DEBORAH CROMBIE: It's a big day here in-- what did we decide to call it our little English village? Redfields? Anyway, we are all here celebrating Hanks newest thriller! Library Journal called Mother Daughter Sister Stranger “terrific.” And it’s a “Most Anticipated” from Zibby Owens, BookBub, Goodreads, Scary Mommy, Beyond the Bookends, AARP, and more!
Congratulations, dear Hank, on your 18th novel! (And, hint hint, you all can order it here!
What’s it about and where did it come from? And questions for you, Reds and Readers, and a giveaway, below!
DEBS: Hank, where did MOTHER DAUGHTER SISTER STRANGER come from?
Hank: Oh, it's a total magpie story. A little bit of this and a little bit of that and then, at some point, the story fragments reach critical mass and become something else. An entirely new story. Know what I mean? It’s amazing and so exciting when it happens.
One fragment: I was thinking about how often, when I was a teenager mostly, I'd lied to my mother. Not big deal lies, just homework and where I was at a pick a particular time. I'm sure she didn't believe a word of it, but she let it all go. But recently I started wondering, had she ever lied to me? How would I ever know? What if I found out? I kept thinking about that, that fragile relationship, and how we assume that what we've been told about our family history is true.
I must have been being a little nostalgic, too, because I also thought about how when I was growing up, and my mother would read out loud to me. I was always so frustrated when she said: “The End.” Because that couldn't be the end, could it? What happened after that and after that and after that?
I have always been fascinated by what happened to the Narnia kids, what happened to Nancy Drew, and later, what happened to Nick Carraway and the Bennett sisters. How did their lives turn out after their books ended? Were the endings actually happy?
I was also looking back at a prior manuscript of mine, and reading bill notes that my editor had put in the margins. And I realized how that shaped the story, how that shepherded what stayed in and what got cut and how people's motivations and desires changed. How the notes in the margins of a manuscript, the discussion between author and editor, can reveal the real story behind the story. More I cannot say.
So, Mother Daughter Sister Stranger: A missing mom. A frightened daughter. And a sister determined to find a happy ending for their family. Even though, as she discovers, her family's history turns out to be terrifyingly sinister, and all of their lives may go up in flames once again.
DEBS: You are famously a pantser. Were there big changes from the first draft to the final?
HANK: Well, that is a perfect question for this book! When Mother Daughter Sister Stranger was in first draft, the main character, Eliza Ramsey, had a blog where she wrote happy endings for characters in her favorite books. As she says in the original manuscript: she took Psych 101, and is well aware she’s really looking for a happy ending for herself after the devastating tragedy of her childhood, but that is something she cannot control. So she writes happy endings for others.
But! All that got cut! ALL OF IT! Because my darling editor and I decided it was just a little too much information. Eliza is still looking for happy endings, but in a completely different way. You’ll have to read it to find out.
DEBS: Did any character unexpectedly take the story in a direction you hadn’t expected?
HANK: As you said, I never plan. So the entire book took the story in directions I hadn't expected! But yes, there were two characters, certainly, who as they grew on the page, behaved in ways that were very surprising to me. I kept trying to nudge them back into the personality I thought I was writing. But finally I realized they were right, and that's who they were in the final version.
Yes, I know I am not being specific about this. I am doing that on purpose. I want you to experience the story the way I did--a total surprise!
DEBS: Your books starts in Boston, but then heads way out to western Massachusetts. Why?
HANK: Oh gosh, I adore the Berkshires, in western Massachusetts, my husband and I go every summer to take peaceful walks in the woods, and go to art museums, and try wonderful new restaurants, see every play we can, pay homage to Edith Wharton at The Mount, and enjoy the glorious music of the Boston Symphony at Tanglewood. The rolling hills and gorgeous scenery are absolutely immersive, there's a peace and a calm in the Berkshires that is like nowhere else.
However. It's also a place where many people go just for the summer, And the dynamic between the summer people and the people who live there year-round can be full of simmering conflict. As one character in the book admires the graceful geese flying overhead, another character sneers, and says: if you had to clean up golf courses after the geese depart, you would not be so in love with them.
Two different worlds. Beautiful on the outside, but sometimes festering on the inside. And that's what shapes the story.
DEBS: Where are you in your family's birth order? Do you have sisters? Tell us one thing you learned from your mother or your sisters--something that we hear in the book.
HANK: I grew up with three sisters and a brother, and I am the oldest. And know best. As I remind them at every turn.
