On stuff you can't make up

HALLIE: Reality sometimes trumps fiction. I remember one day I'm sitting in a coffee shop in New York, one with stools and a little counter across the front window. I'm sipping and gazing out when a man on the street walks by, his head buried in a newspaper. He walks smack into a metal pole. He rears back and punches the pole.

And then there's the time my husband and I were staying at one of those fancy hotels on a Caribbean island. A pair of newlyweds took the hotel's water taxi to nearby island and got stranded there. It grew dark and they became more and more desperate. The wife started digging in the sand and found...a flashlight. Really, she did. Not only that, it worked. They used it to signal until someone on the beach at the hotel noticed and they sent a boat over to rescue them.

I wish I could use either of those incidents in a book, but I don't think anyone would believe it happened, and I can't footnote it (*this really happened). In fiction, reality is no excuse.

Do you have any moments in real life that you couldn't put into a book because no one would believe it happened.

RHYS: Some amazing coincidences--hearing a familiar voice at the Berlin Wall and finding it was my next door neighbor's mother. Bumping into friends in the middle of Sri Lanka. I found a watch buried in the lake bed in six feet of water, dug it out and it was still ticking.

I've overheard some amazing things: I was once swimming laps and from the next lane I heard a woman say, "Of course, the gun belt weighs you down." Had to swim extra fast to try and keep up this conversation.

I was once locked into the gardens at Gramercy Park by mistake and was luckily rescued as it was getting dark. But I did use this in a Molly book.

But you're right--critics jump on any use of coincidence in a book when in real life there are coincidences every day.

ROBERTA: here's a funny true story that people have found hard to believe. In graduate school, I had walked out to the far parking lot when a woman accosted me with a dead battery problem. I told her that I did own jumper cables, but was not confident using them. She was quite scornful about my reluctance to take charge and my reliance on father/boyfriend/husbands in the past. She hooked the cables up, I started my car, and her engine began to spark and smoke. She grabbed a random male student in the next row of cars, all the while screaming: "We need a man! We need a man!"

RO: I love that!! We need a man!

HALLIE: I think I could put that in a book.

RO: I've had my copyeditor comment that one or two things I've written weren't plausible and of course they were things I'd lifted from newspaper articles...like the accountant who bought a horse and managed to turn it into a champion. I was in Costco today and overheard a 13-14 year old girl on the phone having an incredible conversation that involved babies, cops, and some rather extreme circumstances. I can only hope she was talking about a movie. That I might use in a book.

JAN: When I was working as a reporter in Rhode Island, I was listening to a radio talk show, when Raymond Patriarca, the head of the New England mob, actually called in. He wanted to tell everyone that he truly had a lot of respect for Arline Violet, the (then) state's attorney general (and a former nun), because she was the only honest (and presumably incorruptible) politician in Rhode Island. No one would believe THAT if you used it in a novel.

HANK: As a reporter, sometimes coincidences happen in another way. Like I'll be thinking--I wish I had a person who's been scammed by a (pick a bad thing) so I could use them as an example in a story. Then bing. I'll get an email from just that sort of person. How does that happen? And I mean, things like that occur so often that my producer and I just tell ourselves--If we need it, it will come. And SO CONSISTENTLY, when it's the right time, the universe provides.

But if you put that in a book, it's instantly ridiculous.

(I must say, Jan, I called the PR person for a certain government agency recently, and asked a question. She freaked out, and said, "Wait wait, I'm not allowed to answer that, you need to talk to a man." Truly.)

(Oh, wait. Here's one. We were in Nevis, in British West Indies, having a cocktail at an outdoor bar at our hotel. Suddenly we hear--Hello, Jonathan. It's Jonathan's law school pal, Supreme Court Justice Steven Breyer. I didn't know Jonathan knew him. And that's weirder because Breyer was also my boss when I worked on Capitol Hill in 1973. Put THAT in a book.)

HALLIE: The most bizarre, most un-fiction-worthy things happen all the time. So, what's happened to you that no one would believe if you put it in a book.

Sumer is Icumen In

HANK: Lhude sing--its driving me cuccoo! Flo and Eddy, the ducks that arrive every spring in out backyard pool are here. So that's a delightful herald of the new season. (It's their sixth or seventh year with us. It brings tears of happiness to my eyes to see them return.)

And yes, it's wonderful that it's nice and sunny--the sun feels so comforting and lulling after the harsh winter. It's a treat to go outside and not have to battle the weather. And it's too early in the season to be complaining about the heat.

But there's that pre-summer to-do list. Do you have one? Of course being on the list doesn't mean it's going to get accomplished. But the list is haunting me, following me around, shooting its evil and relentless little reminders at me as I try to ignore it.

Change my closet from winter clothes to summer clothes. Figure out what has to go to the dry cleaners, and figure out how it's even possible to afford to buy my cleaned clothes back from them. (If it prevents those skeevy disgusting moths, so be it. Worth it.)

Look at my bathing suit. Ignore it.

The windows in our house need washing. So do the screens. Now that the sun is shining, all the smeary leftover gunk from the shadowy winter is in full back-lit relief. Can I just ignore that, too?

Clean the patio furniture. Get sunscreen. Bug spray. Yank out the grill. Make sure there's tonic water for gin and tonics. (Wait, this is sounding better.) Scout for fresh corn. (not yet, not yet...) Fill the house with peonies (not yet, not yet.) And it's just one month until PRIME TIME comes out!

Hey. This began as a list of annoying to-dos. But now I'm getting excited. I'm not wishing the time away. But this'll be fun.

As soon as I change the closet.

How about you? What's on your summer to-do list? (Will you actually do it?)

JAN: What I want to know is WHY changing the closets and drawers takes an entire day?? Are my closets and drawers telling me I buy too many clothes, and wear too few of them??

I've washed the windows (YAY!) done some planting (I hate gardening, but love fresh herbs), and did a half-baked job of changing the closets. For me the most important pre-summer ritual, is switching to summer tennis, which means signing up for the USTA teams and getting in shape for some singles (HAH!)

I also have to start researching for my trip to France. How can a reporter who LOVES research, hate it and procrastinate when the research involves something fun like travel? I'm not sure but I think a good shrink would have field day with it.

HALLIE: As I'm just back from a 3-week vacation, my to-do list is endless... beginning with mow the lawn, weed the garden (already!), refill the bird bath, put flower pots on the patio, and yes, wash windows. Honestly, I haven't bought an item of clothing that needs to be dry-cleaned in years, so never mind all that, and I never reorganize the closet...there's too little in there and I know it all well. Just bought myself a new bathing suit and a decent pair of sandals and I'm ready to welcome summer!

HANK: Oh, Hallie—welcome home! And we want photos. And only you could say “just bought myself a new bathing suit” without a trace of irony or terror. But that’s a blog for another day.

Happy Memorial Day. Or--thoughtful Memorial Day, I guess is more appropriate.

Summer to-dos? What are we forgetting?

On Revision with a Pro

HALLIE: When I wrote my first mystery novel, I was old enough to know that I didn’t want to waste a lot of time sending out a manuscript that wasn’t ready for prime time. So I took it as far as I could on my own, and then I brought it to freelance editor Lorraine Bodger.

The good news was that I had a great plot. The bad news was that my characters were, well, insufficiently developed. Cardboard and bland. I had a major revision ahead. But when I was finished, I did find an agent.

Lorrie has published more than thirty books of her own, and she’s been a professional freelance editor for more than fifteen years. She says, “Writing books makes me a better editor, and editing makes me a better writer.” And though most of her own books are nonfiction, she found that she had a gift for editing fiction and personal memoir. “It’s all about telling a story.”

