How many more days until Spring??

RO: Just about every year for the past 20 years I've gone to the Philadelphia Flower Show. Some years it's better than others - or maybe it's my expectations. Or perhaps there's a direct relationship to how much snow is on the ground! In any event flower show season signals the beginning of the end of winter and a lot of us are ready for that.

This year the theme was Passport to the World and it was one of the best shows in the last 10 years. None of the pictures will do it justice....the giant hot air balloon made out of flowers, the moss elephant, the African manyatta. (In fact those pix wouldn't load for some reason...)

The parrots from the Brazilian garden refused to stay put and there was no shortage of anxiety as they flew around the convention center, screeching and threatening to, um, make a deposit on someone's prized plant.

As usual the orchids were spectacular. As someone who's killed every orchid she's ever touched these other-worldly plants never fail to mesmerize me, and the ones at the show are flawless.
Of course I went to the show for myself..and I do volunteer there at the Horticultural Information Booth. It's one of the most nervewracking things I do all year long.

With the advent of cellphone cameras, anyone can take a picture with their cell and bring it up to the info desk and ask...Why did my plant die? or What's the name of this plant? I think there was only one the hort team couldn't identify, but talk about pressure! Two hundred opportunities to feel like an idiot in a three hour period.

I'm also working on book four in my Dirty Business series which is set at a flower show and the thing that most astounded me in Philly this year was the existence of an urban garden display exactly like one that I had created in my story. It was uncanny! Has anyone ever had that happen...something you've made up turns out to exist??

HANK: Oh, sure. Absolutely. Frighteningly so. Hilariously so. Where to start...
First, I struggled to come up with a name for a very important character in my Charlotte McNally books. He needed a last name--I wanted it to be of indeterminate ehtnicity, strong, two syllables. My first boyfriend (age 10 or so) had the last name "Gelston." So I thought--okay, Gelston, that'll work. But his real first name was (is) Phillip. And I couldn't use that, of course, because of Phillippi in my name.
So I thought: I need a one syllable first name. Strong, masculine, not cute, potentially but not necessarily romantic, appropriate for someone who's fifty or so. Jake, I decided. Ben. Luke. Nick. Sam. Josh. Josh! And so in that complicated way, Josh Gelston was born.

And then soon after PRIME TIME came out, I got an email. And the subject line was: "from Josh Gelston." He was a real guy (and very cool, I might add!) And he has a brother named Ben! And now we're Facebook friends.

And just after I wrote a character who is an undercover investigator for the IRS, it was BIZARRE when a glass mug appeared by the coffee machine in our office--with the logo "Internal Revenue Service Criminal Investigation Division." No one knew where it came from.
I have to admit, I'm still a little creeped out by that.

RO: Mundo Bizarro. Life imitating art?

A lot of what we write about is as they say "ripped from the headlines" but what if the headlines are hundreds of years old? In Philly for the show I had a chance to visit with one of my favorite Philadelphians. Stop by tomorrow when we chat with Cordelia Frances Biddle, author of Without Fear, the latest in her Martha Beale series

On Lying

"And, after all, what is a lie? 'Tis but The truth in masquerade"

Lord Byron

JAN: Do people really lie three times within 10 minutes of meeting someone new? That's a popular statistic circulating the web. Even as a journalist, always searching for lies, I found this tough to believe.

But then I realized. Hey, It's true. I probably lie a minimum of three times within the first ten minutes of a cocktail party. At least by the way the study defines lying.

Included in the definition are things like falsely agreeing with others and the misrepresentation of feelings. Ever choke back the way you really think?? I do it all the time.

Let me explain. Politically, I'm probably to the left of 80 percent of the country. Personally, of course, I think I'm dead center, with some surprising views on various issues that keep both the conservative and the liberal action groups sending me mail. But I live in Massachusetts, so by local standards, I'm a raging conservative. And because I'm a writer, people take it for granted that I'm liberal. They make statements presuming I agree with them. Do I jump into it?

It would mean a verbal fist fight, and because I believe that no one has ever really swayed anyone's political beliefs by cocktail conversation, I smile and say nothing.

For me, it's politics. For others it's religion, music, or whether they actually enjoy the ballet. I know people who have to lie to stop people from shoving a cocktail into their hands. Sometimes we just keep our mouths shut because it just doesn't seem right to tell your best friend her new hairdo looks like straw or that her new drapes are making you dizzy.

So come on, fess up: What do you LIE about??

HALLIE: Here's what I don't lie about. My age. Or what I paid for the outfit you just complimented me on, bless you.

But yes, if someone starts in on anything political, I don't so much lie as refuse to engage. My politics are my personal business, thank you very much. Besides, it seems like I rarely meet anyone who is genuinely interested in engaging in a discussion on issues--they just want to be clever and dismissive and yell. So I shut down. Is that lying?

JAN: Yes, according to this study's definition: You are lying about your feelings, God forbid.

RO: My first instinct was to protest that I never lie, but reading your definition of lying I guess I do. I went to a reunion recently...and definitely dropped a few omissions/lies there. And Bouchercon is coming up...oooh I'll probably do a bit of fibbing there. (e.g., "It's an honor just to be nominated!") I try not to make a habit of it, though, because I'm really a terrible liar. My mother always used to say that and I think she did it just to spook me into always telling her the truth. She said she could always tell when I was lying and now I think everyone else can too.

So Hallie...where did you get that wonderful black shoulder bag you have...the small one with the metal clasp? Was it fabulously expensive? (This is a test.)

HALLIE: Ooooh,isn't it great? Italy! At a factory outlet...gorgeousness for less than $50.00. Unless you count the cost of the trip. Those Italians really know how to make gorgeous handbags.

HANK: I guess...I do...I always feel SO GUILTY,though. Social excuses, mostly.(Oh, so sorry we can't make it, because...but most often I don't give a reason.) And I actually do lie about the cost of things. Actually, I don't lie, I just don't tell. And in political discussions, I generally just try to prevent the other two guys from fighting.

There's a person I see from time to time, and if you ask her a question, she'll often begin her answer with "I'm not gonna lie to you, but..." I just instantly decide whatever she's saying is not true. (And RO, it IS an honor to be nominated for an Anthony. No lie. Congratulations!)

On Air Time

“Sassy, fast-paced and appealing. First-class entertainment.”
**Sue Grafton

“I love this series!”
*Suzanne Brockmann

“AIR TIME is a fun, fast read with a heroine who's sexy, stylish, and smart. I loved it."
**Nancy Pickard

Smart and savvy Boston TV reporter Charlotte McNally is back. This time she’s taking on the fashion industry, where she learns “When purses are fake – the danger is real.” I chased down Hank – Hank Phillippi Ryan –Emmy-winning Boston television reporter and our own, Agatha-award winning mystery writer to tell us more about Charlie’s latest adventure. Air Time is in bookstores now!

JAN: Tell us more about the glamorous world of high fashion Charlie enters and the fun I know you must have had in putting her there.

HANK: Imagine the research I had to do into the world of designer purses! It was tough, but someone had to dive in…

Actually, Charlie’s investigation into the world of counterfeit couture came straight from been there-done that. In my day job as a TV reporter, my producer (not Franklin!) and I have done several in-depth investigations into the world of knock-offs—not only purses and scarves, but blue jeans and watches and DVDs and videos.

