HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: A brand new visitor to the Reds' world today–and we are so thrilled to welcome her! And the amazing Rhodi Hawk is asking a very provocative question–see what you think at the end.
“When the Mirror Hangs Upside-Down”
by Rhodi Hawk
On a snowy Colorado night in the 1970s, I tore up the stairs, screaming, to escape my aunt’s basement. You’d think my sister and I had found a man wielding a bag of bones down there. But no. We had merely watched something scary on TV.
The thing is, it felt like something had happened to us. The terror burned its brand onto my psyche. Forty years later, I remember every detail. The red and gold weave of the sofa as I hid my eyes. The scent of coffee, cigarettes, and heating oil. The way my sister finally burst from her seat in a dash for the stairs, which mobilized me from frozen terror to galloping terror. I can feel the imprint of the textured linoleum beneath my fingers as I clawed stair treads, vaulting up to safety with hands and feet.
Fast forward twenty years to the 1990s. That same show came up again in the TV listings, and I resolved to face my fear with a friend, this time in my sunny living room. I warned her it was going to be terrifying.
Well. The show was ridiculous. Pure camp. In the climax, a cursed broach comes to life as a rat the size of a Mastiff, but it just looks like a big stuffed animal. My friend and I were palsied with laughter. Also, I was mystified by my little-girl terror, which made no sense in my new reality twenty years later.
The show was called Night Gallery, an anthology like The Twilight Zone. Both featured Rod Serling. The name of the episode was “A Feast of Blood,” based on the short story by mystery writer Dulcie Gray.
Now, in the 2020s, three more decades have passed, and I have yet another perspective. I see that the writing was actually quite good—it’s just that the monstery climax fell victim to cinematic limitations of the day. And it starred Sondra Locke—something even my twentysomething self didn’t pick up on despite having seen her in several Clint Eastwood movies.
It amazes me how our perceptions change over time. Sometimes there’s contrast even in the short term.
After a neurological disease put me in a wheelchair, I gained a new delight in small things.
Even new novels: I read Lisa Jewell’s None of This Is True twice in three months, and the second reading felt like an entirely different book. A straight murder suspense became an investigation into vagaries of intense relationships. Though I clocked these things in both readings, they morphed in detail and emotion. I understand, of course, that the change in me informed the change in what I read. It was as if the mirror had been hanging upside down, then got flipped.
In my new novel This Town Won’t Tell, a roadhouse waitress perceives herself as a lone wolf in her snowy mountain town. That perception changes after she is preyed upon by dangerous people, forcing her to reach out to the townsfolk who have always been
Have you ever read something, only to re-read it later with an entirely different experience?
I’ll confess something to you. For all my maturing, and despite my newly evolved analytical lens, as I typed the words “A Feast of Blood” just now, I still felt a whole-body tension—coupled with giddy hysterics.
HANK: SO interesting!~ I am not much of a re-reader, I have to admit, but I saw the musical Miss Saigon many many years ago, and thought, yes, fine, this is fine. And then last year-ish, I saw it again, and was knocked out with the depth of it. Certainly the show had not changed–but I had.
And in high school they forced me to read Our Town, the play by Thornton Wilder, when I was in high school and I thought it was so silly and melodramatic. Now I cannot even think about it without crying.
How about you, Reds and Readers?
Rhodi Hawk is the International Thriller Writers award-winning author of several novels, including her latest, This Town Won’t Tell. In recent years, a motor neuron disease has left Rhodi a wheelchair warrior with impaired cognitive ability. That neurodivergence informs Janey’s struggle with reading in This Town Won’t Tell. Devoted to wildlife and the natural world, Rhodi lives in piney woods with a pair of vultures, her dog, Frankie, her cat, Pumpkin, and her husband, thriller writer Hank Schwaeble.