But when I was in college, I made a game called Familial Pursuits. It was all questions about our family's history. Like: “Who dented mom's new car? And how did it happen?” And “Who was home when the barn burned down?”. Let me tell you, we all had different answers to those questions. And we were all absolutely convinced our answers were right.
How did we all remember the same thing so differently? And what did we all assume about each other? In MOTHER DAUGHTER SISTER STRANGER, family memories, family legacies--and some terrifying murders-- are the center of the story.
As it says on the cover: Every family has its legacy, and this one's deadly.
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DEBS: I love the title, too. Because everyone of us is at least one of those nouns, right? And some of us are all of them. I'm a mother, and a daughter, and a stranger to many people.
HANK: Yeah, so true! I'm a daughter and a sister and a stranger. And the way we play those roles is what dictates our lives. What would you do if your mother went missing? What if she had lied to you from the start?
DEBS: Whoa. Love this. Congratulations, Hank!
HANK: Thank you! SO exciting! I’ll be on book tour for about two weeks—hope to see some of you out there! (And I just saw Amanda in one of my online classes! SO fabulous!). Here’s my schedule.
DEBS: Reds and Readers, What's your birth order? And do you think it has made a difference in who you are and how you face the world?
And Hank is giving a copy of Mother Daughter Sister Stranger to one lucky (US only) commenter!
Congratulations, Hank!
ReplyDeleteIn our family, Jean and I are the oldest; then comes our sister, then our brother.
I'm certain that birth order makes a difference but I think being twins makes more of a difference in who we are and how we face the world . . . .
Sounds like a book I'll enjoy reading - congratulations, Hank! I'm the oldest of four on one side of the ocean and three on the other side. Responsible and smart (I guess).
ReplyDeleteCongratulations Hank!
ReplyDeleteI am all of the things in the book title and I am the third child of 4 in my family. My younger sister and I are very close in age; growing up we were always “the girls” even though our eldest sibling is also a girl. Like Joan being a twin that shaped who we are as well as our order in the family.
First, congratulations on the new book. What a luscious theme. To your question: oldest - definitely- one sister- different family dynamics because of events we experienced at different ages and the differences in our talents and perspective on everything ( note the repetitive use of the word different except for politics).
ReplyDeleteHank - First mega congrats on this latest book! Second, that online class was AMAZING; I learned so much. Third, I am the middle child - an older sister and a younger brother surround me. Need I say more? Beleaguered, maligned, teased. Somehow I survived, and we are fine with each other today (though it takes not much to revert to the old birth order disorders...).
ReplyDeleteCongratulations, Hank! Family relationships can be fraught.
ReplyDeleteMy brother was 13 months older than me. I am sure that was a very impactful dynamic. But my father's family of six siblings was extremely close and the first six cousins, a boy and a girl in each family, called ourselves "the big six." All together fifteen cousins with special friendships across age groups. Many cousins are as close as siblings.
that's so cool about all your cousins Judy! I bet the other kids would kill to be included in the big six:)
DeleteLove this, Judy. I was closer to my cousin who was my age than I ever was to my older brother.
DeleteIt's interesting that I became closest to my oldest cousin, just 1-1/2 years older, who I am still close to now, and to some of the youngest ones, including one 10 years younger and another one 20 years younger! Sometimes it isn't age or even interests, but just something you feel that neither one can explain!
DeleteCongratulations, Hank, on your new book! I am the fourth of five children in a 12-year span. My younger sister and I are 19 months apart and were raised almost as twins, "the Little Girls," dressed alike for convenience, etc. This became tough as it grew clear that we have completely opposite personalities and interests. She was blonde, athletic, and very pretty, I was plain with brown hair and glasses and was always reading. Athlete and cheerleader v. Latin Honor Society. There was a lot of painful friction. I'm sure in my first 18 years it was my relationship with this sister that impacted my life more than any other apart from mine with my parents. (Selden)
ReplyDeleteI hope you're writing that memoir Selden!
DeleteI was second of four but I act act bossy as if I had been #1! My older sister and I were 11 months apart, we were called "the girls" and were very very close. she says we raised each other, and I think that's probably true.
ReplyDeleteIt's wonderful to have an instant friend like that, Lucy!
DeleteCongratulations Hank on your upcoming release.
ReplyDeleteI'm my father's oldest and my mom's second child and I do believe birth order makes you the person you are.
