JENN McKINLAY: Recently, I was on a panel at the Poisoned Pen for their annual Cozy Con. It was the absolute best panel I've ever been on - granted, there was wine involved - but, truly, this group of women was smart, witty, and delightful.
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| Authors: Paige Shelton, Jenn McKinlay, Jill Orr, Jessica Elliott, and Jane Willan |
Naturally, I gave them all a standing invite to come and visit Jungle Red Writers whenever they wanted, and I'm thrilled that Jill Orr, who has a new book coming out, took me up on the invite. Jill is a treat and her series, which I just started reading is fabulous. But here's Jill to tell you more about it!
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| Jill Orr |
JILL ORR: When people hear that I write a series about a character who is obsessed with obituaries, they usually have a few questions. Why obits? Isn’t that kind of morbid? Are you preoccupied with death? To which I answer, why not, no, and definitely not! When I talk to book clubs, there is almost always someone in the room who says, “Oh yeah, my mom/dad/grandma/aunt/uncle/cousin reads the obits every day.” If I’m really lucky, there’ll be a person in the group who keeps an obit scrapbook.
That is the little-known secret about obituaries. They, like other forms of writing, have their own rabid fan base. In her 2006 book, The Dead Beat: Lost Souls, Lucky Stiffs, and the Perverse Pleasures of the Obituaries, Marilyn Johnson refers to these folks as “obituary enthusiasts,” a term that I love as much for its specificity as its contrarian spirit. In fact, it was this term that served as the inspiration for my main character, Riley Ellison, who is obsessed with reading obituaries and (of course) gets drawn into solving murders through the obit page.
In creating Riley, I looked to Johnson’s book for insight into what a real-life obituary enthusiast might be like. My first thought was that she’d be a dark, brooding, moody character who dressed in black and thought about THE END all the time. But as I did research on the real people who love obits, my perception began to change. I discovered that obituary enthusiasts are actually some of the most optimistic, hopeful, and inquisitive people in the whole world! Who knew?
Margalit Fox, famed obituary writer for The New York Times, pinpoints why this is so, “…in a news obituary of 800 or a thousand words, there might be one or two sentences about the death and the other 98 percent of this remarkable narrative is every inch about the life.” So there it is: obituaries are about life, not death. We read them in search of those tiny details that illuminate a life well-lived, so that we might learn from/be inspired by/be cautioned by those people who’ve come before us—or least those who have left before us.
In the first book in my series, Riley has a habit of writing her own obituary inside her head when she gets into a sticky situation. Like when she agrees to ride a roller coaster on a first-date even though she’s deathly afraid of heights. Or when she’s being held at gun point by a homicidal maniac. And while these moments are meant to inject humor (in one of these internal obits she “dies” of humiliation), they are also there to show how Riley uses the construct of the obituary as a sort of life-measuring-stick. If I died right now, what would someone write about me? Am I living an obit-worthy life?
Benjamin Franklin famously joked that he would wake up every day at nine and grab for the obituary page. If his name wasn’t on it, he’d get up. That’s certainly one way in which obituaries can be life-affirming! But more than that, a well-written obituary inspires, distills, and curates the entirety of a person’s existence and presents it to us for evaluation— the good, the bad, and the ugly. (At least news obits do that. Death notices sent in by family often edit out “the bad” and “the ugly.”) But the cool part is that every reader will take away something different. It’s almost like there’s a kind of alchemy that takes place between reader and subject: the experience of your life + the experience of that person’s life = a unique and slightly altered view about the importance of what’s left behind when the music stops. After all, that’s the big question isn’t it? Maybe that’s why so many people read the obits. Maybe at the core of every obituary there is a tiny clue to help us solve the greatest mystery of all time: What in the world are we doing here, anyway?
How about you Reds and Readers? Are there any obit readers out there? If so, I’d love to know why you read them! Leave a comment below and be entered in a random drawing to receive a copy of The Good Byline!
Jill, Riley Ellison sounds like a remarkable character and I’m looking forward to reading her story. Although I’m generally not an obituary reader, seeing them in the light of accomplishment rather than as a messenger of loss certainly makes the idea of reading them each day much more palatable . . . .
ReplyDeleteHi Joan! Thanks for the nice words about Riley. And yes, it's funny what a small shift in perception can do. I used to think of obits as kind of morbid too, but after getting into the mindset of the people who love them, I really came to change my mind. Now I see them as a legacy, which is way more uplifting than sad!
DeleteI don't read them. My mom reads them regularly, but I never have. I'm more obsessed with the fictional dead, I guess.
ReplyDeleteYour series sounds like a lot of fun.
Hahaha! Yeah, I like the fictional dead too ;) Thanks for reading my post, Mark!
DeleteI love the idea of a character who keeps rewriting her own obit! And yes I do read them- they’re usually right before the comics in the paper (where I start my mornings) Welcome Jill!