Connect
The book: This Town Won’t Tell
Rhodi Hawk’s newsletter
@rhodihawk on Instagram, Facebook, and more
RhodiHawk.com
I’ll confess something to you. For all my maturing, and despite my newly evolved analytical lens, as I typed the words “A Feast of Blood” just now, I still felt a whole-body tension—coupled with giddy hysterics.
HANK: SO interesting!~ I am not much of a re-reader, I have to admit, but I saw the musical Miss Saigon many many years ago, and thought, yes, fine, this is fine. And then last year-ish, I saw it again, and was knocked out with the depth of it. Certainly the show had not changed–but I had.
And in high school they forced me to read Our Town, the play by Thornton Wilder, when I was in high school and I thought it was so silly and melodramatic. Now I cannot even think about it without crying.
How about you, Reds and Readers?
Rhodi Hawk is the International Thriller Writers award-winning author of several novels, including her latest, This Town Won’t Tell. In recent years, a motor neuron disease has left Rhodi a wheelchair warrior with impaired cognitive ability. That neurodivergence informs Janey’s struggle with reading in This Town Won’t Tell. Devoted to wildlife and the natural world, Rhodi lives in piney woods with a pair of vultures, her dog, Frankie, her cat, Pumpkin, and her husband, thriller writer Hank Schwaeble.
Connect
The book: This Town Won’t Tell
Rhodi Hawk’s newsletter
@rhodihawk on Instagram, Facebook, and more
RhodiHawk.com
Congratulations, Rhodi, on your new book . . . .
ReplyDeleteI've always enjoyed science fiction and "Night Gallery" was a show that I watched regularly [although I have no recollection of that particular episode] . . . I mention it only because, although I seldom re-read books I've read as an adult, I have re-read some science fiction that I first read many years ago and discovered that the story affected me differently, the result, I suppose, of a different perspective gained over time and life . . . .
Oh, that is so fascinating. And very wise. And also a testament to the story, right? Because it holds up over all those years.
DeleteFrom Celia: Big congratulations Rhodi, I can certainly relate to that flight or fight dash for stairs. That said I am a great re-reader though Science Fiction isn't my first choice.
DeleteRight now I am overwhelmed with reading time and on recommendations choose to try an audiobook. Now I have reread this several times but what turned up were wonderful little designs of the fictional place, other character flaws and positives all of which added to my enjoyment. But looking back I remember the gist of Aldus Huxley's Brave New World which I read in the 1960's and see what I remember and if at this point my past embarrassment (age and innocence!)'but wanting more will reappear.
Thank you, Joan! I find it fascinating that the milemarkers of our lives lead us to such different perspectives. Your re-reading sci fi has the added layer of how science and technology are constantly changing.
DeleteCelia--you mention one that I will probably avoid re-reading for the foreseeable future, haha. I just read Huxley's BRAVE NEW WORLD last year, and it haunted me so much I still shudder. This means, of course, that it had impact. That's a good thing!
DeleteWelcome, Rhodi, and congratulations on the new book! I would have been terrified right along with you as a child, and I'm glad you got to put those demons to rest as an adult.
ReplyDeleteI read Poe and Sherlock Holmes as a child. I wonder if some of the terrifying bits would scare me as much if I re-read them now (that speckled band, oh my...).
I still think about that story!
DeleteIt's a good question, Edith. I have to say, I just revisited Poe's THE BELLS, and although I picked up on different elements compared to in my youth, the emotional effect was the same. Maybe it has to do with how writers like Poe and Doyle draw such powerful tone and atmosphere, without relying so much on rote plot points.
DeleteCongratulations! I immediately think of my terror at "Masque of the Red Death" the movie version! I was terrified, but, unlike you, have never been willing to go back and watch it. Now I am challenged. Looking forward to "This Town won't Tell."
ReplyDeleteI think it might have new meaning after Covid….
DeleteHa! It would be interesting to see how it lands for you. I think I'm bolder about revisiting suspenseful movies or TV shows compared to books, probably because books bring so much internalization that lingers.
