Who Are You? Rhys discovers who she is.

 RHYS BOWEN: I have just discovered who I am. I know—it’s taken a long while, hasn’t it? I have been through many incarnations: in my early twenties I was in London, working for the BBC, mixing with celebs and wearing Mary Quant with my short skirts, my Vidal Sassoon haircut and my long white boots. Groovy, baby. Fun and sexy. 

Then in the seventies I was long haired and flowery. Not exactly a hippie as I was now married with young children but certainly going with the vibe of the times.

                In the Eighties I embraced the big shoulders and the military look but after that it’s a blur. Respected author on book tour. Sensible clothing that doesn’t crush when I travel.  That has been me for some time. Plain basic colors that mix and match—navy and stone, stone and brown. Blazer and slacks. And can be accessorized with a scarf. In other words classy but boring. The sort of things an older woman should wear.

There have been some mistakes along the way, of course. Sometimes I look back at an old photograph and ask myself “what was I thinking?”  At book signings fans bring me copies of photos they took at my last visit to that store. And sometimes I stare in horror. Why did I think that jacket suited me? Or that lilac was my color?

So I’ve gone for years without a look. Until recently when I discovered linen. Loose fitting linen slacks and tunics in lovely pastels. They are perfect (except they need to be ironed but that’s another story).  And then a couple of weeks ago I read an article in Oprah daily that gave my look a name: COASTAL GRANDMOTHER. 

I read this: A quick scroll through your TikTok feed and there’s a high chance you’ll stumble across someone who’s gone full coastal grandmother. The viral term, coined by TikToker Lex Nicoleta, describes the coastal grandmother aesthetic as “If you love Nancy Meyers movies, coastal vibes, recipes and cooking, Ina Garten, cozy interiors, and more, there’s a good chance you might be a coastal grandmother.” The sartorial result? A neutral lover’s paradise. Oprah herself is a big fan of  Coastal grandmother… 

I jumped up and down with excitement. That is me. I’m coastal grandma. Whites and light blues and flowing but elegant. I’m so happy. I’ve found a look and my look has a name! Now when I’m interviewed by Vogue I’ll say “Darlings, I’m coastal grandma.”  And they’ll say “How fashionable.”

So what about you? Have you found your look? (I know Hank has. She’s classy career woman reporter with impossibly high heels that make my feet ache every time I stare at them). But what about the rest of you? Are you who you want to be?

JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: Is there an East Coast Grandmother chic? I love the look of coastal grandmother, which is also very much a California thing - in Nancy Meyer’s movies, even the ones that take place in the Hamptons or Rhode Island look like they’re steps away from Malibu Beach. But it’s too… neutral for me. My summer look is a tribute to my Alabama childhood and family trips - toucan pink, lime green, tropical florals. My winter look is classic New England preppy - turtlenecks, cardigans, and corduroy pants. Basically, I’m a walking Talbot’s catalogue. 

JENN McKINLAY: Rock n Roll or book lover T-shirts, jeans, and Converse or Vans. Is that a look? Does it have a name? Middle-aged mom, dressing like she’s still in college? Or, things that passed the smell test when pulled out of the hamper because I forgot to do the laundry? Is that a vibe? I do wear dresses for conferences and book signings, does that make me a grown-up? I’ve been wearing the same thing for thirty years. And, of course, I know all of the original Ramones are deceased but it’s still my most comfortable T-shirt. Yeah, I don’t think I’m going to change any time soon. 

HALLIE EPHRON: I want what Jenn’s wearing! But I’m afraid that train has left the station … I’m Eileen Fisher on the cheap. Loose fitting simple washable. Boring grandma glam-ish.

LUCY BURDETTE: This style doesn’t have a name, but I’m addicted to a dress shop in the next town called Ella’s. They carry clothes that are stylish, comfortable, and mostly reasonable. I refuse to dress like a grandmother, not yet anyway. Sadly, the manager retired and she could be utterly counted on to find me the best outfits for a book launch or any other event. I need to go over soon and see who’s replaced her. Here are two of the outfits she steered me to…

RHYS:  Lucy, I love this. Such fun. And the colors--I'm about to travel in a yellow jacket with dark blue pants

DEBORAH CROMBIE: I had to think about this one as it's been so long since I've worn "real" clothes. Definitely not Coastal Grandma–I'm too small to wear all the loose flowy stuff and my coloring doesn't really suit pastels. I like bright summer colors and jewel tones in the winter, and I'm going to call the style Classic/Boho. Not preppy Talbot, but mostly fitted shapes with some arty stuff thrown in. Such fun to see how different we all are!

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: I’m total business. I have to say. Aw, Rhys, thank you, and you are right.  No more suits, no matchy jacket/skirt/dress things any more, but after all these years as a reporter, I am still all  power-business. In public, at least, and  truly, whenever I try something new, it’s a massive failure. Yes, I still love my heels, and leather jackets, and pencil skirts.  I HAVE recently embraced flowy mid-calf skirts and t-shirts and hip sneakers for regular life, but you’ll never see it unless we are at the grocery.  And I deeply wish I could wear jeans, but I look terrible in them, so that’s that.

RHYS: Hank, you always look so...professional and those shoes! Wow. I gave up high heels years ago. I can't think how I used to stand on the set for hours in heels when I was in BBC drama. Madness.

So, all you ladies out there: who has decided on their LOOK? Who has evolved? Changed since Covid?

Confessions please.