tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post641595227559962214..comments2024-03-18T21:16:14.441-04:00Comments on Jungle Red Writers: Bequested, Bothered and BewilderedJungle Red Writershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16646429819267618412noreply@blogger.comBlogger61125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-4520703596240936252019-07-18T21:02:24.915-04:002019-07-18T21:02:24.915-04:00I don't have a house or a basement. I have an ...I don't have a house or a basement. I have an apartment an an attic big enough to keep my holiday stuff but that's it. I have wind glasses of my mom's, the type for sherry or port, that I have never used. I have Pilsner glasses too, and no one ever drinks beer here. I now use my mom's china as my only set of dishes. I am trying to give their photos to my grandchildren (one of which doesn't speak to me thanks to her parents), but I don't have a car and haven't found anyone to help. I am severely arthritic and am getting rid of clutter now because that condition just gets worse. My son, meanwhile, has FOUR storages and lives in a shelter!!!<br />Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03015231293729719256noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-13989141095002167942019-07-18T14:11:13.248-04:002019-07-18T14:11:13.248-04:00I took pictures of sentimental treasures - like my...I took pictures of sentimental treasures - like my mother's mixer and donated. My sister took some of the "time"pieces and sold them on Ebay to. Hollywood set designer.<br />Saxladyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05583281885682505950noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-38589743305625088852019-07-18T13:38:56.576-04:002019-07-18T13:38:56.576-04:00This posting is very timely for me. We've move...This posting is very timely for me. We've moved four times in the past nine years, having raised four kids. Each time the downsizing was wrenching to me (not so much to my husband), but I am getting used to it. My sisters keep telling me "you won't miss the stuff you get rid of," and they are mostly right. This book has been a big help to me: "The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning: How to Free Yourself and Your Family from a Lifetime of Clutter," by Margareta Magnusson. (I always think that organizing books will be life-changing--and they usually aren't. However, this one is.) Someone above mentioned that Swedes have a different philosophy about keeping THINGS. You don't want to burden those you love when it is time to shuffle off. You don't need more than you can use. Be generous with your belongings. Give them to your kids and friends. Isn't it nicer to do it now, when you are alive and can see them enjoying the items, than to leave it to them in your will? My husband and I don't worry about eBay or yard sales or making money from our stuff. We donate to a local thrift store whose profits go to cancer research; to a women's shelter; to Friends of the Library. But don't think I'm a paragon of letting go! I'm still working on family photos, too many (beloved) books (some written by members of this group!), DVDs, CDs. Now, when I go into a store, "collectibles" just look like items for a yard sale to me. But sisters, I hear ya. It's still hard. I'm still working on it!Lorihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07068697566832128740noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-60357109055832238082019-07-17T18:43:43.231-04:002019-07-17T18:43:43.231-04:00a bit late here, but I thought "onions" ...a bit late here, but I thought "onions" was a poetic bit of phrasing. Something you love so much it brings tears to your eyes. Onions! Start a new phrase trend!<br />-MelanieMelaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17946905881136839301noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-15113649398021102222019-07-17T00:00:18.765-04:002019-07-17T00:00:18.765-04:00I read this blog earlier today but had to go to wo...I read this blog earlier today but had to go to work so here I am at the end of the day. And I want to join in this conversation but it isn't easy. <br /><br />I think it's fair to say I, like the rest of you, have done my fair share of sorting out stuff. Moving my grandparents out of their home of 50 years, back in 82, brings a different set of emotions than moving my mother to Oregon when she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's to from my own most recent move to a smaller apartment. My grandparents wanted to move, even if it meant not keeping everything they owned, they would dispose of the more valuable items to members of their extended family. My mother didn't understand what was happening but my sister and I knew that keeping the things she recognized would make the move easier it for her. I'm still not ready to dispose of my small stuff even though I know I will probably never use most of it again and hate paying for the storage unit I have. Now my sister is ruthless, she is very good at disposing of stuff, other people's stuff, though she does have a room filled with books and seems very happy to move them from one home to another. <br /><br />I think the reason for the clean out is important. Are you cleaning out to start over? Are you downsizing and just need to have less? Are you making room for more? Are you trying to help the next generation start their new life on their own? Or are you trying to make the disposal of your stuff less painful when you no longer need the stuff? Whatever the reason, I would say don't let others rush you. You may need to consult others but the final "keep" box vs "go" box decision is yours. Deana Dalehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09093854261937772980noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-10117438096013094682019-07-16T23:16:55.228-04:002019-07-16T23:16:55.228-04:00 Onions! Onions! Hank Phillippi Ryanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07630366214207785339noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-27560076702814307282019-07-16T19:56:32.036-04:002019-07-16T19:56:32.036-04:00That makes me think of auto-correct on my phone. I...That makes me think of auto-correct on my phone. It changes proper names of people and places so that Roz comes out as Rod and other presumptuous drivel. It makes me so crazy if I see it after it's been sent. Sometimes I have to change it to the correct spelling 2 or 3 times before it will accept it. Onions indeed! Judyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16128026892155650398noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-48734289939528163882019-07-16T18:43:52.124-04:002019-07-16T18:43:52.124-04:00I have separated from my husband. I have to go thr...I have separated from my husband. I have to go through my house that I have lived in for 30+ years and do the same things that you are all describing so I can get the house ready to sell. It makes me feel better that we all have this sort of challenge at one time or another. It does help to also think that those no longer needed things will help others. I guess we have to celebrate each time we donate something or have a clearer space than we had before so we will have a sense of accomplishment.