We went undercover and with a hidden camera—like Charlie does—into various back-alley stores where counterfeit merchandise was being sold, and also into some suburban purse parties where women—certainly knowing they were fake and thinking was fine—were scooping up piles of counterfeit Burberrys and Chanels.

You should know— law enforcement tells us, it’s not illegal to buy the purses—unless you’re buying large amounts that are obviously for resale. The illegality is in the copying and manufacture and sale of what’s clearly a trademarked and proprietary item. (As the elegant fashion exec Zuzu Mazny-Latos tells Charlie in AIR TIME—it’s like taking Gone with the Wind—and putting your name on the cover.)

JAN: Something I've always wanted to do, by the way. So much easier than all that darn writing!

HANK: Anyway—lots of AIR TIME is based on research and reality—besides the undercover work, and the research, I’ve done may interviews with the federal agencies in charge of battling counterfeiting, the attorneys who help big companies protest their products, and even the private investigators the designers hire to scout out counterfeits.

JAN: Charlie is smart, savvy, compassionate, witty and hip. Is she an effortless creation or are does she ever give you trouble some days?

HANK: Oh, yeah, effortless is exactly the word. (Pausing to laugh.) Well, thank you. Yes, I like Charlie. But some days she does fight me. And actually, I love that. I have put her in situations…where she just won’t do what I say. There was one day when she was in a room with some others—in a draft of PRIME TIME—and she put her hands on her hips and said—“Hank. There are too many of us in this room!”

I remember it well—I burst out laughing, and rewrote he scene with fewer people. She was right. In this case, at least. And in AIR TIME, there’s a scene (which, spoiler-wise, I can’t tell you about now) where she absolutely would not do what I planned. Would NOT. And in her head she said exactly the sentence she now says in the book. I loved it—she was right--and we can talk about that later.

JAN: It sounds like Charlie faces more direct danger in this book than in PrimeTime and FaceTime. Did that present new writing challenges?

HANK: Face more direct danger. Well, yes she does. And that’s an interesting question, because I didn’t plan it that way. Or even think about that.

I had what I think is a pretty great idea for a counterfeiting scheme—and when I talked to law enforcement types about it, they had to admit it would work! So I just took my criminal enterprise and played it out to the logical conclusion.

In writing, I always ask myself: what would really happen? And then that’s what happens. So Charlie’s in more direct danger, yes, she is. Because the people she’s dealing with are more desperate and more malevolent and the stakes are higher.

JAN: What does Charlie learn in this particular adventure?

HANK: I always knew my years of being devoted to Vogue would be valuable! And now I can probably deduct my subscription, right? But I must admit—lots of the inside scoop on the fashion industry in AIR TIME is, um, made up. The company Delleton-Marachelle, and it’s history, and its atelier and methods—all fictional.

Oh, Charlie learns a lot in AIR TIME, and it’s not all about fashion.

The theme of AIR TIME is authenticity—how do you tell the real thing?

Of course, that’s what counterfeiting is about—trying to fool someone into accepting a fake.

But also of course, in a 40-something woman’s search for true love, there are going to be exactly the same kinds of questions. In love: How do you know it’s the real thing?

In AIR TIME Charlie has a split second to decide who’s the real thing. Her life depends on it.

JAN: Finally, how do you an Emmy-award winning reporter who delves into investigations and still jumps on a breaking news story --- like Charlie – balance it all? An exhausting news career while writing and promoting three novels and pitching in to help the Boston mystery writing community the way you do.

HANK: Ah, thanks Jan. When I was writing PRIME TIME, I was about 40,000 words in, about halfway through, and I realized I had NO idea what I was doing. I called my mother, and said—Yikes, (or something like that.) I love my book, but I have no idea if I can finish it.

Mom paused and then said: You will if you want to.

And I think of that every day.

JAN: You know, you told me that once a while ago and I STILL THINK of it all the time, too.

HANK:Plus, Jonathan does the laundry and we get a LOT of take out food.

And although some days are SO BUSY I can barely think straight…all in all it’s so wonderful it brings tears to my eyes.

JAN: Come back tomorrow when debut thriller writer James Hayman , author of The Cutting, will be talking the strategies of reclusive writing.



!

IT'S TIME FOR

AIR TIME!
Book three in the Charlotte McNally Mysteries

Hank is hijacking Jungle Red today.

To say thank you.

We've done almost 400 posts at Jungle Red. Which just takes my breath away.

When we started, several years ago! I was a new new author, stepping my toe into uncharted waters and one hundred per cent clueless.

Lots of good things happened. Lots of not-so-good, too, but by far-the wonderful outweighed the weird.

And now, today, my third book hits the bookstores.

Here's what's important:

Thank you thank you thank you.

And now, it's time for

AIR TIME.

"Sassy, fast-paced, and appealing. This is first-class entertainment."
—Sue Grafton

"Loved it! Smart, funny, fresh, intriguing and thoroughly
entertaining—I highly recommend this series."
—Suzanne Brockmann

It's never a good thing when the flight attendant is crying.

That's the first line of AIR TIME! And this newest adventure takes reporter Charlotte McNally undercover and carrying a hidden camera to investigate the high-stakes world of high fashion and counterfeit couture—and the secret back rooms of big-city airports. Someone is ripping off the valuable original designs of one of the industry's most prestigious lines and selling counterfeit merchandise as the real thing. Turns out "faking it" is the pathway to multi-million dollar profits. Charlie goes undercover to uncover who's trading secrets about trade secrets, and soon discovers when the purses are fake—the danger is real.

But going undercover is not her only dilemma—how about under the covers? Charlie's long been married to her career, but now, at 47, there's a man in her life. Is he—finally—"the one?" Personally as well as professionally: how can she tell the real thing?

Wait a minute, I hear you saying. You're a reporter, Hank. And you've gone undercover a million times. And you're probably carrying a hidden camera right now.

Fine. I admit it. It's been there, done that. After 30 years in TV—I've had some real life adventures of my own.

But as a mystery author, I'm always wondering—what if. And I began to imagine the fascinating possibilities in designer duplicates. One of the things I love to do in my novels is take something that's familiar and give it a twist or two that turns it into something unexpected and unpredictable. Because I already knew the inside scoop—that helped me create a truly workable scheme for my fictional crooks. (I can tell you, when I revealed it to law enforcement sources, they sheepishly admitted my plan was completely plausible!).

"Hank had me from the first line. In her latest addictive page-turner AIR TIME, real-life TV reporter Hank Phillippi Ryan once again thrills us with her terrific counterpart, investigative reporter Charlotte McNally. AIR TIME isn't only exciting and sexy and even funny—it's also damned well written."
—David Morrell, Founding co-president International Thriller Writers


AIR TIME is on the cover of the all-new RT BookReviews Magazine! So look for that at your local bookstore... or hey, subscribe!

And watch for an article on my real life adventures undercover in the next issue of Mystery Scene Magazine. (Or hey, subscribe!)


"The most fun I've had reading in a long time. Hank Phillippi Ryan has given us one of the best heroines to emerge in a long while, and her stories zip along as fast as news bulletins. AIR TIME is a fun, fast read with a heroine who's sexy, stylish, and smart. I loved it."
—Nancy Pickard


"AIR TIME is a thrill ride from the first page to the last. This story will tickle your funnybone and touch your heart. Hank Phillippi Ryan is a fabulous new talent."
—Susan Wiggs

"Excellent! Hank Phillippi Ryan knows how to create characters that come to life and capture your heart. Don't miss this engrossing story."
—Brenda Novak

EVENTS

I do hope you'll join me at one—or all!—of the AIR TIME events we have planned. There'll be goodies, discount coupons, and lots of surprises!

