On High School

High School: Fab? Or Forget it?

"True terror is to wake up one morning and find your high school class is running the country. "

**Kurt Vonnegut

HANK: Was high school the best time of your life? Or would you rather forget it? I'm pretty glad it's in my rear view.

I just went back to my home town for an event honoring alums of Pike High School, my alma mater. It was lovely, because I was delighted to be an honoree. But traumatic, because I had to give a speech about it. And that meant I had to think about high school. And my memories of those years--although I can still sing the Red Devils fight song--are not full of heart-warming nostalgia.

Frankly, an unworthy thought crossed my mind. I considered beginning my speech: Thank you for inducting me in to the Pike Hall of Fame. I would like to ask, however, where were you all when I needed a date for the prom? (Can you believe I still thought about that? FORTY years later?)

I discarded that idea, and went with genuine gratitude. I did learn a lot in high school: to love Shakespeare, the fun of analytical thinking, how to drive, and that I should not take any more math. Honor Society, yes. Prom date, no.

And wow. Being one hundred per cent uncool for 4 years was a tough thing. I admitted, in my speech, that I had sneaked into every language club yearbook photo, even though I did not take Latin or Spanish. (You can see what a rebel I was.)

I also admitted that I had not actually attended every phys ed class, and that moreover, I still have dreams that I was not allowed to graduate as a result. And I apologized for how often I got sent home for wearing short skirts. (I had figured if they didn't like me in Indianapolis, they would love me in Liverpool, and I dressed accordingly.)

It turned out fine. of course. And looking back, it's likely that those 4 years of nerd-dom were actually beneficial. I was reading instead of partying, much as I was bitterly sad about it at the time. So, thanks, Pike High School. Turns out, it was a wonderful four years. I just didn't know it at the time. Did you love high school? How did it change you?

JAN: It's not that I have bad memories of high school, its mostly that I have no memories of high school. In our town, CLifton, New Jersey, high school didn't start until tenth grade and by then, apathy was big. It was totally uncool to take part in any school event, even the prom, and in our year book under Who's Who. My class wrote "Who cares?"

One of my major goals in high school was to skip phys ed so I could smoke cigarettes in the bathroom. (note from Hank: this photo is not Jan!) Imagine my surprise, to find out much later in life that I really was pretty athletic and actually would have enjoyed all those team sports I was eschewing.

I was so not into highschool that I figured out a way to skip my senior year and go straight to college. (which back then, was easier than you might think). The great thing about that was I got to go to college with my older brother, and I wouldn't change that for the world (especially since I married one of his college room-mates,)But the sad part is that I missed all that bonding that goes on in the senior year and never felt a "part" of high school. I did go back for a reunion though, and realized that I have a lot of really good memories with the kids I went to junior high with. Back before I was "too cool" to participate!

ROSEMARY: I actually said "Oh, no" out loud when I saw the heading on this blog. Please don't make me relive high school, it was bad enough the first time around. It's a wonder I graduated and with pretty decent marks (I think) since all I remember doing was hanging our with friends, smoking, and going to parties. I travelled with a pack of 30-50 kids....wait a minute..this doesn't sound so bad..

HALLIE: I do think that the reason that Hank is such a thoroughly NICE person (really, just as nice as she seems) is because of that traumatic high school experience. Sheesh, Jan, sounds like a different century not merely a different decade when you were in school.

I went (don't groan) to Beverly Hills High School. Back in the days when it was just another high school (except that it had an oil well on the football field and a gym with a pool that had a baskeball court that could be rolled out over it...maybe not so typical). Classmates were Richard (Ricky back then; he was in all the plays ) Dreyfuss and Albert Brooks (Einstein back then and class clown). Needless to say they were not my buddies.

I know this will surprise many, but I was not a cheerleader or a flag girl. I did a brief stint, marching about on the Drill Team wearing a smelly orange felt outfit and white boots with tassels. Adorable though I was, I never got asked out on a single date. Did not hang out with a 'crowd' or even a best friend. In short it was excruciating. I could have ended up a serial killer.

I went to one reunion, my 25th. Me to one of the once popular and now blonde: "So what are you doing now?" Her answer: "I'm into horses and avocadoes." O-kaaaay.

