Sumer is Icumen In

HANK: Lhude sing--its driving me cuccoo! Flo and Eddy, the ducks that arrive every spring in out backyard pool are here. So that's a delightful herald of the new season. (It's their sixth or seventh year with us. It brings tears of happiness to my eyes to see them return.)

And yes, it's wonderful that it's nice and sunny--the sun feels so comforting and lulling after the harsh winter. It's a treat to go outside and not have to battle the weather. And it's too early in the season to be complaining about the heat.

But there's that pre-summer to-do list. Do you have one? Of course being on the list doesn't mean it's going to get accomplished. But the list is haunting me, following me around, shooting its evil and relentless little reminders at me as I try to ignore it.

Change my closet from winter clothes to summer clothes. Figure out what has to go to the dry cleaners, and figure out how it's even possible to afford to buy my cleaned clothes back from them. (If it prevents those skeevy disgusting moths, so be it. Worth it.)

Look at my bathing suit. Ignore it.

The windows in our house need washing. So do the screens. Now that the sun is shining, all the smeary leftover gunk from the shadowy winter is in full back-lit relief. Can I just ignore that, too?

Clean the patio furniture. Get sunscreen. Bug spray. Yank out the grill. Make sure there's tonic water for gin and tonics. (Wait, this is sounding better.) Scout for fresh corn. (not yet, not yet...) Fill the house with peonies (not yet, not yet.) And it's just one month until PRIME TIME comes out!

Hey. This began as a list of annoying to-dos. But now I'm getting excited. I'm not wishing the time away. But this'll be fun.

As soon as I change the closet.

How about you? What's on your summer to-do list? (Will you actually do it?)

JAN: What I want to know is WHY changing the closets and drawers takes an entire day?? Are my closets and drawers telling me I buy too many clothes, and wear too few of them??

I've washed the windows (YAY!) done some planting (I hate gardening, but love fresh herbs), and did a half-baked job of changing the closets. For me the most important pre-summer ritual, is switching to summer tennis, which means signing up for the USTA teams and getting in shape for some singles (HAH!)

I also have to start researching for my trip to France. How can a reporter who LOVES research, hate it and procrastinate when the research involves something fun like travel? I'm not sure but I think a good shrink would have field day with it.

HALLIE: As I'm just back from a 3-week vacation, my to-do list is endless... beginning with mow the lawn, weed the garden (already!), refill the bird bath, put flower pots on the patio, and yes, wash windows. Honestly, I haven't bought an item of clothing that needs to be dry-cleaned in years, so never mind all that, and I never reorganize the closet...there's too little in there and I know it all well. Just bought myself a new bathing suit and a decent pair of sandals and I'm ready to welcome summer!

HANK: Oh, Hallie—welcome home! And we want photos. And only you could say “just bought myself a new bathing suit” without a trace of irony or terror. But that’s a blog for another day.

Happy Memorial Day. Or--thoughtful Memorial Day, I guess is more appropriate.

Summer to-dos? What are we forgetting?

On sales pressure

When my husband read aloud the lead to this story from the Boston Globe, I could picture it immediately. A Lawrence school principal, ecstatic about her first romance novel being published, knocked herself out trying to sell her staff on it. Infuriating everyone.

I felt for the principal, poor Beth Gannon. Authors get a little giddy when their first novel is published. She had learned what we all suddenly had to learn: the objective isn't just about getting our work into print -- as we originally thought -- but into our reader's hands.

They tell you, in new-author-school, that it all starts locally. So even if we have a more sophisticated media campaign, we still begin by telling our friends when our new books will be out, alerting our local papers and making a big deal of our book's launch date.

But I also felt for Beth Gannon's faculty. The first time I went to Bouchercon, the mystery world's largest and most prestigious conference, I found myself trapped on an elevator with some author I'd never met before who immediately gave me the hard sell on his new mystery. He practically whipped out his credit card swiper. It took all my creative skills to politely decline.
So despite the official reason Gannon was put on leave --apparently her self-published romance novel , Crazy Fortunes, has steamy sex and illegal drug use -- I don't think that's the real reason she's being rebuked. Or at least, that's not the reason I'd scold her. So far, no one has actually charged her with trying to sell her novel to the elemetary school students. I think her real crime was crossing the sales etiquette line. Pressing a little too hard, a little too often, and just a tad overzealously.

