HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: My new book is coming out in September, and more about that (of course) much later, but in order to write it, I needed to start thinking about things I remembered as a child. Specific things. And trying to figure out how old I was when I grasped certain concepts. (It's because in MOTHER DAUGHTER SISTER STRANGER something happened to a character when she was an infant up to the time she was five. Now she’s 11–what would she remember?)
And it was truly fascinating, and finding the answers was a bit elusive.
Here's a photo of me with a doll. I have no memory of this, except for this photo. I do look--determined.
I remember my artist- mother painted a big giraffe on my bedroom wall, lifesize. But do I remember seeing it? Or just remember her telling me about it? I think I remember seeing it, and I must have been–3?
Of course I remember my parents, but–really? Do I? I remember my father taking me to Lake Michigan, and we saw a whole fishkill, where dead alewives were strewn across the beach. I bet I was..five. And I was so terrified. But do I remember that? Or was I told that? Ah.
How old am I here? Hmmm. No memory of this. How did my tooth get broken? No idea.
I had a music box, pink, that looked like an old-fashioned radio. I totally can visualize that. At age...3? And another music box where a delicate ballerina popped up and twirled en pointe. It played Dance of the Sugar Plum fairy, I think…but when did I realize that?
And here, I have clearly figured out..something. (Sadly, I could not come close to doing this now.)
I definitely remember reading Black Beauty. I can see myself, in the classroom, and I completely remember, when it was finished, that it crossed my mind “wait, I think this book was about more than a horse.” I had clearly discovered the concept of theme! But by then I was–10.
And I clearly remember lying in bed and worrying about tornadoes. Someone has old me that tornadoes would demolish every OTHER house, and I would try to figure out how, if the tornado would skip our house and the hit the next one, and then skip the next one, etc, how the tornado would have to go so that none of my friends’ houses were hit.
So at some point, I started to think about the welfare of others. (My friends’, at least.) This must have been a result of being traumatized by The WIzard of Oz. So I was…again, 10?
My parents were divorced when I was six. I kind of remember that. And I remember an apartment building where we lived. Kind of.
You see where I am going here. What’s your very first actual memory? NOT what someone told you, but that you actually remember? How old were you?
HALLIE EPHRON: My first memory is of lying in bed and looking out into my childhood bedroom through wooden bars. So I must have been in a crib. Which means I must have been, what, two? Three?
That’s the whole memory. Not very exciting. And I never got to ask my parents whether I really ever was in a crib in that room.
DEBORAH CROMBIE: I have a very vague memory of being in my crib–I see exactly where it is in my room in the old house. The room is blue and the light is dim, curtains drawn against afternoon sun. I’m supposed to be napping but am sitting up, having conversations with my many stuffed animals. I’m guessing I was somewhere around eighteen months or two?
JENN McKINLAY: I definitely remember my brother jailbreaking me out of my crib when I was two. It’s imprinted on my mind no doubt because we got caught and that did not go well. Lots of my memories have that hazy glow of uncertainty–did it really happen the way I remember or is this something conjured by my brain?
RHYS BOWEN: Hank, I agree that it’s hard to determine what I actually remember, versus what I was told happened. I do have some clear memories. We were looking after a relative’s cat when I was three at the oldest and the cat got away and my grandmother walked around the neighborhood calling “Beauty, Beauty.” I do remember air raids, deep in my psyche, although I was too young to actually remember details. But most other clear events are probably what was related to me at some point.
JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: My earliest memory is being allowed to go into my parents’ bedroom to meet my new baby sister. I have a vivid sensory impression of the white wicker bassinet, the eyelet lace, and the sun coming through the bedroom’s harvest gold curtains. I would have been three years and nine months, and it’s quite a gap until my next memory.
Hank, your mention of the music box that looked like a radio reminded me of a play radio we had - I could turn the dial and see different pictures, and, if I recall correctly, it could be wound up to play music. Hadn’t thought about that in well over fifty years!
HANK: So interesting! Part of my new book centers on what a five year old might remember. Any thoughts about that? What would an 11-year-old remember about being 5? And what is your earliest memory?
Earliest memory? Standing with Jean in the front hall of my grandmother's house having our picture taken . . . we were two-ish. We were promised a cookie if we smiled . . . we did, and we each got a cookie . . . .
ReplyDeleteOh, I can just picture that :-) I wonder why you remember that…
DeleteI also had a ballerina music/jewelry box. I think mine played Für Elise.
ReplyDeleteI think at 11 your memories from when you are 5 are pretty strong. They haven’t been crowded out by everything else and I don’t think you’re really differentiating at that point between remembering something actually happening and remembering the memory of it.
I think my first memory was staying at my grandparents when my sister was born and crying when I was told I would have to go back home. But this seems like a likely candidate for something I was told. I would have been about 22 months at the time.