ROBERTA: Oh high school was so mixed for me too! Of course I was an overachiever in every way. Socially? Just not cool. And you had to be cool to be chosen as a cheerleader, which was of course every girl’s dream. A boyfriend and cheerleading—that’s what I wanted. I made up for the lack by trying out for plays (bit parts, not much talent), singing in the chorale (ditto, lots of enthusiasm but not much talent,) editing the yearbook, and running for treasurer of the student council. During campaign season, we made huge banners that read “Bobbie kisses babies!”

Whatever effect they might have had, I did win the election. Then stashed the accounts ledger in my locker, where it stayed until the end of year. I panicked when I realized I had to try to remember and reproduce all the entries I should have been making. (My husband pays the bills for now…)

But the most interesting thing about my high school was our all-girl bagpipe band—the only one in the country, complete with kilts, drummers, tons of marching bagpipers, and the Highlander dancers. I tried out for that dance troupe and spent the last couple years dancing with swords at the football games. (NOTE from Hank: This photo is not Roberta.)

I dug out a short story I wrote eight years ago (the first incarnation of Dr. Rebecca Butterman) that featured the Highlander dancers: http://www.robertaisleib.com/golf/piper.htm

Ps I never had a date for the damn prom either. The kids do it right these days, often attending with a group of friends. I wonder if they’ll end up less traumatized? But then what will they write???

pps Oh hooray, I found a youtube video for you of the bagpipe band. If you make it as far as the dancers, that is NOT what we wore! We danced wearing kilts and all the traditional accoutrements...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xE-T8kLXBYg

HANK: Wow, what I didn't know about my own blog sisters! I NEED to see Hallie in the drill team outfit, "Bobbie" in her kilt. ( I was a majorette, briefly, but the band director put me in the middle of the back row because I was so bad. I DO wish I still had my white boots.) And what does 'Bobbie Kisses Babies' even mean?

So--how about you in high school? Time to tell all! And come back Wednesday--I'll tell you the worst thing that happened to me. Then we can see if your stories are worse.
Going to watch the You Tube video now...

Frabjous Friday!

HALLIE: Okay, here are the answers --

"Christmas won't be Christmas without any presents," grumbled Jo, lying on the rug.
-- Little Women - In this enduring novel, Louisa May Alcott gave us the rebellious Jo March who, more than Nancy Drew, inspired a lot of young women to write.

Amerigo Bonasero sat in New York Criminal Court Number 3 and waited for justice; vengeance on the men who had so cruelly hurt his daughter, who had tried to dishonor her.
-- The Godfather - It's hard to read this Mario Puzo novel without hearing Brando's raspy Don Vito Corleone voice--do you remember why he talks that way (he was shot in the throat)?

In the town, there were two mutes and they were always together.
-- The Heart is a Lonely Hunter - Carson McCullers set this novel in the deep South in the depths of the depression; the two characters are deaf-mute John Singer and tomboy/aspiring pianist Mick Kelly. McCullers wrote it when he was just 23.

In a country such as Amerika, there is bound to be a hell-of-a-lot of food lying around just waiting to be ripped off.
-- Steal This Book - Abbie Hoffman late '60s rant about what's wrong with Amerika that begins, appropriately enough, with a "Table of Discontents"

Here's a book quiz, Part II

Anyone else out there love nonsense words? Match these nonsense words to the author who invented them:

1. wampeter, granfalloon, karass
2. frabjous, vorpal, whiffling, uffish, brillig, slithy, gyre, borogove
3. squitch, thneed, sneetch, grinch, gack, Bar-ba-Loot
4. frobscottle, swishfiggler, snozzcumber, Oompa-Loompas, disgusterous
5. scroobious, meloobious, borascible, slobaciously, himmeltanious,
flumpetty, mumbian
6. pensieve, muggle, animagus, bludger, patronus, mudblood, obliviate,
splinch

a. Edward Lear
b. Lewis Carroll
c. Kurt Vonneegut
d. J. K. Rowlings
e. Dr. Seuss
f. Roald Dahl

(1 e,2 b, 3 a, 4 f, 5 c, 6 d)

More quizzes, anyone??