First—I'll be debuting the new AIR TIME at Borders at Boston's Downtown Crossing on Tuesday, August 25, 12-2.

Thursday, August 27, I'll be at Boston's Logan Airport Borders Books—in Terminal A from 2:30-5:30. (Get it? AIR TIME?)

Friday, August 28, starting at noon I'll be at Barnes & Noble at the Boston's famed Prudential Center.

And from 5-7 pm at BORDERS Boston/Back Bay.

Saturday, August 29 from 10-12 (so you can stop by, pick up your books, and then head off to the beach!) I'll be at the amazing Tatnuck Books in Westboro, Massachusetts.

Check the EVENTS page on my website for all the appearances I'll be making around Boston and New England (I hope there's one in your neighborhood!), and at your favorite mystery bookstores across the country—more are posted every week!

There's a special event (with lots of special treats!) at The Mystery Company in Carmel, Indiana on September 11 at 7pm, and lots more that weekend in INDY! Check my schedule for details.

And want an autographed AIR TIME with free first-class shipping? No problem. The mavens at Mystery Lovers Bookstore in Oakmont, PA have specially arranged to provide that for you! Just click here. (And check out their ultra-special offer! All three of the TIME opening trilogy—with a special limited edition bookbag!)

Finally, my deepest appreciation for all your enthusiasm. I'm still on the job at Channel 7 in Boston—and loving it. That's a fact. But this new step into fiction is so exciting and rewarding—I'm delighted to be able to share it with you.

With much gratitude

Hank

Oh wait!

IN CASE YOU MISSED IT!

Though the Charlotte McNally novels are a series, each can stand on its own. The Agatha-winning PRIME TIME (in bookstores now) is your introduction! Here, Charlie suspects some of that spam clogging her computer is really hiding secret messages! It's a chock full of cliffhangers—with such a workable scheme you'll wonder why someone hasn't tired it.

"...a wonderful mystery...The author juggles plot and character
very deftly with Charlie emerging as one of the
wittiest and brightest protagonists in current crime fiction."
—Joe Meyers, Connecticut News

And FACE TIME, book two, (also in bookstores now!) Charlie learns she must get beneath the exterior—of a face, of a relationship, of a photograph—to discover what she really values: justice, her journalistic reputation, the extraordinary bond between mothers and daughters, and true love. Sara Paretsky calls it "a gripping thriller, with a important story line and a heroine we can root for."

But wait, there's more! Did you make it this far in the blog? Then yay, you may be rewarded. Just leave a comment. (Because we're talking about AIR TIME, tell us about how often your luggage gets lost. Or whether you've ever purchased a knock-off purse. Or, hey, just say hello.)

And we'll choose three random winners! To each, I'll send a signed copy of PRIME TIME, FACE TIME or AIR TIME. (Or if you choose--a signed copy of any of the Jungle Red Writers' mysteries!)

Thanks, everyone. (Tomorrow, we return to our usual programming with book promotion genius Megan Kelley Hall.)

YOU NEVER KNOW DAY

Journeys end in lovers meeting,

Every wise man’s son doth know.
**********Twelfth Night. Act ii. Sc. 3.

HANK: This vacation time of year, my thoughts turn to love and travel. Why? Because just this time of year, 14 years ago, I met Jonathan.

I had been invited to share a house with a group of friends in Nantucket. I was six months (or more?) out of a deadend reationship (another story) and said--no thanks. And then I reconsidered. Of course, why not go? So I packed up my books and my bike and my tennis racket, and headed to Nantucket on the ferry.I was so--unready to meet someone, I didn't even bring any makeup. (I will pause while you howl with laughter.)

Meanwhile, unbeknownst to me, another person sharing the house had invited Jonathan. And the other person didn't know I was coming.

I arrived from Boston. Jonathan arrived from Boston. I took one look and thought--yikes, get me to drug store make-up counter. (I didn't go, by the way. I thought--this is me. Take it or leave it.)

We haven't been apart since then.

But we don't celebrate the anniversary of the day we met. Every year, we celebrate the anniversary of the day BEFORE we met. We call it "You Never Know Day." Because you never know what wonderful thing is just around the corner.

How did you meet your true love? By chance, by choice, by fix-up, by proximity? And how do you know it was the real thing?

JAN: Although my older brother and I hung around a lot together, when I followed him up to Boston University he told me not to expect to hang out with his college friends. I had to make my own friends.

A year later, he decided that he really didn't like my friends, especially not my boyfriend, who he claimed spoke in "monologues." So he fixed me up with one of his friends, Bill. He didn't tell me he was fixing me up, he just brought Bill back to his apartment one night when I was there cooking him dinner, and we went to a party afterward, Then he pressured Bill until he called and asked for a date. And yes, I knew immediately it was the real thing.

My brother passed away young - at 26-years old. Ironically, since I stayed in Boston, I've spent my entire life hanging out with his college friends.

HALLIE: Mine was a fix-up too. I was a junior at Barnard when I ran into an ex-boyfriend on the corner of Broadway and 116th Street. He asked how I was and I said "fine." In truth I was between men but this ex was an extremely odd duck and I didn't want to give him any ideas. He must have been far more perceptive than I gave him credit for, because a few hours later I got a call from his roommate inviting me to a college hockey game. I went and had a great time. Took me a lot longer than my husband to realize it was "the real thing." But 40+ years later I'm utterly convinced.

ROBERTA: Sorry to hear you lost your brother so young Jan--sounds like he was the best kind of friend! I met John at a singles tennis night at the racquet club in the next town. We got matched up for mixed doubles and had a good time. But when he called to ask for a movie date, I couldn't remember who he was. (I attribute that to being blinded by my infatuation with an inappropriate guy who was quite enamored of himself.) After about six months of playing doubles with John (as friends), I began to realize just how special he was. So I invited him to dinner one night. "Who's coming?" he asked. "You," I said. And we've been together ever since.

HANK: Aw, Roberta, that's so sweet.

RO: Well, I knew right away Bruce was the one. He took a little convincing though. To the tune of 13 years before we actually got married. He was the boss when we first met, and um, otherwise engaged. I left the company and got on with my life and then we hooked up again in - of all places - Las Vegas, where we were both attending a video convention. At a show filled with fading B actors, wrestlers and adult movie stars, we were two of the more normal people there. It was fate. Then we dated for 10 years. (Why rush into anything?)

HANK: I was at a signing the other night--talking about AIR TIME (on sale tomorrow, whoo hoo, stop by here then to hear more and WIN BOOKS!).

Anyway, in AIR TIME Charlotte McNally has to decide if she's found the real thing--both in her reporter life (tracking down the source of phony designer purses), and in love. (And in the dedication: flight attendants.)

A woman came up to me afterwards, and told the story of how she'd always always always known she wanted to be a flight attendant. She got the job, passed the tests, and boarded for her first flight. And sitting in seat whatever--turned out to be the man she later married. And they just celebrated their twenty-fifth.

You never know.

How about you all?

(A big week coming on Jungle Red: Tuesday, big contest! Wednesday, Megan Kelley Hall with the secrets of promotion. Thursday, Marilyn Brant on seeing mystery authors as others see us. And Friday, coolest of the cool Seth Harwood!)

