Zoom Nation

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: Do you remember when Zoom was just a TV show? I’m gonna Zoom Zoom Zoom-a Zoom?

(I think I used to watch it in college.)

But in these times, Zoom is a necessity. As is Crowdcast, and Facebook live, and Instagram live, and every other platform that allows us to be together but not together.

Hank teaching a class to MWA Florida

  Zoom-- to use that as the shorthand for all--is my way of life now. It is a true gift, and I am grateful. But I sometimes do three a day, not even counting the ones where I’m in the audience. Facebook live and Instagram live too, and both at once for First Chapter Fun! And I just did a truly hilarious interview with Barbara Peters at Poisoned Pen--it's pretty funny. (Here's the link.)

I think we both forgot we were being taped, and just talked about everything.

Hank and Barbara 

But there are some questions I still have.

One. What do you wear? My TV reporter clothes are too formal. My hanging out at home clothes are too casual. Patterns don’t work, nor do sleeveless things, or shirts with droopy collars. Jewelry is problematic. And what, everyone is just going to watch in real time as my roots get longer?

Two. Where do you look? Every single device--iPhone, iPad, desktop, laptop--has a camera in a different place. And the camera, I have learned, is not where you think it is. So you see people looking up, or down and to the right, or down and to the left, because nobody knows exactly where to look. Plus, it seems to change every moment of every day. Argh.

Three. The lighting. Are you kidding me? I have lights, but they don’t work at all. Seriously, I have spent the past 40 years in television and I understand lighting, but my study, where I do these events, is full of daylight. In real life, that is a great thing. In Zoom life that is hideous, unless we shoot between 11am and 1pm. Either I either look all blown out, or like a spooky ghost. (Below is an author event--see how different the lighting is for each of us?)

Hank at an author event--see how the lighting is different for each of us?

Four. The eyestrain. Truly, after the first couple of days of Zoom living, I thought: Why do my eyes hurt? And then I started hearing about this from other people. Staring at the screen, writing, is bad enough, but Zooming is apparently even more wearying. Do you have this?
Five. Good news though, we have learned to take turns :-) and even better, we do not lose touch. We’ve had cocktail zooms with pals. That’s so great! I just gave a library talk where 75 people showed up. Each of their faces, in a tiny box on the screen, wherever they were--at a kitchen table, or in a cozy chair, or on a couch. And I swear a couple of them were in bed. (Not together.) And it just made me almost burst into tears. 

How's YOUR Zoom life?

JENN MCKINLAY: I have Zoom fatigue. I’m happy to watch other’s Zoom, like the parade of amazing authors visiting the Poisoned Pen just about every day, but for me personally I can not do that for a year or maybe two. When I get desperate to see my friends, it’s a nice way to fill the gap, but it just isn’t the same. I miss hugging people, and the Hooligans are getting weary of filling the gap. LOL!

RHYS BOWEN:   Zoom seems to have become a way of life in Lockdown Lodge. We Zoom with our kids and grandkids once a week. Our daughter Clare celebrated her 25th wedding anniversary on Saturday with a renewal of vows via Zoom, with the same priest and the whole family present. So moving.
I have done several Zoom book clubs meetings, Zoom podcasts, interviews etc.
I learned quickly how to position my Mac so that the lighting comes in from the window and disguises my neck.
And once a week my church choir meets via Zoom. The only thing we can’t do is sing together as internet speeds differ and it sounds terrible. So the choir director sings and plays the piano. We mute and sing along, except for a couple of clueless members who always forget to mute and we hear them, half a beat behind!

HALLIE EPHRON: The first time I watched a Zoom event, it was three authors… one of them (the guy) was very obviously NOT paying attention except when it was his turn to speak… very off-putting. (Did not make me want to read his book.)
So here’s what puts me off about Zoom-ing. You cannot sit there on the call and as you listen to other people, roll your eyes, zone out and check your phone, stand up and adjust your pantyhose, eat potato chips, or… pick your nose. Maybe this is a good thing but it is exhausting to continue looking alert alive, well-behaved and tuned in.
Also people put the camera so close to their faces it feels, uh, clinical. Or shoot themselves(!) from below. Not your best angle as you age, imhop.
Having said that, we used Zoom to have a fantastic family silly song and dance party.
And I’m with Jenn on missing hugging. Seriously missing it. (“Lockdown Lodge!” Love that, Rhys.)

LUCY BURDETTE: I’m very very grateful that we’ve had Zoom during all this, but agree--it’s no substitute for real people:(. John and I have caught up with lots of old friends and had group sessions with his sibs, and then my sibs, cousins, and 93 year old uncle. That brings me to tears, thinking about him quarantined in a house by himself--for how long?
My favorite use is for yoga classes, which I’m doing three times a week. Lifesaver, truly.

JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: SO MUCH ZOOM. Zoom for the two college classes I teach. Zoom for office hours. Zoom for church and coffee hour. Zoom with book clubs. Zoom with book stores. Saturday, I slept in and then didn’t open my laptop for the whole day. I read, I worked in the garden, I made dinner and dessert, I hung up laundry on the line - it was unbelievably wonderful to spend one day without my face being buried in a computer screen.

That being said, I’ve got my Zoom techniques down: I close the curtains in front of me and tape a thin pashmina to the window on the side. (Like Hank, I have a lot of natural light by my desk.) I’ve moved lamps around for fill-in. My laptop goes up on a stack of old SAT and ACT prep books - they’re huge! I’ve got a book-related event uniform: a solid color open-necked shirt with the same color cardigan if it’s cold.
The light, if I filter it with the curtains and the pashmina as above, is working well for me now the sun doesn’t set until 8:30. However, if we’re still doing this when Daylight Time ends, I’m buying myself one of those circle lights because I’m tired of having a desk lamp and a music light and a standing lamp clustered around my desk. From the outside, it looks like I’m running a lighting store.

DEBORAH CROMBIE: I have only done a little Zoom; with the REDS, with my husband’s family, a couple of cocktail hours with friends. In none of these have I had to worry about how I looked. BUT this week I have a Zoom interview with lots of viewers (I hope!) and that will be a whole different kettle of fish.
     I have been doing Zoom from my downstairs desk in the sun porch, in the afternoons, but this will be at 7 pm and I will have to be upstairs in my office so I won’t have dogs barking, etc. No idea what to wear, how to do the lighting, etc. I think I’m going to look really weird with makeup. And, oh my gosh, what am I going to do with my HAIR???

HANK: And there you have it. The hair thing. The lighting thing. The better-than-nothing thing. How about you, Reds and readers? Are you zooming? What do you think? As readers, do you attend zoom events? Do you enjoy them?

RED HOT DEALS!
*The Murder List (Now a USA Today Bestseller!) is on sale for $1.99 in ebook! This offer ENDS on Wednesday!
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*Lucy's DEATH ON THE MENU ebook available on all platforms 
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*Jenn's ebook of Sprinkle with Murder is available for $2.99 as part of Berkley's first in series promotion!