HALLIE EPHRON: Each day, I go into Blogger (the software the brings you the Jungle
Red Writers) and check the comments, looking for spam. Spammers come to the
blog, usually late at night, and comment on OLD blogs. I can only guess they get paid for
each entry they plant.
I come along like a weed wacker. Lately I've also had to UN-weed
comments that Blogger has taken upon itself to relegate to SPAM. Apologies to
Jay. I don't know why Blogger has it in for you.
Going two years back, there are more than 1,000 SPAM comments. I
thought I'd share some of their great wisdom that I try to spare you from, day
to day. Notice, sometimes it's just word salad.
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Today we welcome your comments! Points to anyone who can comment
like a spammer.
Jay, this is your moment! See you in SPAM!
Oh, my goodness . . . I am chucking over the spam comments . . . who knew that blog comment spam was a real thing? [And, for the life of me, I can’t figure out why blogger thought Jay’s comments were spam-worthy.]
ReplyDeleteHere’s my effort at spammer commenting:
All I can say is it’s hard to find knowledgeable people, but the ladies here certainly know what they’re talking about. Thanks for sharing . . . .
Nah... here you are, in COMMENTS, Joan.
DeleteGood to know I’m not too likely to become one of blogger’s spammed commenters!
DeleteThanks for your work at protecting us from seeing the SPAM comments, Hallie. It is weird that my post went to the SPAM folder on a Saturday morning in January. It was the post where I was complaining about the -40C/-40F temperatures!
ReplyDeleteWho knows what the logic is.
DeleteDid you also mention you like loud clothing and look like a teddy bear, Grace?
DeleteI have a hard time seeing how spam is monetized or who pays for such stuff. I think, sometimes, it's just a bot talking to an algorithm (the spam filter). Maybe that's how computer programs hook up. I did find the BBQ one amusing, though. Here's my attempt:
ReplyDeleteWarm regards interesting stock tip, enhance your mortgage opportunity. You're so pretty.
Gigi, if I were Blogger I'd definitely mark that as SPAM. perfect.
DeleteHey, maybe I can pick up some extra money in retirement!
DeleteGigi, in spamlish, that would be "your so pretty."
DeleteYou so pritty [sic].
DeleteMy question is . . . why? To what purpose? Ah well.
ReplyDeleteLucky giant sweepstakes. Unclaimed male enhancement land in Belize.text me.
excellent effort.
DeleteWow, I'm part of today's post...thanks Hallie for all the hard work separating my posts from the usual Attack of the Spambots. Back when message boards were still the primary way to communicate, I was once asked to be a moderator on a board for a band I liked. What a pain that was to have to deal with the spam posts. So I can sympathize with you.
ReplyDeleteGiven that I've been getting determined to be spam for the last few weeks I'll pass on deliberately putting anything spam worthy in this reply.
I also don't know why Blogger has it in for me. I don't tend to reply to posts unless I have something to say. When I don't, I simply don't reply at all.
DING DING DING! Jay, THIS wen to SPAM. Points to anyone who can figure out why.
DeleteIf Jay Roberts ALWAYS ends up in the spam folder, it's possible he's been blacklisted. Can you set or review the spam filters ? You may need to get him removed from a blacklist filter...or if you can't find him there, possibly add him to a whitelist.
DeleteCould there be something in Jay’s selected “reply as” such as a hidden character? or with an email address connectedto the “reply as”? Last resort (with tongue in cheek): Jay’s unknown evil twin? Thanks, Hallie, for sorting out spam so very patiently.
DeleteLooks as if my reply on why Jay Roberts is being spam filtered may have gotten me there as the comment has disappeared. I was wondering if there is some hidden character in his “reply as” that triggers Blogger. Also I thanked Hallie for doing the clean up work.
DeleteElisabeth, your comment went to SPAM! Maybe because you mentioned Jay?
DeleteJane, good suggestion... But comment filters in Blogger. If someone knows how to do this, please email me off-blog.
I can't find the blacklist / whitelist option in Blogger, although I found several questions about it in forums. Apparently Wordpress offers those features. The only other thing I can think of is that Jay's signature might have a url in it. (link)
DeleteI ended up in the spam folder a few times not that long ago, and I don't even KNOW Jay.
DeleteHave we considered the idea that Jay may just be an incredibly realistic bot? Perhaps he's an in-development AI for some nefarious organization. Jay, do you ever have the urge to mention male enhancement?
DeleteThanks for the smile this morning, Julia.
DeleteJulia, I like that. Could be a novel. Reminds me of the movie about a guy who falls in love with his computer? "HER." (Cue X-files theme.)
DeleteStraighten up and fly right unnamed male that starts with a J.
DeleteBlacklisted? Oh great, where's James Spader when I need him?
DeleteSeriously though, I looked at my google plus profile and there's nothing on there beyond my name. I only registered for it so that I could post here. I don't use it for anything else and there are no links in a signature or anything.
Interesting theories of why I'm disappearing all the time. There is no evil twin, the world could not handle two of me.