She remembers working with author Ted Kerasote on his first novel. Until then he’d written only nonfiction about the wild. “He came to me with a 450-page manuscript that his agent wanted cut by at least 100 pages. Which we did, and it was a wonderful story, but it never quite worked. After that it was hard for Ted to find his next book, and I kept telling him, ‘You talk to me all the time about your dog, why don’t you write about your dog?’ I nudged him mercilessly. And finally he wrote his hugely best-selling Merle’s Door.”

Lorrie, welcome to Jungle Red Writers. (Lorrie can be reached at roxielifton “at” hotmail dot com.)

JRW: You see a lot of crime fiction from aspiring writers. What are the most common problems?

LORRIE: Top of the list: unoriginal plot and undeveloped characters.

JRW: Yikes, that about covers it. What do you usually see lacking in the plot?

LORRIE: Invention. The plot feels like chewed-over material—too imitative of David Baldacci or Agatha Christie, for instance. The writer hasn’t found or worked with his or her own originality. Often it’s missing an interesting hook, or the plot points aren’t clear enough, or they come too soon or too late, or the story isn’t hanging together in a compelling way. A good mystery or thriller keeps you turning the pages.

JRW: And what’s wrong with the characters?

LORRIE: They’re flat, two-dimensional. Or they’re generic to the point that you could give them titles like “The He-man” or “The Nasty Mother-in-law”—so stock that they’re not interesting.

JRW: Are writers surprised when you tell them the plot and characters are weak?

LORRIE: Writers I work with are often astonished when I explain the problems. They’re too close to the manuscript and they can’t “see” it anymore. Every writer suffers that—it’s why we have other writers read our work. But it’s extreme with new writers, and that’s the value of having a fresh and professional eye look at your draft.

JRW: What do you look for in an opening?

LORRIE: The important thing is that the reader must attach to the main character. And I almost always tell writers to think twice about starting with a prologue. With rare exceptions, and of course there are those, it’s a distraction that keeps the reader from getting into the book. Better to plunge right in and take the reader with you.

JRW: Do you think most new writers are willing to do what it takes to revise a manuscript?

LORRIE: What I’ve found is that people who are open to change are more likely to be able to do the crucial rewrites—because they’re flexible enough to change direction and make the work better.

But I couldn’t count the number of writers whose manuscripts I’ve read and critted who say, “I’m going to go back and revise it,” and then don’t. What distinguishes an amateur writer from a budding professional is understanding that good writing takes time and doesn’t happen on the first try. You have to take the long view. And it’s very hard for impatient new writers to take the long view.

One of the best writers I’ve worked with was a woman living in a small town in Oregon. The minute I read her manuscript I said whoa, she’s really got it. It was a little bit Sue Grafton, but it was also very original. She worked really hard and took crit really well. She got a lot of agents to read her manuscript, and she got very close to a sale. If she goes on and writes another manuscript or even does more rewrite on the first one, there’s a good chance she’ll get her work published. You have to understand that getting close is a very big deal.

JRW: Is that the measure of success a new writer should shoot for?

LORRIE: Aim for publication, of course, but to get an agent to read more than your query letter and your five submitted pages is major. It opens the door for the future. You can go back to those agents with your next query and manuscript and they’ll respond positively to hearing from you. And you can’t get anywhere without an agent.

JRW: Do you think that if a writer works long and hard enough, and writes a good enough manuscript, that it will find a publisher?

LORRIE: Not necessarily. I wish I could be more positive, but lots of very good work doesn’t find a publisher. It’s totally unpredictable. There are so many uncontrollable exigencies of the marketplace at the moment you send out your manuscript. What you can do is pay attention to what’s happening in your genre right this minute. But at the same time, search for your own originality.

JRW: If a writer is going to work with a freelance editor, when is the best time to do it?

LORRIE: When you have a complete manuscript—preferably copy-edited and using industry-standard page setup—and you’ve taken the writing as far as you can get on your own.

JRW: Thanks, Lorrie. Any questions for Lorrie? Now’s your chance… Or reach Lorrie one-on-one, e-mail her: roxielifton “at” hotmail dot com.

A BIT OF FREE ADVICE

Andrew McAleer is such a name dropper. Who have you been chatting with recently, I asked? So he says, oh, Mary Higgins Clark. Elmore Leonard. Bill Tapply.

I say, come on, buster. NO way.

Way, he says.

And turns out, it’s true. He’s put together a truly charming and inspirational book called The 101 Habits of Highly Successful Novelists. It’s fun to read, full of honest and helpful stuff, and I must admit, I now keep it right by my computer in case I need a wake-up call or a jolt of compassion or a hit of writerly community.

HANK: How did you get all these wonderful authors to provide advice?

ANDREW: I've always enjoyed corresponding with authors and have made some great friends as a result. Authors like Elmore Leonard, Mary Higgins Clark, William Tapply, Kris Neri, and Robin Moore are just a handful of the authors I've corresponded with. They were some of the first authors I presented the idea to and they very generously agreed to contribute. I think once other authors saw contributions from such respected authors they knew it was a worthwhile project and also agreed to help. At the time I was writing the book most of my contacts were in the crime fiction field and I was a bit intimidated to ask established authors from the romance, western, and fantasy genres for contributions.

**SUZANNE BROCKMANN: “I never said…”

**MARY HIGGINS CLARK: “Where to get the idea? Easy. Just…”

**VICKI STEIFEL: "When I sit down to write, I have no..."

HANK: How did your take on that change, as the project progressed?

ANDY: I was a bit surprised by how generous everyone was with their time and willingness to share their secrets. Looking back, however, I shouldn't have been because I have found over the years that most established authors are delighted to help new authors of merit.

**JULIA LONDON: “If you were born to write, ideas will come to you. You will get them from…”

**SJ ROZAN: “Read read read read read. If it means less TV…..”

**RHYS BOWEN: “If you get writers block, it could be because you…”

HANK: Were there any surprises along the way?

ANDREW: I think the person most surprised was my editor because I submitted the manuscript right on deadline!

**KRIS NERI: “When I first started writing, I offered to…”

**JOAN JOHNSTON: “No one likes a….”

**ED GAFFNEY: “I believe that my subconscious mind…”

HANK: One of the lovely things about the book--writing is such a solitary endeavor. And sometimes you feel as if no one else has ever hit the wall. Or had a dry streak. Or wondered if they could do it again. When you saw the book as a whole for the first time--not just snippets of advice--did it become more than the sum of its parts?

ANDREW: It did. But not because of what I had done. I think the real credit goes to the people behind the scenes at the publishing house (Adams Media) like my editor Richard Wallace, the line editors, and the artists. They are the professionals who do the real mule work and often don't get the credit they deserve. My goal was to make the book as readable and straightforward as possible. If someone's going to shell out his or her hard earned pay for my book I demanded of myself substance over package. Fortunately, I was able to team up with a publisher that agreed with me.

HANK: Okay, here’s what some of them said, at least…the rest, well, you can (you know what’s coming) take a look at Andy’s book.

**SJ ROZAN: Read read read read read. If it means less TV, less family time fewer movies, whatever it means….

**RHYS BOWEN: “If you get writers block, it could be because you are trying to force your character to do something he would not do…

**SUZANNE BROCKMANN: “I never said if I get published. For me it was always when...…

So Jungle Reds, what advice and info about your own 101 habits do you have for your fellow readers and writers? And hey, it doesn’t have to be about books. For instance: I say steam the milk for your coffee in the microwave. Delicious! And I learned it from Hallie.