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-57638995922596059672019-07-16T18:14:17.296-04:002019-07-16T18:14:17.296-04:00Everything I read says that the Gen Xers and Mille...Everything I read says that the Gen Xers and Millenials are saying loud NOs to boomers' stuff. I have one son who wanted family furniture so what we didn't have room for is in storage, paid for, but now his wife and he have to battle about what their new house will contain. I get that. <br />My home looks like a museum. My cousins on my father's side give me their historic items because they know I want it. I treasure it....though thank goodness my aunt and mother went through our shared grandparents' possessions and got rid of decades of National Geographics. I probably would have kept them. But now I have them all on CD. When the magazine Gourmet quit publishing, I wrote the Conde Nast folks and suggested that they should put all their back issues on CD. Those were treasures. Now I am sorry I threw 90% of mine out. No, I'm not a hoarder or pack rat, but I DO like STUFF, sentimental, historical stuff....and the rest of it, oy, so much time to go through it all...when I want to be writing. And so it piles up. kkhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02296326994943617709noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-79336292716500749602019-07-16T18:07:46.911-04:002019-07-16T18:07:46.911-04:00I'm in my childhood home and have no close fam...I'm in my childhood home and have no close family to inherit. I've cleaned out somethings since I retired and give small things to friends who might appreciate them. I would like to scan pictures in case I have to go in a home but right now I enjoy looking at my photographs, knickknacks from family or trips, etc. Now that I am cooking and baking more, I use things like bundt pans, whisks, etc. so I don't want to throw things away. Kind of hoping that I just die in the house and let somebody else deal with it. Sally from PAhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03649707016754971847noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-23088762967154264442019-07-16T16:23:05.588-04:002019-07-16T16:23:05.588-04:00We’ve moved 4 times in 7 years. The “legacy” belo...We’ve moved 4 times in 7 years. The “legacy” belongings (which started accumulating 13 years ago) were winnowed down each time. This last time, June 2019, most of what was left ended up at the landfill. I felt guilty, but I also was mindful to NOT have my children deal with what we did. I have the memories, and that’s good enough.<br />Joe Bshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04108346162270840338noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-48012517301672032322019-07-16T16:16:08.831-04:002019-07-16T16:16:08.831-04:00The scapes mean that the garlic is not far away, t...The scapes mean that the garlic is not far away, though. They cut off the scapes to encourage more bulb growth, and then the bulbs are ready a few weeks later. Karen in Ohiohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18002794561817071780noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-82343289378410961482019-07-16T15:35:23.872-04:002019-07-16T15:35:23.872-04:00My house is full. The beautiful inherited pieces ...My house is full. The beautiful inherited pieces from my parents are dear to me and have found just the right places in our house, and those combined with our own furniture has taken up all spots available. The problem is that my mother-in-law has a house full of lovely, antique and expensive furniture and items, too. She's almost 91, and we will most likely have to face her abundance one day not too far in the future. My husband does have a sister and there are four grandchildren (two from us and two from his sister). There is one large blanket chest (and I mean an extremely large one) that my husband would like to have, but other than that I don't know that he is especially attached to other pieces. I'm not sure how his sister feels, but I'm willing to bet she doesn't want a lot either. That would leave the grandchildren to absorb some of it, and they might want a piece for sentimental reasons, but most of that generation is now passing on the treasured antiques and family heirlooms. This disinterest in continuing the family possession of items is a real thing. With me, I have loved having some of my mother's favorites things in my home, so it's a hard attitude for me to understand. Of course, I do understand that most people don't want to live in a museum of someone else's life. I have a lot to clear out now, to get rid of clutter, and I'm not looking forward to dealing with more, but we will find a place for the blanket chest. Of that I'm certain.Kathy Reelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17004247271452356577noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-7242315306631087572019-07-16T15:10:53.998-04:002019-07-16T15:10:53.998-04:00Email your address. I'll send you a few!Email your address. I'll send you a few!Karen in Ohiohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13846039203123720312noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-62577726559642973612019-07-16T14:25:49.895-04:002019-07-16T14:25:49.895-04:00I am currently living in my parents’ house. Not re...I am currently living in my parents’ house. Not really my choice, but here I am. Their stuff, my stuff, some of my grandparents’ stuff, even great-grandparents. Today I went into the basement to look for one specific item and threw my arms up in the air. My parents are both alive and in assisted living. I need to start downsizing my own things. I am close to calling an auction house for most of their