Method to the Madness

HALLIE: Okay, how I wrote it--"1001 Books for Every Mood" was written at a dead run. Six months, start to finish. My husband donated an old library card catalogue box (see photo) to the effort, and I started with the moods. "For a Good Laugh" and "For a Good Cry" were quickly followed by "For a Wallow in a Slough of Despond." Then "To Behave." Followed of course by "To Misbehave"--entries for that one include "Fear of Flying," "Moll Flanders," "Wicked," and "Where the Wild Things Are."

Of course they include my personal favorites, but the truth is, most of the books I've read I wouldn't include because I wanted (as Miss Jean Brodie would have said) the creme de la creme. For months I carried around 3x5 cards and asked everyone who had the temerity to be carrying a book--people on trains and busses, in restaurants and on street corners. I got some pretty strange looks, but most of the time people are delighted to be asked. I also asked booksellers and librarians and book groups.

I jotted each title on a card, and gave the ones I hadn't read my unscientific "sniff test"--I read the opening, sampled more pages, and then checked out all the book reviews and readers' comments I could get my hands on. If the book "passed," I found a mood for it and added it to the file box.

HANK: So it just got bigger and bigger? I love organization--files and charts and lists. So I think the process sounds like so much fun, and like putting together a wonderful jigsaw puzzle when you don't even know yet what picture it's making. (But then, I don't have a deadline.)

How did you decide to use all the icons? Knowing in one glance if a book is provocative, or funny, or a page-turner--it's like a Michelin guide for books, you know?

How did you decide literary merit, if you can reveal it? And how did you do the quizzes? And oh, was there a book that everyone wanted? That came up again and again? And you said you included your favorite..will you tell?

Ah, reporter me can't stop with the questions. You can see I think this book is fascinating. Not only the result, but the process.

HALLIE: Yup, it grew like Topsy. My pile of discarded titles is about 500-strong.

You're right, Hank, I sort of thought of this as a Michelin or Zagats for books...hence the icons. How many stars to give for literary merit? It was easy if the book won book prizes, but otherwise I based the rating on the excerpts I read, the book reviews, and reader comments.

Yes, there were favorites that kept coming up over and over. But once you get past Austen, Tolstoy, Hemingway, Steinbeck, Faulkner (yes, there are people who can read Faulkner), and Stephen King. there's a surprising diversity among the books people suggest. That's because there's no one "reader" out there--there's the occasional omnivore, but there are also those who read only literary fiction, or history, or mystery, or romance, or sci-fi, or sports or ... That's why there's such a range of titles in there.

Okay, okay -- here are some of my favorites:
- The Time Traveler's Wife (Audrey Niffenegger)
- The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time (Mark Haddon)
- The Thurber Carnival (James Thurber)
- A Little Princess (Frances Hodgson Burnett)
- Rootabaga Stories (Carl Sandburg)
- Alice, Let's Eat (Calvin Trillin)

And I had a great time putting together the quizzes. Here are some opening lines. What books are they from?

• Christmas won't be Christmas without any presents,’ grumbled Jo, lying on the rug.


• Amerigo Bonasero sat in New York Criminal Court Number 3 and waited for justice; vengeance on the men who had so cruelly hurt his daughter, who had tried to dishonor her.


• In the town, there were two mutes and they were always together.


• In a country such as Amerika, there is bound to be a hell-of-a-lot of food lying around just waiting to be ripped off.

No cheating by looking them up! Titles will be posted Friday.

1001 MORE Books

April goes out like a lion! Bestseller list from Mystery Lovers Bookshop:

• #4 Paperback: Face Time by Hank Phillippi Ryan
• #5 Trade: 1001 Books for Every Mood by Hallie Ephron
• #7 Hardcover: Pushing Up Daisies by Rosemary Harris

HALLIE: Last week I was in Ohio and Pennsylvania talking about my new book, "1001 Books for Every Mood." I had such a blast writing this thing--a nice break from fiction. It's even more fun chatting with readers and booksellers and librarians about favorite books. They're tickled to find a favorite has been included--even more tickled when they can recommend a book I left out.