Yes, because there would not have been a picture of that. Interesting. Memories haven’t been crowded out by everything else is an interesting thought. You think that’s what happens? Is that old memories got pushed aside? That’s interesting. It makes a lot of sense. I just wonder when the world begins to stick in your head, you know?
DeleteWell, I swear I remember going to the beach in California on a trip my parents made with my siblings before I was born, and I don’t remember seeing any photos of it.
ReplyDeleteI have a few memories from when I was 3 or 4. Having the mumps is one. I think we best remember things that have strong emotional ties which could be joyful or traumatic.
I think an 11 year old probably remembers quite a lot about being five,
Having the mumps— Oh, poor thing. What about it, though? Can you picture yourself in bed, or how you felt?
DeleteI remember my siblings brought me the Little Golden Book of Winnie the Pooh and the Blustery Day from the Hinky Dinky grocery store. I remember Mom reading it to me and no one else could come by me.I remember being all drooly because it was hard to swallow.
DeleteYou really do remember this vividly...it must have really hurt!
DeleteFascinating stuff. Ida Rose (now 2 1/4) remembers everything - will she when she's older?
ReplyDeleteMy first strong memory: I remember being all dressed up to go into Hollywood to be on a TV show when I was three. I was waiting in the driveway and was so excited I peed my pants. When I smell sweet peas, I'm back in the yard of that house, which we moved out of when I was four. And I clearly remember sitting on the kindergarten rug and the smell and taste of the little cartons of milk, which were not quite cold enough.
I took my four-year-old son to a preschool nature class at the Audubon one fall, and "Monster Mash" was on the car radio. Years later - he was probably eleven - we heard that song and he said, "Wasn't that playing when we were going to Fours and Fives in the Fall? Yep!
OK, that is thought-provoking. Because it’s been a shorter time for her to remember. Things that happened yesterday And a little kid has fewer things to remember. Sure. But that’s exactly the question, will she remember those things nine years later.
DeleteThe song is a really interesting detail, too. I think music must be very sticky.
And smells, too. So evocative. I hope Ida Rose remembers the fun things she did with Grammy...
DeleteEdith, if it is any comfort, I remember so many things about my grandparents from 70 years ago, including the scents of Grandma's cologne, and Grandpa's coffee and cigarettes. A whiff of Chantilly brings back the sweetest memory of my grandmother.
DeleteWhen I smell cigarette lighter fluid, I am at my grandmother's side!
DeletePerfume, absolutely. And I think I can remember the sound of my grandmother playing mahjongg with her friends. Hmm.
DeletePerfume can inspire memories. About a month before my second birthday, I recall going to a memorial for my grandmother who died a few months before. I have no memory of my grandmother, though. Her baby sister was at the memorial. When we saw her again, I was 15 and she was in her early seventies. I remembered this particular perfume on her. The same perfume would smell differently on another person. Though I did not recall this person, I did remember the perfume.
DeleteWow. SO intriguing..and you remember how old you were because you know the date of the memorial?
DeleteKaren in Ohio: Chantilly for my grandmother, too.
DeleteI think my first memory is of seeing asparagus growing in a bed near our house and thinking how strange they looked, the stalks rising straight out of the dirt. We were living in Charlotte, NC, then, and we moved to Lynchburg, VA, when I was almost five, so I must have been four. I remember more about my life in Virginia, but still not long sequences of events. Even though many of my memories aren't from photographs or stories about the past, they still feel like "stills" in my mind.
ReplyDeleteOh, that is fascinating! That they feel like stills. Yes. Definitely. That’s brilliant. Saw the memories aren’t like videos but they are of an event, a moment in an event. Fascinating. (And I still think that about asparagus :-))
DeleteThis memory has to be false but I remember my mother holding me up to see the Christmas tree and my grandmother telling her that new babies couldn’t see. All the time I was looking at the multicolored lights. Can this be possible? It’s such a clear memory and not one I was ever told about. I would have been three weeks old.
ReplyDeleteFrom five years on I have jillions of memories, many about clothing. I’ll never forget watching my mother pack up a Mittens for Britain box and sending my little fur trimmed (rabbit I suspect) bonnet off, along with the matching coat. I’m still resentful!
Three weeks old? That seems unlikely, doesn’t it? Did somebody tell you that story?
DeleteAnd yes, I love your story about the mittens etc.… You loved something, and it was taken from you.
We lived in a duplex until I was four, and then moved around the corner to the house my parents bought. I have several memories of the time at the duplex. I remember that a building was being constructed right next door and I dropped my little red paisley ball into the construction hole and we couldn't get it out. I loved that ball. I remember our third birthday party and blowing out the candles. I remember being confused because mom told us that the construction project on the other side of the street was a bank. I only knew about banks from stories and animals lived there. I didn't understand how you could build a bank. We had bunk beds (this was probably after we moved) and I remember worrying that the twin in the top bunk would be in more danger from bombs (we heard a lot of stories about life during WWII in the UK from dad) and the twin in the bottom bunk would be in danger from a dog biting her (I was bitten by a dog when I was 4). I also remember being in the hospital when I was 4--just flashes of scenes from that traumatic time. So quite a few memories, blurry though. Margaret remembers different things from childhood than I do.