You could argue that she was using her principal position to make staff feel they had no choice but to buy her book -- there's an issue about her reassigning to a different school a teacher who complained about her sales tactics - but maybe that was just cooincidence. Maybe Gannon was just an overly enthusiastic new novelist going overboard trying to promote her work.

(Then, again, maybe this IS a sophisticated media campaign. Behaving badly and getting media coverage for it, might just be the ticket she needs to promote her book. The Boston Globe article keeps mentioning that steamy sex...and here I am, blogging about it.)

So what do you think? Should this woman lose her job over this? And have any of you every found yourself her staff's position, or my spot in the elevator? I, for one, really can't stand it when the supermarket clerk hits you for a charitible donation when she gives you your grocery bill. Even if it's my favorite charity, I resent the do-gooder pressure coming from the supermarket chain.

So are there sales etiquette rules that just shouldn't be breached? Any tips for Gannon when the sequel comes out?

http://www.boston.com/news/education/k_12/articles/2009/04/29/mass_principal_who_wrote_racy_book_put_on_leave/

ON Queries about Queries

Yeah, it's one of the things you don't find out til later.

You've written a wonderful book, a marvelous book, and you're getting ready to write the cool acknowledgment page and sign up for an author photo.

Waaaait a minit. First you've got to get an agent. THAT you know. And to snag your perfect agent, you suddenly find out need to write a query letter. A--sales pitch. That perfectly (but briefly) describes you and your book so irresisitibly that you'll have agent offers filling your email and mailbox.

The query letter. In the annals of writing, it goes down with the dreaded synopsis as the scourge.

But hey--we've snagged Wendy Burt Thomas. She has a new book that'll answer it all for us. It's called: The Writers Digest Guide to Query Letters.
(And its not just for novels--it's got info on non-fiction, and short stories, and magazines.)

And we're getting a sneak peek.

HANK: Query letters. We all cringe. How make-or-break is a query letter to an aspiring author's career?

WENDY: Breaking into the publishing world is hard enough right now. Unless you have a serious "in" of some kind, you really need a great query letter to impress an agent or acquisitions editor.

Essentially, your query letter is your first impression. If they like your idea (and voice and writing style and background), they'll either request a proposal, sample chapters, or the entire manuscript. If they don't like your query letter, you've got to pitch it to another agency/publisher. Unlike a manuscript, which can be edited or reworked if an editor thinks it has promise, you only get one shot with your query.

I see a lot of authors who spend months (or years) finishing their book, only to rush through the process of crafting a good, solid query letter. What a waste! If agents/editors turn you down based on a bad query letter, you've blown your chance of getting them to read your manuscript.

It could be the next bestseller, but they'll never see it. My advice is to put as much effort into your query as you did your book. If it's not fabulous, don't send it until it is.

HANK: You know, my first query letter, which I loved, got no no no no from every agent I sent it to. It focused on the main character. The second one--which was about exactly the same book--focused on the plot hook. I think I only changed the first paragraph. And everyone said yes. It was the same book! How do you know you've got it right?


WENDY: That's a tough one. There are a few things that will help your chances of landing an agent. First, make sure your book idea is a match for the agencies you're pitching. Research some of the most recent books the agency represented.


Were they action-oriented (e.g. plot-driven) or character-driven? Your query will need to whet the agent's appetite based on his/her taste - and what they think your book will be about. If your book is plot-driven but your query focuses on sketching out the character, they'll likely get the wrong idea.


Second, learn from the feedback you get. Even rejections can be helpful - and get you closer to an acceptance. If all the agents are saying they like the character but not the fact that you set it in the 1980s, you might need to change that in your query - and manuscript. If they all simply say, "no thanks" without any feedback, it's probably a sign that you need to revise your query (and/or manuscript).


Thirdly, if you get a lot of positive responses ("Great concept - just not a fit for our agency") then don't give up. I think my co-author and I queried 30 or 40 agencies before we got an offer of representation on our first book. I see too many authors give up after trying only 10 or 12 agents.