Andrew McAleer is the author of The 101 Habits of Highly Successful Novelists and the co-author of the number 1 best-selling, Mystery Writing in a Nutshell. Mr. McAleer is also the author of three novels including the critically-acclaimed, Double Endorsement and Bait and Switch. A prosecutor with the Massachusetts Department of Correction, Mr. McAleer is also an adjunct professor at Boston College and a recipient of the Sherlock Holmes Revere Bowl Award. He serves as a specialist in the Army National Guard. Visit Mr. McAleer at http://www.crimestalkers.com/

His photo courtesy Stephen D. Rogers.

Perchance to Dream

"We are such stuff as dreams are made on..."

RHYS: Sorry to be waxing so Shakespearean today. At least it proves that I did occasionally pay attention in English class!But my blog today is on dreams.

Recently I haven't been feeling too well, battling a stomach complaint, and one of the things that has happened is that I have difficulty sleeping. I fall asleep just fine, then wake at midnight or one o'clock wide awake and not able to sleep again. So my sleep pattern has become horribly disturbed.

This is hard to accept for me, who has always been the sort of person who zonks out the moment my head touches the pillow and wakes again when it's light. And because my sleep has been disturbed, I've been doing less dreaming. I'm currently writing a new Molly book and I've been finding it hard going. I wondered why, as I have such a great story in my head, until it occurred to me that maybe the lack of dreaming may have something to do with it.
So I'm wondering--does a writer or other creative person need to dream to create? Do all creative people dream all the time and vividly? My theory is now that we need that brain rewiring, cleaning and debugging before we can create. We may also need those dreams to pre-plan where we are going with the story,

I have always had incredibly vivid dreams--always in color and with the five senses often involved. I taste food, enjoy scents, hear music , even better than a great movie, or even more terrifying if it's a nightmare. One of the best courses I took at college was one on dream pschology. It was in Germany and taught by an eminent German dream psychologist. So ever since then I can interpret my own (and my friends') dreams. Of course most dreams are only the brain reexamining and processing events of the day, or descrambling crossed wires, but certain symbols are pertinent and recurring dreams always mean something.
I often dream the stress dreams--rushing to catch the train, trying to pack my clothes before I miss the flight or finding myself in school with an exam I can't finish. It's funny that the stress dreams are always school and not college. I geuss college was an all around good experience for me. But if I'm dreaming something odd and different, I talk it through and often find that I use the words to tell me what's wrong. An example: a friend said she kept on dreaming she ran into Marks and Spencer(the big department store in England) and she wanted to buy something but they were closing and the shelves were amost empty. She asked what it meant. I told her that she'd given the clue by choosing Marks and Spenser as her store. She'd always wanted to go go art school. Her parents had sent her out to get a job instead and she'd always regretted it. Hence she dreamed of going to a place where there were "marks" which we say instead of grades in UK. But she's worried she's left it too late.

So if you have a dream you want interpreted, ask me.And fellow Jungle Reds--do you dream a lot and vividly? Do you think that is something common to all creative people,ANDhave you ever dreamed a good plot that you've later used?

JAN: I dream A LOT and vividly. Sometimes I dream really loud sounds that wake me up. My brain switches right into wild dreams even as I doze off. I have to meditate with my eyes open so it doesn't happen.
Last night I dreamt I was making YOUTUBE videos for a living. It was a lot of fun, but I have yet to incorporate a dream into life or even a plot.

When I was a health reporter, I interviewed a Harvard brain researcher who was convinced that we used our dream cycles to process the trauma and emotion in our life. And that was one of the reasons people with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) couldn't process their trauma -- because the trauma itself interrupted the dream cycle. So that could also support your theory on creativity, Rhys. The brain needs to rest and mend to process life and create.

ROBERTA: First of all Rhys, I'm very sympathetic to the sleep problems. I've had them for a

while, and lately of just the variety you describe: wake up at 2-3 pm and lie there for hours. I've had several people recommend melatonin and I'm going to try it.
On to dreams: As a psychologist I was always listening for them. I was not taught to interpret certain dream figments as having meaning in themselves, but to explore the patient's thoughts and associations around the dream. In other words, the dream might reveal thoughts/problems/feelings that the person was not aware of in conscious life. And as Rebecca Butterman would say, the more we know about ourselves, the less we are doomed to repeat the mistakes of the past.
I have two unpleasant recurring dreams. One involves driving a car backwards downhill out of control. Haven't had that for a while and hope not to!! The second (I had a variation of this last night) is a golf dream. I'm trying to hit the ball off the tee, but I can't get my tee into the ground, or the fairway is extremely narrow or even a tunnel. I think it's very much like those school anxiety dreams but a different setting. I only wish I would dream a good plot--I could use one about now!

HANK: Oh, Roberta, I've never ever had a golf dream. (And I must say those have a bit of Freudian overtones...but I'll leave that to the experts.)
Yes, the school dreams: classes that disappear, tests I should have known about, rooms that I can't find. Also about TV, with the time ticking by and I had no implement to write my story for the news with. Once I woke up in the middle of the night, stressed and terrified, having been dreaming that I was writing on my notepad with a fingernail since there were no pencils. For years I was plagued with those.
Then one night I had a dream that I was in a play. Curtain up--and I had no idea what I was supposed to do onstage. I didn't know the words or the steps. And then, in the dream, I said to myself: This is a dream. So no probelm. And besides, I know the words and the steps. I never had the dream again.
Now, I dream in beautiful color about a house I didn't know I had. It's the same house every time, with secret gorgeous rooms full of wonderful things. And I could describe it to you perfectly.

HALLIE: It's so nice to know everyone else has those anxiety dreams. The play. The exams. The class I'm taking but I don't know when it meets or where. Last night I dreamed that, in addition to having two magazine articles and a novel to complete, four weeks of travel to take, and my daughter’s August wedding to plan, my husband and I had sold our house and needed to move. I had no trouble interpreting that. It’s the too-much-to-do-so-you-might-as-well-give-up dream.
Once I had a great dream (I can’t remember what it was about) and woke thinking: I can use that in a book. I wrote it down and in the morning there was a piece of paper on my bedside on which I’d scrawled “pink gravy.” Or at least I think that’s what it said

RHYS: It's interesting that I've also had the car running backward dream and Hank's dream of standing in the wings waiting to go onstage and suddenly realizing that I have no idea what my lines are. Sometimes this works out well and I step onstage and just seem to know what to say, other times I'm rushing around looking for the script. What a bunch of neurotics we are!

So has anyone out there ever dreamed a whole plot?

ON Queries about Queries

Yeah, it's one of the things you don't find out til later.

You've written a wonderful book, a marvelous book, and you're getting ready to write the cool acknowledgment page and sign up for an author photo.

Waaaait a minit. First you've got to get an agent. THAT you know. And to snag your perfect agent, you suddenly find out need to write a query letter. A--sales pitch. That perfectly (but briefly) describes you and your book so irresisitibly that you'll have agent offers filling your email and mailbox.

The query letter. In the annals of writing, it goes down with the dreaded synopsis as the scourge.

But hey--we've snagged Wendy Burt Thomas. She has a new book that'll answer it all for us. It's called: The Writers Digest Guide to Query Letters.
(And its not just for novels--it's got info on non-fiction, and short stories, and magazines.)

And we're getting a sneak peek.

HANK: Query letters. We all cringe. How make-or-break is a query letter to an aspiring author's career?

WENDY: Breaking into the publishing world is hard enough right now. Unless you have a serious "in" of some kind, you really need a great query letter to impress an agent or acquisitions editor.

Essentially, your query letter is your first impression. If they like your idea (and voice and writing style and background), they'll either request a proposal, sample chapters, or the entire manuscript. If they don't like your query letter, you've got to pitch it to another agency/publisher. Unlike a manuscript, which can be edited or reworked if an editor thinks it has promise, you only get one shot with your query.