Julie and Julia and Jungle Red

HALLIE: Last week I went to see "Julie and Julia," which I would have gone to see even if it weren’t my sister Nora’s movie. It was lovely and sweet—and Meryl Streep IS Julia Child.

Which led me to drag out my copy of “Mastering the Art of French Cooking”--my copy is a 1967 edition, 15th printing, and is inscribed from friends of my parents on May 11, 1969. A wedding present.

My husband and I used to meet every few months with friends and, in advance, come up with a menu that involved each guest making a single dish that took as long as a normal single meal to prepare. Needless to say, lots of our recipes came from Julia. It's easy to see which, because those pages are warped and stained and the margins are scribbled in.

All in all, I made it through about 34 recipes--nowhere near Julie Powell's record setting mastery of all 524. But still.

Standouts were Onion soup (start by roasting bones for broth). Soup au Pistou (an incredible concoction made with zucchini and fresh peas, cooked with lots of garlic and run through a hand mill). Duck a l'Orange and Creme Caramel. And the extraordinary and extraordinarily expensive Tournedos Rossini (filet mignon, home cooked artichoke hearts, truffles, a slab of foie gras, and a Madeira sauce--Oh, baby!) Every recipe had a meltdown moment…as when the duck flew off teh platter on the way to the table or when I renverséd the crème caramel all over the kitchen counter.

Still, I can’t remember a single dish that failed, though Lobster Thermidor did not seem worth the trouble when compared to how delicious a plain old boiled lobster with drawn butter can be.

Have you cooked Julia or are your culinary triumphs more of the Galloping Gourmet variety…or are we talking green been casserole with mushroom soup and canned onion rings?

RHYS: I too used to belong to a supper club for which we had to prepare one dish. And Tournedos Rossini was the first reeeely expensive dish I ordered as an adult. And it was worth it! We used to entertain a lot and I was always trying out new recipes for guests (much to John's horror when I hadn't tested them first) My only spectacular failure was a turbon of sole, stuffed with shrimp and crab. When I turned it out, it collapsed into a nasty pink mess. I had to make a hasty sauce to cover it!

I believe that Julia herself once threw a duck across the kitchen on the way to the table, didn't she? That was why she was so popular--she was so human and really enjoyed every part of the cooking and the eating. I once had an important meeting with the head of my publishing house and the head of marketing back in the days when I wrote YA books. Julia Child and husband were at the next table and I sat almost touching her. All my table-mates wanted to know was what she was eating next. I remember she started with a dozen oysters. And she never shrank from using the butter. My kind of lady!

HALLIE: Oh, gosh, elbow to elbow! I'm jealous. My friend, chef Lora Brody, actually COOKED for Julia once. I can only imagine how nerve wracking that would have been.

JAN: I remember making a stuffed roast after watching a Julia Child episode. It was very complicated, delicious, but very rich. Although I love to cook, I usually avoid recipes that involve too many steps or too many ingredients I have to go to special stores to find.

Tonight I'm throwing a dinner party and all the recipes center around the herbs in my garden, starting with a melon sald with cilantro and fresh mint.

I spotted Julia Childs once, though, at a WGBH Wine tasting fundraiser. It was very exciting. I think she waved.

HALLIE: I also have a garden full of fresh herbs like now, and in honor of same have become an expert at making mojitos.

HANK: Oh, I've made that onion soup. Fantastic. But you know what I learned from her? Very important. Before you start a recipe, read the whole thing, and sort of--imagine how it's going to work and what you need to do in advance. There's nothing like making, say, lasagne, and then getting to the part of the recipe where it says: "add marinara sauce, see p. 233." Ahhh....

And my copy is newer, the 23rd printing from March, 1973. (The onion soup page is a crinkly mess! So is the page for souffle a la vanille.) And I just reread the first line of the foreward: "This is a book for the servantless American cook who can be unconcerned on occasion with budgets ,waitlines, time schedules..."

Hilarious.

HALLIE: Culinary triumphs? Please...dish!

On Secret Languages

Letter from Aix-en-Provence

JAN: When I was a kid, I loved secret languages. My friend Karen had older sisters who taught them to us. There was one language that involved adding "ub" or "ubba" between the syllables. As in Jungubbalububba Redubba writubbaters. Or something like that. All that mattered was it sounded incredibly exotic and your best friend could understand you in the playground. Better yet, you could talk about boys when they were right there, and they never got it. Boys didn’t go in much for secret languages.

That quickly gave way to Pig Latin, which was a more highly respected and widely understood secret language. You had to be more careful in your usuage, but there was the possibility of an older junior high school student actually picking up on something you said and responding to you in your oh-so-in-crowd special code.

When I got to high school, I quickly fell in love with first year French, which was so pretty and way more exotic than Pig Latin. Had Cinderella originally been from France and spoken to her fairy godmother in French? I was pretty sure she had.

But French was a hell of a lot harder to speak and understand. And the challenge was on. I wound up taking eight years of French, minoring in it in college and did a semester abroad in Aix-en-Provence. Although I work hard to try to keep up on my French via Pimsleur and Rosetta Stone, I’m still pretty much a piker. But God knows, I try.

Which is why I’m back in Aix-En-Provence for a month, living in a condo, and shopping at the Monoprix and the market, which requires more use of French than staying at a hotel where the concierge can step in and help. Last week, my daughter and I went to the market to buy ingredients we were making for a special dinner that night. We bought cheeses, which I promptly put down when I went to another vendor and searched through my wallet for five euros to buy sunflowers.

By the time I got home, realized I didn’t have the cheeses and ran back to the square, the market stalls were down, the garbage trucks had rolled in, and everyone was cleaning up. I raced back to the cheese guy to see if I could buy more cheese. To get him to reopen his stall and sell me some, I had to explain what I’d done.

J’ai perdu mon sac du fromage quand j’ai achete des fleurs, I told him. This also included a lot of hand gesturing to both indicate where the sunflower vendor had been and that I was clearly a space shot (finger pointed to head with roll of the eyes and shrug).

Not only did he open to sell me the cheese, he gave me a one Euro discount because he felt sorry for me.

And I thought, my God, the SECRET LANGUAGE WORKS.

I realize that on some level, I think that every time I say anything to anyone in French and they understand and respond. There is always this rush of both surprise and excitement that these exotic words I’ve strung together form a sentence that can be decoded.

It's why I spent all that money on airfare. And well worth every penny.

So I think, that the thrills in life haven’t changed much for me since I was a kid in the playground, only in France, I’ve noticed that the crowd "in" on the decoding is pretty signficant. And you have to watch what you say -- and not just to the junior high schoolers. All the boys are in on the secret language, too.

(Do you remember any secret languages from elementary and junior high school? Apparently, it's a regional thing with Ubba Dubba in the Northeast and Gibberish in the South. Gungi was spoken in Waltham, MA and Opish in New York City.)

Do you want to know a secret?

Okay...it's not really a secret.

We were planning to post something else today..an interview that will happen, we promise, sometime next month, but we can't let another day go by without a big shout out here to Hank. Her Agatha Award-winning debut novel, Prime Time is finally FINALLY available again - and everywhere - from Mira Books.