HANK: What's the biggest lesson you've learned as a full-time writer?



WENDY: Seize every opportunity - especially when you first start writing. I remember telling someone about a really high-paying writing gig I got and he said, "Wow. You have the best luck!" I thought, "Luck has nothing to do with it! I've worked hard to get where I am."




Later that week I read this great quote: "Luck is when preparation meets opportunity." It's absolutely true. And writing queries is only about luck in this sense. If you're prepared with a good query and/or manuscript, when the opportunity comes along you'll be successful.



HANK: Okay, who wrote the bad letters? Do tell.



WENDY: I did! And that was such fun. I've read - and written! - so many horrible ones over the years that it was a little too easy to craft them. But misery loves company and we ALL love to read really bad query letters, right?


HANK: But--there are all these rules.One page. Your own voice. Big hook. Your platform. And then the final rule is--be natural. Ahhhhh...what should writers know?


WENDY: I want them to remember that writing is fun. Sometimes new writers get so caught up in the procedures that they lose their original voice in a query. Don't bury your style under formalities and to-the-letter formatting.



HANK: Full disclosure--my query letter is in this book! And it was really fun to see it. (I didn't let Wendy get her hands on the one that tanked.)


Wendy graciously says she'll come chat and answer your questions! So maybe she can give you some guidance.


And Jungle Red is giving away two copies of TWDGTQL to commenters we'll choose at random.


So ask away--and maybe you'll win answers to ALL your questions!

And how does your query letter start? Published authors--we'd love to know! Yet-to-be-published--have you figured that out yet?

(Thanks to Epicurienne for the typewriter photo!)

On Charlie's Angels--On Steroids

Rarely does an author make such an impact in such a short span of time."
~Romantic Times Magazine

HANK: Charlie's Angels on steroids.

Can't you instantly picture it? And now you can read all about them in Jordan Dane's brand new book in her brand new SWEET JUSTICE series--EVIL WITHOUT A FACE.

You all know the scoop on Jordan: her three "No One" debut suspense novels came out back to back in 2008. They're suspenseful, gritty, intriguing--and darkly humorous. If you like Allison Brennan, and Carla Neggers, and Lisa Gardner (and who doesn't...?), Dane's books are right up your(dark and dangerous) alley.

But for all of her wild success, Jordan's ascent to bestsellerdom was not quick. Not easy. And she still seems a little--amazed by it all. Which is part of her charm.

She doesn't make a plot outline. She used to work in the oil and gas field. (Ask her what her motto was.) She and I both adore the very generous Sharon Sala. Jordan wrote her first book in--well, you won't believe how long it took her.

***And here are the magic words: Three winners! Jordan has graciously offered to give away three copies of EVIL WITHOUT A FACE to be chosen at random from those who leave a comment! Thanks, Jordan.

HANK: So, Jordan. Can you believe it?

JD: Hell, no. I feel like that kid who crawled under the tent at the circus to get in. Someone is going to find me and kick me out. This whole thing has been surreal like it’s happening to someone else. There were so many roads not taken too. I had turned down the first agent offer because it didn’t “feel” right. And I also turned down the first book offer that would have split up my first debut series. Very strange how things happen. That’s why I feel it’s so important for an author to follow their gut and believe in their voice.

HANK: Your books are so fast-paced, such page-turners, so tension-filled and exciting. I picture you at your desk, typing as fast as humanly possible, the stories and dialogue pouring out. Is that how it happens?

JD: Yes, that’s exactly how it happens. NOT! In reality I’m a nit picky editor of my own work (some might say compulsive) and I painstakingly choose each word as if my life depended on it. And with each new book I learn more about craft and about myself. Some parts of any book seem to flow easily while others are like giving birth to a bowling ball. Ouch! I wrote my debut book – NO ONE HEARD HER SCREAM – in six weeks while I was on medical leave after major surgery.