I see a lot of authors who spend months (or years) finishing their book, only to rush through the process of crafting a good, solid query letter. What a waste! If agents/editors turn you down based on a bad query letter, you've blown your chance of getting them to read your manuscript.

It could be the next bestseller, but they'll never see it. My advice is to put as much effort into your query as you did your book. If it's not fabulous, don't send it until it is.

HANK: You know, my first query letter, which I loved, got no no no no from every agent I sent it to. It focused on the main character. The second one--which was about exactly the same book--focused on the plot hook. I think I only changed the first paragraph. And everyone said yes. It was the same book! How do you know you've got it right?


WENDY: That's a tough one. There are a few things that will help your chances of landing an agent. First, make sure your book idea is a match for the agencies you're pitching. Research some of the most recent books the agency represented.


Were they action-oriented (e.g. plot-driven) or character-driven? Your query will need to whet the agent's appetite based on his/her taste - and what they think your book will be about. If your book is plot-driven but your query focuses on sketching out the character, they'll likely get the wrong idea.


Second, learn from the feedback you get. Even rejections can be helpful - and get you closer to an acceptance. If all the agents are saying they like the character but not the fact that you set it in the 1980s, you might need to change that in your query - and manuscript. If they all simply say, "no thanks" without any feedback, it's probably a sign that you need to revise your query (and/or manuscript).


Thirdly, if you get a lot of positive responses ("Great concept - just not a fit for our agency") then don't give up. I think my co-author and I queried 30 or 40 agencies before we got an offer of representation on our first book. I see too many authors give up after trying only 10 or 12 agents.




HANK: What's the biggest lesson you've learned as a full-time writer?



WENDY: Seize every opportunity - especially when you first start writing. I remember telling someone about a really high-paying writing gig I got and he said, "Wow. You have the best luck!" I thought, "Luck has nothing to do with it! I've worked hard to get where I am."




Later that week I read this great quote: "Luck is when preparation meets opportunity." It's absolutely true. And writing queries is only about luck in this sense. If you're prepared with a good query and/or manuscript, when the opportunity comes along you'll be successful.



HANK: Okay, who wrote the bad letters? Do tell.



WENDY: I did! And that was such fun. I've read - and written! - so many horrible ones over the years that it was a little too easy to craft them. But misery loves company and we ALL love to read really bad query letters, right?


HANK: But--there are all these rules.One page. Your own voice. Big hook. Your platform. And then the final rule is--be natural. Ahhhhh...what should writers know?


WENDY: I want them to remember that writing is fun. Sometimes new writers get so caught up in the procedures that they lose their original voice in a query. Don't bury your style under formalities and to-the-letter formatting.



HANK: Full disclosure--my query letter is in this book! And it was really fun to see it. (I didn't let Wendy get her hands on the one that tanked.)


Wendy graciously says she'll come chat and answer your questions! So maybe she can give you some guidance.


And Jungle Red is giving away two copies of TWDGTQL to commenters we'll choose at random.


So ask away--and maybe you'll win answers to ALL your questions!

And how does your query letter start? Published authors--we'd love to know! Yet-to-be-published--have you figured that out yet?

(Thanks to Epicurienne for the typewriter photo!)

How to grow an author platform: Christina Katz

Christina Katz's reputation precedes her. I first heard about her from Writers Digest Books editor extraordinaire Jane Friedman who was raving about this hot-shot writer who was absolutely amazing at promoting her work and creating community, and this was before her first book WRITER MAMA had even come out. In promoting WM into one of Writers Digest's bestsellers, Christina turned what she was--a mother--into that elusive gold we writers search for, "platform."

Now she's written GET KNOWN BEFORE THE BOOK DEAL, a guide for other writers who want to turn their personal strength into a winning, book-selling platform.

Welcome, Christina!

JR: What exactly is a platform and why do writers need one...before the deal?
CK: A platform is a promise, which says you will not only create something to sell (a book), but also promote it to the specific readers who will want to purchase it. Agents and editors have known this for years and they look for platform-strong writers and getting them book deals. If you want to land the book deal today, then you need to be a platform-strong writer.

Your platform communicates your expertise to others, and it works all the time so you don’t have to. Your platform includes your Web presence, any public speaking you do, the classes you teach, the media contacts you’ve established, the articles you’ve published, and any other means you currently have for making your name and your future books known to a viable readership. If others already recognize your expertise on a given topic or for a specific audience or both, then that is your platform. A platform-strong writer is a writer with influence. When you sign a book contract, you promise to use your platform to sell your book. But you can’t deliver on that promise unless you start in advance—long before you even pitch a book.

JR: Most of us don't realize we need a platform until our book is about to come out. How did you know you needed to create one for yourself when you wrote WRITER MAMA, and how did you go about it?
CK: I was fortunate by the time WM came out that I’d been cultivating my platform for three and a half years. For me, platform-development is not only instinctive; it’s fun. My platform-in-progress was instrumental in landing the deal for WM. I say platform-in-progress because writers often forget that platform is active, it’s what you do, not what you’ve done. When I pitched WM, I was already a freelance writer and a writing teacher, and that was good because my publisher likes to work with writing teachers.

But I needed speaking experience, so as soon as I signed my book contract I started looking for speaking opportunities to beef up my credentials. Whereas I used to have to pitch myself to get a speaking gig, now about half the time I am invited by people who have heard about me. That’s two years of practice starting to pay off and that’s the way we all need to think. “How can ramp up my platform to increase my reach when my book comes out?” The way to do that is by identifying your expertise, clarifying what you offer, and putting it to work.

JR: Is there a single most important thing authors need to do to build a platform?
CK: When you think about the fact that about 500 books are published each day in this country, you realize that having a book is NOT going to set you apart from anybody.

So, the first thing you need to know is what makes you and your expertise unique and communicate that. If you don’t know who you are and what you uniquely offer, how is anyone else going to know? I call this your identity, not branding, because that word is so grossly overused these days.

JR: What I love about your book is that there are so many suggestions for exactly how to do this. What's the biggest mistake to-be-published authors make?
CK: Not taking 100% responsibility for their writing careers. My mission is to try to get every writer who aspires to book publication to realize this in advance of the book deal. Thinking that anyone else is ever going to care as much as you do. Trust me, they won’t. And then you’ll be disappointed and looking for someone to blame. It’s been fashionable for a long time to blame the publicist at your publisher.

I remember before my first book came out, I read the line, “No one cares is you’ve written a book,” and I didn’t believe it. Then I wrote a book and I found out it’s true.You have to know why others should care and be able to communicate the reasons concisely. If you don’t know what your expertise is—and even more specifically what your niche topic is within that larger body of expertise—then you are just going to be a writer lost in a crowd of writers, an author lost in a crowd of authors.

JR: What social- and/or book-oriented on-line communities do you recommend most for authors?
CK: Facebook and Twitter are really interesting right now but the list for social networks for authors is long. And, of course, you never know how folks will hear about you, so you may as well get your face and your expertise out there as much as possible.

It’s fine to spend most of your time on Facebook, if that’s your favorite social network, but don’t neglect MySpace, Squidoo, Twitter, Red Room, Shelfari, Goodreads, Linkedin, etc. Because of the clickable nature of the Internet, you never know how someone will find you. It only takes about a half hour to get set up on any site, just be sure to visit occasionally to touch base and keep your info up to date.

JR: What are the special challenges for fiction writers building a platform?
CK: fiction/memoir/children’s writer will often spin off a series of topics they can explore to help promote themes they’ve already written about and hope to sell in book form. For example, novelist Marc Acito wrote "How I Paid For College, A Novel of Sex, Theft, Friendship & Musical Theater. Afterwards," it made sense for him to write and teach and speak on how to write humorous fiction or how to write a page-turner. Note how specific his topics were. He spun them off after mastering them in his process.