PRIME TIME introduces forty-something investigative reporter Charlotte (Charlie) McNally. Charlie's smart, savvy and successful—but she's worried her news director is about to replace her with a younger model. Now—she's on the hunt for the story that will save her job. Is it hiding in her email? Charlie begins to suspect some of that annoying Spam clogging her computer is more than cyber junk. She discovers it actually carries big-money secret messages to the big-shot insiders who know how to decode it. Problem is, the last outsider who deciphered the system now resides in the local morgue. It's either the biggest story of Charlie's career—or the one that may end her life. Charlie's also facing another dilemma: what happens when a top-notch TV reporter is married to her job—but the camera doesn't love her anymore?

It's an action-filled page-turner, with humor, romance and a scheme so timely and innovative you'll wonder why someone hasn't tried it. A twist of an ending will have readers going back to the beginning to check for all the clues they missed.

I was lucky enough to have read it when it was first available (that's the old cover below but check out the slick new look on the right)and I'll join the chorus of raves.

New York Times bestselling author Mary Jane Clark's kudos: "Current, clever, and chock full of cliffhangers. Readers are in for a treat."

Award winning author Harley Jane Kozak says it's "a great read" written with "quick wit, crackling pace and been-there-done-that credentials."

Page Traynor of RT Book Reviews gave Prime Time the highest possible rating—four and a half stars, awarding it the coveted TOP PICK. She says: "This book has humor, snappy language, danger and a wonderful mystery that will keep you guessing. Prime Time has the perfect combination of mystery and romance."

Way to go, Hank!!

Thursday's guest hunks

While we're in between our author guest hunks, we thought you'd enjoy a visit from our private fellas. These are the guys who bring us coffee in the morning, attend book events, laugh at our jokes, and generally Make Life Worth Living! In order of appearance, here are Roberta's John, Jan's Bill, Rhys's John, and Hank's Jonathan. (Missing but not forgotten are Hallie and Ro's guys.) Aren't they adorable?

Becoming the First Lady

ROBERTA: I'm a big fan of Michelle Obama: I think she handled the campaign and the transition to the White House with grace and style. She gave up a big job to support Barack even though I'm certain she's smart enough to become the president herself. I totally love what she's doing on the White House grounds: starting a garden and talking about diet and health. (Although I didn't see tomatoes on the garden plan, and certainly not okra!) She wears what she wants (including no sleeves) and she looks good doing it. She's firm but loving with her kids, and a terrific role model for disadvantaged kids, and god knows she must have a good relationship with her own mother since they'll be living together for four years. And she's gained a lot of points with the public by supporting military families.

I'm pretty sure this question would be considered non-PC, but I'm going for it anyway. If you were going to serve as the first lady (first man if you're in Bill Clinton's shoes), what agenda would you push? What would be your strong points and your pitfalls?

JAN: I'd give some great parties. I'd really be into the nice clothes. Oh, and was there something else??? Oh right, public service. I'd like to deal with hunger and homelessness because in my mind, that's where you have to start. Oh, and I'd also be a real nag about the deficit.

HANK: It could be kind of fun. You could jab your husband with an elbow, and say--hey. Do we really need another one of those Trident missiles?

RHYS: My big problem would be having to be gracious to politicians, including foreign politicians whose agenda was repugnant to me. My agenda--although I feel passionately about health care reform I'd learn from what happened to Hilary Clinton. The First Lady is not an elected official. Her role is to lead by example. I think I'd try to be green, to encourage educational excellence and discourage waste. I'd like to step in and stop government pork, but I'd probably have to grit my teeth and shut up about that.

HALLIE: I'd be a lousy first lady. I'd be early Hilary and put my foot in my mouth about chocolate chip cookies. I'd probably have to be sent to charm school. And then I guess I'd devote myself to encouraging people to consume less and give more back, to make the common good everyone's priority. Wall Street would hate me.

ROBERTA: That would fun for us, Hallie! All the reporters could buzz Jungle Red Writers trying to find out about the real Hallie--and can't her husband put a lid on her? And we'd have to say, nope, what you see is what you get--and we love it that way!

HALLIE: Thanks, Roberta. I'd probably come out in favor of kind words. It's amazing how a few of those can turn around a day.

HANK: I'd be big on libraries. Early education. After-school programs. Self-esteem for pre-teens. And history. Somehow, when kids learn about the past, like a story--they care more about the present and the future. Plus, I could handle the press corps. Some of those questions in news conferences--puh-leeze. When the question is longer than the answer, you've got an ego problem. As First Lady, I could put a stop to all that.

ROBERTA: And if I was the First Lady, I'd definitely want you as my press secretary Hank!

RHYS: I hadn't thought about the clothes. It would be great to decide what "My look" would be and then have designers fighting to produce it for me, rather than cruising the sales and seeing what Ralph Lauren has at fifty percent off! Oh, and I'd love to choose the First dog!

RO: I'd probably just want to stay out of the way and let the guy they elected do his job, but I suppose that's not realistic. First ladies always take these risky stands - "I'm for children! Literacy!" Who's not?
I'd be the first lady who converted all the government cars to fatwagons... running on waste vegetable oil. Of course not having converted my own, I'd have to learn how to do it first. And they do tend to smell like onion rings..but that's okay.

Pile on, JR readers. What would your time in the White House be like? (Photo credits to Army.mil and sskennel)

ON Queries about Queries

Yeah, it's one of the things you don't find out til later.

You've written a wonderful book, a marvelous book, and you're getting ready to write the cool acknowledgment page and sign up for an author photo.

Waaaait a minit. First you've got to get an agent. THAT you know. And to snag your perfect agent, you suddenly find out need to write a query letter. A--sales pitch. That perfectly (but briefly) describes you and your book so irresisitibly that you'll have agent offers filling your email and mailbox.

The query letter. In the annals of writing, it goes down with the dreaded synopsis as the scourge.

But hey--we've snagged Wendy Burt Thomas. She has a new book that'll answer it all for us. It's called: The Writers Digest Guide to Query Letters.
(And its not just for novels--it's got info on non-fiction, and short stories, and magazines.)

And we're getting a sneak peek.

HANK: Query letters. We all cringe. How make-or-break is a query letter to an aspiring author's career?

WENDY: Breaking into the publishing world is hard enough right now. Unless you have a serious "in" of some kind, you really need a great query letter to impress an agent or acquisitions editor.

Essentially, your query letter is your first impression. If they like your idea (and voice and writing style and background), they'll either request a proposal, sample chapters, or the entire manuscript. If they don't like your query letter, you've got to pitch it to another agency/publisher. Unlike a manuscript, which can be edited or reworked if an editor thinks it has promise, you only get one shot with your query.

I see a lot of authors who spend months (or years) finishing their book, only to rush through the process of crafting a good, solid query letter. What a waste! If agents/editors turn you down based on a bad query letter, you've blown your chance of getting them to read your manuscript.

It could be the next bestseller, but they'll never see it. My advice is to put as much effort into your query as you did your book. If it's not fabulous, don't send it until it is.

HANK: You know, my first query letter, which I loved, got no no no no from every agent I sent it to. It focused on the main character. The second one--which was about exactly the same book--focused on the plot hook. I think I only changed the first paragraph. And everyone said yes. It was the same book! How do you know you've got it right?


WENDY: That's a tough one. There are a few things that will help your chances of landing an agent. First, make sure your book idea is a match for the agencies you're pitching. Research some of the most recent books the agency represented.


Were they action-oriented (e.g. plot-driven) or character-driven? Your query will need to whet the agent's appetite based on his/her taste - and what they think your book will be about. If your book is plot-driven but your query focuses on sketching out the character, they'll likely get the wrong idea.


