On adolescent angst and a girl with mermaid hair

HALLIE: Okay, just for the record, I do not think my mother ever had plastic surgery because back then, even if you were a woman Hollywood screenwriter hitting middle age, it was rarely done and certainly not talked about. But she was obsessed with her nose, and I can still see her sitting at the dinner table and pushing up the tip of it in a nearly unconscious gesture. As her daughter I was obsessed with with my nose, too (I'd inherited a combination of hers and my father's which was even worse), and jealous of youngest sister Amy who had miraculously inherited our grandfather's nose and looked, as my mother oh so often pointed out, "like a little Dutch doll."

My sister Delia Ephron’s brand new novel for teens and preteens, “The Girl with the Mermaid Hair,” perfectly captures that excruciating self-consciousness of being an adolescent girl. Sukie Jamieson is young, beautiful, lonely, and so completely self-obsessed that she constantly taking selfies (cell phone photos of herself) and examining herself in every reflective surface. I so remember being that age and SO self-conscious. Sukie has an additional twist: her mother is about to get a facelift.

I love the moment in the book when Sukie’s mother gives her a full-length mirror that once belonged to her grandmother “This mirror will be your best friend and worst enemy.”

DELIA: That really says it all. A mirror is where you go for comfort and reassurance that you’re all right. As a teenager that means that you LOOK all right. You give it so much power, when in fact what’s inside has more power.

HALLIE: To make things worse, Sukie’s mother gets a face lift. How hard is that for a teenager already feeling inadequate and obsessed with her own looks?

DELIA: My niece Maia did research on girls and mirrors for me, interviewing teenage girls whose mothers had face work. What came up over and over was girls were so aware of how mothers were saying “Oh God, I look fat.” Or “Don’t make that expression you’ll get a wrinkle.” The mother starts to age and feel bad about herself and she’s not thinking about her teenage daughter who’s struggling to love her own body.

Don’t you think there’s a lot of narcissism in parents in general around around beauty. I was really interested in is this phenomenon of all these mothers at a certain age hating their looks and saying so, without even thinking of course that their daughter are painfully self conscious. The mom’s an adolescent and so’s the daughter.

HALLIE: Sukie is so beautiful and bright, she seems like she has everything. But she’s really so unhappy.

DELIA: I think when we’re young, we tend to think if you’re beautiful then your life is easy. I wanted Sukie to have this thing outwardly that everyone envies. Inside she’s miserable, she doesn’t now how to connect, she’s lonely, her parents are a disaster, and she relies on her looks because she can’t rely on anything else. She uses her phone to photograph herself but it never rings.

HALLIE: How do you manage to write what could be truly unsympathetic characters so sympathetically?

DELIA: When I write a character, my first question as a writer is: Why would you care about her? I knew that she couldn’t be the way she is if she had good mothering. So the question was: Who was her mother. The minute I knew her mother felt as inadequate as she did (she says her grandmother never gave her a compliment), so insecure and unhappy with her own life, I understood how Suki felt abandoned. And her father uses Sukie to team up against her mother. Once you understood her parents and the situation she’s in, you can forgive her for how she strikes out of her friends because comes out of so much self hate. It’s all about vulnerability.

HALLIE: I felt that. But this is a really funny book, too. I was laughing out loud when Sukie decides she “has ramp” because her nose is that particular shape that she sees in a magazine.

DELIA: When I dealt with pain as a kid, I always turned it into a funny story. And as a writer, I always want to scream Hey! This book is funny, even though it’s really serious.

THANKS, Delia - as a parting gift to us here’s the Jungle Red quiz...

Miss Marple or Hercule Poirot?
DELIA: Miss Marple

Sex or violence?
DELIA: Sex

Pizza or chocolate?
DELIA: Pizza but really both

Daniel Craig or Pierce Brosnan?
DELIA: Daniel Craig but really neither.

Katharine Hepburn or Audrey Hepburn?
DELIA: Audrey Hepburn.