During my medical leave from my work in the energy industry, I was whizzing through three fully edited chapters a week, but I had time to think through the story and knew where I wanted to go, even though there were two complex plots woven into this story. (Since I don’t plot, this was a challenge, but I like challenges. Bring it on, sista!) I now write full time and retired early from my energy job, but the writing process doesn’t get any easier. I find that my mind never shuts off. I’m always working.

HANK: When people say wow, overnight success! Do you howl with laughter? Or just howl?

JD: I’m prone to howling in general, but yes.

The phrase—overnight success—usually induces a chuckle or two. I first got the idea to write a book in 2003 after being an avid reader for years. Writing had been a passion since I was a kid too. And for three and a half years—until I sold in June 2006—I wrote every night for three hours and longer on weekends, doing two jobs at one time. (My debut book was actually only the second suspense book I had written and my fourth manuscript.)

I joined writers’ groups, both online and local. And I attended writers’ conferences, submitted proposals to agents and publishing houses, and I entered national writing contests. I worked my writing like a business, a very serious endeavor.

I had gotten to the point of telling myself that if I never sold, I would still write because I had to. It had become a part of who I was and improved my quality of life so much. I had tapped into a creative side of my life that I had forgotten, but now didn’t want to let go. I wrote because I had to. Thank God Avon made an honest woman out of me.

HANK: So--tell all about the Sweet Justice series!

JD: I abso-friggin-lutely love this new thriller series – Sweet Justice. The initial idea came from my fascination with the way criminals have gotten smarter in how they perpetrate crimes. They’ve taken to online criminal acts and gone more anonymous and thus have become harder to prosecute when their crimes overlap law enforcement jurisdictions. I thought I could empower the reader to wield sweet justice through the lives of the three women in my new thriller series.

And the idea behind these three women came from a conversation I had with my editor who mentioned Charlie’s Angels. I told her I couldn’t see me doing Charlie’s Angels unless I did it my way. Charlie’s Angels on STEROIDS! I also liked the idea of writing a series about three very different women.

Jessie Beckett is my bounty hunter who operates a little outside the law. Her childhood friend and voice of conscience is Sam Cooper who is an ambitious vice cop. And Alexa Marlowe is my international operative with a mysterious past who lives life on the edge. Alexa will eventually tempt Jessie with the idea of wielding justice her own way, by utilizing the vast resources of her employer, the Sentinels. Their covert organization is comprised of wealthy and powerful vigilantes who aren’t restricted by international borders or by the law. Jessie, Sam, and Alexa will give Lady Justice a whole new reason to wear blinders. And their brand of justice will be anything but sweet.

HANK: I can just hear the announcer saying that! Thanks, Jordan.

Now: Jordan takes the Jungle Red Quiz:

Miss Marple or Hercule Poirot?
I’d take Miss Marple for shots of tequila and see if she’d jump on the bar and put the ugly back in Coyote.

Sex or violence?
Always sex. Except for Dirty Harry, who would pick violence?

Pizza or chocolate?
Although these are both food groups for me, I’d have to go with chocolate because you don’t have to wait 30 minutes or less.

Daniel Craig or Pierce Brosnan?
You’re killing me here. Pierce for his humor and the wicked twinkle in his eye, but Daniel for his speedo.

Facebook or MySpace?
Oh, man. People are going to kill me here. I’d choose Facebook for fun. Myspace has all my crazy fringe dwellers there, but the code is complicated sometimes.

Katharine Hepburn or Audrey Hepburn?
Katharine, definitely.

Your favorite non-mystery book?
Stephen King’s Gunslinger series, his earlier books that he wrote in college.

Favorite book as a kid?
I was thinking about this just the other day. I can’t remember the name but it was a fantasy with a flying horse. I was really into westerns too. Anything with a horse in it.

Making dinner or making reservations?
Reservations, definitely. I would have reservations about cooking. Are you kidding me?

And now, the Jungle Red Big Lie. Tell us four things about you that no one knows. Only three can be true. We'll guess which one is false!

I rode in a school bus onto the frozen Bering Sea, above the Arctic Circle.

I was a volleyball coach for a Junior Olympics team in California during the 80s.

I have a tattoo.

I have the complete video collection for Adrian Paul’s Highlander TV series.