Second, learn from the feedback you get. Even rejections can be helpful - and get you closer to an acceptance. If all the agents are saying they like the character but not the fact that you set it in the 1980s, you might need to change that in your query - and manuscript. If they all simply say, "no thanks" without any feedback, it's probably a sign that you need to revise your query (and/or manuscript).


Thirdly, if you get a lot of positive responses ("Great concept - just not a fit for our agency") then don't give up. I think my co-author and I queried 30 or 40 agencies before we got an offer of representation on our first book. I see too many authors give up after trying only 10 or 12 agents.




HANK: What's the biggest lesson you've learned as a full-time writer?



WENDY: Seize every opportunity - especially when you first start writing. I remember telling someone about a really high-paying writing gig I got and he said, "Wow. You have the best luck!" I thought, "Luck has nothing to do with it! I've worked hard to get where I am."




Later that week I read this great quote: "Luck is when preparation meets opportunity." It's absolutely true. And writing queries is only about luck in this sense. If you're prepared with a good query and/or manuscript, when the opportunity comes along you'll be successful.



HANK: Okay, who wrote the bad letters? Do tell.



WENDY: I did! And that was such fun. I've read - and written! - so many horrible ones over the years that it was a little too easy to craft them. But misery loves company and we ALL love to read really bad query letters, right?


HANK: But--there are all these rules.One page. Your own voice. Big hook. Your platform. And then the final rule is--be natural. Ahhhhh...what should writers know?


WENDY: I want them to remember that writing is fun. Sometimes new writers get so caught up in the procedures that they lose their original voice in a query. Don't bury your style under formalities and to-the-letter formatting.



HANK: Full disclosure--my query letter is in this book! And it was really fun to see it. (I didn't let Wendy get her hands on the one that tanked.)


Wendy graciously says she'll come chat and answer your questions! So maybe she can give you some guidance.


And Jungle Red is giving away two copies of TWDGTQL to commenters we'll choose at random.


So ask away--and maybe you'll win answers to ALL your questions!

And how does your query letter start? Published authors--we'd love to know! Yet-to-be-published--have you figured that out yet?

(Thanks to Epicurienne for the typewriter photo!)

Facing our darkest fears

HALLIE: At last, "Never Tell a Lie" is published. I labored over that sucker for nearly three years, so now when people tell me "I couldn't put it down! I finished it in three hours!!" I have distinctly mixed feelings.

The idea for the book came to me, innocuously enough, at a yard sale. Just like the yard sale that opens the novel, it was at a big Victorian house around the corner from me. New owners had painted the outside mauve and purple. I was dying to know what they'd done to the interior, so I peppered the poor woman throwing the yard sale with a million questions.

Finally, probably as much to get rid of me as anything else, she said, "Would you like to go inside and look around?" She pointed the side door. "Let yourself in."

I did. Inside, there was a brand new kitchen. Upstairs, the bedrooms were straight out of House Beautiful. As I started up to the third floor, the mystery writer in me kicked in and I thought: What if a woman goes to a yard sale and somehow she manages to talk her way into the house? She goes inside. . . and she never comes out.

Thoroughly spooked, I bolted down three flights and out the door.

Have you ever been spooked by a thought that turned an everyday situation sinister?

HANK: OH. Constantly. Daily. It's a sickness. Even that, you know? I'll cough, and then think--what if this is the beginnning of the plague, and I have it and... And suddenly, I'm in The Stand.

Jonathan goes out to get the paper. It's just at the end of the driveway. "Be careful!" I always tell him. "Of WHAT?" he says. It's potentially dangerous, in my mind. In his, it isn't. What if the people handing out free food samples at the mall are really terrorists, and the food is poisoned? (Actually, I may use that in a book so forget you read it.) And I completely got PTSD after seeing the movie "The Dark Knight." I was clutching Jonathan all the way to the car, terrifed someone/something was going to leap out of the darkness.

I may have seen too much TV news.

HALLIE: LOL. That's gotta be it.

Not sure why but that reminds me of once when I was walking with my daughter and we were playing "what's that thing" (pick up a small scrap of trash from the street and try to guess what it was part of)...and I picked up a red plastic tab that said "DO NOT REMOVE." Where's CSI when you need 'em.

HANK: I still have a little red ticket from a sweepstakes drawing that says "Keep this ticket." So hey, I kept it. Because what terrible thing might happen if I don't?

RHYS: Congrats on the new book, Hallie. As you say, this is one of the pitfalls of being a mystery writer. The brain switches so easily to "what if?" And we have trained ourselves to act on that what if. A snippet of overheard conversation becomes sinister, a stranger lurking on the corner becomes a potential ax murderer... And I've always been afraid of the dark. I grew up in a big spooky house that I was sure was haunted. The wind used to make the rug outside my bedroom door flap up and down and sometimes windows opened on their own. When I talked about this to my brother, years later, he replied, "of course it was haunted." So I'd never go up three flights of stairs in a purple-painted house.

RO: Oooh, as a diehard yard sale fan, I'll never be able to go to one again and walk up those stairs to where I've been assured "the good stuff" is. Even if the house isn't purple. That's my idea of something really scary, the everyday thing that turns into a nightmare. I mean, who's going to be fooled by a drooling 7-ft stranger with tattoos and an eyepatch? Just run...no story.

My sort-of-scary moments occur whenever I'm on a driving trip and I have to use the facilities - or buy a can of diet red bull- at a gas station. It's not the toilet that scares me (Dr. Roberta...you hear that?)Ever see The Vanishing or Breakdown? Yikes. It crosses my mind every time I stop in one of those remote service stations.

HANK: Oh. The Vanishing (the Dutch one) is the scariest movie I've ever seen. Ever. I almost wish I hadn't see it.

ROBERTA: Ro, I'm not worried about the toilet, I'm worried about the diet Red Bull!:) Hallie, big congratulations! So excited to see your book on the shelves! And what I've learned from the tag sale story is to never, ever, let a stranger into the house, even if she SEEMS like a nice, nosy middle-aged lady. Maybe especially that. I too see danger and plot twists everywhere. It's kind of exhausting, isn't it?

HALLIE: What about never ever GO INTO a house, no matter how hunky the man is who invites you in to "have a look around."

JAN: Wow, was it really three years, Hallie? It seemed like that book flew off your computer!! Congratulations on its release and the many terrific reviews.

When I was still dealing with my plane phobia (now conquered!!) I once had a cognitive behavioral therapist tell me that my problem was I had too much imagination and I applied it to EVERYTHING. That probably applies to all of us!

For me, it really was the toilet.... but not the germs. It all started as a small child, when I convinced myself there was a monster in it. I used to open the door, flush the toilet and run like hell. Sometimes when I go to lock the garage door at night, I'll let in the thought... what if someone was in the garage just waiting.... and I get that full body fear thrill people go to the movies for. But I've spent a lot of energy trying to NOT let those thoughts in my head, and I think it's net gain.

HALLIE: My daughter used to be afraid of squirrels, so I'd send her out with a can of Lysol (AKA magic squirrel repellant) to protect her on her Hot Wheels.

So, is your monster in the toilet? Or in your attic? Or up a tree and hopefully staying where it belongs? (Hopefully not in your bookstore where I hope you are ALL headed.)

Please join the conversation. We're dying to know.

Happy Holidays from Jungle Red Writers

(With apologies and appreciation to Clement Moore...and maybe Dr. Seuss.)

