tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post3319559957170488746..comments2024-03-28T07:27:17.868-04:00Comments on Jungle Red Writers: Tips for thriving in a room full of strangersJungle Red Writershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16646429819267618412noreply@blogger.comBlogger33125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-41843757734257801042015-10-23T11:07:53.884-04:002015-10-23T11:07:53.884-04:00Mary - thanks for volunteering at the Info Desk! ...Mary - thanks for volunteering at the Info Desk! It was great to meet you and perform our synchronized pointing trick. Later Naomi and I did the trifecta with synchronized pointing and harmony on the response. It was then I knew I'd been at the Info desk for too long!<br /><br />Since this was my first B'con and I knew nobody, and I'm local, I decided to volunteer. It was a lot of fun and I met a ton of people. It was kind of surprising how nice everyone was, both authors and fans. I think that was the nicest thing to see was how you could be talking to someone, and only later look at their name tag and go "OH! I've been talking to...!" and they were just like everyone else - very friendly. But volunteering is definitely the way to meet a lot of people quickly.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10965967045808449423noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-33738482884995300872015-10-21T22:18:19.742-04:002015-10-21T22:18:19.742-04:00Loved reading these comments--Lucy, I'm with y...Loved reading these comments--Lucy, I'm with you (and you were kind enough to talk to me at my first Bcon, when i was just starting to write a mystery and standingg in the back of the Anthony Awards reception clutching a soggy napkin and empty glass!). Love real one-on-one or small group conversations but the thought of plunging into a crowded bar without knowing anybody sends me fleeing back to my room (which, alas, was a mile away, also not a good strategy). Am going to take every bit of this advice to heart for next year!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05854728996742594734noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-65060881407205567472015-10-21T12:16:02.546-04:002015-10-21T12:16:02.546-04:00Hallie, it took every bit of courage I could muste...Hallie, it took every bit of courage I could muster to introduce myself to YOU at Malice last year. So very heartening to know you are human!Rosiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18227816471665255882noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-35955348393356764642015-10-20T12:18:13.948-04:002015-10-20T12:18:13.948-04:00I was pretty miserable at my first Bouchercon, too...I was pretty miserable at my first Bouchercon, too, even though I already knew some of the other attendees. Probably what sealed my doom in Albany was still feeling wiped out after attending the whirlwind Writer's Police Academy a week or so earlier. <br /><br />I have some go-to small talk questions. My fave is, Where are you from? Did you have a long flight/drive/walk? Are there any local sites you recommend?<br /><br />From my favorite party location ever, near the food. Have you tried the dip? Is yellow thing good? Who moved our cheese? (Or something about the cheese. Who moved the cheese is Something Else.)<br /><br />If I do love it, and I usually do because so many of us find interesting accessories, I'll "love your necklace/shoes/bag!" Rhonda Lanehttp://rhondalane.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-20973938619279361772015-10-20T00:29:34.720-04:002015-10-20T00:29:34.720-04:00Mar, you should get the best-fan-ever award!!!Mar, you should get the best-fan-ever award!!!Maureen Harringtonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03499876353651763590noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-31897090036792295162015-10-19T22:10:48.307-04:002015-10-19T22:10:48.307-04:00Lovely reading all the comments and suggestions. ...Lovely reading all the comments and suggestions. <br /><br />I think the experience is different for fans than authors. Authors are kept pretty busy with panel discussions, catching up with each other, their publishers, editors, etc. Then there are the dinners, awards etc.<br /><br />For a fan, other than attending panels, some book shopping and signing, there is not a lot to do unless convention is in a very walkable area that has a lot of restaurants, shopping, places of interest close by.<br /><br />Sadly, I missed Bouchercon this year<br /><br />MY first and only Bouchercon was Albany, NY 2013 - I have been online friends with Debs for, well I don't remember how long now, seems like a lifetime. I remember the first email I sent her and how thrilled I was to get one back - we developed a friendship. <br /><br />Finally got to meet Debs when she was doing a talk on her books in Florida - we were at my MIL's in Fla and Debs was only 1-1/2 hours away, I threatened hubby if he didn't take me (I don't drive) To meet Debs....he actually sat through Debs talk and paid attention......I figured I'd be smacking him the entire time for snoring ;) <br /><br />We had the privilege to take Debs to lunch and spend a few hours with her B4 we had to head back.