Don't forget to say hello (or guess the quiz Big Lie answer)for **your chance at a free book!

Thanks, Jordan!

(And anyone remember the book wth the flying horse?)

Friday: queries about query letters? Wendy Burt-Thomas explains it all to us. And will answer your questions!

On the Worst Songs Ever

I crave Lunch. Publisher's Lunch. Not only for it's daily email newsletter on the latest industry scoop, of course, but for the book sale deals.

I know it's, what, masochistic? Not because I begrudge anyone the fabulous deals they made--oh no way! If books are getting purchased and publishers are humming along, I'm all for it.

No--what's masochistic is the constantly recurring thought that I am unable to suppress. And that is: oh--I should have thought of that.

Or worse: Oh, I COULD have thought of that.

We won't even discuss "I DID think of that, years and years ago, but didn't do anything about it" because that way lies true madness. (Two little words: Animal Planet.)

So I can only hope to express my deep depression when I read this on PL:

Colin Bowles's FLUSHED FROM THE BATHROOM OF YOUR HEART: The 100 Worst Songs Ever, a highly personal, deeply offensive, politically incorrect and humorous catalog of pretentious lyrics, bad rhymes and syrupy pap, including classics we love to hate such as 'Achy Breaky Heart,' 'Sometimes When We Touch,' and of course 'Ice Ice Baby' by the singular Vanilla Ice, .... for publication in 2010 ...

What a great idea! Colin, I bow to your hilarity, prescience, and connection with all of us.

I should have thought of it.

(Yes, I know the incomparable Dave Barry did an essay about it a few years ago--we almost couldn't air my TV interview with him because I was laughing so hard. What set me over the edge was Dave's response to the classic by the band America.

Dave said--with this air of incredulity and disbelief: "Name the horse! Why not name the horse? They have plenty of time out there in the desert!")

So because Colin is now under deep deadline pressure, and hey, what if he's only come up with maybe 50 of the top 100 in case the book didn't sell and he'd never need to figure out the rest--what do you think are the worst songs ever?

My votes? Even though I have a huge crush on the genius Paul Simon and he's my favorite, I'm not a fan of Homeward Bound. I think it's whiny. I mean, they're a famous band on tour. Who wouldn't want to do that? Why gripe? And then sing it on their tour?

Bobby Goldsboro's "Honey"--a tour of the home of a dead person? "See the tree how big it's grown, but friend, it hasn't been so long it wasn't big."

'Careless Whisper' in which George Michael declares: "I'm never gonna dance again; Guilty feet have got no rhythm." (Innocent feet do?)

I'm not counting meant-to-be-silly ditties like the Macarena. And its just not worth mentioning how silly it is that Jennifer Lopez sings that she's Just Jenny from the Block.

But Morning Train by Sheena Easton? "My baby takes the morning train, at night he takes it home again.." That's riveting. Having My Baby by Paul Anka."What a lovely way to say you love me.." That's embarrassing.

So this rant about good ideas turned out to be about bad ideas. (Ain't that just how it often happens.) But what songs do you think should be included in Colin's list?

ROBERTA: Oh Hank, this is hysterical. That "Honey" song has to be one of the all-time worsts. And by the way, I canceled my subscription to Publishers' Lunch because I couldn't stand the pressure. I do have a few possible contributions for Colin's book: How about "I think the worst is over now, yes, it's going to be all right, the morning sun is shining like a Red Rubber Ball.." That gem is by Cyrkle, for those not old enough to remember.

HANK: Oh, thanks Roberta. "Now I know you're not the only starfish in the sea..." that song continues. And it's now stuck in my head.

ROBERTA: And here's another one from the Archies: "Sugah, sugah, oh honey, honey, you are my candy girl, and you've got me wanting you!"

Is he going to list Jungle Red Writers in the acknowledgments???

HALLIE: I'm with Roberta on Publishers' Lunch. How to make yourself crazy...every day.

Hands down, my vote goes to that song "I...will always...love you...ooo...oooo. It comes on and I start swaying and caterwauling along. I like my songs, like my prose, seasoned with vinegar.

HANK: But it was a good song when Dolly Parton sang it. Didn't she write it?

