tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post2709161200928837065..comments2024-03-18T21:16:14.441-04:00Comments on Jungle Red Writers: True Crime Tuesday: Man Kills Wife, SelfJungle Red Writershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16646429819267618412noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-68718912567402014202013-10-17T05:32:51.946-04:002013-10-17T05:32:51.946-04:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.Replica Watches Australiahttp://www.buywatchesau.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-63801495106459940762013-08-12T04:22:48.752-04:002013-08-12T04:22:48.752-04:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.writing a scientific research paperhttp://www.researchpaperwritingservices.net/our-services/science-research-paper-writing-service/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-2305189016176770632011-10-09T17:39:49.934-04:002011-10-09T17:39:49.934-04:00There are two main factors which result in these m...There are two main factors which result in these murder/suicides.<br />I. The mistaken impression that the male is more often the abuser.<br />2. The special status and consideration given to women, many of whom take advantage of this by abusing a man for years until he has a total breakdown and reacts in desperation to end the<br />situation. You might ask "Couldn't he have simply informed police?"<br />NO! He would be laughed and sneered at .... and if police spoke to his wife, she would claim that he'd been beating her for years. She would be believed, he would be arrested and charged, government funded support groups would then guide her through the proceedings .... including coaching in what to say and how to appear for best courtroom effect. <br />The man's suffering would be compouded if his wife had gambled away all the money and left him in debt (lawyers don't work for free). Since there would be no true investigation the judge would then give the woman credibility, and the home, and the car, and the kids ... etc: <br />A case in point is "The Hadley Inquest" which can be referenced online.<br />I didn't call police ... I emailed the Provincial Premier which brought the same result. <br />Now at 76 years old and in poor health I can only try to warn others.oldtimerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08101462067188457663noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-44405535240173305032011-10-09T17:35:03.517-04:002011-10-09T17:35:03.517-04:00This comment has been removed by the author.oldtimerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08101462067188457663noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-89272590075776396662011-06-15T09:16:04.705-04:002011-06-15T09:16:04.705-04:00Chris Bohjalian's recent (2010?) book Secrets ...Chris Bohjalian's recent (2010?) book Secrets of Eden also grappled with this issue. <br /><br />At the bottom of this post I've linked to a Huffington Post blog by Chris in which he discusses the same phenomenon Julia points out: In the lovely, rural, relatively crime-free states of Northern New England, despite incredible work by groups like the Maine Coalition to End Domestic Violence, a large percentage of the murders each year are DV murders. It makes you want to weep, but posts like this one inspire us to act.<br /><br />linkhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/chris-bohjalian/secrets-of-eden-its-one-t_b_445085.html<br /><br />BrendaBrenda Buchananhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14161539130987122737noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-271302058081022202011-06-14T20:44:19.038-04:002011-06-14T20:44:19.038-04:00Alice Munro's "Dimension" is a story...Alice Munro's "Dimension" is a story that haunts me. Not a mystery of course, but a crime story.Barb Rossnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-67881852989466403522011-06-14T18:32:44.762-04:002011-06-14T18:32:44.762-04:00Excellent sensitive post! Nancy Pickard wrote a my...Excellent sensitive post! Nancy Pickard wrote a mystery novel about domestic violence in her Jenny Cain series, Marriage Is Murder. But I'm not aware of anyone else who's been able to do this. You've set an interesting challenge before us, Julia!Linda Rodriguezhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11913741596693442469noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-92200450045889278072011-06-14T17:48:34.567-04:002011-06-14T17:48:34.567-04:00What a tragedy. I can't help but wonder what e...What a tragedy. I can't help but wonder what effect this will have on the children of the first couple, the ones who are now with a grandparent. The children of the other couple had such short lives. I don't know if I could write about this kind of thing, but I admire those who can.Ellis Vidlerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11918353154644739285noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-52257770570679999852011-06-14T15:00:05.321-04:002011-06-14T15:00:05.321-04:00Julia--very thought provoking. Thank you..and than...Julia--very thought provoking. Thank you..and thank you anonymous, too. We're glad you're here, sister.<br /><br />Jamie--keep us posted!Hank Phillippi Ryanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17420701704169428286noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-87896533358939167592011-06-14T12:47:28.668-04:002011-06-14T12:47:28.668-04:00It's such a difficult problem--with so many pe...It's such a difficult problem--with so many people owning guns, it only takes one out of control moment and tragedy occurs. Sometimes it is a clear consequence of years of abuse and other times it's a fairly ordinary person who flips at being denied access to his children or having everything taken from him in a divorce.