<br /><br />Point to that story - a few days before BC Albany, Debs posted she was getting ready to go and I said that sounds fun. Asked where she was headed and she said Albany, NY.....<br /><br />OMG I was Thrilled !!!<br /><br /> DH and I were headed home the w/e of Bouchercon. We were meeting some friends for dinner Fri & Sat then Sunday to the Adirondacks to spend time with friends for a few days<br /><br />So I got to see Debs again and have a great chat - I also have another great friend in Elly Griffiths......when I signed up (immediately after Debs telling me about it) to attend BC on Saturday, I saw Elly was going to be there from England !<br /><br />Two of my most Fave authors and wonderful friends 1/2 hr from where I was going to be<br /><br />OK - I ramble.<br /><br />MY FIRST BOUCHERCON experience as a fan......petrified, so many people (panic attacks) and there I was all alone in this huge room. I would have loved if someone had come up and talked to me, I've never been good at initiating conversations, especially in a huge crowd - I'm the flower attached to a chair against a wall in large crowds<br /><br />I did some shopping, always need more books. then I headed over to where Elly was signing books waiting for her to finish - she had no idea I was going to be there<br /><br />Sitting at her table was Hank - I purchased her book and had it signed - was nice to meet another Jungle Red Author.<br /><br />No one at Elly's line - I walked over and said Hi - I'm Mar from Tennessee, look on her face was precious, she came around the table and we had a huge hug - never did I think I'd meet her as she lives in England........She had a while yet of signing, so I headed off looking for Debs.... finally found her and we had a nice visit then we walked up to Elly's table so Debs could meet her.<br /><br />Then I got to have a really nice chat with Elly, we found a quiet, windy spot outside and visited until she had to leave and see her publisher.<br /><br />So my first Bouchercon was last minute decision and an awesome experience.<br /><br />I got to say hi to Hank and spend time with Debs and Elly. I wish I'd had more time, but had to leave as we had plans<br /><br />Volunteering sounds like a good idea if I get to attend another, be nice to meet people as they came in to registerRosie123https://www.blogger.com/profile/11528374618939863598noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-87922444379374658072015-10-19T18:14:54.804-04:002015-10-19T18:14:54.804-04:00... but that "I have to mingle" explanat...... but that "I have to mingle" explanation, while perfectly understandable, is the kind of thing that my mind gets while my insides say I failed at polite conversation... and now I am left here all alone looking stupid again. That's why I have to start preparing 4 years in advance. ;-)Maureen Harringtonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03499876353651763590noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-92036247798074139422015-10-19T18:05:54.935-04:002015-10-19T18:05:54.935-04:00I'm determined to go to a Bouchercon, but I ca...I'm determined to go to a Bouchercon, but I can predict that I will be so overwhelmed by the crowd that I'll hide out in my hotel room à la Hank. Coming out will probably depend on finding friends there. Fair warning to friends (and others unmentionable) I'm aiming at Dallas 2019. Just thinking about it makes me sweat. I am very much an introvert.<br /><br />Thanks Hallie. This was great--including all the tips I'm jotting down!Maureen Harringtonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03499876353651763590noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-73480484932251890302015-10-19T17:06:58.827-04:002015-10-19T17:06:58.827-04:00(Finally did it. My commentary was too long for o...(Finally did it. My commentary was too long for one posting. Here's the rest.)<br /><br />Hallie, your tips of volunteering and introducing oneself are spot on. Although I haven't volunteered yet, I plan to next year in NOLA. Since I have a reading blog, I have printed cards and use that method to introduce myself (while verbally saying who I am), hoping it will help new friends to remember me. The drink rule is a good one, too, although I did allow myself two Moscow Mules two nights in a row. Apparently, I tolerate them well. Susan and Debs, you all have some excellent introductory questions, and who at a book convention isn't eager to talk about what they've read or are reading. Hank, I can't believe you hid in your room during your first Bouchercon! You are always ready to roll. I love your description of Bouchercon as a