ReplyDeleteHallie, I always save the comics for last - it's like dessert! Except for Sunday. Then I read them first.
DeleteThanks, Hallie! Thrilled to be here! I find it so sad that so many newspapers have dropped the obit section. There are still a few papers who write originals like The New York Times, but many have fallen victim to dwindling budgets. There's a great website called legacy.com that is sort of a clearing house for obits, though, and you can find some real gems on there. Very inspiring! Thanks for letting me hang out on Jungle Reds today... so fun!
DeleteI used to scan the obit page on a regular basis, but that was back when I worked the fundraising end of the non-profit world, and needed to stay up to date on which (if any) of the folks who had remembered us in their will might have uh . . . well, you know, paid off. These days I much prefer to remember the lyric penned by my friend Kevin Welch: "There'll be two dates on your tombstone, and all your friends will read 'em, but the only thing that matters is that little dash in between 'em."
ReplyDeleteHi Gigi! I LOVE that quote - hadn't heard it before. It's so true... that little dash in between is the key, isn't it? Thanks for reading my post and for the comment. I find it so interesting to hear how other people relate to obits - and I have to say, I think you're the first person I've heard from who mentioned the "bequeath" angle. Super interesting!
DeleteLots of philanthropists leave bequests to their favorite charities--think Joan B. Kroc and National Public Radio. The relationships are usually longstanding ones, so the concern is not just the bequest. Often the leaders of the non-profit organizations are friends, or the donor served on the board, or was personally involved in the organization in some direct way, so the organization will want to express sympathy to the family, write a tribute in the company newsletter, or make note of the donor's passing in other dignified and appropriate ways.
DeleteReally interesting, Gigi. That makes a lot of sense.
DeleteYour series sounds great! I've never gotten into reading the obituaries myself, but one of my former coworkers used to read them regularly. She used to share the interesting ones with us. Sometimes they were sad, but often they were more like a celebration of the person's life.
ReplyDeleteHi Marla (or should I say Paige ;)! Since I've been writing the series, people will often send me obits that are particularly one thing or another - funny, poignant, interesting. The only ones that I don't like are the mean ones. I've seen a few and they're pretty horrible. But mostly, you're right, people who are writing obituaries for their loved ones are doing it to celebrate the life, not mourn the death. Thanks for reading my post and for the comment!
DeleteOh, yes, I do read them. At first, I blamed my day job - probate paralegal - a familiar name meant start the paperwork. Now I scan banner obits online. Most often to see how lives are celebrated and I love that The New York Times is now doing a series of obits that were never written in their own time honoring women who were overlooked.
ReplyDeleteHi Kait! Yes, I love that too! It's about time. In fact, there's a documentary about a day in the life of the obituary department at The New York Times called Obit that came out in 2017. In it, Margalit Fox talks about why it is that so many of their obit subjects are men... I found it interesting. I was glad to hear to say it was changing. Anyway, if you're an obit reader, you might like that documentary. It's on Netflix. Thanks for reading my post and for the comment!
DeleteThanks, Jill, I will check it out.
DeleteI always read the obituaries. Recently I read one that sorta made me mad. It said something along the lines of "survivors include, as well as his wife," going on in great detail naming children, and their spouses or significant others, including maiden names where appropriate. All we know of his wife - no name or other details - was that she was married to him. I get it that maybe she was the one who wrote the thing, but someone should have edited it a bit.
ReplyDeleteThen there are those that go on and on and on with ALL of their many accomplishments, going back almost to kindergarten. I always think those were penned beforehand by the individual himself.
Since I seem to be most interested in the cause of death - and so many obits don't mention it at all - I think, Jill, you have a great idea in basing mysteries on what is contained in the obit. Sounds great!
Hi Judi! Yes, I'm afraid many obits suffer from a lack of editing! And I too prefer the ones that read more like a story than of a dry accounting of facts. My favorite are when the person writing the obit, professional or relative, can create a portrait of who that person really was. Sometimes after reading a good obit, you feel like you knew the person... or at least like you wanted to :) Thanks for reading my post and for the nice words about the series - if you decide to check it out, I hope you enjoy!
DeleteMy dad used to say that he would read the obituaries in the newspaper to make sure he wasn't there.
ReplyDeleteWhen I read the newspaper daily I would glimpse at the obituaries but I wouldn't read them with any kind of zeal or anything. If I would see someone I knew had died, I might read their write up but that's about it.
Hi Jay! I think that's pretty common. To be honest, I was never an obit reader either until I decided to write this series. Now, I consider it professional research ;) But I will say I am glad to hear you still read the newspaper! Thanks for reading my post and for the comment. Have a good day!
DeleteLoved your first book, anticipating the new release. I scan the Sunday obits for familiar family names and sadly, see obits for my high school classmates from time to time. My mother assigned me the task of my father's obit ("you're the writer in the family, please don't make a mess of it") with a lengthy list of suggestions about hers (regrettably, she died eight months later).