ReplyDeleteOh, you loved the ball--so a loss of a beloved thing is a memory. And that is so cute about the bank! And I love how we all try to parse out how the world works.
DeleteI remember playing on the sandbox at 3. No pictures in the family album so I believe it’s an actual memory. My mother insisted she remembered her brother’s birth when she was 16 months.
ReplyDeleteWhat do you remember about it?
DeleteI remember the feel of the sand and I have been told that I loved to throw the sand which stuck in my hair.
DeleteMy earliest memory is around age 2. I remember being in our bedroom and my mother changing my younger baby brother's diaper. We were getting ready to leave and she asked me to hold his bottle. I remember throwing it at him. Yikes! I remember our bedroom exactly (confirmed by my mother years later when I asked her). I have clear and vivid memories from that time on travels we made (age 4), sleeping in my parents bed during a hail storm (age 4), numerous memories in grade school, etc.
ReplyDeleteP.S. (Above) ... my brother and I are very close and always end conversations, "I love you." Maybe he didn't know about me throwing a glass bottle at him. Haha.)
DeleteNow he does....xoxoo SO you remember our bedroom from age 2?
DeleteI’m not sure I have real memories before five, they were mostly told me many times.
ReplyDeleteBut I remember clearly two things that are related to school.
The age required to begin primary school was 6 but my father thought that at 5-1/2, I was ready and signed me up.
First memory very important: my father and I, hand in hand, walking along the very busy street and the crossing of others, while I learned the road to go to school every day because I would go by myself and I had to memorize the trajectory, the more dangerous places and were I could find help in case of need.
Second one: I’m in class since a few weeks and very happy to be there when the principal nun comes in and asks me to follow her to her office. There she says that as I don’t have the age required, she can’t keep me and I have to return home. The shock! I returned home crying all the way long.
My father who knew people made sure that I could go back. After this experience, I was fearful to be asked to leave again but I completed my primary without interruption.
Oh, such a trauma! And there was so much focus on it, too..which set it in your mind.
DeleteWhat a fun exercise this is! My earliest memory was around 4 years old and I saw my father sitting in his reading chair… reading… and I walked over to the arm of the chair and I remember whining to him, “why can’t I read like you?” (Meaning on my own without someone helping me). He told me that I could learn to read and I sat down with him and remember him explain something to me and I remember feeling happy to know that I would be reading independently one day. A year-or-so later I recall being in the passenger seat of our car on our way to my first day of kindergarten and I told my father that I could not wait to read books with my friends at school (and to learn how to write my name in cursive!).
ReplyDeleteThat is so dear, Stacia.
DeleteAW, that's so cute--and interesting , that you didn't understand about "learning" to read.
DeleteMemory is so tricky, as you are finding out. I had remembered something wrong for years, only to be accidentally faced with the proof via a picture, at some point. This isn't the memory I am talking about, but I could have sworn I had never touched a gun, at least not until later in my life. Then I came across a picture of me holding some sort of long gun - shotgun, rifle, I have no idea. I am certain that my father took the picture and because of the jacket I am wearing and the mittens, I know I was a high school senior at the time. Absolutely no memory of doing that, so no idea why.
ReplyDeleteI might have been three with my earliest actual memory. My father, who trapped for fur in the winter, brought home a beaver. I can still remember being petrified about that animal with that tail.
WHoa. A beaver. A dead beaver? Yes, that would be a very sticky memory!
Delete
ReplyDeleteMy earliest memory was when I was two. I was I my crib in the kitchen of the old farmhouse where we lived and I was alone; I have no idea where my parents of siblings were. Suddenly a fire broke out in the kitchen. So I flew (or perhaps floated -- memories can be strange) and got a bucket of water and doused the flames. I'm, not sure where the bucket or the water came from, but I remember lugging the bucket by its handle to the fire. When my parents came back they did not suspect a thing; I was pretending sleep, having flown/floated back to my crib, and thinking quietly to myself what a good boy I was. Now, some might think this was just a dream, but how could it be? I am noted for my verisimilitude, my total honesty, and my accurate recall, as well as my big, beautiful brain.
:-)
DeleteAwww..maybe that was your first remembered dream? That's pretty fascinating!
DeleteI have no idea what might be my earliest memory, which may result from my sister always telling me my memories were wrong but hers were right. I give up.
ReplyDeleteHowever, my brother brought me two binders when he was here at Christmas that are our letters that we wrote to the family over the years. Those were the days when we were a young family, and would pop 5 pieces of onion skin in the typewriter with 4 carbon papers, and type out supposedly weekly piles of drivel to the family. I rather thought – oh, really? I have them all in a binder downstairs, and so thanked him and ignored them.