I'm starting a list for "1001 MORE books..." -- here are some of the book people recommended that I wish I'd put in:
- "Loving Frank" by Nancy Horan (by the way is #1 on MLB's bestseller list for hardcover)
- "Olive Kitteridge" (Elizabeth Strout)
- "Funny in Farci" (Firsoozeh Dumas)
- "Peace Like a River" ( Leif Enger)

At Books & Co in Dayton, Sharon Roth asked what's the oldest book I have in there. Turns out it's "Gulliver's Travels," in print since 1726. Read it when you're in the mood "For grand adventure." Did you know that the word "Yahoos" comes from GT? In Gulliver's fourth voyage, a mutinous crew abandons him on Houyhnhnms where finds a race of intelligent horses who rule over Yahoos: “abominable animals” with perfect human faces. Turns out they are humans.

So what favorite books would you have included if you'd been putting together a list of 1001 books for every mood?

JAN: One of my absolutely favorite books ever -- that I rarely hear anything about -- is Lisa Grunwald's "New Year's Eve." It's about two sisters who have young toddlers. One of them dies, and the other toddler, a little girl, starts to see visions of the little boy who died. It's all about the different ways we cope with tragedy, and how our belief systems can bring us together or tear us apart. It's beautifully written, and inspirational.

I would add "Ava's Man" by Rick Bragg, which was Amazon's top pick for 2001 and a fabulous read -- although I suspect not too different from the other Bragg memoir you did include: ("All Over But the Shoutin'").

And although you included "Blink" from Malcolm Gladwell, I'd also add "The Tipping Point" -- parts of which I still think about even though its been years since I read the book.

And Hallie, I brought your book to my book group, and we used it to pick our June read. We were looking for either a good mystery or good classic. We scanned your book and came up with Josephine Tey's "The Daughter of Time." It's a terrific resource!

(Pardon the fuzzy copy--it's the best I could do.)

HALLIE: That's great, Jan - I've added those titled to my "More" list... and I hope someone in your reading will write a "Readers Guide" and win a free copy of the book. (Jan wrote reader's guides for "Rebecca" and "Presumed Innocent." Check them out.

HANK: Oh, what a great idea. And irresistible. I have two ideas, maybe three, but let me ask you something first.

How on earth did you put this book together? Can you tell us--maybe Wednesday? Or whenever. All the icons, the categories, the quizzes, the memorable characters--it's overwhelming to think about the level of organzation that certainly went into this. Did you use note cards? Or how could you possibly keep it straight? And how did you make all the decisions? Cboose the icons? Figure it all out?

It's the most "complicated on the inside and simple on the outside" book I've ever seen. I keep it by my computer now, and can't resist comparing it to what I think, and finding new books, and agreeing and remembering. I love that you put two of my very faves, "Day of the Jackal" and "The Faithful Spy" together. Stuff like that. Genius.

Okay--quickly then. For Grand Adventure: "Winter's Tale," by Mark Helprin. Best book I've ever read, maybe. It's about, um, well, it's complicated. And it takes place during the, well, it's complicated. In New York, though. Mostly. It's fantastic.

And "Custom of the Country." Or "Age of Innocence." Or "House of Mirth." Your call. But we have to have Edith Wharton. But where would we put her?

And then to Slide Down the Rabbit Hole (another of your terrific categories)--"Diamond in the Window," by Jane Langton. Where else can you find magic and transcendentalism in a YA book? If I had an eleven year old son or daughter, I'd sit them right down with it.

RO: Some years back I did a similar book on videos. That was so much fun to put together, but a heckuva lot easier than your book! Oh boy...in no particular order...."The Razor's Edge," The "Golden Bowl," "Age of Innocence," "Fall of a Sparrow," used to love John Galsworthy, John O'Hara and Richard Yates but not sure they still hold up,...for pure fun anything by Carl Hiassen.
They'd all be included but I don't know where!

Love that you had the Hug Your Dog section...went on a driving trip with my dog a few years ago and brought "Travels with Charley." It was perfect! Of course we wound up at Gettysburg, so I had to reread "Killer Angels." This is a little like choosing the right wine with dinner isn't it??