RO: She did...I love that song!

JAN: See, Publishers Lunch is one of the few publications that doesn't make me crazy - except when they announce multi-million celebrity book deals - but in general it reminds me that good ideas can still get attention.

On song lyrics. I play guitar and sing, and have a stash of lyrics and guitar tabs from the Internet. Let me tell you, there is nothing like practicing the same song 150 times to make you start to question the lyrics.

Neil Young, for example. Great music and from a guitar standpoint, pretty easy to play. The lyrics SOUND meaningful, but when you break them down...

"When you see me fly away without you, shadow on the things that come, feathers fall around you and show you the way to go. It's over....

I'm sorry, but if you sing these lyrics enough times, you start to wonder...did the bird (ex-lover departing) get shot by a hunter on his flight out?? Is that why feathers are flying around you??? And are they like breadcrumbs, showing you the trail???

Also, there's an Icelandic band called Sigur Ros that makes beautiful, haunting, somewhat eno music. They recently started to sing in a completely made up language, so the audience would find their own meaning in the lyrics. I find this incredibly amusing since generally sing in Icelandic. How many people understand Icelandic?

RHYS: That's so funny. How many people speak Icelandic? When I was a student traveling around Europe with a backpack my friend Ruth and I used to pretend we were Finnish when creepy guys tried to pick us up. We were language students and we knew that Finnish is a language pocket--i.e. not related to any other language. So we spoke this made-up Finnish and got pretty darned good at it.So maybe I'll now try made-up Icelandic.

And I no longer read Publisher's Lunch. All those good deals, nice deals--how about "and in a really crappy pathetic deal...."But--I do check my Amazon ranking way too often. Then I check Jackie Winspear, Anne Perry etc to see if they are higher. Then I'm depressed usually.How we torment ourselves.

HANK: Oh. Digression. Rhys, you never cease to amaze me. I always picture you--happy and satisfied, glowing and secure. If you check your colleagues to see how everyone's doing, I feel much better. Thanks, sistah.

Do you read PL? Well, of course you do. But how do you feel afterwards?

Do you have PL remorse?

RO: See, I never check any of that stuff, either I'm extremely confident or extremely clueless. There are people higher and people lower..what else do I need to know? Lest you think that I've obtained some higher state, I check my mailing lists stats every week - I LOVE it when someone signs up for my mailing list and I'm inordinately upset if someone unsubscribes!

Okay, my worst song ever...Band of Gold by Freda Payne. Some woman signing about, um..."last night on our honeymoon, we stayed in separate rooms. ...come back here and love me like you tried before?" Who bought this? And someone actually remade it.

HANK: Be sure to tell us your worst song ever!

*************************************************

COMING THIS WEEK:

Wednesday--Jordan Dane tells all!

Abd Friday--queries about queries? The guru of query letters answers is all for us!

Yard sale madness and inspiration...

HALLIE: One of the (many) things I hate about New England winters is that there are no yard sales. And then, come the first warm days of spring, signs sprout on street corners and beckon with their siren song.

I've picked up all my favorite platters at yard sales. The silver clip-on earrings I wear everywhere. Each spring I restock my supply of fancy soaps (why don't people appreciate good soap?) And of course, the idea for "Never Tell a Lie" which I didn't even have to pay for.

My husband is a yard sale maniac. Every Saturday he suits up and leaves the house early-early, stakes out the yard most likely to have his kind of stuff, and waits for the homeowner to take pity on him. Our basement is crammed with his finds -- scores of vintage small appliances (fans, radios, hotplates, curling irons...) that peer out at me from dark shelves whenever I lug down the laundry. Upstairs our shelves are crammed with old books. Hey, it could be bedroom sets that he's dragging home. I blame my husband's obsession with yard sales on his mother--she traumatized him by throwing out his baseball cards.

Do you yard sail? What have been your finest finds?

HANK: Does he think he's going to find the cards? Oh, that's heartbreaking.