At 4pm yesterday, it was semi-dark, I was really bored and didn’t want to make supper, so decided to have a go. In spite of poor vision, even poorer print copies, I set about reading. The first was December 1989, and they go backwards from there. Time drifted away, and memories were triggered or questioned. As I go back, I pass Elizabeth dying at 2 ½ (not mentioned, but I am aware of the time), and of her playing with straight pins at my feet while I type – and I let her! Of my first miscarriage, just mentioned in passing; of the many births and deaths and animals as we began farming. There are letters from my parents in which my father mentions in passing that Grandad is not good, and Gran is stressed in caring for him, although he never outright says that. He does mention that Gran burned something in a pot on the stove – something that she was cooking in a can – and that the kitchen ceiling was now covered in soot, and they would have to clean it (by hand with cloth and bucket).
There are sentences about what is being done construction-wise, and I wonder which house it is, and have trouble with the time line. There are a few ‘dropped’ lines where I say that Jack and the kids went out looking for sticks to burn – we were cold!, and that this Thursday was hot dog day at school – I went to help and that meant I could bring the ‘left-overs’ home for us for supper.
I can’t take many at a time, but it is an interesting revival of things that happened – that really my memories may not remember exactly as written. Maybe my sister was right (NOT) and my memories were always wrong. They are, however, mine.
Oh, now, that is an absolute treasure! Aren't you so happy to have them?
DeleteYou all are incredible! This is a treasure! I have a meeting and I will be back in a little bit… Keep them coming!
ReplyDeleteMy first (?) clear memory is when I was just past my 3rd birthday. I had blood poisoning on one arm, and when I was taken to the doctor they discovered I had pneumonia. There had to be penicillin then, but it required admitting me to the hospital. The terror and confusion of being alone in a big hospital room, in a crib (my sister was in our crib by then), with no toys or any distraction is so vivid, more than 70 years later. I'm sure there were other children in the room, but they must have been too sick to interact.
ReplyDeleteI also remember our dog Fluffy, who we got when I was not yet two. But that is a much hazier memory, and not a super pleasant one. I was always afraid of dogs, until I met a wildlife photographer who did not have housepets, but loads of wild creatures!
You remind me of my memories of getting my tonsils out at age four. When they put the ether mask (or whatever they used to put people out in 1956) on my face, I saw crows circling on a yellow background. After I came home, I got to have these special two-inch cubes of ice cream, which only tonsillectomy patients got (my older sisters had preceded me in the procedure).
DeleteWhat a vivid memory of that hallucination, Edith!
DeleteEdith, the crows! You certainly hallucinated a perfect mystery book covr!
DeleteYes, my sister was sick when she was four, and I would have been..6 or seven. I truly e=remember her coming home from the hospital in a light light blue coat and matching bonnet, and my father was carrying her. And I wonder if little kids in the hospital don't understand that they will not be there forever, so it's especially traumatic. And memorable.
DeleteBack then most parents didn't think children capable of understanding much, so we were not told what was happening. Now parents stay in the same room with their sick children, at least some of the time, but it was really scary to be all alone at that age.
DeleteI fell into the neighbor's fish pond when I was about three. It might have had six inches of water in it. I endured a serious scrubbing to get the pond gunk out of my hair. I wasn't afraid of water so no trauma.
ReplyDeleteHmmm...do you remember how it happened?
DeleteIt was springtime in New Jersey, a bunch of kids picking up sticks from winter storm damage and running around a neighbor's backyard. We probaby poked our sticks into the pond, I was jostled and fell in, more suprised than anything.
DeleteSO sweet..I bet you were so surprised!
DeleteOoohh, the upcoming book sounds wonderful! I'm with you, Hank, in having trouble separating what I actually remember from pictures and what I've been told. I do remember being in my crib with the light on and looking at the dark window at the foot of the crib. Not very exciting, but that makes me think it's not something someone else told me!
ReplyDeleteYes, that does sound like an authentic memory. And being in a crib pinpoints the time a bit!