DeleteCongratulations on the new book, Rhodi! The first book that comes to mind, actually the first of several series, is Stephen R. Donaldson's fantasy, "Lord Foul's Bane." The main character is mighty hard to like. He does despicable things and it is only upon several, yes several, readings that I came to understand a bit about why he did those things. That came with maturity, life experiences, and a dab of earned wisdom. Amazing how that combination of things can reframe almost any book when read again. -- Victoria
ReplyDeleteOh that’s a new one for me!
DeleteOh Victoria, I am so thrilled to encounter another reader of Stephen R. Donaldson! I read (and re-read) both the Thomas Covenant trilogies as well as Mordant's Need books and a collection of his short stories. His writing felt revolutionary to me and I really loved it!!!
DeleteVictoria, I'm so glad you're mentioning the Donaldson series! I have been eyeing it for some time. You just nudged me over the edge--it's added to my tbr.
DeleteCongratulations Rhodi! I don't like being terrified, so I'm going to mention something a little different. When I re-read the My Friend Flicka trilogy as an adult, I understood all the relationship stuff that I had missed when I read it as a young one. It's still just a beautiful story but deeper and more meaningful.
ReplyDeleteMean big sisters Margaret and Gillian encouraged our little sister, Kit to watch a scary TV show with us one night. We were living in the UK at the time and it was her turn for the single bed. We thought if she got scared enough, she would give up her turn. We were right.
Sisters! That’s hilarious!
DeleteHaha, Gillian, that reminds me of how my sibs and I worked the machinery of childhood. :) Love that you went back to My Friend Flicka. I returned to one of my childhood books not too long ago, too: Barrie's PETER PAN IN KENSINGTON GARDENS.
DeleteWelcome to the JRW community Rhodi!
ReplyDeleteI haven't re-read something from the past and had a different experience. At least I don't think so.
But I had that kind of experience with something I watched as a kid. Growing up I loved the Superfriends cartoon. Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman and every one else. It was the highlight of many a Saturday morning.
Then I watched it in my adulthood and thought, how did I not notice how ridiculous the writing was? One episode, they go to the center of the Earth. No one is hot, the ones who can fly are all WALKING. Worse yet, for the center of the Earth, someone had made sure there were plenty of well maintained paths in which our heroes could just walk around until they got their destination.
As a kid, I never would've thought of that. As an adult, my childhood was ruined.
That’s so sweet—maybe it made the stories even better because you loved them!
DeleteThanks for the welcome, Jay, and: Superfriends! That really brings back memories. I'm glad plausibility escaped us in youth. We just released ourselves to the fun.
DeleteCongratulations, Rhodi, on your new book and on facing your fears. I have to confess that one book frightened me in broad daylight (Shirley Jackson's The Haunting of Hill House). I will never re-read it and did not watch the movie version. Looking back, I think it was so scary because there was no explanation for the evil--no demon that could be exorcised, no ghosts that could be made to go away.
ReplyDeleteOh, that;s a great point! If we don't understand what happened, it could happen AGAIN!
DeleteThank you, Flora. Shirley Jackson is scary! One that I adore of hers, not so much terrifying as it is atmospheric, is WE HAVE ALWAYS LIVED IN THE CASTLE. I think of Merricat, with her misfit awkwardness and her neatening habit--and her heart--all the time.
DeleteEdgar Allan Poe's books were scary (VERY!) but the writing was so good that I was able to read it without closing the books before finishing, which is what I typically will do if a book is to scary or makes me too uncomfortable.
ReplyDeleteTHAT is why I stopped reading Patricia Cornwell. I love the Scarpetta books up to a point, partly because I love reading medical stuff in fiction, and that point was when a very bad person was outside her window at night. I closed the book and never read another word by Cornwell!
DeleteSame here Edith!
DeleteYes, because why put that picture into your brain?
DeleteYes, when I read or watch tv where someone is scratching at the window and the person is home alone I freak out too. Then the power of suggestion means I'll jump every time I hear a noise at the window.