ROBERTA: You have to be so patient with yard sales. I guess I've gotten more impatient as I've gotten older. And tag sales in Connecticut don't seem to have the great stuff they did when I lived in Florida. Years ago, my sister scored a swan-neck rocking chair--that's an upholstered overstuffed rocking chair with carved wooden arms, the head of a swan on each. She had it re-covered and it was gorgeous. I searched all over for one like it. (This was before craig's list and ebay.) Finally I had the idea of putting a wanted ad in the local paper. A woman two towns over called and sold me two for fifty bucks--I have one in the den and one upstairs. Love those chairs!

RHYS: I used to love yard sales but it seems recently that people have become greedy and the quality of the stuff has gone down. When we were first married and had used our last pennies to buy our first home, we furnished it almost entirely from yard and garage sales. My best finds? An ivory chess set from China, all the figures are Chinese warriors. We got it for $5 because there was a piece missing. When I got it home, I found the lining of the box was torn and the missing piece was inside!

I think you East Coasters do much better than we in the West. Most people couldn't bring too much stuff with them when they made the transcontinental trek so it's less likely that anyone finds treasure in their attic, or good antiques at garage sales. But I still look hopefully for that overlooked painting that will be the star of the Antiques Roadshow! I think we still carry that hunter/gatherer gene, don't you?

HALLIE: True, Rhys, there's nothing like feeling you got something for nothing... or a song. I once bought an old radio at a friend's yard sale, googled it and discovered the thing was worth over a thousand dollars. The next day I gave it back. Now, if that person had been a complete stranger, I'd have been cackling with glee instead. Moral: Better not to buy from friends.

Ro: Whenever my husband and I are driving and we see one of those handwritten signs on dayglo oaktag(sp?) we look at each other and his hands tense on the steering wheel. Do we stay the course or is the game afoot?

I never met a tag sale or church sale I didn't like. It's just not the same thing finding an item on ebay..although I've done that a few times.

I won't bore you with a complete list of the things I haul home..just a smattering...vintage lamps from the 30's-60's - panther tv lamps to sputnik balls to torchieres - anything barkcloth, adirondack frames, herringbone and iris glass, old gardening books and tools, sheet music, bakelite radios, bird and plant prints, ceramic deer vases, vintage handbags, flowered china, exercise equipment - I now have a gym that most small high schools would be proud of...I'd better stop.

Unlike a woman I know, I've never bought a desk and discovered that it was an actual Stickley (not repro)..but all of it makes me smile, so that's enough for me.

JAN: You have to get to a yard sale early Saturday morning to get the good stuff. I'm still having coffee and reading the paper. Plus, I'm not a patient or particularly discerning shopper. I did, however, find a really great tapestry for over my couch once -- it wasn't cheap though. That's another thing, I hate haggling. I even hate feeling that I should haggle. So yard sales aren't for me.

HALLIE: I hear you, Jan...my husband actually sallies forth twice each spring/summer Saturday. Once at about 7:30 and I wave groggily. Then he stops home mid-sail an hour or two later and I often join the fray.

And Ro, we DID once get a Stickley bookcase (with hammered copper pulls) for $25.

So, are you a yard sale maven or would you rather sit them out?

Facing our darkest fears

HALLIE: At last, "Never Tell a Lie" is published. I labored over that sucker for nearly three years, so now when people tell me "I couldn't put it down! I finished it in three hours!!" I have distinctly mixed feelings.

The idea for the book came to me, innocuously enough, at a yard sale. Just like the yard sale that opens the novel, it was at a big Victorian house around the corner from me. New owners had painted the outside mauve and purple. I was dying to know what they'd done to the interior, so I peppered the poor woman throwing the yard sale with a million questions.

Finally, probably as much to get rid of me as anything else, she said, "Would you like to go inside and look around?" She pointed the side door. "Let yourself in."

I did. Inside, there was a brand new kitchen. Upstairs, the bedrooms were straight out of House Beautiful. As I started up to the third floor, the mystery writer in me kicked in and I thought: What if a woman goes to a yard sale and somehow she manages to talk her way into the house? She goes inside. . . and she never comes out.

Thoroughly spooked, I bolted down three flights and out the door.

Have you ever been spooked by a thought that turned an everyday situation sinister?

