Match each problem to an example.
A. Purple prose
B. Wrong timing/order
C. Profligate use of adverbs
D. Sliding point of view
E. Stilted Dialogue
- When Corrigan looked up, he saw Mary gazing at him like a lost puppy. He looked away, got up, and made for the door. As she watched him leave, her look hardened.
- "That's great," she said delightedly.
- She had seen all she need to see, she decided. It was time to go home. She could understand why the sales clerk ignored her, and felt confident that putting back the dress was the right decision. She loved shopping, and hoped this would be the day she found her wedding dress. She unsnapped the clasp of her bag, and dug out her keys.
- "Do you really think so?" she asked.
"I do," he responded.
"I'm so glad you came to visit, Dan." she said.
"I wondered if I would see you again.
"It would have been difficult for me to have stayed away," he said. "Just the thought of your constant care for the pets people entrust to your care is an indication of your true personality."
"Do you really think so?" she asked.
- "Oh, Dan, do you honestly and truly think so?" she asked, her heart beating like a trip hammer, her breath coming fast, like a butterfly's wings.
"I do, yes, I do," he responded. He could feel his pulse quicken, and wondered why he'd never noticed the shimmering gloss of her hair, the curve of her spine, the depth of her eyes, bluer than the bluest blue. In this one moment, he felt he had never seen the sun rise before, never noticed how the light refracted over the water. He had never lived, really, not until now.