treasure hunt, Hank. Lucy, I have a hard time picturing you as shy, too, but once someone talks to you, I know that they would love you. Rhys, wherever you, Debs, and Hank gather, a crowd is sure to form. <br /><br />Kathy Reelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17004247271452356577noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-6431150807071876052015-10-19T17:05:08.107-04:002015-10-19T17:05:08.107-04:00My first Bouchercon was just two years ago, in Alb...My first Bouchercon was just two years ago, in Albany, and it wasn't really the best one to start with, as the hotel situation was not conducive to mingling for me. I stayed at the hotel where you were bused in and out from the convention. So, I missed the bar scene and the get-togethers that are so important to enjoying Bouchercon. That's not to say that I didn't enjoy it. I was wild with joy at seeing and meeting favorite authors and attending the panels where books were the topic in every shape and form. And, I didn't know how to work the crowd very well.<br /><br />Bouchercon 2015 was perfect in hotel locations, author one-on-ones (well, as you say Rhys, a one-on-one didn't last long), bar meet-ups, and spontaneous meetings that led to new friendships. I was ready and galloped out as soon as the gate opened (have to have some horse imagery being from Kentucky). In the two years since I'd attended Bouchercon, I had gotten to know many people online and joined this wonderful blog to get to know the Reds and participants here better. It's hard to believe, but in some large crowds, I can be a bit hesitant. Not in a book crowd, although I do sometimes fear that I will all of a sudden dry up and have nothing to say. As Kristopher said, being "on" does require effort, as you don't want to slight anyone or sound stupid in front of people you admire. I try not to be too aggressive, but my enthusiasm can't be contained when I spy a favorite author, blogger, reader, or book industry person. I am genuinely delighted to see them. I have been known to do a little scream when I see someone, but I'm just that happy. I practically mauled Kristopher and Michael when I first saw them. Debs, Rhys, Hank, I try not to be too creepy following you all. Hahaha! Susan, major highlight meeting you. Edith and Kaye were as sweet in person as they are online. Mark Pryor, I so wanted to talk with you and missed you. New Orleans for sure! Brenda and Mary S., I'm so sorry I missed you two, too. Again, next year. <br /><br />Kathy Reelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17004247271452356577noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-15283188987083801772015-10-19T12:53:57.483-04:002015-10-19T12:53:57.483-04:00Thanks Hallie, I will miss you too. I have been in...Thanks Hallie, I will miss you too. I have been in several of your sessions, and I have enjoyed each one. Cher'leyCher'leyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15135360082307967914noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-40080241316464185622015-10-19T12:39:51.734-04:002015-10-19T12:39:51.734-04:00I remember my first B'con too -- San Francisco...I remember my first B'con too -- San Francisco. I went alone, roomed alone, and didn't know anyone (although, while there, I ran into writers from the Portland scene, so that was nice). I remember being surprised by the bar scene; it was nuts and it didn't take me long to figure out that the bar was where to meet people. So I squared my shoulders and walked on in ... One of my shortcomings as a social creature is that I suck at small talk. I just canNOT think of things to say -- at the first B'con I started every conversation with a version of this being my first B'con and wow, what fun -- that kind of thing ... but, after that? Uh, what to say now? :-)<br /><br />Of course, it's tons easier now that I know people. It's like going to the best high school reunion, isn't it? :-) Also, the Sisters in Crime folks are always lovely. In San Francisco, I edged my way into a SinC crowd at one point, met Leslie Budewitz in the process, and she was so kind.<br /><br />I've also learned to cop to the fact that I've forgotten names. It's easier than faking it even though sometimes I mortify myself in the process. And I give other people a break by stating my name in case they don't remember me. (I did that with you last year, Debs.)Lisa Alberhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12591430453957883948noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-42156152268354704232015-10-19T12:38:29.135-04:002015-10-19T12:38:29.135-04:00Jeanine, I know! And it's more than just: mise...Jeanine, I know! And it's more than just: misery loves company. <br /><br />Cher'ley we'll miss you at the Bake! This year we have Elizabeth George. I wonder if she's self-conscious in crowds... Hallie Ephronhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04759439029582054503noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-80310257472109186232015-10-19T12:23:01.445-04:002015-10-19T12:23:01.445-04:00I seem very extroverted, and I play that up, but s...I seem very extroverted, and I play that up, but secretly conferences and meeting people scares me to death. I do try to volunteer, and I love to be on panels. Hank has bailed me (and my husband) out at more than one conference. She's such a sweetheart. There are a few others that are so friendly that instantly you feel part of the group. I'm not from New England, but I went to Crime Bake to meet Sue Grafton, and I fell in love with the authors from that area. Most everyone made me feel welcome. I still love going back to the Crime Bake conferences. This year conferences went to the wayside to make room for surgeries, and new great-grandbabies. I did, however, go to one conference this year, West Virginia Writers' Conference, it was only 40 miles from my house and I had a great time there. It's small and informal, but very packed full of fun and useful information. Cher'ley Cher'leyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15135360082307967914noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-41085928845153669012015-10-19T11:38:29.678-04:002015-10-19T11:38:29.678-04:00The thing that I am hearing and that is impressing...The thing that I am hearing and that is impressing me is that almost (if not every) author commenting here has stated that they consider themselves introverted and uneasy in a crowd. You cannot possibly know how encouraging that is to me -- to realize that I am not the only one.Jeanine Croninnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-90233677577933417362015-10-19T11:02:09.031-04:002015-10-19T11:02:09.031-04:00Great tips! Like Lucy, I stink at parties. I have ...Great tips! Like Lucy, I stink at parties. I have to force myself to get out there and meet and greet, but I'm getting better, now I can boldly go and eavesdrop, still not great at the joining in part. Hank, I'm taking a page from your motto and from now on, I'm going to be HERE - or there, or here, or...oh, you get the picture!Kaithttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07758348842858993203noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-4243422630472864382015-10-19T10:51:18.000-04:002015-10-19T10:51:18.000-04:00Kim, the good thing about MORE than one drink is i...Kim, the good thing about MORE than one drink is it loosens you up. The problem with more than one drink is that it loosens you up...Hallie Ephronhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04759439029582054503noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-92096893811117113032015-10-19T10:46:44.343-04:002015-10-19T10:46:44.343-04:00That one drink rule scares me! That one drink rule scares me! Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04043331746436148161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-8766574266062325202015-10-19T10:35:36.329-04:002015-10-19T10:35:36.329-04:00I love Bouchercon.
I fell completely head over h...I love Bouchercon. <br /><br />I fell completely head over heels at the first one I attended in Baltimore. Two of the first people I met the day before the con actually started were Lee Child and Reed Farrel Coleman and they were adorable! Funny. Fun. and welcoming. And that they both remembered my name whenever I'd bump into them later - including a year later at the Indy Bouchercon sealed the deal. I love 'em.<br /><br />And I met Hank for the first time in Baltimore even though it felt like we had known one another for a very long time.<br /><br />AND I met Debs in Baltimore and couldn't talk.<br /><br />Spending those few days in Raleigh recently helped me during a bit of a tough time. I am forever grateful to this community for all it does for me and for so many others.<br /><br />Rooming with Lesa Holstine added to the joy of the entire experience. And we're already signed up for New Orleans. If you find the perfect roommate, stick with her. (Love you, Lesa!)<br /><br />And I am TERRIBLE at small talk. But I always seem to be in a spot where I get to introduce people to one another and conversation just takes off from there. 'tis lovely.<br /><br />And it was beyond wonderful seeing so many of you in Raleigh. Hugs and More Hugs to each of you.Kaye Wilkinson Barley - Meanderings and Museshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07486129009717476920noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-22352232605618701132015-10-19T10:09:55.703-04:002015-10-19T10:09:55.703-04:00Lovely to meet Brenda--my first thought? What a gr...Lovely to meet Brenda--my first thought? What a great smile:-)<br /><br />And lovely to see Kristopher and Mark, but so sorry not to have caught Edith. That's always the way of it at Bouchercon.