things. They should have downsized years ago. I have developed new rules in my life. Use good china, use what you have, don’t store things - out of sight equals out of mind. I don’t believe in the Marie Kondo way of decluttering, but seriously does one need to keep pieces of furniture that you will never use and you are afraid to give to one child in fear another child will feel slighted? My parents gave me a junk piece of furniture instead of one that has sat for thirty five years in the basement. It is now going to be sold. Had they given it to me, I might keep it. <br />Liz Strawhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12981072108931064506noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-17798507875246909602019-07-16T14:08:50.922-04:002019-07-16T14:08:50.922-04:00Also, my sister-in-law and I split a set of chopst...Also, my sister-in-law and I split a set of chopsticks that were in my father-in-law's desk - I know he's somewhere laughing about that one!<br />Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05570475947327508539noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-11108009386346876882019-07-16T14:07:23.409-04:002019-07-16T14:07:23.409-04:00My husband and I figured it one day and we have no...My husband and I figured it one day and we have now cleaned out NINE of our grandparent and parent homes - from one room at assisted living to a duplex where his grandmother had lived for more than fifty years and then the really challenging five bedroom home. Our families tend to be long-lived savers. People asked us "Don't you worry you are getting rid of VALUABLE things?". No, we didn't. We kept things that are usable and either we or someone in the family liked. We gave away as much as we could and even had dumpsters. It doesn't get easier and I can honestly say we haven't missed ANYTHING, ever. Hardest for us - financial records and odd memorabilia we remembered which was neither useful nor attractive. My funniest moment came when my husband was holding a weird little naked statue that had come in some odd mailer and had lived in his grandmother's desk forever. He said "No one will remember this was in my grandmother's and was always in her desk!". Well, I guess not. Also, strangely funny, the guy who did industrial dust cleaning in the basement was Tom Hanks distant cousin and looked like Tom. Mostly our house is exploding with wonderful things that we are trying to get rid of as fast as we can and we are grateful we are nearing the end of the inheritance years.<br />Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05570475947327508539noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-74585154040286695252019-07-16T13:44:05.511-04:002019-07-16T13:44:05.511-04:00Julia, I downsized my parents five times, counting...Julia, I downsized my parents five times, counting the two times I moved my mother after my dad died. So there's very little left of their things. Her china, which is also mine. Her silver, which we use. The portraits of my brother and me done when we were each three. I do have some of my mom's treasured Japanese and Chinese prints, brought back from their trips to Hong Kong and Tokyo, stored under the bed in the guest room. I don't have a place to hang them but haven't been able to give them away. I've started to worry about leaving a bunch of stuff for my daughter to deal with, too. So always trying to edit things!Deborah Crombiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16988750789088153601noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-79443341351558621012019-07-16T13:37:43.190-04:002019-07-16T13:37:43.190-04:00Yes, Julia, write a book about it! All your essays...Yes, Julia, write a book about it! All your essays are fabulous--and what fertile ground that would be!Deborah Crombiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16988750789088153601noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-17203853419534391462019-07-16T13:35:19.504-04:002019-07-16T13:35:19.504-04:00Good idea, Julia. I have all the family photo albu...Good idea, Julia. I have all the family photo albums stuck in an upstairs closet, but just can never find the time to go through them, much less scan them. It never occurred to me that I could just take them to someone. But then would I ever find time to label the digital photos? Our attic is full of my parents' old slides, too. I'm afraid they've been ruined by the heat.Deborah Crombiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16988750789088153601noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-60395521444641706862019-07-16T13:24:08.433-04:002019-07-16T13:24:08.433-04:00Mary, I've never heard the term Wopila and I l...Mary, I've never heard the term Wopila and I like it very much! I'm going to keep that principle in mind going through things.Juliahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09553268569509053159noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-29300672679284065392019-07-16T13:21:15.233-04:002019-07-16T13:21:15.233-04:00Boxed it up today for the Salvation Army along wit...Boxed it up today for the Salvation Army along with a bell, toothpick holder, and jigger. All cave-related!Pat Dhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12732230586783432052noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-44328022278466932182019-07-16T13:19:09.500-04:002019-07-16T13:19:09.500-04:00Pat, some hipster will LOVE your cave jug collecti...Pat, some hipster will LOVE your cave jug collection as an ironically kitschy display. Go ahead and pass it on to Goodwill and make their day.Juliahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09553268569509053159noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-29052880462398275972019-07-16T13:08:00.118-04:002019-07-16T13:08:00.118-04:00I've gotten rid of some good items at our chur...I've gotten rid of some good items at our church's auction, Ellie.I feel okay about it because the table/lamp/secretary will go to someone who really wants it, and the money involved goes for a good cause.Juliahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09553268569509053159noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-49731798890771299862019-07-16T13:06:01.486-04:002019-07-16T13:06:01.486-04:00It's good to have a sibling with an interest a...It's good to have a sibling with an interest and a large house, Mark.Juliahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09553268569509053159noreply@blogger.com