<br />Unfortunately the police often won't intervene until there are clear signs of violence, and restraining orders do nothing.Rhys Bowenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06663634889908752121noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-66601623771746543222011-06-14T09:26:33.064-04:002011-06-14T09:26:33.064-04:00One of the challenges for a writer is an accurate ...One of the challenges for a writer is an accurate portrayal of a woman who is a victim. Reader don't awlays respond to female characters who are cowed, both physically and psychologically. People who don't fight back are considered cowardly, spineless, etc., unless the author is gifted enough to portray that the character *can't* call the police or a friend or family, because fear is that intense. We have numerous resources to help people, it is true, but when it comes right down to it, making the call for help is a solitary and terrifying decision. In fiction, portraying that level of fear while still making the character sympathetic is a challenge.Ramonahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00627775403015684868noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-76136518496399557962011-06-14T08:19:06.819-04:002011-06-14T08:19:06.819-04:00As a lawyer I did Pro Bono (free) work for a Domes...As a lawyer I did Pro Bono (free) work for a Domestic Violence shelter writing Protective Orders. What a frustrating experience. No amount of threats were enough to make the women leave. The abusers are beyond sick, but to save the abused you also need therapy for them. Battered women syndrome is all too real. So often I'd get to court and my client wouldn't show or refused to sign the order. Yet, the abusers were usually nice to the neighbors, so I would have no witness whatsoever. And what broke my heart were the kids caught in the middle.<br />I often wondered what had gone wrong with the abusers--what made them think they can act this way? I could only conclude it was society. We still hide behind the claim "It's a family matter." But it isn't. It's a criminal matter. One day I'll write a thriller about it when I figure out how to make a difference.Jamie Frevelettihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15896037129219297451noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-2371239784680408072011-06-14T08:18:35.354-04:002011-06-14T08:18:35.354-04:00Thanks for the thoughtful post on a horrific subje...Thanks for the thoughtful post on a horrific subject, Julia. My oldest sister was in such a relationship for several years. I'm happy to report that she ran at one point, and has been happily married to a decent man fora couple of decades now. <br /><br />EdithAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-18119838843699568212011-06-14T07:59:30.874-04:002011-06-14T07:59:30.874-04:00Julia, thanks for bringing this to our attention. ...Julia, thanks for bringing this to our attention. And anonymous, so glad you posted about your experience. You describe the fear and isolation and shame so clearly. So glad you were able to get out!<br /><br />I guess the one thing we hope to do with all our stories is make people think about things they don't usually see, and offer some hope?Lucy Burdette aka Roberta Isleibhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04660402177299546055noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-60969269462255399222011-06-14T07:38:47.034-04:002011-06-14T07:38:47.034-04:00Appreciate your sensitive post. A heartbreak, tru...Appreciate your sensitive post. A heartbreak, truly. If we only had the answers.H. L. Bankshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00962451438995683504noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-27479896970803587332011-06-14T05:01:55.772-04:002011-06-14T05:01:55.772-04:00Warning: this is a long comment.
I do not know if...Warning: this is a long comment.<br /><br />I do not know if this qualifies as domestic violence, probably relationship violence, but during my college years, a student was killed by her boyfriend and then killed himself, all in front of the police. She was trying to break up with him. The shockwaves the rippled across the college was far-reaching. The main question on the campus was “WHY?” I remember one of the college newspaper reports examining the warning signs, if there was any. The conflicting responses ranged from “Well, he seemed a little possessive, but maybe he wasn't…” to “He seems like a nice guy, he did not seem like the type…”<br /><br />WHAT do you do when you witness/know/suspect someone who you know or/and care/love is in an abusive relationship? Being someone who was in a less than ideal, probably abusive relationship, and was in for years before finally getting out, I STILL do not have an answer. Only that I wish that people who knew did not all tell/ask me, “Why don’t you just leave?” Because reality is not that simple, I wish it was. Leaving does not always mean safety.<br />.<br />I hope that my experience being in the abusive (yes, I am admitting it was abusive) relationship has made me less judgmental. When things were going terribly, terribly wrong, I was afraid to say anything, ask for help, because I remembered the comments and judgments.<br /><br />I thought about whether I should comment or not. I still feel a deep sense of shame, shame that I could allow myself to be in such a terrible situation. The abuse went on for years. And the isolation. Abuser behavior 101, isolation. Abusers isolate those whom they are abusing from family, friends, and support systems. It is doubling tragic when the abused start isolating themselves. I know, because I did it myself. But I am speaking up now, even though I am speaking anonymously, because I believe this is important, and that it strikes a raw nerve. There is no type. I never thought or/and believed I would EVER be in such a situation, but I was.<br />“But portraying domestic violence poses a challenge to mystery writers, precisely because it is so unmysterious. There are no red herrings and alibis, only rage and control and violence.” <br />Maybe so, but calculation and manipulation are two main elements of domestic violence. Or relationship violence. A lot of the times the abuser would behave perfectly, charmingly towards the outside world, only turning on his/her targets when they are alone. If physical abuse, only hitting where bruises cannot be seen. And violence and abuse takes so many other forms than physical abuse.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com