HANK: OH. Constantly. Daily. It's a sickness. Even that, you know? I'll cough, and then think--what if this is the beginnning of the plague, and I have it and... And suddenly, I'm in The Stand.

Jonathan goes out to get the paper. It's just at the end of the driveway. "Be careful!" I always tell him. "Of WHAT?" he says. It's potentially dangerous, in my mind. In his, it isn't. What if the people handing out free food samples at the mall are really terrorists, and the food is poisoned? (Actually, I may use that in a book so forget you read it.) And I completely got PTSD after seeing the movie "The Dark Knight." I was clutching Jonathan all the way to the car, terrifed someone/something was going to leap out of the darkness.

I may have seen too much TV news.

HALLIE: LOL. That's gotta be it.

Not sure why but that reminds me of once when I was walking with my daughter and we were playing "what's that thing" (pick up a small scrap of trash from the street and try to guess what it was part of)...and I picked up a red plastic tab that said "DO NOT REMOVE." Where's CSI when you need 'em.

HANK: I still have a little red ticket from a sweepstakes drawing that says "Keep this ticket." So hey, I kept it. Because what terrible thing might happen if I don't?

RHYS: Congrats on the new book, Hallie. As you say, this is one of the pitfalls of being a mystery writer. The brain switches so easily to "what if?" And we have trained ourselves to act on that what if. A snippet of overheard conversation becomes sinister, a stranger lurking on the corner becomes a potential ax murderer... And I've always been afraid of the dark. I grew up in a big spooky house that I was sure was haunted. The wind used to make the rug outside my bedroom door flap up and down and sometimes windows opened on their own. When I talked about this to my brother, years later, he replied, "of course it was haunted." So I'd never go up three flights of stairs in a purple-painted house.

RO: Oooh, as a diehard yard sale fan, I'll never be able to go to one again and walk up those stairs to where I've been assured "the good stuff" is. Even if the house isn't purple. That's my idea of something really scary, the everyday thing that turns into a nightmare. I mean, who's going to be fooled by a drooling 7-ft stranger with tattoos and an eyepatch? Just run...no story.

My sort-of-scary moments occur whenever I'm on a driving trip and I have to use the facilities - or buy a can of diet red bull- at a gas station. It's not the toilet that scares me (Dr. Roberta...you hear that?)Ever see The Vanishing or Breakdown? Yikes. It crosses my mind every time I stop in one of those remote service stations.

HANK: Oh. The Vanishing (the Dutch one) is the scariest movie I've ever seen. Ever. I almost wish I hadn't see it.

ROBERTA: Ro, I'm not worried about the toilet, I'm worried about the diet Red Bull!:) Hallie, big congratulations! So excited to see your book on the shelves! And what I've learned from the tag sale story is to never, ever, let a stranger into the house, even if she SEEMS like a nice, nosy middle-aged lady. Maybe especially that. I too see danger and plot twists everywhere. It's kind of exhausting, isn't it?

HALLIE: What about never ever GO INTO a house, no matter how hunky the man is who invites you in to "have a look around."

JAN: Wow, was it really three years, Hallie? It seemed like that book flew off your computer!! Congratulations on its release and the many terrific reviews.

When I was still dealing with my plane phobia (now conquered!!) I once had a cognitive behavioral therapist tell me that my problem was I had too much imagination and I applied it to EVERYTHING. That probably applies to all of us!

For me, it really was the toilet.... but not the germs. It all started as a small child, when I convinced myself there was a monster in it. I used to open the door, flush the toilet and run like hell. Sometimes when I go to lock the garage door at night, I'll let in the thought... what if someone was in the garage just waiting.... and I get that full body fear thrill people go to the movies for. But I've spent a lot of energy trying to NOT let those thoughts in my head, and I think it's net gain.

HALLIE: My daughter used to be afraid of squirrels, so I'd send her out with a can of Lysol (AKA magic squirrel repellant) to protect her on her Hot Wheels.

So, is your monster in the toilet? Or in your attic? Or up a tree and hopefully staying where it belongs? (Hopefully not in your bookstore where I hope you are ALL headed.)

Please join the conversation. We're dying to know.