tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post6704379678395297118..comments2024-03-29T11:29:56.764-04:00Comments on Jungle Red Writers: Weeding the word garden: tics, cliches, & word crutchesJungle Red Writershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16646429819267618412noreply@blogger.comBlogger95125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-81680407995239055072018-09-05T23:44:44.629-04:002018-09-05T23:44:44.629-04:00How often do real people smirk? Can't say. But...How often do real people smirk? Can't say. But I watched Ted Cruz on tv and that smarmy hypocrite smirked his way through the Supreme Court hearing--and Karen, it was off-putting!Bethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11786511163919657885noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-81918598937009376182018-09-05T11:19:45.150-04:002018-09-05T11:19:45.150-04:00I can handle sipped.. but swig? pulls me right out...I can handle sipped.. but swig? pulls me right out of the book. Especially if the character swigs and then smirks about it. So? Coralee Hickshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06691335135691119400noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-61798648009734269362018-09-04T08:13:46.337-04:002018-09-04T08:13:46.337-04:00I tend to write a lot of “there was a case of flow...I tend to write a lot of “there was a case of flowers standing...” type things. A more active construction is “a vase of flowers stood...”<br /><br />I’m trying to show my setting more through how my characters interact with them but boy it’s easy to be lazy!<br /><br />Mary/LizLiz Millironhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04919409969263609919noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-62523157725008878362018-09-04T08:10:35.231-04:002018-09-04T08:10:35.231-04:00Omigosh - YES!Omigosh - YES!Liz Millironhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04919409969263609919noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-91811597907765177792018-09-03T20:54:53.669-04:002018-09-03T20:54:53.669-04:00That should have read, "how many sentences I ...That should have read, "how many sentences I start with So."Mark Bakerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11567392254011373198noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-54201348047753704662018-09-03T20:10:13.891-04:002018-09-03T20:10:13.891-04:00"Miss Silver coughed."
And coughed and ..."Miss Silver coughed."<br /> And coughed and coughed and coughed.Susan Dhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17163152026039153248noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-55684038086595369052018-09-03T19:15:07.665-04:002018-09-03T19:15:07.665-04:00There is one phrase that is used so very often in ...There is one phrase that is used so very often in novels that I actually find absolutely repellent--and really all, I'm sure this is just a weird tic of mine. I hate it when a character "pops" something into their mouth! I just shudder and think, good way to choke, pal. And also, a brief comment on reading out loud or authors listening to their audiobooks. Every single author I've directed while they've narrated their book has said that they learned so much new about their writing! And we have authors write in saying the same thing after they've listened to their book done by one of the professional narrators we work with. It is such a very different experience than the written word.Melaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17946905881136839301noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-59099738405857799752018-09-03T17:52:28.421-04:002018-09-03T17:52:28.421-04:00I've noticed in interviews, when a person is a...I've noticed in interviews, when a person is asked a question, they begin their answer with "Right." and then go on. What? Why? The same thing with "sure". The word "actually" is so misused it's infuriating. When a character misuses it it stops me cold. "Actually" is another one. If it can be eliminated from the sentence without altering meaning, then delete! <br /><br />I'm reading Julia's IN THE BLEAK MIDWINTER just now, and I'll be on the lookout!Rick Robinsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07978136287154214297noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-17626791944859464502018-09-03T17:39:42.769-04:002018-09-03T17:39:42.769-04:00I burst out laughing, then sniggered, and smirked....I burst out laughing, then sniggered, and smirked.Rick Robinsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07978136287154214297noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-82076138696863365862018-09-03T17:33:38.284-04:002018-09-03T17:33:38.284-04:00Karen, Effing A means the same as "darn right...Karen, Effing A means the same as "darn right!" or "that's right" or "absolutely".Rick Robinsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07978136287154214297noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-73170809986172841112018-09-03T17:26:09.461-04:002018-09-03T17:26:09.461-04:00Elizabeth Linington AKA Dell Shannon AKA Lesley Eg...Elizabeth Linington AKA Dell Shannon AKA Lesley Egan wrote a lot of