Your favorite non-mystery book?
DELIA: Reading Lolita in Teheran

Favorite book as a kid?
DELIA: Anne of Green Gables

Making dinner or making reservations?
DELIA: Making Dinner

And now, the Jungle Red Big Lie. Tell us four things about you that no one knows. Only three can be true. We'll guess which one is false!
DELIA: : This was hard. So I couldn't quite do it the Jungle Red Big Lie way. Please forgive me. Three of these things are false and one is true, and Hallie knows for sure.
1. When I was twelve I was a ball girl for a tennis match between Gonzalez and Rosewall
2. I slept with a stuffed animal right through college
3. I'm a huge fan of Garth Brooks
I won the high school literary magazine poetry contest

HALLIE: Isn’t that the definition of a fiction writer? We’re better at making things up!)

Delia will be checking in today so please, share your thoughts...

On "Love, Loss, and What I Wore"

HALLIE: My sisters, Delia and Nora Ephron, have written a wonderful play that’s off-Broadway right now, “Love, Loss and What I Wore.” It’s based on the poignant illustrated book/memoir by Ilene “Gingy” Beckerman. To Gingy’s stories they added lots more, including some that I recognized (Nora and her bottomless purse, Delia and her hot pink Mexican wedding skirt). Even my daughter got into the act, collecting bra stories from her friends.

What is it about women and clothes?

DELIA: we start young. Really it's the first thing we get to chose -- what to wear. Even before we get to decide what we want to eat, our moms let us pick out what we are going to wear that day. So we define ourselves with clothes from the start. And we shop with our mom's and we rebel with clothes when we're teenagers. And don't forget dress-up -- I mean "play," pretending to be other people, clomping around in our mom's high heels.

HALLIE: We’re not talking about “fashion” here, right?

DELIA: Absolutely. Not fashion. This play is about the clothes we wore and the memories they trigger. We always remember what we were wearing when ... we fell in love, broke up, and so on and so forth. The stories of our lives told through our clothing.

HALLIE: Of course, our mother picked our clothes growing up. I don’t know why but the dress I remember you wearing as a child is a dark blue and white striped taffeta dress with a drop waist and a swishy skirt, and a red velvet bow at the neck. Do you remember that dress? I was so happy when I grew into it.

DELIA: Now that's interesting. I thought mom let us pick all our clothes. And that dress -- I die when I see myself in it. I was built like a stick, and that dress required someone with curves. And that bow!

HALLIE: What can I say? It was yours, so I coveted it!

The production features five actresses with a cast that rotates every six weeks or so. I went to see it with a half-dozen friends from college. We saw Rhea Pearlman and her daughter Lucy DeVito, Kristin Chenoweth, Capathia Jenkins, and Rita Wilson. They were so phenomenal and seemed to be having so much fun doing it. Do you get to work with the actresses, and how do you decide which one gets to perform which story?

DELIA: Yes and it is the most fun. We rotate in a new cast every month. Since the play is a collection of stories, with each new cast, we have to decide which actors are right for each piece.

HALLIE: The audience I saw this with was rocking, from the minute the cast walked on stage. Do you get to watch audiences respond and talked with them after they’ve seen the show?

DELIA: The actors love to do the show because the audience -- which is mostly women, since this is the story of women's lives -- are very interactive. What happens is that the show triggers your own memories -- so the audience is having a really personal experience. And often they don't want to leave the theater because they are so busy talking to their friends about their own experiences. But not all audiences are alike -- and no two performances are alike -- so there is always the excitement and anxiety, what will this show be like.

HALLIE: After the show I couldn't stop thinking about clothes. The date decision: whether or not to wear a padded bra. The California shoes that nearly dissolved in a New York City rainstorm my first day at college. Not knowing what to wear to my mother's funeral.

What are the clothes that meant something to you?

DELIA: My crocheted dresses that were so, so short and so so sexy that I used to wear everywhere, even to work, when I was in my twenties. My raspberry silk sweater -- I can see it so clearly -- I wore it on my first date with my husband. I was wearing it when the menu caught fire in the restaurant. Very symbolic.

HALLIE: How about you? Please, tell us about something special and what it meant.