More on guilt and chocolate

"The guilty think all talk is of themselves” Geoffrey Chaucer

JAN: Am I a little obsessed by the topic of guilt? Maybe. I'm going to talk more about misplaced and just plain silly guilt. Then, at the end of this post, I'm going to provide a payoff: A chocolate cake recipe that you can feel really guilty about.

Guilty because it's really heart-clogging rich, and guilty because its deceptively easy.

But that's justifiable guilt, let's get back to misplaced guilt.

The silliest guilt I feel is at the cash register. No matter what store I'm at -- CVS, the clothing store, the electronics store -- even if I've planned the entire purchase beforehand and have not gone overbudget,I feel a destinctive wave of guilt everytime I pay up. Like I'm injuring someone by spending my own money. (luckily, this doesn't happen when I make purchases online).

Even at the register, I don't feel badly enough to NOT buy the dress or shoes or month's supply of bath gel, mind you. Just enough to feel five or ten minutes of discomfort. I used to think I had somehow absorbed my mother's Depression Guilt (that's the GREAT DEPRESSION, not psychological depression.) But my eighteen-year-old son confessed to the exact same feeling in his stomach whenever he buys anything, so now I think maybe it's just some bad gene my mother passed to me, and I've passed onto my son.

I think some of us have acquired Environmental Guilt. I feel bad about tossing an old toaster oven instead of getting it fixed. I read once about a couple in New Jersey that devote their entire life to reusing everything so they don't add to waste disposal problem. Honestly, their whole mission in life was to have the smallest bag of weekly garbage. And then, there's Community Service guilt - We all know that one woman --yes, sorry, it's always a woman --who can't be happy unless she serves on every single town board and charity drive. How about the idiocyncratic guilts that go along with your job or your hobby? (I feel a little ping now and then when I call a tennis ball out -- was I right? Did it actually hit the line before it landed, and I didn't see it -- oh no!)

So I'm wondering, what's the stupidist thing you feel guilty about? And does confessing the guilt (not the sin) make it lose any of its power?

ROBERTA: I feel guilty about spending January in Florida while the rest of you are suffering up north--I'm working hard, really! (I know, your collective hearts are breaking for me:)

JAN: I'm crying real tears, Roberta. Not to increase your silly, misplaced guilt or anything, but do you realize it's snowing up here in New England, today. AGAIN???

HANK: I have a lot of t-shirts. You know, plain white ones and black ones. From, you know, the Gap, and JCrew. When they go on sale, I buy more. They're all stacked up in my closet shelves, still in their plastic wrappers. And when they go on sale, I'll buy still more. What if they stop making them? What if they change them? I think it's-- fashion guilt. I bet there are--oh, I feel too guilty to say how many there are. And no, Jan, I don't feel better telling you. I just feel more embarrassed. (Let me know if you hear of any sales.)

And job guilt? Are you kidding me? If I worked every minute of every day in my reporter job, it wouldn't be enough. I also have not-being-perfect guilt. And how about book-promotion guilt? For that, you need another 24 hours a day. On the other hand, how about doing-too-much guilt?

HALLIE: I've just passed a milestone...virtually all the 'work' I do now is writing or writing related. Predictably, I feel guilty about not looking for 'real' work--aka consistely paycheck-producing work. After years of being a freelance writer-for-hire and hustling for every gig, being completely self directed feels weird and sinful. And scary.

ROBERTA: Hallie, congratulations--it's about time! We're all going to be enriched by the things you write..._

JAN: And in the meantime, you can all be enriched by a single slice of this cake.

Jan's Chocolate Mint Cake recipe.
Take a box chocolate cake mix, follow the directions and make a single layer cake. I use a 8 inch cake pan that is fluted, but a regular 8 inch cake pan or a square brownie pan will also work.

While its baking, mix:

two tablespoons unsalted butter

two tablespoons cream or half and half

one teaspoon peppermint flavor

Optional: you can add two drops of green food coloring, but I think it looks better without the green.

one cup confectioners sugar

Melt btter, add the rest of incredients and stir into a paste.

