True Confessions

Norb Vonnegut is back. Because he has a confession. And we could not resist an object lesson.

That Morning in Brisbane

I have a confession to make.

It took me about thirty years to become a published author overnight. Top Producer is my first novel, and after a career on Wall Street where everybody avoids the limelight, you might say I wasn’t ready for primetime.


And every word is true.


First a little background: Top Producer will be published in other languages and in countries outside the USA—Australia, Japan, the Netherlands, Poland, and Hungary. My Australian publisher, Murdoch Books, released Top Producer on September 1, 2009. They were first to print my novel and will, therefore, always occupy a special place in my memories.

It was exciting to attend the Brisbane Writers Festival. During my first week as a published author, I was having a blast Down Under. There were parties and author panels. After three or four radio interviews and at least one television appearance, I began operating under an illusion.



I’m a celebrity.


I woke up—literally and figuratively—on a Friday morning at 1 am in Australia. My publicist had scheduled an interview with Buddy Cianci (ex-Mayor of RI and radio talk-show host) at 2 am Brisbane time which was noon in Providence. I had set the alarms on my BlackBerry and the clock next to my bed. When the hotel reception also called at 1 am, the three ring tones sounded like a four-alarm fire in the neighborhood.


Hey, I didn’t want to sleep through the radio interview.


After a week of big parties and late hours, I was a wreck waking up in the middle of the night. Bed head. Groggy. Not a pretty sight. I pulled on a pair of old shorts but stayed with the flannel pajama tops that have been part of my wardrobe since last century. Outside, BlackBerry in hand, I tried to wake up in the fresh air by replying to e-mails. What did I care how I looked.



Nobody’s out in Brisbane at 1 am in the morning, right?


Wrong. I sat on the bench in front of my hotel, slowly gaining consciousness before my radio interview. Two guys and a woman approached me from the distance. They were returning from a big night out, Aussie style, and the woman pointed at me.


Not now, I thought. I don’t want my fans seeing me like this. Bed head.

Nasty pajamas.

The trio drew closer, and the woman pointed again.

They want me to autograph a book. I’m not ready for fame.

“Look,” The woman said, “he’s homeless.”

I glanced back over my shoulder and, finding no one behind me, realized she was talking about me.

The woman persisted. She shredded my illusions and tore out my heart.

She asked, “Do you think he needs money?”

I gazed at her in much the same way a deer eyes oncoming headlights. My hands rose involuntarily. I didn’t know what to say.

No. No. You have it all wrong.

And the woman sighed, a note of relief in her voice, “It’s okay. He has a BlackBerry.”

AN AUTHOR YOU CAN'T REFUSE

"Kozak keeps the laughs and chills in bewitching balance as Wollie uncovers the secrets of Yuri's extended family—and suffers a first-time dating consequence in the surprising denouement."

—Publishers Weekly

You’re at a conference, or seminar, or a party. You hear a huge burst of laughter. And then another one. There’s no question—in the center of that happy group is the hilarious and incredibly clever Harley Jane Kozak.

I love to say it—star of stage and screen. But to us, she’s always a star of page.

Her debut novel, DATING DEAD MEN, won the Agatha, Anthony, and Macavity awards. Its sequel was DATING IS MURDER, followed by DEAD EX and the upcoming A DATE YOU CAN’T REFUSE. Of which Janet Evanovich says: "A page-turner of a mystery. A loveable sleuth. A real winner!"

Like everyone else on the planet, we visit her (and her very talented pals) at her blog The Lipstick Chronicles . But now she’s visiting us.

HANK: Ah, Harley. A question I've never asked before. Sex in a parking lot? A Neiman Marcus parking lot?

HARLEY: Yes, Hank. Times are tough and hotel rooms expensive, and when one is undercover, on-the-fly decisions must be made. Still, parking lots sex does come at a cost, not the least of which is dry-cleaning bills. At least I sent Wollie to Neiman Marcus, and not Wal-Mart. (I also send her to Costco in this book, but not for sex.)

HANK: ON THE FLY?? You see, this is why we love you. A Date You Can't Refuse--tell us more about your latest!