Other things fiction writers often learn about involve: place, a topic from their research, a time period, a truth or phenomenon, universal human themes, a particular time or phase every person experiences (like coming of age), or the creative process itself. These can become promotional opportunities (sometimes even paying ones) that spark book sales.

JR: Are there any types of writers who don’t need a platform?
CK: Yes. Only writers who want to establish themselves as professional writers, who aspire to publish a book or a self-published book need to concern themselves with platform development, in my opinion. If you are writing for other reasons, such as to heal, to connect with friends and family, or just for pleasure, then probably you don’t need a platform.

JR: When you're done platform building, how do you find time to write?
CK: My career goes in cycles. I have periods that focus on writing followed by periods that focus on self-promotion. I’m in a promo cycle right now and it’s fun! And I’m still writing plenty. I have noticed that these supposed “non-writing times,” often yield the next book idea and that has been the case again this time. I can’t wait to pitch it!

If a writer allows platform development to be an integrated aspect of her writing career, I’m sure she will find that the two efforts really do feed into each other and help her career to grow naturally and authentically. What writer wouldn’t want that?

Now for our Jungle Red Quiz:

Miss Marple or Hercule Poirot?
Miss Marple. I’m a feminist.

Sex or violence?
Definitely sex.

Pizza or chocolate?
Chocolate all the way. Preferably dark.

Daniel Craig or Pierce Brosnan?
Neither. Robert Downey Jr.

Facebook or MySpace?
Love my Facebook friends!

Katharine Hepburn or Audrey Hepburn?
Oh, Katherine. Admire her Yankee spunk.

Your favorite non-mystery book?

Dorothy Allison’s Bastard Out of Carolina. She should have won the National Book Award that year.

Making dinner or making reservations?
Reservations for three, though we usually just show up.

And now tell us four things about you that no one knows. Only three can be true. We'll guess.

I have a tattoo on my right hip.

My cats names are Mercury, Buddha, Devo, and Mama.

My degree is in fiction, though I write primarily nonfiction.

My true hair color is increasingly silver.

NOW IT'S YOUR TURN -- Post your questions about platform building today and tomorrow and Christina will be on JRW to answer them.

The First of Rhys's Pieces!

"Procrastination is the thief of time."
"I'm busy doing nothing, working the whole day through, Trying to find lots of things not to do!"

The photo is one of my favorite ways of procrastinating (whoops, I mean doing research for my next book): holding a formal afternoon tea party with my friends.

This is my first post with the Jungle Red Babes. I'm excited to be joining them.Of course I needed another online time consumer like a hole in the head. I'm already writing two books a year, one of which requires tons of research. And then I glibly promise short stories to magazines and anthologies, which have to be squeezed in somewhere. Of course I love doing all these things, or I wouldn't do them.

But like many writers, when it comes down to it, I would do anything rather than actually sit down and write. Which makes this whole internet thing so enticing. I started off with DorothyL, the online mystery discussion group, and with reading my emails. Then I was invited to join various other Yahoo groups, all of which send me a daily digest to be read, digested and answered. That was bad enough,but then came blogs, and Twitter, and Goodreads, and Crimespace and Book Place and Blogbooktours...eek! What with all of those and checking my Amazon stats to see if it's a day of gladness or despair, and checking the forum on my website to see if anyone's chatting there, it's a wonder I find any time to write at all.

The sad truth is that I was good at procrastination even before the days of the internet. In those days it was throwing a load in the washer, or walking around the garden pulling the dead heads off roses. I still do those things when the writing is not going smoothly. I find that sometimes ideas need time to percolate in my head before they can be put down on paper. And I justify my internet time by arguing that I used to write everything long hand, so it took me twice as long. Many times as long, actually, as the handwriting had to be deciphered and then typed neatly and I was the world's worst typist on those old machines. Much swearing and muttering ensued as I reached for the White Out.

Supposedly we do all these online activities because they help promote our books and get our name out there. But in reality it's more than that. I enjoy the company of the friends I hang out with online. Being stuck in a little room writing is lonely. I am a social being and I love being able to chat with friends every morning. One of the most amazing things about being a mystery writer is the closeness and warmth of the mystery community. When I started writing mysteries I didn't expect to make so many true friends--not just social contacts but people with whom I share my secrets and worries.

So I welcome this new diversion and new chance to make friends, and I'm asking my fellow Jungle Reds--do you think procrastination is a disease that strikes all writers? Would we all do anything rather than write? What ways do you find to procrastinate?

(here I am procrastinating,escaping,relaxing in another of my favorite ways--hiking with friends. This was in Sedona)


JAN: Well Rhys, I'm the first one to see we had a new blog file and contribute, so I'm pretty sure I'm the number#1 procrastinator. At the moment, though, I'm procrastinating from promotion rather than writing, which only goes to prove, I'll procrastinate whenever there's a task at hand.
But I agree with you, the Internet is an especially enticing procrastination tool for a writer because it's all about writing. You can write in a fun, undisciplined way that doesn't require any real problem solving and if you're good enough, you can even convince yourself you are working! On days when I really have to write, I won't let myself check my mail until AFTER I've finished. I find once I start, I can't stop!! Off to sign up for Twitter....

HANK: Hey Rhys! So delighted to have you as a blog sister. And as for procrastination--well, I have to admit, I'm not much of a procrastinator.

(I know RO is hooting now, I can just hear her.)

I have a chart of how many words a day I have to write, and how many total for the week. When I sit down in the chair, if I'm tempted to read my email, or do some on-line shopping, or change the shelf paper in the kitchen (right), I just say to myself fine, do it, go ahead. But I say to myself, you're going to do your words for the day now, or you're going to do them later, and it's your call. And as a result, I generally just do it. (And I only let myself check my email on the hour.)

The key is, I plan when I'm going to worry. I try to do away with free-floating anxiety. Let's say I have a speech to write, for an event a month away. I'm not going to write the speech now, that's much too soon. So I say--on the Tuesday before the speech, that's when I'm going to make an appointment with myself to write it. And before that, I'm not going to worry about it one bit. (Of course, I mull over the topic, but in a relaxed and no-pressure way). It works!
I had just realized I was spending too much time worrying about how I had too much to do. So I just deleted the worry time!

RHYS: Scheduling time to worry! Why didn't I think of that, instead of waking at three a.m, staring at the ceiling and letting all those woulda, shoula,coulda thoughts fly around my head. Okay, from now on Monday mornings will be dedicated to worry, the rest of the week is worry-free.And I do give myself a number of pages to be completed each day so I always make my deadlines, one way or another!

ROBERTA: Rhys, love this topic, it's helping me avoid a new chapter opening as we speak! Jan, not sure you can claim #1 procrastinator title. I would have been here first but I was busy setting up a Facebook account. Now that is something I've avoided for years, but I was running out of things to check in order to keep from actually writing.

And Hank, your techniques are marvelously compulsive! As a psychologist, I definitely approve of setting aside specific time to worry. And you handle yourself very nicely, telling yourself you can do it now or do it later! Seems like that should work for ankle-biters too:).

My worst downfall is email. My writer sister was appalled when she saw that I have my system set up to chime every single time an email hits the inbox. I know I should turn it off, but I haven't made myself do it. Maybe if Hank were to lay down the law...

HALLIE: I'm with Roberta, biggest culprit is email.I know it's really become a sickness when I put off replying to an email because I don't want the time stamp to show that I'm checking my email every ten seconds.

RO: Hallie, isn't the trick to that to Keep as New? I have some emails from weeks ago that I hope to respond to one day. Hi Rhys! Welcome! See, I procrastinated so long about welcoming you that I'm doing it now.. a little late but just as sincere.