ROBERTA: I'm at a disadvantage because I don't have this fabulous book with me on the road...However, the books that come to my overtraveled mind seem to be kids' books this morning: "Charlotte's Web," "Winnie the Pooh," "The Wolves of Willoughby Chase," "The Pink Motel." Can't wait to hold your book in my hands Hallie. congratulations on a wonderful new addition to the book addicts of the world!

HALLIE: Great suggestions, Roberta. Got the first two, not the last two. And ACK! I was so chagrined to see I'd left out Edith Wharton. It was a synaptic lapse...I saw I had Evelyn Waugh and checked off Edith Wharton. Not even the same gender. Do you do that, mix up names? Sinclair Lewis/Upton Sinclair? Wallace Stegner/Wallace Stevens? Tom Wolfe/Thomas Wolfe/Tobias Wolff...

Please share your favorites -- We're keeping a list!

Now you are a....fountain pen!

I'm going to a different kind of party today. (Yes my life is a steady stream of parties but I was also up until 1am tweaking my manuscript which is due on Friday..)

I'm going to a Bar Mitzvah. Somehow, even though I grew up in Brooklyn New York, I've never been to a Bar Mitzvah (or a Bat Mitzvah, which is, I believe a similar ceremony for girls.)

Communions and confirmations, yes. But basically, if you were Italian and grew up in Brooklyn, they involved patent leather shoes, a new dress and lots of food. I don't remember there being any transformation.

Two people I mentioned it to, said the same thing to me...Now you are a fountain pen! Apparently at the end of the ceremony the rabbi (or whoever) says now you are a man, and for many years the standard gift was a fountain pen. The hot gift today is probably an Ipod, but Now you are an Ipod just doesn't have the same ring to it.

I do hope my young friend (who is a wonderful kid..very cute, smart and a little mischievous) gets a fountain pen from someone. I will turn him on to The Fountain Pen Hospital on Warren Street in Manhattan.

I'd heard about the FPH some years ago, but never ventured that far downtown until The Mysterious Bookshop moved there. I'm a pen junky. If my next book contract is a nice fat one

I'm going straight down to FPH to treat myself.

Rosemary

The Edgar Awards

And the winners are...
Fresh from last night's MWA Edgars awards...

Best Novel Down River by John Hart
Best First Novel In the Woods by Tana French
Best Paperback Original Queenpin by Megan Abbott
Best Fact Crime Reclaiming History: The Assassination of President John F. Kennedy
Best Critical/Biographical Arthur Conan Doyle: A Life in Letters by Dan Stashower, Jon Lellenberg and Charles Foley
Best Short Story The Golden Gopher by Susan Straight
Best Juvenile The Night Tourist by Katherine Marsh
Best Young Adult Rat Life by Tedd Arnold
Best Play Panic by Joseph Goodrich
Best Television episode Pilot for Burn Notice
Best Motion Picture Screenplay Michael Clayton
Grand Master Bill Pronzini
Robert L. Fish Memorial Award The Catch by Mark Ammons
Raven Awards Center for the Book in the Library of Congress
Kate's Mystery Books

Congrats to all the winners and nominees.
...I know, you're all really dying to know what I wore, right? I went with the Givenchy tuxedo, an off-white silk shirt, and pointy ankle strap shoes with a little bit of fishnet toe cleavage. I thought I looked pretty good. Then I got there and felt like a total frump! We're talking major taffeta, bows, wraps, and a killer short white dress covered with passementerie (on a blond, of course.)

Ruth McCarty looked spectacular in a black two piece outfit with a long skirt that she called "wearable art'..and it was. I want it.
Maybe next year I'll be more adventurous..
Rosemary

Rosemary

The Edgars

Tuxedo or slinky dress? Stilettos or conservative pumps? Red nails or just buff? What's a woman to do? Tonight I'll be attending the annual Edgars banquet at the Grand Hyatt Hotel in New York. Last year was my first time and it was a pretty glam event. Stephen King and I didn't hang out but we were in the same room and that's a start.

I was thrilled to be seated in between Parnell Hall and Rhys Bowen and I hope I get just as lucky
tonight.

I haven't read all of the nominated books but I am pulling for one nominee in particular...a certain bald guy..wait a minute, a lot of those guys are bald. Well, it would probably be impolitic to say who it is...let's just say it's the biker dude.

Pix and winners tomorrow!