Congratulations Hank! The book sounds fabulous!
ReplyDeleteBirth order is a bit tricky when it comes to twins. I was technically the middle child, born one minute after my beloved womb-mate. We have a sister who's 4 1/2 years younger. My twin is definitely more bossy and "in charge" than I am. I was the one who would make jokes to break the tension. However, together, we were a formidable combo of older-sibling oppressors towards our dear Kit. We called her the "Holy Terror" or the "brat." She also hated the double dose of hand-me-down dresses.
Congratulations Hank. I am Mother Daughter, Sister, Stranger – and outlier. I am the oldest, and would be described completely differently depending on who you asked in my family. Lots of people think my sister was the oldest, but she was the bully and the most mouthy – GOD syndrome – she believed she was. I always walked a different road, and proud of it. Also stubborn.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations Hank! I always enjoy hearing about your writing process. I am the oldest of three girls. I was also the sickest and spent portions of time in the hospital and recovering from being in the hospital. I would say birth order and circumstances beyond our control definitely shape who we are and how we envision the world. I found it most revealing when my youngest sister gave my mom's eulogy. She lived a very different life and knew a very different set of parents than I did. I suspect we all had our perspective and perception of events and it was heavily influenced not only by birth order, but also by life experiences as children and that carried over into adulthood. -- Victoria
ReplyDeleteI'm on the library's request list for your new book. Lots of others are, also, so it may be a while until I get my hands on it. It sounds so intriguing. I'm the middle child and when my bothers and I reminisce, it always surprises us with how different the family stories are. JackieLemon
ReplyDeleteI am the eldest of three and truly, I do know best. However, lately, in recounting memories that are all different concerning the same event, I no longer tell them they are wrong. I have pivoted to "my memory is a little different." and then proceed to tell them what really happened. I always caution them that memories are very tricky and cannot be trusted.
ReplyDeleteI have two very different photos that show me as a teenager. In one I am holding a long gun. A gun! In the other I am in a small boat with my brother and old boyfriend. Absolutely no idea of when or where or any memory at all of those events. I would have sworn neither had happened; I would have passed a lie detector test with flying colors. Yet, the photo exists, proof of something I have no memory of. Weird.
I'm looking forward to it. Like "Anonymous" above the library list is long, but anticipation is great. I'm an only child so this is a twist for me.
ReplyDeleteHank, I wanted to thank you for teaching me so much about the importance of editing in Mother Daughter Sister Stranger. Your book pointed out the importance of cutting, which I hadn't really thought much about until the book I read after your wonderful ARC. Oh my! That book, which shall remain nameless, was in desperate need of cutting. However, the more I thought about it, I realized if the necessary cuts were made there wouldn't be much left. I guess that's my point - there really wasn't much story there, when you get right down to it. That particular author never met a noun that couldn't be described with at least two adjectives! Unfortunately all those words didn't help the very thin plot one bit.
ReplyDeleteSo thank you Hank for the lessons!
Congratulations Hank! And nice interview Debs and Hank!! Good questions and very informative answers.
ReplyDeleteHank, who is Amanda? Amanda R. who comments here sometimes?
ReplyDeleteYes! I encourage anyone who has the chance to sign up for a course with Hank to do so. She knows so much and is so generous -- she gave us an extra 20 minutes. It was online, a fundraiser for the Salem Literary Festival (https://salemlitfest.org/). Worth every American cent, which is worth significantly more than my Canadian cents...
DeleteSounds like a great book, Hank. So sad I'll miss you when you come to Mystery Lovers but not only am I now an hour away, I have a commitment that night.
ReplyDeleteI am the oldest of four and boy, it absolutely shaped me. I was responsible for EVERYTHING. It didn't matter what, "Liz will do it." Go get groceries, pick up my sister from dance, take the younger kids trick-or-treating. You name it. To this day, I have to keep reminding myself that no, I am not responsible for fixing everything or ensuring the success of every event.
Congrats! Happy your book is out in the world.
ReplyDeleteOldest of three born in a 3.5 year span: sister, sister, brother. I broke ground for my siblings and enjoyed the privilege of living in the attic bedroom. Mother of three: sister, brother, sister.
Congratulations Hank! The middle sister of an older brother and younger sister. More mature and the sister was always spoiled and pampered. Didn't help her in her life. Poor choices. I was expected to be mature and was.