Let cake cool about five or ten minutes, but not entirely. When it is still lukewarm, spread a thin layer of the mint icing over the top.

Melt one or two squares of semi-sweet baker's chocolate in 1 to 2 (respectively) tablespoons of unsalted butter.

Dribble over the icing while the cake is still warm.With a knife make decorative swirls.

Let cool and serve. Eat two pieces and feel really, really guilty.

Enjoy and try not to feel too guilty.

On Guilt

“Guilt is the price we pay willingly for doing what we are going to do anyway.”
Isabelle Holland

JAN: I'm fascinated by guilt, in part because it is so destructive, but also because I've known and profiled a few sociopaths. The complete absence of guilt is startling. You can actually see the ability to feel guilt missing from someone's eyes.I used to think I always felt guilty because I was Irish-Catholic, but I'm starting to think it's just an inborn trait. A tendency to self-criticism. Too much of that tendency is self-destructive. Too little and you can destroy others with abandon.Anyway, murder mysteries are all about guilt, right? Only I find that I use guilt more in the creation of my protagonist, Hallie Ahern, than in the creation of my bad guys.

In past books, Hallie has wrestled with the lines she crosses in journalism to complete her investigation. In this book, she is wrestling with the lines of humanity she crosses to do her job as a journalist.I know Hallie Ephron wrote an entire mystery entitled Guilt, and will have a lot to offer on this topic. But I'm also wondering how everyone else makes literary use of the incredible power of guilt.

RO: I've got the Catholic thing, too, so guilt is a part of my life. I feel guilty about something every day (I'm really revealing all of my neuroses in this blog, aren't I?)- even if it's something as small as not sending a thank you note fast enough. (Thank you Alice and Alison...the notes are coming.)Perhaps that's the reason my characters are remarkably guilt-free. Maybe that's my fantasy...the way nebbish-y guys write superheroes.Since I write cozies, I haven't dealt with hardened criminals yet. My bad guys seem to fall into the amoral greed-lust-revenge crowd, and - at least as I've created them - they have the ability to do what they think must be done unfettered by anything as annoying as guilt.

ROBERTA: I'm with Jan on this one though I was raised a white-bread Presbyterian. Even so, I generally feel guilty about everything and my protagonists do as well! It is a real motivator: Let something go long enough and the guilty feelings start to snowball until that item finally gets moved up the list. I think the kind of guilt we're talking about is related to feeling privileged too. Is is possible to feel lucky and happy without that underlying sense of guilt? The villains in my books tend to have some pressing need or grudge that feels strong enough to completely overwhelm any sense of guilt.

HANK: Guilt. On one end of the spectrum is feeling one "ought to be" doing something because of responsibility in a relationship, to society, to a job, to a loved one--but instead, they do something else.Something, probably, that's bound up with one of the other prime motivators, selfishness. But still, if I use frozen brown rice for dinner instead of making the 45-minute kind, or if I don't fold the fitted sheets perfectly because it's too much of a pain, or if I leave work the tiniest bit early because I want to work on my book--yeah, I feel twinges of guilt. But not GUILTY.

On the other hand..when the human foible selfishness twists and morphs into greed and vengeance and it outpaces responsibility and morality--then guilt turns to guilty. As in--the one who becomes the bad guy.And I think what makes the best bad guys so interesting is that they can all tell you a reason why they've decided whatever they're doing is okay. I love the moment in a mystery when you find out whodunnit--but whydunnit is more interesting and certainly more fun to write when you're creating a character. When the reader finds the 'why'--and suddenly all those clues that have been so carefully laid out in the 300 pages before click together like a Rubik's cube and you see the real picture--that's very satisfying. Because then you've got a real person.

HALLIE: Exactly! Guilt is what the villain in a mystery novel doesn't feel, because from his/her point of view, there were utterly compelling reasons for the and it HAD TO BE done. Whereas the rest of us feel overwhelming guilt for all sorts of things over which we, in fact, have absolutely no control (our children's unhappiness, the price of fish...) What I'm fascinated by, from a plotting point of view, is the difference between guilt and shame. Characters feel compelled to hide whatever it is that causes them guilt or shame, and secrets are the lifeblood of a mystery novel.