DeleteAt the age of three I well remember being in the hospital and having my tonsils removed. The overhead operating room light blazing white and the smell of ether as the mask was applied to my face are very vivid memories. I felt as if I was suffocating and I was frantic with fear. The night before the surgery I also clearly remember being in a hospital crib, holding out my arms and crying as my father had to leave for the night. How does one assure a panicked three year old that her parents were coming back to get her?! My father remembered trying to comfort me as well as convince me that he and my mother were coming back to get me. At the age of four I started dancing classes and I remember being in a large room with mirrors and ballet handrails. A group lesson meant a dozen or more of us of a similar age in a long line and our dance teacher working hard to keep that line straight. There were only two boys in that class, both brothers, ages 4 and 5 and Jackie and Billy made it quite clear they did not want to be there. I remember most of my dance recitals for nearly the next decade because I usually threw up the day of the performance :-) out of stage fright. I'm amazed how much I still loved dance despite those damn recitals. At the age of six I recall being madly in love with Roy Rogers despite "competing" with Dale Evans...lol...and telling my first grade teacher Miss Nugent that she should try to get him and Trigger to visit our school. All while consistently asking my parents to get a horse and converting the garage into a barn. Mom said I "lived" in a Dale Evans skirt and blouse, cowgirl hat and boots with a holster and cap gun. The clothes ensemble fell apart because I wore it so much. A few unpleasant and painful memories that come to mind were being hit by a baseball bat my brother was swinging as I came up behind him and falling on a metal tent stake at the age of 8. Ouch...I still have a large scar just below my knee as a result of the tent accident. Despite those childhood injuries which many of us managed to have happen to us my childhood memories of growing up beside a dairy farm, a few escaped cows occasionally showing up in our vegetable garden, the flapping sound of baseball cards attached to the spokes of my bike and neighborhood basketball games under a streetlight make me feel blessed that I can still remember so much of a happy childhood.
ReplyDeleteSo many fascinating things!I love that you remember, even the tent stake, ykes. And it seems like panicking over being left alone is a theme, and remembering being sick. (and aw, my mom used to tell my how I had a straw cowboy hat for summer and a felt one for winter, and I would not take off my cowgirl outfit. But I don't remember that.. And yes, it was all about Dale Evans, but I think I was told that.
DeleteEach week I eagerly waited to see the Roy Rogers TV show and hear its theme song..."Happy Trails to You" while I "rode" my stick horse all over the house. Do you remember those stick ponies, Hank? One of the greatest toys ever created to spark a young child's imagination. Oh how we loved our cowboy western shows back then!!!
DeleteABSOLUTELY. Yes, I do remember that..somehow. Outside. When we lived on Cherry Street.
DeleteI am two (but three months short of my third birthday) and on Christmas at my grandmother's house in Iowa City ... I can see her patterned rug I was given a stuffed dog named Bowzy (still have it). Later (February, not quite three) at home in Des Moines I was very sick but couldn't tell my parents where it hurt. My Dad broke my high chair in bits in frustration and threw them against the wall gouging out bits of plaster. I can't remember the next part that he bundled me up and took me to the emergency room where they scolded him for exposing everyone there to scarlet fever. Next memory is age four so three must have been boring.
ReplyDeleteOh, that is vivid! And a whole story, too, not a moment.
DeleteMy first snow: My father wakes me up in the middle of the night and carries me out to the porch and watch it fall for a bit, then he scoops a handful off of the top of the railing and takes it inside to show me that it's frozen water. He was in grad school in Seattle then, so I must have been three. Memories like this are so precious. Thanks for reminding me. Can't wait to read the new book, Hank.
ReplyDeleteOh, gosh really? That is so lovely!
DeletePaula here ~ I don’t remember much at all because I didn’t want to. I figured if I didn’t remember, then time would go faster and I could get on with my life. But, I definitely remember things from being around 10. Newly moved into a rental that was next to a paddock with a sweet horse. I remember feeding him carrots. He would pull his lips as far away from his teeth as possible and slowly and carefully take the carrot. I thought he was saying he wouldn’t bite my fingers. Then many times I sat under the willow tree in the front yard across from a pear orchard in bloom and stare into the house wondering why I was born into this family. I recall another rental that had a cherry tree. Sat in it reading eating cherries and shewing the robins away from the few remaining cherries. My reading was often interrupted by my creation of stories of adventures where I was Cherry Ames or Nancy Drew.
ReplyDeleteOh, that's an interesting thought..you didn't want to remember. Or be present. By 10, yes, things become more clear. Maybe because we can articulate them?
DeleteI was three, and my mother said it was a memory, because she didn't know about it, so never told me. I was staying at my grandmother's, and we went down the road to visit a friend of hers. I ate a banana, and got to play with her cat. (To this day, I like cats as well as bananas.) It is an actual memory.
ReplyDeleteOkay--that is real! Perfect. Because it was unusual? Or kind of..a separate part of your life?
DeleteMy earliest memories were centered around various illnesses. Age 5 I remember being in an oxygen tent (before they had the cannula) and feeling like I had my own space in the hospital and no one could touch me - wrong, but that is how a 5-yo reasons. Around 6, I distinctly remember being in the school cafeteria and getting sick into my metal lunch box. Talk about a sensory memory! Yuck! I was probably 6 when I received a penicillin injection to which I apparently had a bad reaction because I was seeing the coolest bunnies flying around the room and my mom was very, very upset. Heck of a way to learn you had an allergic reaction to something. Next vivid memory came, again in a hospital, where I was having minor surgery and my sister was having her tonsils and adenoids removed. She hemorrhaged and they had to pack her sinuses so folks couldn't understand what she was saying, except for me. I was her interpreter until the packing was removed. -- Victoria
ReplyDeleteFlying bunnies! can you still picture them?