Twas the week before New Years'
And all through this site
Not a blogger was working
Not even to write.

Our books are all saved on our thumb drives with care
In hopes that bestseller lists soon would be there.
Our new novels were nestled all snug in their beds
While visions of royalties danced in our heads.

The Jungle Red sisters, five east and one west
Had just settled our brains for a well-deserved rest.

When in PW’s pages--There arose such a clatter
We opened the mag to see what was the matter!

To the review pages we turned in a flash
To see Hallie and Jan both praised with panache!

The bookstores were loving “A for M’ by our Ro
And Rosemary’s gardener continued to grow!

And what to our wondering eyes should appear
Rhys and Hank pubbing new ones—and early next year!

But what makes us the happiest—keeps every day new?
We knew in a moment—it’s our blogging crew!

You listen, you chatter, you join in the game
We cheer you, we love you, we call you by name!


Thanks, Laura! Thanks Edith! Thanks Becky and Lee!
Thanks Michael, Susannah and S. Con-no-lly!

We love Maddy, and Rhonda, Felicia and Clare
We hope Amy and JB will always be there

To June and to Karen, to Marianne, too
Love to Janet. And Mo. And to Peter. (He’s new.)

Our guest bloggers were stellar
Chris! Mary! La Barnes?!
To the Paulas, and Maddee, and the fab Cathy Cairns.

To Jane, Gin and Charlaine (queen of the LIST!)
To the Femmes and to Lipstick--consider you're kissed.

Christina! Elizabeth! Alex! Michelle!
Hail “Anonymous” too—your comments are swell.

We had memories, recipes, tales of our youth
We’ve had jokes, and disasters, and telling the truth.

To the top of the lists! To the top of them all!
We’re revising, and writing, and sharing our call!

As dry words before our reviser’s pen fly
When they meet with cliché, and we fix them (we try):

We’ve landed at New Years, and our thoughts go to you
May you read perfect books, may your wishes come true!

May you waste not a word, may you write fresh and new
And fill all your stories with mysteries and clues

And remember: on days that things don’t turn out right
And you wonder if this was a fraud and a fright

You have sisters on line—there are six of us here!
And each one is wishing you all-the-year cheer.

And we all say—we love you! ‘Fore you click from our site--

Happy New Year to All

—and long may you Write!

On TEASER, the murder mystery

JRW: We can't resist. We want to interview our own Jan! (Here's a special photo of her.)

Teaser is out officially--today! (And here's the cover!) Congratulations. It's so scary, and such a cautionary tale. Just tell us a bit about it.

JAN: Thanks Hank! Teaser is about social networking going horribly wrong. Hallie (the fictional Hallie, my main character. Not our Hallie.) comes across a provocative video clip when she's trolling a chatroom and realizes the young teens are local. She convinces her editors that she's got a great story, a story parents need to hear. Her investigation leads her to some very dark places, and when girls start dying, it becomes a personal crusade -- especially when she loses the newspaper's support.



JRW: How did you decide to write about teenagers on-line?

JAN: Well first of all, I was a difficult teenager who did a lot of stupid things. I actually used to hitch hike just to meet guys and had to bolt from the car more than once. So I feel like I relate to teenagers and understand how easily it is for them to lie and to ignore their parent's warnings. In raising my own teenagers, I began to view the Internet as a sewer pipe, something that could pump really bad stuff into my own home.

JRW: Your four-star review from Romantic Times said TEASER could be ripped from the headlines...is it based on reality?

JAN: It was definitely inspired by two headlines. The first was in Rhode Island, when two young teenage girls posted naked pictures of themselves on MySpace. The attorney general's office did not consider this a teenage whim. These girls were prosecuted for child pornography. Also the Justin Berry series in The New York Times alerted me to how kids could get in really big trouble with a webcam.

JRW: As a parent....does it give you chills? What do you think parents don't know?

JAN: Although I know the Internet is incredibly useful, much of its traffic and revenues are driven by pornography and I think parents should understand that. There is an overwhelming U.S. demand for pornography that contributes to the internationl sex slave trade. And I think exposure all our kids are getting to pornography is changing the culture.

I think parents don't know how vulnerable teenagers are, especially around 13 and 14 years old. Or how lonely for attention or acceptance they can be.

And it was an eye opener for me to learn how adept and patient sexual predators can be at grooming kids on line. They take very small steps, the process is so incremental, it can seem non-threatening to a kid. I really don't think parents should allow teens, especially young teens, laptops behind closed doors.

JRW: This is the third Hallie Ahern mystery--was this one different to write?

JAN: It was a little different in that the teenage characters came easily to me. I didn't fuss quite as much with this book. The odd thing was I didn't think I dwelled as much on Hallie's gambling addiction in this book, but every reviewer seemed to note it more here than in earlier titles.

JRW: Your video is so...edgy. Here's the link, for anyone who hasn't seen it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BJNye1b1FIM
What did you think when you met the "real" Hallie? And the "real" girls?
And hmmm....didn't we see a secret actress in one scene?

JAN: It was such a thrill to have my characters come to life. I walked around in a cloud for days afterward. And I felt strangely maternal about the actresses. I was oddly proud that Hallie was so pretty -- as if she were my daughter. They were so much my characters that I had the hardest time calling them by their real names. Jaime, Gillian and Alma. They were all terrific actresses. And about that secret actress -- I have no idea where she came from!

JRW: And now-- The BIG LIE! Tell us four things about yourself--only three can be true! And we'll try to guess which one is a lie...

JAN: Wow, I FINALLY get to play the Jungle Red game!! And you know what?? it's a lot harder than I'd imagined.

I tapped dance before an audience on stage when I was nine-months pregnant
George Harrison was my favorite Beatle
My great, great, great grandfather was a guard in the Tower of England
I'm part Native American

On scrimping

"We can tell our values by looking at our checkbook stubs." --Gloria Steinem

JAN: My mother, were she still alive, would have an awesome carbon footprint.
Although she had a dishwasher, she preferred to handwash dishes because it used less energy. She was okay with the washing machine, because it was gas fueled, but spurned the dryer, because it was electric. She hung clothes to dry outside in good weather, and in the basement otherwise.

She also recycled religiously because she couldn't stand the idea of anything being wasted. Once she yelled at me for pouring a leftover pot of boiling water down the drain. "You could let that cool and it could go on the plants, you know."

But my mother wasn't green. And God knows she wasn't politically correct. What she was, was a child of the depression. She was forever telling stories of having to wash the floor in her father's bar with a scrub brush, and the economies of sewing her own clothes.

So each night as I hear some new dire economic prediction on Kudlow and Company or Charlie Rose, I wonder, will we all learn to scrimp and save? I've already cut out the gym and lowered my thermostat. But more importantly, could that scrimping and saving be a good thing for us all, benefiting the culture and the planet in ways we couldn't predict?

HALLIE: Learn? I've always been green. AKA cheap.
Call me what you will, I have rarely buy paper towels or plastic wrap. Dish towels work. I mortified my kids by wrapping their peanut butter sandwiches in wax paper (not made of petroleum). Store leftovers in bowls with plates for lids. Compost organic waste. And of course nowadays I bring my own cloth bags to the grocery store.
We also eat a lot of beans--white, kidney, black.... Still a great bargain and very healthy.
And...tah dah...I used cloth diapers for both kids!