DeleteI think Poe really had a superpower when it came to drawing you in. There's a reason his work has endured. FWIW, I once caught someone tapping at my window late at night. Thank heaven-- it turned out to be a raccoon at the bird feeder! I was so relieved.
DeleteFrom Celia: I do agree Edith, my daughter and I were huge Patricia Cornwall fans, in fact I think we own at least the first half of her Scarpetta. But, but too much, too violent particularly against women. I have a very low tolerance for fright whether written or on the screen. I know I'm a chicken.
DeleteCongratulations, Rhodi, on your new novel and welcome to the JRW community.
ReplyDeleteMay I ask if Rhodi is a Welsh name?
Though I forgot the author’s names and titles, I had the strange experience of rereading books recently, which I loved 25 years ago. I loved these books back then. When I read them again recently, they were DNF books this time.
Oh, so interesting, Diana! Do you remember why?
DeleteI think I’ve become more picky about the writing or language? Perhaps the stories or characters are not as interesting as they once were? I notice that I love books with new words that challenge me. I still love Maisie Dobbs and I always discover new words like meandering. I read the first book 22 years ago. There are many books that I still love.
DeleteDiana, it is so interesting when once-loved books don't fit anymore. I wonder if it has to do with how something resonated culturally (or personally) back then is no longer as relevant now. To answer your question, I think technically, the name is Greek, meaning "rose" or "woman from Rhodes," depending where you look. But my family is a blend of Scottish, Irish, French, and Mexican. I was named for my great grandmother Rhoda, whom everyone called "Rhodi." I received her nickname as my given name.
DeleteI think it can also matter when you encounter certain tropes. The first time, it is fresh and new and you think, “Wow, that was so cool!” And when you re-visit it many years later, maybe you’ve seen it done better, or just too much and you are tired of it, and the book falls flat.
DeleteI remember that episode of Night Gallery! I was a teenager at that point, so didn’t have screaming terror, but it certainly scared me. Giant Rat! Ewww! Watching Night Gallery was an every Saturday night event for me at that age. If I remember right, there were a few other shows with scary-ish story lines before and after it, so Saturdays were scary nights for me - I was a teenager then but not a dating age teenager - which led to a whole new level of scariness!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on your new book, Rhodi!
Yes, and Twilight ZOne, and Outer LImits, and Alfred HItchcock!
DeleteSylvia! It tickles me to no end that you remember that episode. I was devoted to the show too, every Saturday night, although I was not equal to it in terms of bravery.
DeleteSuch an interesting question, Rhodi.
ReplyDeleteYour experience with TV episode reminds me of a comic book I had as a kid, a Classics Illustrated Junior version of Beauty and the Beast. There was one picture in it that scared the bejasus out of me. Beauty’s father had dared to pick the rose in the Beast’s garden, and suddenly, from nowhere, the Beast appeared and siezed the father by the lapels, in rage and fury. Aaaaahhhh!!!
After my initial terror, I couldn't risk glimpsing That Picture again, so I sealed it shut with Scotch Tape. It gave me a rather a delicious thrill of danger to think that the comic, which I otherwise enjoyed reading, held this forbidden image that I was protected from only by the strips of tape along the edges of the pages.
Years later (at the advanced age of perhaps 12) I grit my teeth and slit open the tape.
Nothing. No reaction at all. I couldn’t understand what had been so powerful about the picture. It was just a drawing of a lion in eighteenth century garb, baring his teeth at the luckless merchant.
I've never forgotten it, though.
You sealed it shut! I love that. SO cute.
DeleteSusan D, I love that you mention illustrations! I had a similar horror. I wish I could recall the name of the book, but it was a collection of fairytales, which, let's face it, are scary to begin with. The illustrations were vivid and frightening. To this day, I can see that one particular wolf with its predatory eye. I am laughing at how you protected yourself from that picture with scotch tape. Hahaha! Adorable.
DeleteCongratulations on the new book, Rhodi, and thanks for being on Jungle Reds.