<br /><br />"Starting smaller" is a good idea, but you can also look at it the other way round. If you start with Bouchercon (which I did) everything else is a piece of cake:-)<br /><br />In spite of not seeing everyone I would like to have seen, and not spending as much time as I'd have liked with many people I did see briefly (Rhys, Hank, Susan! And Marcia Talley and Caroline Todd!) I made so many new friends--and readers. It's such a rich experience that it takes a while to process it all, don't you think?Deborah Crombiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16988750789088153601noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-62084465559457498862015-10-19T09:41:57.559-04:002015-10-19T09:41:57.559-04:00Synchronized pointing! I love that, Mary. Could be...Synchronized pointing! I love that, Mary. Could be its own panel<br />Karen, I think "go to a smaller conference first" is a great piece of advice. Bouchercon was my first and it was SO overwhelming. Regional conferences (Crime Bake here in New England, Killer Nashville, Sleuthfest in Orlando, Magna cum Murder in Indianapolis... there are lots of terrific ones. They're easier to mingle at because everyone there has a shared interest.Hallie Ephronhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04759439029582054503noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-26489197349102563152015-10-19T09:40:02.889-04:002015-10-19T09:40:02.889-04:00My problem is always that Bouchercon is too short ...My problem is always that Bouchercon is too short to meet all the people I want to. I'd actually hoped to meet all of the JRWs in person, but didn't achieve that goal. I did keep bumping into Debs, though, which always put a smile on my face.<br /><br />I'm pretty out-going and not shy to introduce myself, so I try and make an effort if I see someone hovering nearby, to include them. I've never regretted doing that, and I think we extroverts have that responsibility.<br /><br />Now then, next Bouchercon I WILL meet you all in person, dang it!Mark Pryorhttp://www.markpryorbooks.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-78868433576790975942015-10-19T09:36:10.798-04:002015-10-19T09:36:10.798-04:00Brenda, it's because you have a lovely smile!
...Brenda, it's because you have a lovely smile!<br />And because everyone else is there to meet people, too, an a lot of the probably feel even more self conscious than you do, so a smile is so welcome.<br />Kristopher: Seconding that, HERE HERE for Volunteers! It's a win/win.Hallie Ephronhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04759439029582054503noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-62145098524441104782015-10-19T09:30:19.254-04:002015-10-19T09:30:19.254-04:00Excellent tips for any social situation, really.
...Excellent tips for any social situation, really. <br /><br />The first conference I went to was Bouchercon in Indiana. I knew three people who were going to be there, for sure, including Alex Sokoloff... and Hank! Who dragged me off to have a cup of tea with her as if we were longtime soulmates. Bless you forever, Hank, dear. <br /><br />Since my youngest daughter moved to Virginia two years ago, I've been to Malice twice. It's a much more compact event, so my advice to any conference novices is to go to a smaller venue first to get your feet wet, as it were. Then you'll have more confidence to jump into the deep, deep ocean of Bouchercon. Also, if you know you're going to be there, alert anyone you "know" from a blog or Facebook. They will almost always be happy to meet you in person, and it's lovely to do the same with people you've been chatting with, sometimes for years. <br /><br />The big thing to remember at book conferences, I think, is that we are ALL readers and fans, authors and readers alike. I dearly love that aspect, so much. It's a great equalizer, of sorts, isn't it? Karen in Ohionoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-10636312118310216182015-10-19T09:28:20.214-04:002015-10-19T09:28:20.214-04:00Okay, Hallie and Hank: I've met both of you ca...Okay, Hallie and Hank: I've met both of you can I cannot even imagine either of you as shy. No way.<br /><br />I was terrified at my first Bouchercon in Cleveland. This time, not so much. "Enjoying the conference?" "Writer or reader?" "Seen any panels you love today?" and "What are you reading?" are great questions for this kind of event. I volunteered this year, so I got the big sheriff's star pin and got asked a ton of questions (My favorite: Where's the post office?) so that was a natural opening. And of course by volunteering I met people (had the funniest exercise in synchronized pointing with two other women at the information desk). And once people recognized me from the panel I did Saturday, that was an automatic conversation starter.<br /><br />My problem is events that AREN'T like Bouchercon. Where I don't know anyone and know very little about what's going on. Total wallflower.Liz Millironhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04919409969263609919noreply@blogger.com