Davos For the Rest of Us

 JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: Whether you read sober analysis by The Economist or stop channel surfing at Entertainment Tonight!, you pretty much can't escape the annual World Economic Forum is happening in Davos, Switzerland. There, the wealthy, the powerful, and the intellectual elite (Hey, they had will.i.am!) gather to discuss the weighty issues of the day and then decide what they're going to tell the rest of us to do. Like this little gem that's been making the rounds:

Yes, this is real.

Now, I don't know about you, but I think we need an economic forum for the rest of us. How do you know if you're part of the great unwashed? Ask yourself this question: "Do I have a private plane?" If the answer is no, congratulations, you're a peon. So how do we go about having our own cool meeting where we can talk about "entrepreneurship in the global public interest?" 

First off, we need the right place. Davos is a skiing resort town in the Alps, a vacation destination where you can put on your fur-trimmed anorak and spend the morning on the piste, choose between several Michelin starred restaurants for lunch, and then drop a hundred thousand francs shopping for shoes, hats and watches on the Bahnhofstrasse.

 

For our version, there's only one possible choice: Branson, MO. 

 Is there anywhere more the place of the people than Branson? No, there's no skiing, but you can ride the Copperhead Mountain Coaster, dine at the Chicken House, and later hit up the Rockport Store at Tanger Outlets. You're going to want those comfortable shoes for the main part of the Forum: the meetings.

Last year, for instance, some of the important sessions at Davos included the following:

"We Desperately Need to Disrupt Our Approach to Retirement Savings"

"How to Build a Circular Business Model That Works"

"Will Digital Services Remain in the Vanguard of the Global Trade Recovery?"

"5 Reasons Why Eating Insects Could Reduce Climate Change"

Yes, that last one is real, too. I wonder how many of the attending billionaires will be including ants and grasshoppers in their diets?

Obviously, our People's Economic Forum will have slightly different topics.

"We Desperately Need to Start Playing the Lotto if We're Ever Going to Retire"

"How to Build an Crocheted-circle Ebay Business Model That Works"

"Will Facebook Remain in the Vanguard of Global Grandmother Communication?"

 "5 Reasons Why Eating That Cake Could Reduce Your Stress"

Another major change from Davos? Participation by women in the invitation-only World Economic Forum averages 18-20%. We're going to have a LOT more than that. The Peoples Economic Forum will have your Aunt Lil, talking about clipping coupons, and your brunch girlfriends, presenting the economics of splitting the bill, and a whole lot of moms, who will just mingle about, advising attendees to always pay into their 401(k)s,  buy your clothes on sale because no one will know, and to get a whole chicken and cut it up instead of that tray of breasts - it's almost two dollars less per pound!

The men won't be left out, though: there will be captains of industry (the industries being garages, Thai restaurants and that office supply store which somehow stays in business despite the fact you never see anyone go in or out.) We will also have in-the-know politicians - mainly town selectmen named Frank or Buddy who can tell you everything about plowing roads.  

 Finally, we'll wrap up the rounds of meetings, deal-making and parties with some position papers. In Davos, this results in very nattily designed slide decks and in policies that affect the daily lives of people who will never be invited: 

 

In the Branson forum, I think we should return the favor. I'm considering a similar slogan: Now is the time to tie the reset rope on the guillotine.

What activities and topics would you include in the People's Economic Forum, dear readers? (And seriously, if we ever do manage a JRW convention, can we please have it in Branson?)