Ah yes, the actual writing part of this business. I wish I could say I was like Hank..so organized and such a worker...it's just this side of scary how good she is. I always feel more focused and productive after hanging out with Hank. Then, unfortunately, it goes away. I, on the other hand, have been known to stop writing if there is a really nice bird outside my window (which means I need to get the binocs, check my life list, the Audubon guide, etc.) So I guess you could say I take almost any opportunity to interrupt myself. (What! You say they've posted the scores from the synchronized swimming competition? I must see them!)

RHYS: Great to know that I'm in the company of fellow procrastinators--why else would we all have joined a blog?And I see that Jungle Red often asks our guest bloggers to give ourtrageous facts about themselves and have people decide which ones are true. So I thought I'd start off with some ourtrageous facts of my own:

1. I sang with Simon and Garfunkel

2. I wanted to be a lion tamer when I was a child

3. I traveled across Europe alone at the age of 12

4. I used to be manager of a rock group.

5. I once mooned a passing train
Okay, so which are true and which are the result of my creative imagination?

Thanks again for welcoming me so warmly,

Rhys

On summer's end

Deep summer is when laziness finds respectability. ~Sam Keen

JAN: I biked down to South Beach this morning to get my last glimpse of the ocean before heading home. And now I'm laundering beach towels and packing up coolers with all the windows and doors open so I can get my fill of sea breezes.

And you know what I feel? Relief.

I loved the crystal clear days, the strong sun, the stars at night. But now? Enough of that.

How can I focus on the right name for a character or the clearest definition if all I want to do is get on my bike and ride to the beach? How can I puzzle out a workable plot when someone needs a fourth for doubles on a beautiful day? Clearly to get anything done, I need a chill outside, lots of clouds, and preferably a downpour.

In fact, I do my best writing between January and March just because the weather is so bad. Obviously, I have issues with self-discipline -- I've had to remove Solitaire from every computer I've ever had. I also get bored easily, have little tolerance for routine, and need a change in seasons just so I don't have to eat barbequed food for another eight months.

So it could just be me, but does anyone else look forward to cold weather for its positive effect on productivity?.

ROBERTA: Funny that you're so patient with slogging through tedious or difficult reading, Jan! You saw with Friday's post how much I'll regret the end of the summer produce season. (that's me, eating first!) We had to pull our cucumber plants out, and the zucchini, and the beans are looking peaked. And like Hallie, I hate winter. The thing that bothers me even more than the cold is the light. Or lack of it, I should say. It gets dark here in Connecticut by 4:30 in the worst part of the season. And that makes me feel like hibernating, not writing.

HALLIE: So THAT'S why I haven't gotten but a piddling amount of my new book written for the last three months!

For me, end of summer means college starts and my husband goes back to work. Which is one fewer distraction in the house but no one to hang out with at lunch. The worst thing about summer ending is winter is not far off. I hate hate hate winter. Hate ice, hate snow, hate being cold cold cold.

Ro: Summer started late for me and in the past few years it's ended late. In September I rent a house in Wellfleet. Most of the other renters and tourists have gone home and I get to pretend that I live in a small town with a general store that just happens to have a beach outside. The restaurants start to close and as the days go by there a fewer and fewer people on the road and on the beach. It's wonderful. I finished my first book at the house so it will always be special to me.For me the worst thing about the summer ending is that everything else is going to come so fast...Bouchercon, Crimebake, holidays, then the conferences start...aaayyyy!!

HANK: A box arrived at our porch in mid-July. Usually I'm the one who orders things, but I wasn't expecting a parcel. My husband said--oh, this is a surprise for us. Huh.

Inside was a turquoise blue two-person swimming pool float. Like a floating double chaise, where the two people are facing each other as they float. It's perfect for reading, and even has little spaces that are just the size of a diet coke bottle. Heaven.

All my vacation, 17 wonderful days from mid August til Labor Day, I'd write in the morning, we'd have lunch by the pool, then I'd come back in and write til 4. Then from 4 to 6--floating and reading.

Today, we're putting our float away. (After the football game, Jonathan says.)

Sigh. My white skirt is looking tired. Gin and tonics seem a little too chilly. My bathing suit is hanging on the shower rack, and hasn't budged for a week. We cook inside. Transition is transitioning.

But the dahlias are still blooming like mad. And the air is clear and dry. And I don't have to face a new math teacher or clique of classmates. I like it.

JAN: Oh dear, Hank. Now you're making me miss summer, when I was so determined to do away with it. But I must remind myself that the swimming pool float would be useless to me -- what without the pool. And of course, as you remind me, Patriots are on this afternoon -- and although I don't watch football -- I do make nachos at halftime. A perfect transition!

dave white

He was just nominated for a Shamus award for this first book, When One Man Dies (2007) and we were able get Dave to come to Jungle Red to talk about his new book, The Evil That Men Do. He is among the youngest winners of the Derringer Award, and has contributed to many anthologies and collections, including The Adventure of the Missing Detective and Damn Near Dead. Dave lives in my hometown in New Jersey, and has the courage to teach middle-school English.

JAN: Tell us about your protagonist, Jackson Donne, how you dreamt him up and how he has evolved through your two books? He seems to be a reluctant investigator, which for me makes him more interesting. Why did you develop him that way?

DAVE: Jackson Donne was born when I was in college. I was trying to do things a little different, show that Jackson was younger. So--thinking I was REALLY clever--I had him have a dead fianceé instead of dead wife.

I liked writing stories about him in a college setting and, since I went to Rutgers, it was easy to research. That's how he started, at least.

Donne's evolved since then, through the short stories, and then through the two novels. By the end of When One Man Dies, he's been stripped of his PI license, so he can't really work. Something has to draw him into a case.

So, yes, he's very reluctant in The Evil That men Do--even more so than he is in my first book. And there are lots of reasons for that. My guess is that if you're a PI, and you've been involved in as many deaths and shootings that Donne had been in the short stories, you're going to get some press. And not good press. The people that knock on your door are going to be looking for someone to help with the dirty and violent stuff. Not something you want to be involved in on a regular basis.

And since the last case he gets into before The Evil That Men Do basically destroys whatever shreds of life he has left, I don't think he'd be willing to do that sort of thing again. He's learning from his cases. He's learning that they only screw him up.There are three things I'm looking to explore with Jackson Donne. His family's past, his relationship to the cops he put away, and his mental state. The first two novels do both of those things. Fortunately, I feel there are still more of those aspects I can explore. So, Donne will keep evolving.

JAN: Dave and I are almost related, in that his uncle was one of my brother’s best friends and helped me clean up after wild parties when my parents went away. When I read Dave’s first novel, I was transported back home. Tell us how you exploit New Jersey as a backdrop.

DAVE: New Jersey is a GREAT place to set a crime novel. First of you have everything -- big cities (Philly and NYC) nearby, farms and forests to the south, (we are the Garden state) and bustling suburbia --which is what I like to write about. You can almost set anything in this state. And NJ is wonderfully corrupt in certain areas, so a crime novel is not a stretch of the imagination. That said, I'd love to be able to push some images about NJ across that show it's better than what people say about it. Which I believe it is. I love NJ and wouldn't want my stories to take place anywhere else.

JAN: Since you are an English teacher, did you toy around with Shakespearean plays or other writing first? Or did you always know you wanted to write mysteries? Also, since you started with short stories, tell us the pluses and minuses of the two forms of storytelling.