Ann Mason is unknowingly guilty by association it seems.
Julia, I'm so realistic that Hank, Ingrid and Hallie have all met and signed books for me.
And Hallie, that movie is definitely NOT me.
Pat D, if I was any more boring, I'd fade away.
Jay, that could be it - the actual spammers have NOTHING beyond a name in their profiles, too.
DeleteMaybe we just THINK we have!
DeleteWell Hank, if you are only imagining me, thanks for including me in your delusions. :D
DeleteIn my email spam folder: "I decided to contact you because of the prevailing security report reaching my office and the intense nature of politics in Nigeria, I have come to make so many things right from the way the corrupt government officials has made it to be."
ReplyDeletePoor Nigeria - it gets such a bum rap.
DeleteDidn't they track down the guy sending the Nigerian Prince spam the other day? I think he was from Louisiana.
DeleteThey did! The guy lives in Slidell, which is across Lake Pontchartrain from New Orleans. My brother in law lives there.
DeleteHallie, I cracked up reading these!
ReplyDeleteHere is one similar to what I receive at my work email on occasion:
"We have many sensible young Russian ladies desirous of meeting good American men to marry and make American babies with. Please help us."
And:
"Why you not help us when we ask to find good American husbands for young Russian ladies? You must not reject us!"
DebRo
I love the "sensible" part. And THEN they try to guilt you into responding!
DeleteA neighbor actually married a mail order bride from Russia, about 30 years ago. Long before email spam. No American babies--she brought her young teen daughter with her, but they're still happily married.
DeleteA PS: The SPAM comments that I featured had web links ini them... which I left out. Surely that's what the spammers are being paid to do, to plant web links.
ReplyDeleteTheory: It's because Jay is a guy. If anyone has a man handy to test my theory, ask him to post a comment and we can see if it goes to SPAM.
ReplyDeleteNo man handy. But wouldn’t the guy-ness mark as spam other men who post?
DeleteOMG, I can't stop laughing about "Many upright water smokers have limited BBQ sauce recipes while dispersing the direct warm from the resource"!
ReplyDeleteLike Deborah, I get junk email for Russian brides and "25 hot beauties waiting for you in their high heels." You can imagine the accompanying photos. Ug.
It IS a blessing that at least our blog comments don't allow pictures.
DeleteYour book post are beautiful! I heart all of them. Big Deal. Get 15% of your car insured today. No reject . Guarantee.
ReplyDeletePerfectly SPAM-worthy, and yet here you are, Jane. Points for effort.
DeleteCatching the spammers with web links makes sense, but then, why Jay?
ReplyDeleteMy current email program spares me--I no longer receive the 'male enhancement product' offers or the Nigerian scam offers. However, in my company email, I constantly get emails addressing any needs I have to enhance the size of my congregation, the power of my preaching, etc.
Cracking up!
DeleteFlora, are those euphemisms?
DeleteI posted twice, before this post. The first post had Jay's full name in it. I don't see that in the comments. Did it go to spam ? The second, silly one, referencing car insurance, shows up as a comment. Go figure.
ReplyDeleteI don't see it in SPAM. It just vanished...
Deleteit eventually appeared.
DeleteThis one. It's hard to beat this: Do you spend a quantity of time comparing unique male enhancement offers.
ReplyDeleteI used to get so much spam for this kind of thing. One time I jokingly asked my husband if I should take up one of my many offers, and he said, "Please don't." That still makes me chuckle.
To go with what Jay said, I used to participate in a lot of message boards, including politics-based ones beginning with the 2000 election cycle (I know, you're shocked). I noticed a lot of similarly worded posts, including ones that were identical to each other, hundreds of them. I asked one poster, shot in the dark, how much he was getting paid to put them up, and he actually answered: ten cents apiece. I don't know how they got counted, but it must have been a lucrative venture, seeing as how the practice continues. Although the bots have no doubt cut into the real peoples' income.
Poor Jay. Why's everybody always picking on you?
Ten cents. As lucrative as picking up returnable bottles but without none of the effort. Yesterday then same spammer posted 10 identical spam comments on Jungle Reds.
DeleteIt's probably more than ten cents now. That was almost 18 years ago.
DeleteThis blog answer to my cosmic questions, all of them.
ReplyDeleteDING DING DING! This ended up in SPAM, too. Good work, Brenda!
DeleteBeard oil.
DeleteShown in your blog is great effort. Much I learn in good articles you write. Dude, I am a cute bear or Yoda.
ReplyDeleteLOL - those were priceless, Hallie. Thank you for sparing us!
DING DING DING! This one ended up in the Spam folder! Congratulations, Jenn.
DeleteSpecially good post. Today only 50% off on case of Spam direct from Hawaii
ReplyDeleteMWF ISO EIGHT FEMALES for sexy, mysterious, criminal, noir, cozy, romantic, international, horrific, complicated, funny, ghoulish relationship.
ReplyDeleteYour vocabulary is too good, Denise Ann!
DeleteMAINTAIN YOUR WEIGHT AMPUTATE!!!
