Saturday, December 25, 2010

Merry Christmas from Jungle Red Writers!


And a one
And a two
And a-
All together now!

Follow the little bouncing ball..
**Mitch Miller



HANK: Last year, about this time, I was deep into revisions. In order to prevent myself from actually working, I decided (as any of us would) to write new words to an old song. The revisions were fine, and now just a fond memory. The book will be out next year, if all goes as planned. But the song? Well, it's almost Christmas day so what better time to do a little Jungle Red caroling!

On the first day of revisions, my editor said to me:

A partridge wouldn’t like a pear tree.

On the second day of revisions, my editor said to me:

Write a little faster

And a partridge wouldn’t like a pear tree.

On the third day of revisions, my editor said to me:

Try to use some humor

Write a little faster

And a partridge wouldn’t like a pear tree.

On the fourth day of revisions, my editor said to me:

Make your chapters shorter

Try to use some humor

Write a little faster

And a partridge wouldn’t like a pear tree.

On the fifth day of revisions, my editor said to me:


Find a better plot!

Make your chapters shorter

Write a little faster

Try to use some humor

And a partridge wouldn’t like a pear tree.

On the sixth day of revisions, my editor said to me:

Six weeks til deadline

Find a better plot!

Make your chapters shorter

Write a little faster

Try to use some humor

And a partridge wouldn’t like a pear tree.

On the seventh day of revisions, my editor said to me:

Seven chapters bore me

Six weeks til deadline

Find a better plot!

Make your chapters shorter

Write a little faster

Try to use some humor

And a partridge wouldn’t like a pear tree.

On the eighth day of revisions, my editor said to me:

Eight titles vetoed

Seven chapters bore me

Six weeks til deadline

Find a better plot!
Make your chapters shorter

Write a little faster

Try to use some humor

And a partridge wouldn’t like a pear tree.

On the ninth day of revisions, my editor said to me:
Nine new characters needed

Eight titles vetoed

Seven chapters bore me

Six weeks til deadline
Find a better plot!

Make your chapters shorter

Write a little faster

Try to use some humor

And a partridge wouldn’t like a pear tree.

On the tenth day of revisions, my editor said to me:

Ten motivations missing

Nine new characters needed

Eight titles vetoed

Seven chapters bore me

Six weeks til deadline

Find a better plot!

Make your chapters shorter

Write a little faster

Try to use some humor

And a partridge wouldn’t like a pear tree.



On the eleventh day of revisions, my editor said to me:

Eleven conflicts iffy

Ten motivations missing
Nine new characters needed

Eight titles vetoed

Seven chapters bore me

Six weeks til deadline

Find a better plot!
Make your chapters shorter

Write a little faster

Try to use some humor

And a partridge wouldn’t like a pear tree.

On the twelfth day of revisions, my editor said to me:

Twelve months til the sequel

Eleven conflicts iffy

Ten motivations missing

Nine more characters needed

Eight titles vetoed

Seven chapters bore me

Six weeks til deadline
Find a better plot!

Make your chapters shorter

Write a little faster

Try to use some humor

And a partridge wouldn’t like a pear tree.

ROBERTA: Love the song Hank. But I'd still much rather revise than write that dratted first draft!


HANK: Oh, I actually love revisions. Not that you'd know it from the song. But let's see, maybe I should write a first draft song. Or better, a synopsis song.

To the tune of MARIA:

Synopsis!

I still have to write my synopsis

But not one useful word

Or sentence has occured

To me....

Okay, sing along! Anyone??? And Happy Holidays!

8 comments:

Hallie Ephron said...

This made my morning as I wait for the kiddies (now in their 30s) to get up. Love to you all!

And now I have an earwig... Synopsisssss!

Paula Matter said...

I came over here because I too am writing for a kid to get up. Love the Synopsis song, Hank!

Merry Christmas to some of my favorite ladies!

Paula Matter said...

Ha ha! That should be waiting for a kid!!

Freudian slip, perhaps? LOL

Hank Phillippi Ryan said...

Oh, Paula, that's hilarious.

ANd hey, Hallie! Souunds like a lovely morning.

Muchas smoochas and happy holidays to all!

Pat Marinelli said...

I didn't get here until tonight but now I have the Twelve Days of Christmas running around in my head.

this is priceless, Hank.

Happy Holidays.

Hank Phillippi Ryan said...

Thanks, Pat! (They say you can get a song out of your head if you replace it with Jingle Bell Rock.)

It could work...or, make it worse.

xoxoxo :-)

Pat Marinelli said...

Looking out my window, right about now I'm replacing it with "Let it Snow!"

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