DAVE: Ha! I never tried my hand any plays or poems or anything of that nature. Every once in a while I'd sit down and say "Okay, this is going to be my coming of age love story. Not a crime story." And then ten pages later, I have a dead body. It just keeps happening. I love the crime genre. The first story I ever had published was a Sherlock Holmes story I wrote in fourth grade. It got published in the school literary magazine, and I dug it up 3 years ago and published it on my blog. If you want to read it, get ready to cringe, but here's the link (http://jacksondonne.blogspot.com/2005/03/fourth-grade-fiction.html)

The plusses of short stories are two fold. I wrote them first and to be honest, they got me some attention. It was a way to attract readers, build somewhat of a buzz. (Not a huge buzz, but hey every little bit helps.) Plus, when you do one well, you get some nearly instant feedback. But novels, man, novels are so much more fun to me right now. I love following characters along for a year or so. And I love getting to that point where the novel climaxes and you can put some wacky twists in there, really try to surprise the readers.

Both short stories and novels are difficult, and rewarding, but in their own ways.

JAN: Do you write during the summer months when you’ve got a break from middle schoolers or do you write all year long? How do you produce a novel a year?

DAVE: I write whenever I can. It's a yearlong process. I try to get a lot done in the summer, but it's still the 1,000 words a day thing. I just don't feel as much pressure in the summer. During the school year I have to treat it as a second job. Get out of school at 3:30, go running, sit at home and write for two hours. I'm trying to write fast, but I would much rather write well. Having both would be key.

JAN: Well, I think all the awards and nominations you’ve been receiving would attest to the writing well part. I’m wondering, what do your students think about having a teacher who writes mysteries. Are they impressed? Do you include it in the curriculum? Or use mystery to help their writing??

DAVE: It's tough to tell. My students are a sarcastic, fun bunch (8th graders? Sarcastic?), but they don't really give a lot away about what they think about the writing stuff. I hope they think it's cool. I know a few of them went out and bought it. I do use mystery to help their writing and reading. We compare short stories in the genre. I use it to show the form of writing a story. There are lots of things I use it for.

JAN: Your blog (http://www.jacksondonneblogspot.com/) is hysterical, and if I remember correctly, you had a blog long before you had a novel. Did it help you develop an audience or find a publisher? Any advice for writers trying to break in?

DAVE: To be honest, I don't know how much the blog helped. It must have helped somewhat. It was definitely a way to get my name out there. I mean, I've had my share of blog stalkers. Two people impersonating Abe Vigoda (including on who started a blog "100 Reasons I Hate Dave White") and PlotBabyPlot (plotbabyplot.blogspot.com) who apparently are out to get me. I have no idea who they are, but I find it hilarious. I love that sort of stuff.

It also helps me because it puts the real me out there. The books are dark and at parts very humorless.That's not me. I'm a total goofball, and I want a way to put that out there too. And what's interesting is, publishers, agents, fans see that sort of thing, that people are reading and I'm sure that helps.

But my advice for up and coming writers is to forget the blog. Don't make that your first thing. The first thing to do is write. Write and finish some short stores, get them out there. Publish them where ever you can. Webzines, Magazines, anthologies. Whatever you can do. Then blog The writing is the most important part. You can attract agents and publishers with the quality of your writing. The rest is fun.The rest is hoopdedoodle. The hoopdedoodle comes last. Being a writer means sitting down, doing it, and most importantly FINISHING IT. You'll never get half a novel published. So, the key--obviously--is to write it.

JAN: Thanks Dave, for visiting Jungle Red and more importantly, for teaching me the word hoopdedoodle. (it's a great word)

And to show what a good sport, he is, Dave agreed to take the Jungle Red Quiz!

Miss Marple or Hercule Poirot?
It’s always been Poirot for me. Pretty much because he’s the French version of the Penguin. Instead of “awk awk”-ing, he say “haw haw.” And he’s smart.

Sex or violence?

Heh. In books or in real life? I mean… the answer’s kind of obvious isn’t it? In terms of real life. However, in books, since I write noir-ish/hardboiled crime fiction, I like me some violence.

Pizza or chocolate?

Thin crust pizza from any Jersey thin crust pizza place. (The Emerson Hotel gets my nod.)

Daniel Craig or Pierce Brosnan?

As Bond? Daniel Craig. As a sex symbol… er… I don’t really have a choice, though in the later Bond movies, Pierce was starting to get a martini gut.

Katherine Hepburn or Audrey Hepburn?

Considering the only movie with either of them I’ve seen all the way through is Charade, I’m going with Audrey. Plus she’s hotter… and when she talks, she doesn’t sound like a car struggling to start.

First person or Third Person?

Originally first, lately third.

Prologue or no prologue?

No prologue. Unless you’re a writer who can pull it off. AKA, Dave hedges his bets. Your favorite non-mystery book?Well my two favorite novels are THE GREAT GATSBY and THE SUN ALSO RISES—both of which you can probably argue are some sort of hardboiled story in a way.

Making dinner or making reservations?

I like to grill… bratwurst, burgers, steak, chicken, turkey burgers. But I also like to go out. Man at this point, I’m just really bad at picking one thing, aren’t I? I’ll go summer time—make dinner—winter time, go out to eat.

And now, the part everyone was waiting for:

Tell us four things about you that no one knows. Only three can be true. We'll search for the fraud.
1. I’ve been banned from entering Canada
2. I really stink at beer pong.
3. I like the movie You’ve Got Mail.
4. I spent the night in jail for breaking a business shop’s window.

On scars

There is something beautiful about all scars of whatever nature. A scar means the hurt is over, the wound is closed and healed, done with.” Harry Crews

JAN: I'm not one to cherish the wrinkles on my face or laugh lines around my eyes, but I have to say that I'm terribly fond of my non-facial scars. The one in the photo is not mine, but I've got a terrific caesarian section scar, so small that I can still wear a bikini, and yet the avenue of birth for two healthy kids -- one weighing in at ten pounds four ounces.

There's also an impressive scar on my ankle that reminds me how tough I can be with a little vodka. My sister-in-law and I were on Round Island in New York with small kids to watch when I cut my ankle deeply with glass. Rather than go to a hospital and get the stitches I needed, the oral surgeon in the vacation house next door cleaned it by pouring dish detergent into it. (apparently the best household disinfectant). On his advice, my sister-in-law braced me with a shot of vodka -- which believe me, I needed because it was excruciating. But I survived.

But my favorite scar is a little half moon barely visible on my right wrist. I was about eight years old and I walked to the candy store during the school lunch break. Someone told me the popcorn machine was broken and there was change inside. I plunged my hand into the machine, not once, but twice, to get about fifty cents in change (a lot of money then). The second time I went in too far, and came out with my wrist bleeding. I think I got a Bandaid from the school nurse, but I still have the scar -- a lifelong lesson about greed.

Do you guys have any scars you cherish?

HALLIE: Yes, well, I prefer thinking of them as laugh lines, not wrinkles; and as my daughter once told me, that's not gray in your hair, it's sparkles.

Yes, I have a Caesarean scar, too, but mine's big and ugly. Long story. And you know what, I never think twice about it. Because I got it giving birth to two fabulous daughters who've kept me in stitches ever since (sorry, lame joke).

RO: Well there's the one on the knuckle of my left index finger which taught me not to have a few beers and then try to chop firewood. Then there are the chicken pox scars on my forehead which sentenced me to a lifetime of bangs. I recently learned to love those because there's a tribe in Tanzania, the Wagogo, who mark themselves on the forehead with little circles, and when I travelled there the women noticed and called me sister.

But my favorite scar is almost faded now. I got it the day before school started. I was going into the fifth grade and I was riding on the back of my sister's bicycle. She got too close to a brick wall and I overreacted and pulled my foot in and it got caught in the spokes of the wheel. I got a lot of mileage out of that in school the next day. The other kids thought I was pretty brave,..or adventurous..or something. Now it reminds me of how much fun I used to have with my sister.