ReplyDeleteAnn you crack me up!!!!!!!
DeleteNice tries SandyG & Denise!
ReplyDeleteSometimes you are seriously scary, Ann.
If you think I’m scary, check out my Nigerian prince brother.
DeleteI'd like to say a word on Spam's behalf. The Spiced Ham version. Very much maligned. Before I became a vegetarian, I liked Spam. Grandma taught me the best way to prepare it. Sprinkle with brown sugar and fry it. Yum.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, I can't help thinking that some of these almost read like Haiku. Except for the syllable count. So, there's a challenge....
DING DING DING! This went to spam as well.
DeleteBrown sugar and fry? Seriously?
Yes, bad poetry, hold the grammar checker.
Russian bride seeks home mortgage car insurance happy home with beard oil salesman. Loves cute bears, dude.
ReplyDeleteSeriously ? THAT got published? I must be whitelisted.
DeleteI think you real like this ingridthoft! No more wrinkles, thir30ty pounds disappeared to! Click here so don't be sorry!
ReplyDeleteLooks spam-worthy to me, but apparently no cigar.
DeleteHmm. I would suspect something in his profile. That and most spam filters don't like a lot of links, but he doesn't use those.
ReplyDeleteFB tagged a response I made to a post as spam. The response? "Congratulations"
My attempt: Great blog. Are you optimizing your SEO for monetization? You may be missing out on much opportunity.
Mary/Liz
You have beautiful smile. We be maybe good friends. Why to not you like?
ReplyDeleteOh, shoot, mine made it through. I'm always getting spam on my Facebook author page starting with "You have beautiful smile."
ReplyDeleteHallie, this is hysterical!!
And now I have to try to come up with one in Haiku....
Win money big time
ReplyDeleteBuy bridge in famous London
Water runs freely
Don't feel bad, Debs - the spammer can't write a novel nearly as well as you.
ReplyDeleteMy spam filter is working pretty well; I went into the spam folder to see what I've been missing. Evidently a lot of Asian girls.
ReplyDeleteMeet Asian Girls at Faribault
Men's Sex Health!
Are You Owed Cash That You Don?t Know About?
These are some of the openings. Needless to say I don't open them. Although those Asian girls seem desperate to meet me.
No spam
ReplyDeleteNo scam
Hot offer...don't refuse
No reply....u loose
This got spamified...
DeleteNo spam
ReplyDeleteNo scam
Hot offer...don't refuse
No reply....u loose
... twice!
DeleteWhat a fun post Hallie! But not so much fun for you having the "cleanup" job
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteYou make excellent effort with way to do it. Many admires.
ReplyDeleteDebRo
You most auspicious blog post has enlitened me with how we can all most improve roMaace lives. We also many remedies to improve eyesite and financial wealth!!!!
ReplyDeleteThat should've triggered it... Terry, you're firing on all cylinders.
DeleteImproved eyesite AND financial wealth?! I'm in!
DeleteI think my original comment disappeared
ReplyDeleteHelen, you get the grand prize! TWO of your comments went to SPAM. I resurrected them.
DeleteYou have pretty smile and use good words. I am most admire you and your most excellent sexy beard oil. Sunglasses await you in special offer with Russian bride.
ReplyDeleteYou had me at smile...
DeleteHahaha! I did have a comment disappear the other day, but I figured it must have been something I did.
DeleteMost fun I have in week.
ReplyDeleteThese are great Hallie
ReplyDeleteI'm cracking up over them
Please repeat some time.
(sent by a certified guy to test the y-chromosome detector)
Ha ha ha ha! Y chromosome apparently flew under the radar.
DeleteMust visit you home to make marriage with you. Purchase many beutiful items for excellent beard and member enlargment. www.xxx.beardoil.co
ReplyDeleteAw Karen, I was hoping you'd ask.
DeleteThis is one of the funniest posts! Thanks for the good laugh, Hallie! I get SO many spam comments on my blog and unfortunately just permanently deleted some of the best one. Here is one that just popped up:
ReplyDeleteThank you for the good writeup. It in fact was a amusement account it.
Look advanced to far added agreeable from you! By the way,
how could we communicate?
Love this...
DeleteAnd that IS the cosmic question: how COULD we communicate?
Well, I added a tagline, a brief one sentence intro and a photo to the profile. Let's see if that changes anything.
ReplyDeleteand here you are: TA DAH!
DeleteThese are the best spam comments! I will take them to heart and apply for change in my life as a result. Thanks for keeping up the work.
ReplyDelete(I don't get spam comments on my own blog every day, but I have to laugh at them when they do show up. These sound all too familiar.)
GOSH ! GOSH ! GOSH ! Too much fabulous !!!
ReplyDeleteI had to try even if I'm late
Obviously not flattering and self-effacing enough.
DeleteThanking you much so in advance of your help to me in claiming now the immense monies to be available in your account . We must notify every family of legacy and nw seeking your account to invest in future endeavors.
ReplyDeleteA noble effort... but apparently not spam-worthy
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
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