HARLEY: Wollie finds herself a "social coach" -- that is, combination babysitter, bus driver and dating therapist for a trio of eastern euro eccentrics: a heavyweight boxer with substance abuse issues, a Soviet country & Western singer, and an evangelical diet book author. The FBI is involved. Hijinks ensue. And she's being poisoned, while attired in the couture clothing of a dead America's Next Top Model contestant. However, it's more highbrow than I've made it sound here.


HANK: Your wonderful Wollie Shelley--where did she come from in your head? And her name is hilarious...did you think of the name first? Or create the character first, and then name her? Or was she just--born?

HARLEY: She was a greeting card shop owner first -- I saw the shop in my head, and then the woman running it, and then realized she not only manages the shop, she designs greeting cards, and then her name came to me, followed by her wacky mother (who only appeared briefly, in Book #2). I hate to sound like I channel this stuff, but it does sort of feel that way. I imagine all authors work like this, but what do I know? Do you channel your characters, or do you do a by-the-numbers Excel spreadsheet character study?


HANK: Oh, some spring full-blown, personalities, characteristics, everything. Charlie, certainly, and Franklin, and little Penny. Who I tried to rename Ella, but it just wasn't her name, you know? And yes, I do think "channeling" is part of it, and I feel incredibly lucky when it happens.
Speaking of channeling--dialogue, too? Do your characters talk to you? Have you ever tried to get them to say or do something that they just won't?


HARLEY: They don't talk to me so much as they talk to each other, but if I don't get it right, they make me rewrite it and rewrite it and rewrite it. My biggest dialogue problem is that one of them will go on and on, a veritable aria, and then I have to go back and remind them that there are other people in the book too and let the other people interrupt, as other people (in my house, anyway) are wont to do.


HANK: Speaking of, um, channeling. I see you on TV all the time. (Thanks, Tivo. And you know, Arachnophobia is even funnier when you see it now.) Do people recognize you from movies and TV? How does your stage and screen experience translate into your novels?

HARLEY: People recognize me on occasion, but it's rare enough to be fun. As in, I never need to punch out the paparazzi. The best is when people recognize me in front of my children, who are convinced that the only life I ever had began on their respective birthdays.

I think acting trains you to put yourself into other people's shoes automatically, which comes in handy when writing novels. Mine are definitely character-driven. My plots are more left-brain; I have to work at making them credible and interesting, and then I have to interrupt my long-winded characters and make them pay attention to plot, to hit the road and carry the action forward because frankly, they'd rather sit at home and yak.


HANK: Anything you wish someone had told you when you started all this writing stuff? When was that, anyway?

HARLEY: That I'd never read fiction in the same way again, and that while I'd get lots of free books (blurb requests, conventions) I'd never have time to read them.

I started to write novels about 15 years ago in a serious way, but I've been writing long (very) letters, journals, plays, poems, and country & western song lyrics my whole life.

HANK: And now you're such a...beloved and loving part of the community. (ACK, sappy. But true.)

HARLEY: Oh, bless you. You make me feel like the mayor. Of what town, I'm not sure.

HANK: Well, Ms. Mayor , you still can’t get away without the Jungle Red Quiz:


Pizza or chocolate?
Chocolate.


Daniel Craig or Pierce Brosnan?
Daniel.


Sex or violence?
Sex

Facebook or MySpace?
Facebook

Katharine Hepburn or Audrey Hepburn?
Audrey

Your favorite non-mystery book?
currently? The Golden Compass


Favorite book as a kid?
The Godfather


Making dinner or making reservations?
reservations


*****And finally, the Jungle Red Big Lie. Tell us four things about you that no one knows. Only three can be true. We'll guess.

I was a National Merit Scholar.
My dad was an Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco & Firearms agent.
I was Courtesy Queen of the first grade at St. John's School
I was a chain smoker, coke addict and pot head

HANK: Well Jungle Reds? Do we think Harley was really the courtesy queen?

And we can also ask her what it's like to work with ten billion spiders.