ROBERTA: I guess I've been lucky with mishaps--I really can only think of one scar: a small curve at the base of my right pointer finger, sort of like a Nike swish. No dramatic story, but I can remember exactly how I got it. I was washing a glass during my senior year at college and it broke with my hand in it. Off to the campus health center for three stitches. Internal scars--those I could list! But wouldn't this be an interesting discussion to have about our characters? And the photo you posted Jan is very eerie. Each of us could write a story about that one...

HANK: Jan, you can wear a bikini? Hooray for you! Anyway. I have a scar on my knee--from running down the driveway, in a panic, to catch the school bus, when I was about--8? And completely wiping out on gravel. To the hooting and hollering of the kids on the bus. Went to school with a bleeding knee and a bruised ego.

I have a slash on my leg from when a horse decided it would be more fun for him if I got off--so he tried to scrape me off by rubbing me gainst the fence.

I have a scar on one finger from when I was playing with one of Mom's purses when I was little. I don't know exactly how it happened, but I really got in trouble.

But my favorite is a tiny round burn scar (okay, that sounds weird but go with me here) on my right little finger--which I got pouring tea at Katherine Graham's house. (late of the Washington Post.) It was in the 70's, I was working at Rolling Stone, and I was there for an interview (a fun story but too long for now.) It hurt LIKE CRAZY but I pretended nothing happened.

Lessons? Hmm. Do scars result when you--really want something?

JAN: That photo is eerie, A major wound that looks like it has violence behind it. Perfect for a murder mystery. And I agree, a good way to understand your characters is to delve into their scars -- external and internal!

Please come share your tales of injuries endured and lessons learned.

You're a Winner!

"You can't win if you don't play."
state lottery advertisement

JAN: I've run a contest on my website ever since I put up a website, but for the first time, one of my contests was advertised on a popular online sweepstaks website and I received hundreds of entrants. Some of these entrants appear to be semi-professional contest enterers. They have screennames like Winsbig or Sweeps5000. This amazes me.

Here's why.I've realized that I'm actually afraid of most contests. In fact, one of the first screenplays I ever wrote was a comedy about a woman whose life was ruined by winning the Downy Flake Donut sweepstakes. And A Confidential Source was about how gambling can ruin your life. So deep down, I clearly have some sort of fear about the consequences of easy money. A Catholic thing? A Polish thing? Who can tell?

But it could also be a journalist thing. Because I've written about so many swindles, I don't trust anyone. I'll buy a raffle at a local fundraiser, but anyone who offers me any kind of prize by mail, phone or Internet, I don't trust. I can't tell you how many three-day cruises to the Bahamas and free IPODS have passed me by. In reality, these people want to sell me a time share or want my email address. What's so horrible about that? Still, I marvel at my fearless entrants. But how about the rest of you? Am I the only sweep-a-phob out there? Or has everyone else won their free laptop, and turned into a real player (pronounced play-AHS if you are in New England)?

RO: The only contest I've entered in recent memory was the Al Blanchard contest, (I didn't win, but the lovely and talented Pat Remick did, so I didn't feel so bad) but other than that, I'm just not the contest type. I don't buy lottery tickets either. I don't want anything, I have too much stuff already.

Now that I think of it, Pat turned me on to the Erma Bombeck humor (writing) contest a couple of years ago. I didn't win that either. That's it. I'm done.

JAN: Well I'm off to print out my list of contest entrants and draw a name from a hat. Although I eschew contests myself, it's awful fun to inform people that they are winners..

On Laundry

“After enlightenment, the laundry.” Zen Proverb

JAN: I have a good friend who must do laundry every morning because she can't stand the smell of dirty laundry accumulating in her hamper.

I have another good friend who launders her towels after every single use because the idea of them drying on the towel rack illicits frightening fears of mold.

Me? I'm always somewhat surprised that there is any laundry. I did it last week, didn't I? I always feel that I've been hoodwinked, swindled even, to find that its back again, demanding attention.

In fact, until I learned of my friend's hypersensitivity, I wasn't even aware that dirty laundry sitting in a bedroom hamper smelled bad. Certainly not if you keep the top closed and walk past really fast - which is advisable, anyway, if you are trying to ignore it.

I'm one of those people who forgets about the laundry until it's undeniable that the hamper lid isn't going to shut anymore. Then, I engage in what I call the laundry festival. I do about five or six non-stop loads of laundry, and feel a sense of accomplishment as the sorted mounds of dirty clothes on the kitchen floor slowly disappear.

Some might call me a procrastinater, but I like to think that I prefer the satisfaction of solving the major disaster of backed-up laundry, over the minor challenge of keeping up with it.

But I also think it's the way I write my books. As Hallie can testify, my chapters are a complete mess up until the very end. When I'm focusing on plot, I can't pay attention to double periods or typos. Half the time I don't even see the errors or realize I've switched tenses. I clean up my book in one big laundry festival at the end.

So my question is this: Are there any everyday task metaphors that mirror your writing style? If we are what we eat, are we also what we fold and put away?

ROBERTA: I love doing laundry. It's such a small job with a satisfying reward--neat stacks of clean clothes instead of a big messy, smelly pile. (And by the way, Jan, if you keep the hamper in your husband's closet, your smell problem could be solved!) Unfortunately, though clean laundry is necessary and it feels good to have it done, tackling it doesn't solve my major household/life organization problems.

My writing style mimics this problem exactly. Once I have a couple of pages written (that's the pile of dirty clothes,) I'd much rather go back over those, tweaking and reworking each word, than forge on ahead. Rewriting gives me the same satisfaction as folding clean clothes and putting them away. But it's not the answer to my bigger problem: advancing the book.

HALLIE: Ah, laundry. Ever since I turned my husband's underwear pink...for the third time...he does his own. And I have no idea how that black crayon got into the sheet wash. Since then he's taken over laundering sheets and towels, too. My daughter Naomi comes home to do her laundry and prohibits me from taking it out of the drier because, according to her, I can't fold. She's right. I'm just not a stacker or a folder or a neatener-up. I tolerate mess and untidiness up to a point, and then I have a straightening melt down. It's ugly.

For me, the laundry of writing is outlining. I can go along happily and haphazardly writing (aka making a mess)up to a point, but when I feel the book veering out of control, I revise my outline to see where I am...then hack away at my overgrown manuscript until it conforms to some kind of order.

RO: Uh, I don't do the laundry very often. My cleaning lady does it. Now if only I could get her to write the books too, then she'd really be worth the dough I pay her.

So maybe the best metaphor for me is cleaning out my closets - I do occasionally throw stuff out, sometimes boxes of it, but more likely I will agonize over every article of clothing I own, relive the good or bad times I had in it, and then decide whether or not it gets another shot or goes in the Goodwill bag. Lots of things go to the back of the closet to be resurrected again at a later date. Pretty much the same with my editing process.

HANK: Writing has competely changed my connection with laundry. Now, my husband does it. Yes, he does, and I'm sure it's out of sheer self preservation. Because I'd be at the computer saying--yes, I'll do it in just a sec. Really, honey, just let me finish this one part...then of course, hours later, no laundry.

He's great it at, which I think is adorable. Since he's not really the laundry type. But I always fold. ( Eventually. And, to be honest, I fold everything except the fitted sheets which I know were designed to drive people into a rage. Those I kind of...wrap.)

Anyway--you know what I LOVE? Ironing. Even though I hardly ever do it anymore. And maybe that's the perfectionist in me. In writing, I love that final edit process, where you get to find the kinks and wrinkles and glitches, and smooth everything out until it looks beautiful.

JAN: In the rare instances that I do it I also find an odd satisfaction in ironing. But but no real love. Similarly, while I'm not really crazy about the final edit process. there is something comforting about it. If only because the worst is over....the heavy lifting/laundry is done!