ReplyDeleteI'm not a big fan of books or movies that scare me, so I don't have comparable story on that. But I will say that when I was in high school I read GONE WITH THE WIND and perceived it as the most romantic, compelling thing. Scarlett was so strong, I thought. Years later I re-read it in adult life and while I can still admire the writing, I came away with the realization that Scarlett is really pretty darned narcissistic, and her "strength" often includes doing what she wants with no regard for the consequences for anyone else. Sigh.
Oh, yes, when I was on tour I happened on a showing of it on TV and watched for a bit. Yes, she was pretty awful. (and the movie now comes with a trigger warning!)
DeleteScarlett O'Hara was also in love with someone (Ashley Wilkes) she idolized who didn't love her but she never stopped hoping he'd love her back to the point where it ruined her chance at real happiness with Rhett Butler who loved her unconditionally. When she finally realized her mistake it was too late - or as Rhett famously proclaimed - frankly my dear, I don't give a damn.
DeleteYou make a great point about Scarlett, Susan. One interesting thing that Mitchell did was to give Scarlett a character arc that reached the crest--but didn't quite go over. She left us to decide for ourselves whether Scarlett ever found redemption.
DeleteHank, would you please check to see if my comment from earlier ended up in Blogger's spam folder? Thanks! It is possible that I wrote my missive and didn't post it but...Blogger!
ReplyDeletewill do--stand by!
DeleteNope, I am so sorry, it is not there! xx
DeleteSorry, Judy! Would have loved to have seen the "missive." I appreciate that you joined.
DeleteI was about 15 when I was sitting on the front porch glider reading "Hell House" or "Hill House." All I remember about it is a woman in bed who had been comforted by someone else she thought was in bed with her. Then she saw this person across the room who was not in her bed and said, "Oh my God, whose hand was I holding?!!"
ReplyDeleteOh, so scary!! xx
DeleteNorma, that is TERRIFYING. I had to take a sip of water just now, haha.
DeleteTo this day, many decades after the film Psycho was released, I haven't been able to convince myself to see the part that comes after Janet Leigh's first scream. I bolted from my seat to the lobby, leaving my date and the popcorn. I have also avoided shower curtains in my home! I admire your willingness to revisit old terrors with new maturity. Oh, and my cat's named Pumpkin too!
ReplyDeleteHa, that is so great!
DeletePsycho is absolutely terrifying! I have re-watched over the years, but I admit I cover eyes and ears at the shower scene. I love that you had to abandon your date, haha! As intense as that movie is on a television screen, I can't imagine the overwhelm of a movie theater, especially not knowing what's coming.
DeleteAlfred Hitchcock was a master at suspenseful thrillers. I remember being scared to shower alone after Psycho. And I used to get freaked out by The Twilight Zone - especially the one where a cockroach enters someones brain via his ear and they are able to remove it (?) somehow but the cockroach was a female who had laid eggs in his brain. Eeery!
ReplyDeleteAHHHHH DON'T TALK ABOUT THAT ONE! :-0
DeleteHank! I know!! Ick. Then of course, there is the real life story of R.F. Kennedy, Jr. who actually had a dead parasitic worm in his brain which explains a lot IMHO.
DeleteYou just made me laugh out loud. Sadly.
DeleteTHIS why I wasn't allowed to watch Twilight Zone as a child with a hyperactive imagination. And to this day, I will not watch that episode.
DeleteI stopped watching Twilight Zone after that Edith.
DeleteThe facial expressions he made in that episode! I see recall that one in echoes--the actual black and white, but also my mother imitating the contortions later in the kitchen. A pendulum swing of horror and hilarity in my memory.
DeleteI don’t remember which episode it was, but I also got terrified of The Twilight Zone and didn’t watch it when I was younger. I enjoy it now, even though it is so much more terrifying as I understand the fascism another cruelties that it illuminated.