books, which I mostly enjoyed. What drove me nuts was that all her characters used "hostage to fortune" in reference to their families. Even in a historical novel! One character might use that phrase but not all. Sally from PAhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03649707016754971847noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-79266981084302911652018-09-03T16:59:41.454-04:002018-09-03T16:59:41.454-04:00Pulls me out of the story, too, Kate217 & Hall...Pulls me out of the story, too, Kate217 & Hallie. That “arty-ness” isn’t dialogue — it’s confusing narrative.Elisabethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09047379987310210498noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-2888442270246838932018-09-03T16:12:32.535-04:002018-09-03T16:12:32.535-04:00That completely pulls me out of the story.That completely pulls me out of the story.Kate217https://www.blogger.com/profile/06715848742735302734noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-1257100724826633212018-09-03T16:05:40.808-04:002018-09-03T16:05:40.808-04:00I do that, too!I do that, too!Kate217https://www.blogger.com/profile/06715848742735302734noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-75574074030371144822018-09-03T15:36:25.574-04:002018-09-03T15:36:25.574-04:00thanks!thanks!Bibliophilehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07764234701385787238noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-29740613489444341692018-09-03T15:11:38.849-04:002018-09-03T15:11:38.849-04:00Mutter or mumble? Maybe. Once.Mutter or mumble? Maybe. Once.Hallie Ephronhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04759439029582054503noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-56857756314400650832018-09-03T15:07:26.675-04:002018-09-03T15:07:26.675-04:00Though it all pales compared to when the writer ha...Though it all pales compared to when the writer has gotten so arty that the reader can't tell who's speaking.Hallie Ephronhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04759439029582054503noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-67171495129529741582018-09-03T15:06:46.977-04:002018-09-03T15:06:46.977-04:00Oops
She leaned back in her chair and folded her a...Oops<br />She leaned back in her chair and folded her arms across her chest. "You can't stop me."<br />She grabbed his necktie and pulled him toward her. "You can't stop me."Hallie Ephronhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04759439029582054503noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-75366028110191205372018-09-03T15:05:26.912-04:002018-09-03T15:05:26.912-04:00I stick to said and asked. And try to skip any tag...I stick to said and asked. And try to skip any tag at all when I can show who's talking with a bit of action on the same line. <br />She slammed her glass down on the table. "You can't stop me."<br />She leaned back in her chair and folded her arms across her stop. "You can't stop me."<br />...<br /> <br />Hallie Ephronhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04759439029582054503noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-85311956307817402562018-09-03T15:01:55.796-04:002018-09-03T15:01:55.796-04:00Ah! This is how to show someone might be lying... ...Ah! This is how to show someone might be lying... they avoid eye contact w the person they're talking to. Hallie Ephronhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04759439029582054503noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-61940336755818146522018-09-03T15:01:15.361-04:002018-09-03T15:01:15.361-04:00Swear words... that's a whole other topic. In ...Swear words... that's a whole other topic. In my opinion, there's always a better way to show the same thing.Hallie Ephronhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04759439029582054503noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-39208502299828923332018-09-03T14:59:35.217-04:002018-09-03T14:59:35.217-04:00We need a video of you reading.We need a video of you reading.Hallie Ephronhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04759439029582054503noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-34063017333109772018-09-03T14:59:11.106-04:002018-09-03T14:59:11.106-04:00Yup, I agree - one 'smirk' per manuscript ...Yup, I agree - one 'smirk' per manuscript is enough. Also one "suddenly."Hallie Ephronhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04759439029582054503noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-83107934038299225942018-09-03T14:58:38.875-04:002018-09-03T14:58:38.875-04:00None of that's bad unless you do it too much.None of that's bad unless you do it too much.Hallie Ephronhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04759439029582054503noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1001156153899984046.post-89617810429283051752018-09-03T14:58:06.014-04:002018-09-03T14:58:06.014-04:00That makes me crazy! Even when there IS sibilance ...That makes me crazy! Even when there IS sibilance Im not a fan of 'hissed' as a dialogue tag. Teapots hiss. Snakes hiss.Hallie Ephronhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04759439029582054503noreply@blogger.com