ON OBSOLESCENCE

"The Cheshire Cat vanished quite slowly, beginning with the end of the tail, and ending with the grin, which remained some time after the rest of it had gone.”

***Lewis Carroll

"You can't always get what you want..."

*** Mick Jagger

HANK:

I read somewhere--I think it was The Economist or, okay, maybe Vogue-- that if your lipstick color is discontinued, vanishes from the shelves, you should consider yourself lucky, because the cosmetics industry is blasting you out of your rut. Because, it went on, no one should wear the same lipstick color for so long that it actually becomes obsolete. That it says more about you than it does about the lipstick.

Well, say what you will, cosmetics people. Say I'm stuck in my ways. Mired.

I say: Got RIO? My dear lipstick color, a wonderful brick red, not too bright, not orangey or bluey, not gunky or transparent, just solid and competent red with a dash of glamour. Why, why, why, Trish McEvoy, did you give it the heave-ho? When it happened, I called the Trish HQ, and ordered all the rest of the tubes that existed. And now I have a refrigerator full of RIO. (I got, um, a few more than I had actually expected, but I did need a lifetime supply. I figure my life can now go to about 2060.)

Anyway, then I heard Elizabeth Arden has discontinued Visible Difference. I haven't used that in years, but I still have a jar of it, and sometimes just take a whiff of the fragrance. And it brings back so many nice memories. We all swore by it in the 70's. And now, EA says, fuggedaboutit.
Some really great fabric softener came out a year or so ago, scented lavender and vanilla. I loved it. And I bought about five bottles of it on one trip to the grocery. My husband stopped in his tracks. Why on earth, he asked, do we need five bottles of fabric softener? Because, I said, I love this, and that means they are going to discontinue it soon.

Are we too set in our ways? Have any of your faves disappeared?

RO:

Some years ago I used to LOVE a Body Shop shampoo - I think it was Cocoanut Oil and they paired it with a Brazil Nut conditioner. Smelled heavenly and it made my hair look and feel fantastic. Went to buy it one day - boom, discontinued. I had them call every Body Shop on the east coast and I bought all of the giant sized bottles that I could get my hands on. I had it for about two years after they discontinued it. Every once in a while I go into a Body Shop to see if they've brought it back. It was the best.

I had a little hissy fit at the Gap last year...wanted another pair of the same style jeans I had bought not 60 days before and I was told they didn't make them anymore - as if I had tried to buy...I don't know..a freaking Edsel.

You were absolutely right to buy the fabric softener. I just bought 3 tubes of Touche Eclat concealer...YSL better not stop making that!Umm, do you think I can get that shampoo online..?

HALLIE:

My all time favorite scent came from a container of Arpege by Lanvin talcum powder. It was tangy and spicy and sexy and I loved it and the last speck of it is long gone. My husband, sweetheart that he is, a bottle of the perfume for me in a vintage perfume store--yes, they do exist. It's close, but it ain't the same.

I've, um, had the same tube of lipstick for years and years and years. On a whim (or maybe it was the two for one sale at Walgreen's) I shopped for a new tube a month or two ago. Remember the olden days, when you could try a lipstick at the Woolworth's counter? And remember how many tries it took to get just the right shade? Now you just have to imagine what will work, and forget trying to return a used tube. So I bought a skinny little tube, a kind of reddish terra cotta. It's okay, and occasionally I use it. But what is this with the tingling when you put it on? Is this supposed to make me feel like I got botoxed?? Or plumped? Minty-fresh lips is not what I crave. Am I imagining this??

ROBERTA:

As you may have noticed, I'm no expert on lipstick. Now if the Burt's Bees company ceases to manufacture lip balm, I will be in serious trouble. I'm an addict and I admit it. I have a tube in the bathroom, kitchen, office, car, purse, many of pants pockets. If I could find a lipstick that didn't make my lips feel like sandpaper, I'd love to look like Hank. (Only shorter and less stylish--well, you know what I mean!)

My other problem has to do with hair products. For 21 years I drove an hour and paid big bucks for a certain hair salon. Finally, I couldn't take it and made the switch to someone nearby with a sink in her basement. But my shampoo, conditioner, and styling goop all come from the previous place. I'm starting to panic as I move to my last bottles. I suppose I'm going to have to make the trip and slink back in disguise to buy up whatever's on their shelves...

HANK:

Hallie, sounds like you got the special so-called lip-plumper stuff? Yeah, I think some lipsticks have flavors, which I don't really understand. Others just have a weird scent, don't they? And tell us what you need, Roberta. The least I can do is go in undercover and get it for you! So how about you, dear JR readers--anything you're hoarding? Or worried about being discontinued? Or have you had your favorite stuff whisked out from under you?