DeleteI just remember sitting on the exam table and being fascinated that bunnies could fly in a circle - not that they could fly, but the circle thing really caught my eye.
DeleteThink flying squirrels, only bunnies! That the best description of the bunnies, but tiny me still loved that they flew in a circle.-- Victoria
DeleteVERY good flyers!
DeleteI have a lot of memories from when I was about 3-1/2. There are plenty of photos from that time, but I remember the events that led up to those photos clearly. My younger brother was just toddling around at that time and I thought he was an adorable pudgy baby. I have a memory of sitting on the floor in the kitchen, eating a piece of coconut cake for my birthday (and my aunt scolding me, reminding me that my older brother, my Irish twin, also had a birthday). I remember tagging along as my mom did chores while my older sibs were at school, so I must have been four then. I remember the bread truck stopping by and my mom buying bread and sometimes a treat for a mid-morning snack. Also, the spice seller would come by, my mom buying a bottle of vanilla. By age 10 or 11 I was focused on school--and on family--the ever growing families of my mom and dad's siblings getting married and having kids. Our home was a weekend gathering spot for them all.
ReplyDeleteThe spice seller? Where were you? And isn't it fascinating that we have particular memories, not whole videos of our lives.
DeleteLooking forward to your new book, Hank! My earliest memory is walking in a field near our house with my father. I must have been about 2 1/2. Many of my next memories are probably from photos, or stories. It’s amazing how we see them in our minds, almost home movies without sound. Music and aromas will definitely bring back memories.
ReplyDeleteYes, agree, music will do it! Walking in a field..I wonder why you remember that.
DeleteEarliest of my own memory: riding in the backseat of my parents’ 1938 convertible with an umbrella over my head in one of those car seats from late 1940s (mainly a toy with a red steering wheel). Although my parents insisted I could NOT remember this because “you were just 1 year old”, they did say the umbrella was regularly used in the car. I still 70plus years late can see the scene and almost feel the dripping rain. Elisabeth
ReplyDeleteAh ha! Proof you were right! Love that.
DeleteI think we remember things that were unusually good or bad. They stick out in our memories. I also remember clothes. To this day, when I was 6 years old, I vividly remember an print dress that had yellow, green, red, blue tiny flowers. It also had little bright red heart shaped buttons. My mother had been a seamstress for a French designer and she would design and make beautiful clothes for us kids. The clothes she made for me (up through high school) were exceptionally beautiful. I wish I still had them - and that I could fit into them!
ReplyDeleteoh, yes, clothes! I do wish I remembered that..but the thoughts are so colored by the photos... I do remember seeing my sister's little white mary janes, but I would have been 6, which is not really surprising.
DeleteClothes! I remember I did not like getting clothes as gifts when I was a child. I wanted TOYS!
DeleteI know this is real, because when I told my mother it was my earliest memory, at first she didn't know when and where it could have happened. Then when she realized what it was, she said I couldn't possibly remember that because I wasn't even two. But I do remember. I was in the backseat of a car. My parents were in the front seat and I was playing with a hardhat that belonged to my daddy. It was dark out. That's the whole memory. But my mother said there was only a short time when my daddy would have had a hardhat--a temporary job. The stronger memory is of getting off the train in the dark with my daddy carrying me. He walked with me down the road, about a half mile to my grandparents' house. It was January, and very cold and I was wearing a warm coat. The next thing I knew my daddy had disappeared and I was sitting in a rocking chair sobbing uncontrollably. My grandmother and my aunt, who lived with them, were trying to comfort me, telling me my daddy would be back, that he had gone back to Fort Worth because my mother was having a baby. And that soon I would have a baby sister or brother. I was 3 1/2.
ReplyDeleteThat is SO interesting! Just those little nuggets. Hmm.
DeleteBTW, Hank thanks for the adorable photos.
ReplyDeleteOh, thank you! One of my parents' best friends in Chicago when we lived there was a photographer named Arthur Siegel, who studied at the Bauhaus/Chicago Institute of Design, where my mother also went to art school.) He turned out to b very famous, and was not a "kid" photographer, but he took lots of photos of me like these, the doll and the teeth. Do I remember that? Nope.
DeleteFascinating. My earliest memory is very early. I remember being on my tummy pulling at a blue textured rug and that it felt hard and stiff. I was about five when I asked my mother about it. She said it was in our first apartment in Jackson Village, and we moved from there before my first birthday. She also said I couldn't possibly remember it, but I do. Next up is a memory of my brother pushing me on a swing. I was laughing, and when he pushed me up, I could see my white high-top leather shoes. I must have been two. At age 11, I remembered quite a bit about being five. Kindergarten, friends, the first trip to Florida. That may be generational, though, Hank. Back in my day, most moms were stay-at-home, so our first experience with a lot of kids came not at preschool, but in kindergarten. It was a game-changer to be out of the house with a 'gang' for four or five hours every day. Quite memorable. These days, kids are exposed to that much earlier, and memories may vary since the events of a five-year-old are not quite as unique.