On Guilt Again

“Guilt is the price we pay willingly for doing what we are going to do anyway.” Isabelle Holland

JAN: I'm fascinated by guilt, in part because it is so destructive, but also because I've known and profiled a few sociopaths. The complete absence of guilt is startling. You can actually see the ability to feel guilt missing from someone's eyes.

I used to think I always felt guilty because I was Irish-Catholic, but I'm starting to think it's just an inborn trait. A tendency to self-criticism. Too much of that tendency is self-destructive. Too little and you can destroy others with abandon.

Anyway, murder mysteries are all about guilt, right? Only I find that I use guilt more in the creation of my protagonist, Hallie Ahern, than in the creation of my bad guys. In past books, Hallie has wrestled with the lines she crosses in journalism to complete her investigation. In this book, she is wrestling with the lines of humanity she crosses to do her job as a journalist.

I know Hallie Ephron wrote an entire mystery entitled Guilt, and will have a lot to offer on this topic. But I'm also wondering how everyone else makes literary use of the incredible power of guilt.

RO: I've got the Catholic thing, too, so guilt is a part of my life. I feel guilty about something every day (I'm really revealing all of my neuroses in this blog, aren't I?)- even if it's something as small as not sending a thank you note fast enough. (Thank you Alice and Alison...the notes are coming.)Perhaps that's the reason my characters are remarkably guilt-free. Maybe that's my fantasy...the way nebbish-y guys write superheroes.

Since I write cozies, I haven't dealt with hardened criminals yet. My bad guys seem to fall into the amoral greed-lust-revenge crowd, and - at least as I've created them - they have the ability to do what they think must be done unfettered by anything as annoying as guilt.

ROBERTA: I'm with Jan on this one though I was raised a white-bread Presbyterian. Even so, I generally feel guilty about everything and my protagonists do as well! It is a real motivator: Let something go long enough and the guilty feelings start to snowball until that item finally gets moved up the list. I think the kind of guilt we're talking about is related to feeling privileged too. Is is possible to feel lucky and happy without that underlying sense of guilt? The villains in my books tend to have some pressing need or grudge that feels strong enough to completely overwhelm any sense of guilt.

HANK: Guilt. One one end of the spectrum is feeling one "ought to be" doing something because of responsibility in a relationship, to society, to a job, to a loved one--but instead, they do something else.

Something, probably, that's bound up with one of the other prime motivators, selfishness. But still, if I use frozen brown rice for dinner instead of making the 45-minute kind, or if I don't fold the fitted sheets perfectly because it's too much of a pain, or if I leave work the tiniest bit early because I want to work on my book--yeah, I feel twinges of guilt. But not GUILTY.

On the other hand..when the human foible selfishness twists and morphs into greed and vengeance and it outpaces responsibility and morality--then guilt turns to guilty. As in--the one who becomes the bad guy.

And I think what makes the best bad guys so interesting is that they can all tell you a reason why they've decided whatever they're doing is okay. I love the moment in a mystery when you find out whodunnit--but whydunnit is more interesting and certainly more fun to write when you're creating a character. When the reader finds the 'why'--and suddenly all those clues that have been so carefully laid out in the 300 pages before click together like a Rubik's cube and you see the real picture--that's very satisfying. Because then you've got a real person.

HALLIE: Exactly! Guilt is what the villain in a mystery novel doesn't feel, because from his/her point of view, there were utterly compelling reasons for the and it HAD TO BE done. Whereas the rest of us feel overwhelming guilt for all sorts of things over which we, in fact, have absolutely no control (our children's unhappiness, the price of fish...) What I'm fascinated by, from a plotting point of view, is the difference between guilt and shame. Characters feel compelled to hide whatever it is that causes them guilt or shame, and secrets are the lifeblood of a mystery novel.