ReplyDeleteOoo I’ve been waiting for this one! Congratulations on #18, Hank! I know what I’ll be reading on that long flight to Tokyo on Wed. And what an excellent Q&A, Debs. I love learning a little more about the Reds AND the Readers! (If anyone ever needs an overly bossy big sister, ahahaha, pick me!)
ReplyDeleteThanks, Jonelle! And have a safe flight!
DeleteI’m the youngest of two sisters. My sister is four years older and was a primary grade teacher. She treats everyone as if they are young children (i .e., don’t know what they should be doing until she tells them) and that has continued for all of my 70 years! She also bossed my mother around. (My mother had big mother issues so that filtered down, too.) I was definitely shaped by my early years, but then again, who wasn’t? — Pat S
ReplyDeletePat S., there is something to be said about "inborn personalities". I wonder if your sister's personality was similar to a grandmother or aunt?
DeleteDiana, my mother always said my sister was like her mother (our grandmother) so yes, you hit it on the head. - Pat S
DeletePat S, thank you for sharing. Diana
DeleteCongratulations, Hank, and have a wonderful book tour. I am the older (by two years and two months) of two sisters. As we were growing up, I teased my sister unmercifully, but we also played together happily, shared catch phrases and made-up songs that only we knew, and looked out for each other. To this day, she tells me I'm being bossy or controlling, and when she points out what I've just said or done, I have to agree with her and apologize. Luckily, she still seems to like me!
ReplyDeleteOne older brother. He always thought he was right and most of the time when it came to general factual information he was. He was an omnivorous reader, extremely smart and felt he should know something about everything even when he wasn’t interested in a subject.
ReplyDeleteAlthough he was only three years older, he was a great influence in my life. As a child, there were many books that I read because he told me I should.
He was an outstanding student, usually at the head of any class.
We didn’t always agree, sometimes he could be critical because he expected a lot of me and I never felt I couldn’t compete to reach his expectations so didn’t try.
Much later I found out from my mother, that he actually thought more of my knowledge and ability than I did. He just thought that the types of remarks he made would encourage me to work at a higher level.
As an adult, I had a better sense of how to handle conversations with him and we had many covering a variety of subjects because of his wide range of knowledge.
He has been gone for a number of years now and I can look at the positive aspects of our relationship and I still miss him.
Oh gosh, "Bossy and controlling" are US, too. But I'm the third of four so I have no excuse. Except that every single one of us is "bossy and controlling" - I used to call it the Lucy Van Pelt gene (remember Lucy from PEANUTS cartoons?). As an grandmother I try to keep it in check.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations, HANK! MOTHER DAUGHTER SISTER STRANGERS is (another) BIG home run for you. Buckle up for takeoff!!
Hallie, it looks like you were a middle child. And Amy is the baby sister, right?
DeleteCan't wait to read this one! (--Denise Terry). I am the oldest of five, but only three of us survive (three sisters). Yeah, I guess I am a bit of a know-it-all. On Saturday I celebrated my 80th birthday (with my granddaughter Fern, who is ten) -- with my 101 year old mother at the party!! Many layers of females. Many different kinds of lies. BUT STOP! YAY Hank, but everyone has to see Jenn's book in living color on Hallmark!! No stopping Jungle Reds.
ReplyDeleteI was the oldest, with one sister five years younger. There were definitely two different sets of expectations. I was supposed to be the responsible one, help out around the house and with my dad after he got sick and inherited his chores after he passed. My sister was allowed to go out with friends, date, do a lot of stuff I wasn't allowed. They bought her a car and let her drive to school, they weren't near as strict about her grades and future plans, didn't have to help out at home, was given money for college. We really experienced two different sets of parents and I think continue to today. But I don't think it's necessarily all birth order, because my mom was the youngest of her siblings by 11, 13, and 16 years and while I do suspect she was treated more leniently, she was also the one who had to help her parents with errands, appointments, etc, partly due to proximity and some other stuff.
ReplyDeleteMy mother had four older siblings, the oldest a brother then three sisters. She also had two younger sisters.
ReplyDeleteAlthough she was in the middle, she was always the one given the responsibility when her parents wanted something done whether it was watching her younger siblings, going to collect rent from property the family owned or help an elderly aunt with shopping.
Her parents knew they could rely upon her.
It served her well as an adult. She was the person people went to and was well respected for her knowledge and ability wherever she worked.
