tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post1357561097409776982..comments2024-03-29T06:11:11.605-04:00Comments on Jungle Red Writers: It's "What We're Writing" Week! Hank Tuesday Jungle Red Writershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16646429819267618412noreply@blogger.comBlogger39125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-69029553767121346872013-11-21T09:54:24.430-05:002013-11-21T09:54:24.430-05:00Wow, you sure know how to hook me! Read it to my p...Wow, you sure know how to hook me! Read it to my partner who now also is eager to get started on your earlier books. <br /><br />Great opening. Tells so much with few words - that's talent! (and a bit of work, I'm sure)Clamo88https://www.blogger.com/profile/16742188896080634218noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-27732861283982886032013-11-20T00:12:34.858-05:002013-11-20T00:12:34.858-05:00Hank,
Great excerpt, and I love the title!! Of cou...Hank,<br />Great excerpt, and I love the title!! Of course your editor will love it:)Marilyn Levinsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10424778692932139865noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-6345704837877877062013-11-19T22:39:47.923-05:002013-11-19T22:39:47.923-05:00Well, thank you! This is all very reassuring..I wi...Well, thank you! This is all very reassuring..I will keep you posted! Watch for TRUTH BE TOLD next September! And ah...I am very grateful for your reactions..ooxoxHank Phillippi Ryanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17420701704169428286noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-44452137622275648422013-11-19T22:28:03.381-05:002013-11-19T22:28:03.381-05:00Heck. I want to read this NOW!! ;)
Pen MHeck. I want to read this NOW!! ;)<br /><br />Pen MAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-91154041928967916442013-11-19T19:04:47.224-05:002013-11-19T19:04:47.224-05:00Perfect example of one of the things I was talking...Perfect example of one of the things I was talking about while on tour, Hank: how crime fiction is dealing with social/economic issues that most other fiction slides past. Mortgage failures, evictions, unemployment...PLUS you just KNOW they've found a body back there. <br /><br />Can't wait to read it!Juliahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09553268569509053159noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-88440295995760593372013-11-19T17:10:56.039-05:002013-11-19T17:10:56.039-05:00I like the tall grass in the overgrown lawn . . . ...I like the tall grass in the overgrown lawn . . . good scene-setting. <br />Even more, I want to know what they found and what's going to happen with this family, and who the creepy guy is and . . . <br />when I can read this book . . . oh when? <br />Yes, you have definitely hooked me. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-27105939335702409712013-11-19T15:39:59.385-05:002013-11-19T15:39:59.385-05:00Yeah, some therapy. A big lesson in second guessin...Yeah, some therapy. A big lesson in second guessing. Or maybe--in friendship.<br /><br />Thanks, Becky! xo<br /><br />And Sandy--it should be out--if all goes as planned and SOMETIMES it does--next September. xo<br /><br />Hank Phillippi Ryanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17420701704169428286noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-84145138632806379012013-11-19T15:39:10.084-05:002013-11-19T15:39:10.084-05:00This comment has been removed by the author.Hank Phillippi Ryanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17420701704169428286noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-65429617088352538972013-11-19T15:29:43.462-05:002013-11-19T15:29:43.462-05:00Hi Hank
Fantastic opening! ps my vote is to leave...Hi Hank<br /><br />Fantastic opening! ps my vote is to leave off the "tall." overgrown says it better. <br />can't wait to read the book! when do you think it'll be due out? <br />sandy gardnerAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18086904397348369087noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-60943332405550865132013-11-19T14:41:07.314-05:002013-11-19T14:41:07.314-05:00Nice detail—overgrown. Like that. Lots!