DeleteRhodi, I wish I could re-read certain books, but I'm too busy trying to catch up with books from the last several years when I had a focus problem with reading. However, that may change as I share some books with someone else. I loved Doomsday Book by Connie Willis, but it's been years since I read it. I would hope I'd still love it as much, but someone or someones here on the blog said they did a re-read of it and it didn't measure up to their first reading experience with it. Who said that? Can you reply here and tell me? It seems like it was one of the Jungle Reds. Last year I did re-read The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams, and I actually got more out of it the second time, paid more attention to details. I have read To Kill a Mockingbird multiple times in teaching it and reading it with my children, and the last re-read (with my son) was a great experience. In fact, it was such as special experience, now that my son is deceased, that I won't ever re-read that one again. I want to preserve that last experience. Since I read all the Agatha Christie mysteries in my 20s and 30s, and I'm now 72, I wish I had more time to re-read them again. However, I have occasionally fit in one and found I still enjoyed it. Oh, and I've re-read two of my favorite young adult books and loved them all over again, Whirligig by Paul Fleischman and Elsewhere by Gabrielle Zevin.
ReplyDeleteAs far as being scared by a book or TV show or movie, there are a couple of Stephen King novels which I worked hard to forget. One was Rose Madder. But, then again, one of my favorite books is a scary one by Stephen King, The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon. I always liked watching Twilight Zone with Rod Sterling, but the one that was creepiest to me was where the little boy wished people out into the corn. I had forgotten about Night Gallery, and I know I watched it at least some, but I don't recall the giant rat one. I was a fan of scary shows and movies, but I was also a chicken and hid my eyes more than once during them. I went through a stage of liking vampire movies when I was a kid, and my older sister got me good one time after I'd watched one. She was already in bed and turned away from me when I climbed into bed. As I did so, she turned around and had dried her upper teeth so her lip was above them, and she hissed at me. Yes, I jumped up. It was okay though because I got her back another time.
Congratulations on your new book, This Town Won't Tell. It sounds deliciously creepy, and I love the cover.
Kathy, you make several excellent points. The one that took my heart was your re-read of TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD with your son. What a tremendous experience. The only thing better than re-reading a beloved novel would be to buddy read it with someone you love.
DeleteLike you, I went through a period of difficulty in reading due to onset of the same disease that put me in a wheelchair. Apparently, acquired literacy impairment is common with changes in health or medication. During that time when I was struggling to read, both my husband and my friend would often read to me. It meant *so* much.
You two are both incredibly inspirational. xxx
DeleteOh, To Kill a Mockingbird. Read it in 9th grade and stupidly thought, oh how terrible, I am glad the world has learned and is so much better. Have read multiple times and loved it. Saw a stage production a few years ago and cried throughout because I have a better understanding of how much still hasn’t changed un our society.
DeleteRhodi, your story resonated. When I was a little girl, and I cannot even think what my parents were thinking--I saw a movie called THE THING and it as about giant ants and it terrifies me still. I think I have to go back and watch. I think I was four years old. All I know is that it has haunted me. Congrats on your book.... hope you terrify lots of people!
ReplyDeleteI remember those ants! Was it called THEM? I got swarmed by a pile of fire ants when I was a toddler, and from that moment on, I've always loathed and dreaded the creatures. When I saw that ant monster movie, it was like watching my worst nightmare!
DeleteI remember being terrified by THE DUEL with Dennis Weaver. I was maybe 5? So the whole concept of driving was strange, adding on killer semi trucks made it terrifying. I have not tried a rewatch.
ReplyDeleteI remember watching The X-Files when it first came out. I liked it but then the episode ICE in the first season made me love it. My husband recognized that episode as The THING, which I had never seen, so the concept was new and chilling to me.
Lisa, YES! I remember that one. I was young, too, when DUEL came out, so I've had an entire life of flashbacks to Weaver's terrified eyes in the rearview mirror as the truck bore down. Never saw the truck driver's face. I think that was based on a Richard Matheson story, and I'm pretty sure it launched Steven Spielberg's career. Great recollection!
Delete