Harley’s debut novel, DATING DEAD MEN, won the Agatha, Anthony, and Macavity awards. Its sequel was DATING IS MURDER, followed by DEAD EX and the upcoming A DATE YOU CAN’T REFUSE. She’s still a sometimes actress, and lives with her family in California’s Conego Valley. Her short prose has appeared in Ms. Magazine, Soap Opera Digest, The Sun, The Santa Monica Review, and the anthologies Mystery Muses, This is Chick Lit and A HELL OF A WOMAN.

Sophomore Slump?..never heard of it.

Ro: There are certain things I don't even like to say, for fear that saying them will make them happen. Like...well...use your imagination..certain diseases, for example, unhappy altercations between cars and men walking dogs late at night. You get the picture.

On a far less tragic, but still unhappy, note is one expression a new writer can't seem to get away from - Sophomore Slump. I'd heard of it for years, even before I started writing. One publisher I know went so far as to say that publishers should bind a blank book (for number two) and then just leapfrog ahead to number three. I can tell you that wasn't a very encouraging conversation since I'd just spent the best part of a year banging out book two in my Dirty Business mystery series.

I guess there's some truth to the myth of the Sophomore Slump...many writers spend ten years or more polishing their first books and are then expected to push out number two in record time - generally one year if they're mystery writers.

Needless to say, I was determined not to fall victim to the dreaded SS. It goes without saying that I tried to write the best book I could. I held on to that manuscript until the bitter end, rewriting and revising until my normally calm and gentle editor pried it from my bony fingers with a look that told me it was now or never. We agonized over the title, the cover, the different PMS colors for the cover, the ARCs. Everything that went smoothly for book one was more of an issue for book two.

Was Sophomore Slump a self-fulfilling prophecy? Did things screw up because people expected them to screw up?

Time will tell for The Big Dirt Nap. My pub. date is next week, and I've already had a pre-launch party to benefit the Chalula Community library, which my husband and I helped to found. (At the legendary Friar's Club in New York...went well, thank you.) Kirkus, PW and (yippee!) Crimespree have all given me good reviews. So, so far, so good...

Any words of wisdom or war stories from the rest of you seasoned travellers?

ROBERTA: Ro, you've done everything you can. Now let it go and move on. And enjoy the launch! I did have a sophomore slump and lived to survive it:). Although I loved a lot of things about my second book, A BURIED LIE, I lost patience with working on it at the end. The research was impeccable (I paid to play in an LPGA pro-am tournament), the characters developed nicely, but the plot had holes. Big ones. I think I learned a lesson on that one--at any rate, my sweet husband reminds me of it when I'm tempted to rush another ending.
And yes, many writers find writing the second book to be very different from the first. With that first one, there was no deadline, no editor, no real audience in mind. But for the Big Dirt Nap, let's all enjoy the party!

RHYS: I don't think it has much to do with the quality of the book, Rosemary. Collectors buy first in series, especially signed. People try a new series and some decide it's not right for them. The second is often not accompanied by the buzz of the first book. Having said that, the numbers went up on the second book in all my series. So think positively.

JAN: My second book, A Confidential Source, was the most successful, but then again, it was launched as first in a series, (a few name changes but initially written as a sequeal to Final Copy). So I think Rhys is right. It's not in the writing so much as the buzz. You're awesome at generating buzz, Ro, seemingly tireless in promotion. If anyone shouldn't second guess herself, it's you!! Congratulations. I predict another success!

HANK: In college, I gained five pounds my sophomore year. That was also the year I decided going to class wasn't that important. Now that's slump. That's--falling off the chair.
I loved writing my book 2, Face Time. You know why? I had learned so much in the writing and revisions of Prime Time that I wanted to see if I could put it to use. For instance, PT was 723 pages when the first draft was finished! And I had to edit it to 325. That was one of the most educational experiences I've ever had. I learned my crutch words, my weaknesses, my digressions. That sometimes I wasn't that funny. I learned it was all about advancing the plot. Face Time, when I typed The End of the first draft? Bingo. 325 pages.

RO: I have a great group of blog sisters to learn from! Anybody remember that song from Damn Yankees...A Little Brains, A Little Talent? I shall try to employ both - and not gain five pounds!

Come back on Wednesday to meet this week's guest blogger, Joanna Campbell Slan who writes the Kiki Lowenstein Scrapbooking mysteries