I'm the second child of five, four now. Big brother, me, six year gap then sister, sister, brother. Somehow the responsibility fairy hit me with her wand and I got stuck looking after the younger bunch. I'm the one who moved back home in college to help out with a medical issue in the family. The one who took over the bill paying, tax returns, etc for my folks and little brother. The one who settled the estates for my littlest sister and my parents. The one who sat with family in hospitals and ferried them to doctor appointments. Fortunately I retired early from being employed so I was able to do all this. I'm sure I still harbor a little resentment about all this, but not against my family. More against the fates and birth order.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on your new book, Hank. May your numerous events be fabulous. Hopefully I remember to log in for the conversation from Poison Pen.
ReplyDeleteI am the oldest of three and there is fourteen months between each child.
The third cousin in the first group of seven.
When my mother remarried, I became the fifth of seven.
And my youngest aunt is ten years older than me.
My aunt is my aunt and treated me like a niece, not a sibling or cousin to play with when we were "kids." My mother's second marriage took place when all of "children" were grown up, living our adult lives.
My siblings and I do not look each other. Blue eyes, brown eyes, green eyes. Blond hair, brown hair, black hair. Even our body-types were dramatically different. As we approached our teen years, people who hadn't been exposed to us as young children, usually thought I was the youngest. My brother and sister have always been more outgoing and more willing to take risks than me.
I love this post, Hank! The birth order thing is so interesting. I was the youngest but also almost an only, because my brother was so much older. I can't remember ever having a fight or disagreement with him, but he went off to college when I was only seven. We did become close as adults and I miss him dearly.
ReplyDeleteI am so intrigued by the idea of children finding out their parents have kept secrets. Can't wait to read MDSS--expecting my copy tomorrow! Congrats on another fabulous book, Hank!!!
Congratulations, Hank, on what is sure to be a major success. The cover and title are already a guarantee that the bookstores are going to be busy replacing it on the shelf or table or display where it will attract both those looking for it and those window shopping for an attractive package. And, of course all of those who order it online because it's being talked about so much will add to crowds of delighted readers. I enjoyed the interview, Debs and Hank. It both gave some interesting information and added to the mystique of the book.
ReplyDeleteI am the youngest sibling in my family, and, sadly, I am the only remaining sibling, with my brother dying the day after Christmas last year. It's rather interesting that we've died in the order we were born. One of my nephews helpfully pointed out that the others had all died by their early seventies. I thanked him for that reminder and told him I especially enjoyed that statement since I am in my early seventies. Geesh, why can't people think before they speak. But, when we were growing up, we all had pretty much distinctive parts to play. My older sister was ten years older than me, and she was, especially when we were young, was a little mother to us. My brother, three years older than me, was the only boy and the chosen one. I was the baby who benefited from my parents having mellowed a bit by the time I was growing up, although I say that with some embarrassing moments in front of my friends in mind. I haven't forgotten my other sister, who was eight years older. I think she had a harder time with where exactly she fit in. She was somewhat in the shadow of my older sister, who was beautiful and social and dated the cool guys. But, Jerrye Jo was also beautiful and just didn't realize it. Arretta Ann, the older, had blonde hair and great proportions, and Jerrye Jo had almost black hair and maybe not as graceful in how she carried herself. She was the one I was closest to though. My brother just had to be a boy and in sports, especially basketball, which my mother had played and loved. He did also turn out to be quite smart, as all my siblings were in different areas. His was science, biology and chemistry. My burden, if you want to call it that, is that I was the last child and the last chance for the academic star, which my mother dearly wanted. So, I made my straight As and was valedictorian and in all the organizations and a cheerleader to boot. Since I loved learning, it wasn't too great of a burden, but there were those high expectations. I got burned out by the end of college and got married instead of going to law school, but it was okay. I was the reader in the siblings, too, which, of course influenced a degree in English in college. And we all got our teaching credentials, probably an influence from my mother, who taught school for around twenty years.
I am first in birth order and of course that means the top dog too. I will be at Hank’s event tonight at An Unlikely Story.
ReplyDeleteI am a mother and a sister, and I was a daughter - which brings another relationship question: what happens when the person who made you a daughter, or a sister, or God forbid, a mother - dies? Are you still in that role?
ReplyDeleteI've thought about family mysteries since my mom passed away; my sister and I discovered, in a box of cards and letters, an engagement announcement for a man she never told us about! And it was dated about six months before she got engaged to my father. Everyone who knew what the story was is gone now, so we only have supposition to go on...