ReplyDeleteOh, that is a good point! xx
DeleteMy first memory-that-I-can-assign-an-age to was when I was three. We had gone to Disneyland and were staying at the Heidi Motel (that part was told to me by my mother). The memory is of our clothes hanging in the motel closet, completely covered in ants. So covered all you could see was black. And I remember the maid, in an actual white maid’s uniform, looking at the clothes with a horrified expression. I don’t have real memories of the visit to Disneyland, just of the ants and the maid. — Pat S
ReplyDeleteWHAT??? Oh my gosh, that is a horror movie! Yow.
DeleteAnd Hank, thanks! I needed to see that adorable baby picture of you this morning!
ReplyDeleteAwww....I wish I remembered!
DeleteI have many early memories--one before I could talk when my mother thought I swallowed a pin and I clearly remember my frustration not being able to tell her it had fallen to the floor. And I remember the big x-ray machine they sent me through--I was about 18 months. I remember being in a crib with my older brother's crib (we're 13 months apart) right next to mine. And I remember a nun telling me that God chooses you to be a nun and you have no choice but to go--for the next six months I prayed every night that I would NOT be chosen!! That was probably first grade. At eleven I could recall all these stories and more. Now some of them are fading.
ReplyDeleteAw, the nun story is the cutest! Sounds like your prayers were heard. :-) ANd that's interesting about the fading. Hmm.
DeleteI'm not sure how old I was, two or three. I was in a bedroom, supposedly taking a nap. I had a penny and was playing with it. Put it in my mouth and accidentally swallowed it. I don't remember if I told anyone about it. That's my earliest memory, doing something dumb.
ReplyDeletePoor thing! Guilt! Very powerful emotion...
DeleteI find these earliest memories so fascinating!
ReplyDeleteSO agree! xx
DeleteThe oldest memory I can put words to happened when I was around two years old: my mother's right hand reaching for me. This is significant because she had ligament surgery between her index finger and thumb, and I remember the huge, black stitches coming for me and scaring me.
ReplyDeleteI couldn't really put this into words until my dad had similar surgery when I was an adult and they were comparing notes about how things had changed surgically -- and how Dad didn't have to do as much at that point as Mom had when I was little.
Oh, gosh, that's very vivid. xx
DeleteThe older I get the more I recognize how unreliable memories are. Every time we call up a memory we are likely to adjust it, however slightly. Then there's the input of other people telling us about a memory we have and adding their twist.
ReplyDeleteIt's all very ephemeral and adjustable.
Exactly! That's one theme of my book. (Besides the murders, of course...:-))
DeleteAs an old Gen X'er, it's impossible for me to remember what I remembered at age 11 about what happened at age 5. Funny though, at Christmas, my older brother, younger sister, parents, and I were all together for the first time in a long time. My sister told us a couple of things she remembered happening when she was in kindergarten and they were completely false memories. One example: my dad was in the Army, and we moved the summer before she started kindergarten. She told us when we piled into the car to drive off that morning, we forgot her at the empty house, and didn't realize it and come back for her "until it was dark outside." Did not happen. No idea where such a "memory" would come from.
ReplyDeleteOh, gosh, that is fascinating! And she has believed it all these years... Got to wonder where it came from.
DeleteBackground: I was 4 as I recall. I saw a set of toy cars/trucks at a local store I begged, begged, begged my parents to buy for me. They said no but not why. Several days later, my dad told me to grab my coat we were going for a ride. He took me back to the store and bought the set. I rode home with it sitting on my lap.
ReplyDeleteHere''s the part I actually remember: Sitting down on the floor the minute I got home, taking the toys out of the box and playing with them while my mother insisted (several times) that I had to take my coat off NOW.
That is so cute--you were SO happy! And again, connected to a coveted possession.
DeleteThe one memory that comes to mind - and I have thought about it so many times throughout my life - is when I was taken to the hospital by my mother to "visit the nurses." My mother was a nurse, so that made sense. What is most vivid is sitting on the edge of the hospital bed watching my mother leave and starting to cry (apparently I never stopped). I was there to have my tonsils removed, and in "those" days of yore, parents didn't stay with their children. I believe I was four.
ReplyDeleteTonsils! Clearly a pivotal thing. To "visit the nurses"--hmm. Did you believe her at the time?
DeleteI did - and throughout the years, every now and again, I would lovingly remind her of that "visit with the nurses." She did feel badly, especially since she was told I wouldn't stop crying and the nurses had to put the bed in the hall so I wouldn't keep the other kids awake - eesh!!! But - I clearly survived that "visit."