HANK: Yes, I remember asking you, Hallie, for a paper towel. And got a nice cloth instead.
Today I took back a container of fruit to the grocery store. The berries had gone bad, gray and fuzzy, in two days, and that meant the fruit was old when it was sold. In the past, I would have just tossed them, angrily.
Now. I saved $3.00 by taking back the fruit. I spent--how much? by driving there. But--here's what I'm learning. I only buy EXACTLY as much as I think we'll need. No more random handfuls of green beans. I think: One bunch for me, one for Jonathan, done. I'm not throwing away any more food.

RO:This is hard to answer..because in some ways I'm thrifty and green and in other ways not. I don't bring my own bag to the market but when I remember I ask for paper (when I have plastic ones I use them for dog poop, which I'm sure will horrify some people.) I've changed most of the light bulbs to the squiggly ones, don't use chemicals in my garden, and I'm very happy shopping at tag sales and thrift shops. I rarely eat meat which makes me feel good about both my health and the fact that I'm not a part of the ginormous beef industry. And we only have one car for the two of us. But I don't compost. That's my dirty little secret. I've tried it a few times and the raccoons drive me nuts.
Right now my refrigerator in CT isn't working. Bruce and I went food shopping and spent $34. Maybe we shouldn't bother getting a new one.
(BTW that gray fuzzy stuff on the berries is botrytis. If there's even a speck of it, your berries are goners.)

ROBERTA: I love seeing all those cloth bags at the supermarket! It's just a matter of getting the old brain cells to remember to put them back in the car.

Maybe some of you read the article in the NY Times this weekend about the couple who decided to try eating on a dollar a day for a month. They ate tons of beans and homemade tortillas and had to cut out almost all vegetables and fruits. The woman said she almost wept when the month was up and she allowed herself to have strawberries. But she also noted how time-consuming it is to cook from scratch. Bottom line, I worry less about the conserving my family has to do--I think it is a useful exercise for us and good for the world. But what about the folks who are already living on the edge? these times are going to be hard, hard, hard.if

JAN: Roberta's right, it's a lot easier to take satisfaction in scrimping when it's not a matter of survival. But I think all of us are going to find ourselves scrimping more and in all this gloom, there might be an upside. (Researchers are already predicting a decline in obesity because of fewer restaurant meals.)

I'd like to hear from everyone out there who may be viewing the world with new or even old-fashioned frugality.

On fashion disasters

I base most of my fashion sense on what doesn't itch. ~Gilda Radner


ROBERTA: I know we have very serious concerns in our world, but we can't think about big problems all the time! Hence, fashion disasters...

A few weeks ago I overheard Hank talking enthusiastically with another writer about “Project Runway,” a fashion reality show. I went to check out their website and learned that the show is already in its fifth season. And that about sums up my knack for fashion. By the time I’ve converted to shoulder pads and puffed sleeves, the well-dressed woman is outfitted in pencil skirts and tuxedo blouses. Frilly girl dresses in style? I’m wearing pinstriped man suits and those stupid silk bow ties that were in vogue in the eighties. I’ve had to come to terms with the facts: I’ll never be on the cutting edge. And part of the problem is that comfort always trumps trendiness when I’m shopping. Anything tight, abrasive, or even with an itchy tag—forget it. An old friend recently sent a photo from my days in Tennessee in the late 70’s. I went to grad school dressed in these overalls—this is what we call a fashion disaster. And now we are ready to hear about yours.

JAN: Cutting edge isn't always a good thing. I bought this shearling coat from the window of a chic Newbury Street store -- with the proceeds from the first big feature I sold to Boston Magazine. (Literally, I was walking back from the BM office and the check burned a hole through my purse.) When my mother first saw me in this coat, she rolled her eyes and asked if I was trying to look homeless. I chalked it up to her lack of fashion sense. A few years later when we were going to an evening event, my husband, who rarely comments on my outfits, asked if I would please wear any other coat but that one. Again, what did he know about fashion? Finally a couple of years ago, my daughter confided she thought the coat was the ugliest thing she'd ever seen. She'd actually been photographed and named the most fashionable girl on her college campus, so I had to listen. Or maybe it was the rule of threes. Anyway, it's still in my closet, but won't be making an appearance this season.

RO: This is hard for me. Not because I'm so fabulously stylish, but I feel like I've been wearing the same things since the fourth grade. Different lengths, tight, baggy, low rise, high waist, I probably have a hundred pairs of black pants and just as many black tops and jackets. I friend actually told me I was starting to look like Johnny Cash a few years back so I've tried to integrate some color into my wardrobe (hence the red fishnets last weekend.) Problem is, that's not what I usually reach for when I get dressed. Every season I buy a few magazines and tell myself that this year I'm going to look a little spiffier. Never really happens, but I keep buying the magazines.

Last year I was on a flight from San Francisco to New York and the guy from What Not to Wear got on the plane. I swear, I thought my friend had set me up.

I did have a pretty excruciating perm in the 80's but mercifully no pictures survive.

This is my fourth grade picture (I think..) A black and gray blouse that I wore as often as my mother would let me. I'd wear it today if I still had it. It was cute. And I wore that headband, or something like it for about a year. Pretty hideous.


HALLIE: I am a huge Project Runway fan, but geeze Louise, I wish they’d deep-sixed Kenley. Talk about annoying and quel cloying, deja vue fashion sense. On the other hand, our waitress last night at the Ashmont Grill was wearing a red leather flower on a strap around her head, a la Kenley. With her baggy red South Boston T-shirt and jeans, I thought it looked pretty silly.

But I’m hardly one to talk—I was wearing black sweatpants and a bright orange zip-up sweatshirt hoodie. Celebrating early Halloween? It was cold! Still, not a fashion statement worth repeating.

Hey, I remember when we wore overalls. And later parachute-material jump suits (I had one in turquoise which was, as I recall, adorable).

Here’s me on vacation in purples and pinks—that was the decade when we tucked in our shirts. My favorite part is the sunglasses stuck over the babushka.

HANK: Rosemary! You were absolutely darling. You all are. And that attitude is so Jan. No nonsense.

Ah, well, you got me here. I spent lots of my teenaged years drawing fashion designs. I really wanted to be a designer, of some kind, though if I remember my drawings at all, the clothes were more suited to Barbies than real people. Think: mermaid skirts. I had Cyd Charisse paper dolls, and loved to cut out the clothes and tab them on.

When I was 15, I think, I cut my hair in an asymmetrical Vidal Sasson, up over one ear. I thought I was so mod. My mother never recovered. (Imagine! You walk into your bathroom and your daughter has hacked off half her hair. That's how she saw it, at least.) Blue eyeshadow, Cleopatra eyeliner. I do wish I had a photo. But, alas, no. And I ALWAYS got sent home from school for having my skirts too short. Once was with a white lace dress and white lace stockings. I was SO mod.

Anyway, now I'm on TV, and have to be kind of careful. And in the past, actually, until maybe 10 years ago, that has resulted in my "look" being a bit--prim. Don't I look like a dorm counselor here? With kind of Farrah hair. And oh yeah, my hair is brown. Imagine that. This is from 1976. (And I still have that blouse. Which, ta dah, is now back in style. And the pearls)

And um, I like Kenley. Yes, her voice is annoying. But she's really talented.

ROBERTA: Oh good job with the pix this week ladies! I think you all look cute. And Hallie, I remember wearing exactly those colors--I had a pink blouse and a maroon skirt that I was so proud of...