Julia, speaking of family mysteries, I have an interesting story to share. I read a biography by this actor. As a child, he was surprised to see a different name on his birth certificate. That was when he learned about middle names. His first name was Bernard and middle name was Nathan. He asked his parents who Nathan was. He later became a tutor to Anne Bancroft when she learned Sign Language for her role as Annie Sullivan in A Miracle Worker. And she introduced him to a set designer who would go on to establish the National Theater of the Deaf.
DeleteHank, congratulations on your new novel! To answer your question, I am an only child. To my grandparents, I am the youngest of the four grandchildren. My Aunt had three children. Her youngest was only three years older than me. I got to see her twice a year since my cousin lived 2,000 miles away. And we were the only children in a family of mostly older people. My older cousins were teenagers when we were born. The "young" people were the two cousins, our parents, and a few cousins in my parents' age group. Most of the people were born before 1901! And when I was a young child, the other children always seemed years older than me. My parents' friends either had children older than me or no children at all. Even in school, there were older children in my class due to late diagnosis of hearing loss and /or language deprivation. I always felt that I had to work hard to "catch up" or as the British say "bringing up the rear".
ReplyDeleteThe book sounds terrific, Hank. Congratulations
ReplyDeleteI’m an oldest youngest only child! And I don’t recommend it at all. I’m very envious of all of you with siblings. And I can’t imagine what that is like!
One of my great grandsons is also an only, a situation unlikely to change. I feel sad for him. It’s not a great way to grow up and gets worse the older you get.
Ann, I too am an only. Unlike you, I’ve come to feel that there neither only or siblinged is “better”than the other. They are what they are.Having watched friends with siblings stress and be furious with each other over decisions about their parents’ health care and what to do with their parents’ estates (not so much the monetary values but the emotional values of things), I am relieved that the work was mine alone. Take good care of yourself and those you love and who love you back. Elisabeth
DeleteCongratulations Hank! I loved the book. (Thanks for the ARC). I've made a note to review it on amazon tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations! I am the eldest and along with my twin sister and tend to feel responsible for our 9-year younger brother.
ReplyDeleteI am the oldest of six, two sisters and 3 brothers. The first 4 were born very close together so when my parents left me "in charge" there was a lot of resentment and lack of cooperation from the others where were on a year, and a little more younger. I was a couple of years ahead of the next in school and a very good student. That made it harder for them because teachers always compared us. I have always been drive and wanted more experiences. I am likely to try new things, get involved, and travel where ever I can. I have always been a reader with suspense and mystery being my first love in fiction. Congratulations on the release of your new book. I was going to try to attend one of your tour stops, but when you are south, I will be up in New England. When you are back there, I will be back in TN. I will have to check out the online events.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry I forgot to sign in with my google account above. I am the oldest of six, two sisters and 3 brothers. The first 4 were born very close together so when my parents left me "in charge" there was a lot of resentment and lack of cooperation from the others where were on a year, and a little more younger. I was a couple of years ahead of the next in school and a very good student. That made it harder for them because teachers always compared us. I have always been drive and wanted more experiences. I am likely to try new things, get involved, and travel where ever I can. I have always been a reader with suspense and mystery being my first love in fiction. Congratulations on the release of your new book. I was going to try to attend one of your tour stops, but when you are south, I will be up in New England. When you are back there, I will be back in TN. I will have to check out the online events.
DeleteI am an eldest daughter, and have been welcomed into several other family situations in which I am also (still/always) an eldest daughter. It seems that is the position in which I am most comfortable. I do greet the world as the eldest who will help and sort and organize, thank you very much. But I also found incredible comfort in the friendship/sisterhood with the friend who was five years older than I and became a surrogate sister. Suddenly I could settle into the role of the learner, the leaner, the follower. Wow--what a difference. She was a force and it was a relief to let her take the lead. Very interesting to experience the world from the passenger seat.
ReplyDeleteGosh, I completely forgot to stop by the blog yesterday! That's a first, I think.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on the new book, Hank! I look forward to reading it.
I'm the third girl with one brother after me, thus a daughter and a sister, plus a mother. I fit right into the role of being #3 but not the youngest. I had more freedom and also had to assert myself to get any power or recognition in the family.
Oh my , so many different versions of ourselves and how others perceive us! I look forward to reading it! As the eldest and always right, I found myself in the same situation when I became Mom. I had to adjust…now I have just made a huge downsizing move and am trying to be a better person to my new community. Hope it works!
ReplyDelete