DeleteDee, also back in the days when I had my tonsils out (1952 ish) a hospital stay for tonsils was the night before and then 2 or three nights and days after. I cried so much and was so afraid the night after I had them out, the doctor discharged me at noon. Only a half day after! Amazing break from protocol and before insurance controlled days in hospital! Elisabeth
DeleteOh, so she felt guilty about it..aw, that's so human... Just a mom trying to do her best.
DeleteThese photos of you are beyond adorable, Hank! May I ask if you remember your first day of school?
ReplyDeleteMemories are funny. I barely recall my first day of school, since I started school at age 2 and 4 months. I remember a good friend and her mom. They came with us to the City to see the ? Dancing Horses ? from Austria. I remember driving across a bridge with my mom to visit them.
And I remember a 12 year old who visited us with his parents. He could hear though he signed very well. I never got his name until 25 years later when we were visiting him, his wife and new baby. I finally made the connection.
My first clear memory is wearing tartan plaid uniform as a student at Catholic school. I remember everyone from our teacher to nuns to students knew sign language. Even the hearing students in the older grades knew sign language. Now I know that was rare because when I went to public schools, the only people who knew sign language was our teacher, teacher's aides and my deaf /hard of hearing classmates.
Do I remember my first day of school? Ahhh....no. I don't remember anything about school until fifth grade. When the teacher of my class had her own daughter in the class, and I remember deeply feeling that it wasn't fair. ALso, I was always trying to draw horses, and Nancy was better at it than I was. But, ha! you just reminded me I do remember some teacher telling my mother that I had a very advanced vocabulary for someone my age, and oh! I remember that it was a result of me writing something that began: "Although I am not seven yet..." She was very impressed by "Although" and my sentence structure. SO funny!
DeleteThe dancing horses--yes, the Lippizans! (or Lippizaners? I think either is correct.)
Hank, thank you. Yes, I think it was Lippizans (or Lippizaners). You reminded me of a memory from school. I was about 7 years old (no idea what grade - it was a class of grade 1 to grade 6). My new teacher got mad because I always asked "Why?' It really annoyed some people when I asked "why?"
DeleteMy first memory is of being in a crib, sharing a room with my slightly older sister who was in her bed, and we were laughing hard, pointing at the light fixture which we had named "Gurgley." My father came in and looked at us as if to say, "What's going on with these kids?" But I don't know what he said, actually. We moved out of that house when I was two. I recall riding in the back of a truck during the move, my sister and I shouting "Round the corner go!" as we pulled into the driveway of our new home. My father also had memories of infancy and very early childhood. He remembered the view from inside a baby carriage.
ReplyDeleteI love how specific these are, and how they show the boundaries of your world. xx SO sweet!
DeleteI vaguely remember the mats we napped on when I was in preschool at age...4? Oh, and I have another vague memory of looking out an ice-glazed window in the Blizzard of '77, so I would have been 3.
ReplyDeleteThe mats! So interesting. And the blizzard, how weird that must have been for little you! Again with no concept of when it would be over, if ever...
DeleteI remember being very young and running along a railroad track platform. I really thought I'd dreamed it until I put it together with a family story of me yelling, "Look how run I can fast," and Mom confirmed that it had happened at the Transportation Museum.
ReplyDeleteI also remember loving kindergarten, the little kitchen, the dolls, storytime, kind teacher. I'm not sure I remember telling my parents I wanted to be a teacher or if they told me about it later, but I did make that decision in kindergarten -- I'm glad she was so good.
-- Storyteller Mary
What a life-changing person, and I love that you remember it!
DeleteI left a comment about my first memory at age two on the facebook page, but after reading all these fascinating comments, I wanted to add a little more. I remember many, many things from that time on. We didn’t have a camera when I was young so my memories aren’t from pictures but they are very vivid, some just stills while others are like movies. I was born in Texas so I didn’t see snow until we moved to NYC right after my third birthday. We lived in a second floor apartment. My mom put a dishpan out the window and brought it in for us to play with. I remember how really cold it was and my hands being red. We lived in Coney Island and I remember the beach and the amusement rides, which I wasn’t old enough to ride and I am still mad about that! lol! I remember riding the subway, going to the butcher shop where the butcher used to give us a slice of bologna, and the drug store where the pharmacist removed a splinter from my hand. Oddly, and this speaks to the unreliability of memory that others mentioned, I have a very specific memory from age eleven which I know is wrong. Most of the episode, so to speak, is correct and jibes with my sister’s and mom’s recollection. One part isn’t true and I have seen written proof, and yet it absolutely feels like my own memory is correct!
ReplyDeleteI can date this because it happened the day my grandparents and aunt moved to a new house. I was just 2 1/2 and I insisted on helping. Finally, I was handed a pair of my aunt’s fluffy pink slippers. I have a vivid tactile memory of clutching them as I climbed the steps to their new home.
ReplyDelete