I can...Nice detail—overgrown. Like that. Lots! <br /><br />I can't believe you JRWs are doing this, this week. What are the chances a therapist might have been behind it? <br /><br />Hats off!<br /><br />xoxoxoMaureen Harringtonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03499876353651763590noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-25047567652326036362013-11-19T14:39:34.207-05:002013-11-19T14:39:34.207-05:00I cannot wait, and especially loved this: “Excuse...I cannot wait, and especially loved this: <i> “Excuse me?” She eyed the guy’s three-piece pinstripe suit, ridiculous on a day like today. He must be melting. Still, being hot didn’t give him the right to be wrong. “We’re on the sidewalk. We can shoot whatever we can see and hear.” </i><br /><br />Just from what you shared, I am already intrigued and eagerly look forward to reading the entire book. Recently did the same, sharing 3 paragraphs of something I'm writing in a FB post and was blown away by the positive feedback.Becky M.https://www.blogger.com/profile/12019253695981057768noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-76355999710228165132013-11-19T14:35:26.958-05:002013-11-19T14:35:26.958-05:00This comment has been removed by the author.Becky M.https://www.blogger.com/profile/12019253695981057768noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-7462056459740853912013-11-19T14:32:25.128-05:002013-11-19T14:32:25.128-05:00A MISTAKE IN THE FIRST LINE! Got to love it. Thank...A MISTAKE IN THE FIRST LINE! Got to love it. Thanks, team. xo<br />Hank Phillippi Ryanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17420701704169428286noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-82559662968837288752013-11-19T14:31:05.547-05:002013-11-19T14:31:05.547-05:00Yeah, LynnDee, "neglected" has a judgeme...Yeah, LynnDee, "neglected" has a judgement attached. Overgrown, yes, and let us wonder about why.<br /><br />xoHank Phillippi Ryanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17420701704169428286noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-82059938471545891062013-11-19T14:29:03.498-05:002013-11-19T14:29:03.498-05:00For what it's worth, I think it's almost b...For what it's worth, I think it's almost better if it's not "neglected," if we're supposed to sympathize with the homeowners. We've seen this story, some of us have even had it happen to people we know. If I picture the house and yard as well cared for, but a little overgrown in an early spring heat wave, I feel worse for the family. <br /><br />And I love the title! :)LynDeehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14399945394854595567noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-7368199240268459412013-11-19T14:24:29.509-05:002013-11-19T14:24:29.509-05:00No, no, I'm putting in marijuana! Can't hu...No, no, I'm putting in marijuana! Can't hurt..<br /><br />xoxoo :-) <br /><br />And I had decided--why didn't I think of that!--to change to "neglected." But then decided back. Maybe it isn't "neglected."<br />Overthinking now. :-) <br /><br />Hank Phillippi Ryanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17420701704169428286noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-68758127644414198432013-11-19T14:22:02.129-05:002013-11-19T14:22:02.129-05:00Oh… Lucy and Hank… I was being a little tongue in ...Oh… Lucy and Hank… I was being a little tongue in cheek. Marijuana? I love the scene. XOMaureen Harringtonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03499876353651763590noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-89800534981996261222013-11-19T14:03:55.729-05:002013-11-19T14:03:55.729-05:00Another great opening line. How do you do it?
I&#...Another great opening line. How do you do it?<br /><br />I'm with Edith; I think the adjective "overgrown" makes the adjective "tall" unnecessary. And yes, watch the apostrophe on "Sandoval's" in the first graph.<br /><br />OMG, did I just offer criticism to Hank Phillippi Ryan? =)Liz Millironhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04919409969263609919noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-87315923364042862882013-11-19T13:35:51.965-05:002013-11-19T13:35:51.965-05:00Oh, DebRo, I'll never tell!
ANd yes, it is su...Oh, DebRo, I'll never tell!<br /><br />ANd yes, it is super scary.Hank Phillippi Ryanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17420701704169428286noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-50695116925309705842013-11-19T13:35:12.424-05:002013-11-19T13:35:12.424-05:00Oh, Ramona. xoxo Yeah, we went through a lot of t...Oh, Ramona. xoxo Yeah, we went through a lot of them, as you well know. Sometimes it's easy, and sometimes it's--astonishingly difficult.<br /><br />What do the rest of you think??<br />Hank Phillippi Ryanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17420701704169428286noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-8308700177110235452013-11-19T13:33:22.148-05:002013-11-19T13:33:22.148-05:00I love the title. :-)I love the title. :-)Ramonahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00627775403015684868noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-23808866381317945812013-11-19T13:16:57.530-05:002013-11-19T13:16:57.530-05:00Was it a body, Hank? Was it a body that the office...Was it a body, Hank? Was it a body that the officer found? I can't wait to read the finished product!<br /><br />You are all so brave this week to share your works in progress. It must feel like auditioning, except that you don't know how many people are "out there" in the audience! To me, that would be super scary!<br /><br />Deb Romanonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-87290176716879025362013-11-19T12:40:13.578-05:002013-11-19T12:40:13.578-05:00Oh yeah, I'm there, and itching to know what t...<br />Oh yeah, I'm there, and itching to know what the cop found inside the house!<br /><br />Thanks for sharing, Hank. And I have to say to all the JRWs sharing this week -- I think it's brave of you. I appreciate seeing behind the scenes. It's inspirational.<br /><br />I'm with Lucy: Since you've got "overgrown" you don't need "tall." You could even call the grass "crabgrass" because isn't that the kind of grass that grows on untended lawns? (I pictured crabgrass while I was reading.)Lisa Alberhttp://www.lisaalber.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-1907849518271249842013-11-19T12:26:12.340-05:002013-11-19T12:26:12.340-05:00Again, I think all of you are so brave to let the ...Again, I think all of you are so brave to let the world see WIPs. That said, Hank, this one had me from the beginning. It's going to be another winner.Terry Shameshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07202071611825887999noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-35173332602237553752013-11-19T11:53:59.721-05:002013-11-19T11:53:59.721-05:00What a fantastic premise, and a great hook! I can&...What a fantastic premise, and a great hook! I can't wait to see where this goes. <br /><br />As for "tall:" Honestly, I think the sentence works either way. "Tall" gives me the immediate picture a couple of words before "overgrown" fills it in more with weeds and such. But if you're on a "kill every unnecessary word" hunt, it works without it, too.<br /><br />And for me, it never fails: I can see a passage much more critically as soon as I share it with other people. Every time. <br /><br />Great, great work! Thanks for sharing!LynDeehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14399945394854595567noreply@blogger.com