ReplyDeleteHi Margaret, I am so sorry to hear about your losses. Both parents within a year... that must have been really difficult. Did you write both obituaries? I'd be curious to know if you found the process therapeutic at all, or if it felt like another thing to "take care of" during a difficult time? (And btw, thank you for reading!)
DeleteMy parents' obits for local Cape Cod newspapers flowed with no problem. I did a good job. I had a generous word count and could include their San Francisco courtship and world-wide travels. I struggled more with the hymns for their services, and finally selected "Memory" from "Cats", a show they enjoyed in both London and New York, as the communion music.
DeleteSounds like you did a really nice job with a difficult task. I'm sure the obituaries provided a lot of comfort to their friends and family. Hopefully, some other folks who didn't know them got a glimpse at what/who they missed, too!
DeleteHow fun is this?! I do sometimes read them, especially in our local paper. The well-written ones are rare, though.
ReplyDeleteHi Edith! Thanks for chiming in! I agree that sometimes obits sent in by friends/family could use a good editor ;) The creme-de-la-creme, of course, are the The New York Times obits. Those are always well-written, but because they are journalism (rather than the sentimental ones sent in by loved ones) they sometimes lack the emotion and closeness that I find charming in the amateur ones. Still, always interesting to see who they find obit-worthy. Thanks again for reading my post and for the comment!
DeleteI read them in the New York Times, and in our local paper for a more personal view. The folks who make it to the times have usually led astonishing lives--often people I've never heard of who are fascinating and accomplished. They can lay the groundwork for great characters!
ReplyDeleteHi Roberta (or should I say Lucy ;)! I agree that The New York Times features some truly fascinating folks (I just wrote and deleted several jokes about "stiff competition" and how people are "dying" to get in there. Groan.) But in the end, I guess I was more fascinated by the people who read obits than those who appear in them. Thanks for letting me hang out on Jungle Reds today with you all - what a treat!
DeleteI scan them - or I used to when we got a physical paper. Some were clearly written by family looking to, ah, smooth over the less attractive parts of the persons life. But I remember my grandmother always read the obits. Why, I was never quite sure.
ReplyDeleteI need to catch up on this series!
Hi Liz! Yeah, I always find it fascinating when you read an obit that has clearly skipped some "unpleasantness" in a person's life. Of course, that doesn't fly in a news obit! In the documentary Obit (on Netflix now, I think) the writers from The New York Times talk about the angry calls they've had from family of their subjects for including things that were less than flattering. It's a really interesting movie - if you're into that sort of thing (which clearly I am - ha!). Thanks for reading my post and for the comment!
DeleteWelcome Jill. Riley sounds intriguing and so do you!
ReplyDeleteHi Finta! Thanks for the nice words - and for reading my post! :)
DeleteI am a big fan of obits. They are much more about lives (mostly well-lived) than they are about death, as you note, Jill. When I was a newspaper reporter I considered it an honor to write them. Thanks for employing Riley to shine a light on their value.
ReplyDeleteHi Brenda! I love the way you put that. "An honor to write them." I agree! I think it is an honor and Riley does too ;) If you are really interested in obits, I highly recommend the Marilyn Johnson book I mentioned in the post. It is one of my favorite reads! I also loved the documentary Obit, which follows a day in the life of the obituary department at The New York Times. Fascinating. Thanks for reading my post and for the comment!
DeleteWhen I took the local newspaper I read the obituaries. I read them mostly to see if someone I knew passed. I really appreciated the long ones who went into details about the person’s life.
ReplyDeleteHi Chris! I do too. I realize that writing a long piece just after a death may be the last thing some people want to do, but I assume it must bring comfort to some. I certainly admire it. My favorites are the ones where when you get to the end, you feel like you knew the person. I think there is a real gift in being about to create that kind of portrait of someone, particularly during times of grief. Thanks for reading my post and for the comment!
DeleteWait... Benjamin Franklin, the guy who penned "Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise", got up at NINE? Mind blown.
ReplyDeleteOkay, back to our regular program.
I've always read the obituaries, usually first thing, even as a kid. For one thing, I'm fascinated with names, and love to imagine why and how people get named what they do. I'm especially interested in the weird names: what did they call the person when he or she was a tiny baby? And I love it when the obituary includes the lifelong nickname by which that person was known.
We no longer take the local newspaper because, frankly, it's a waste of trees unless you obsess over sports, but now I read the obituaries online. And I added the obits from my hometown area, too. It's also interesting to see how deaths clump up. Some days there are nearly no death announcements; other days, the list goes on and on.
My grandfather was, for most of my early life, the sexton of the Catholic cemetery in my hometown, and I spent many happy hours roaming among the peaceful tombstones. We have a family graveyard, with about seven or eight graves, high on a hillside at our Kentucky farm, overlooking a lovely, quiet valley. The woman we bought our farm from said they always wanted to build a home near there, and I agree. It's one of the prettiest spots, and the most private, on the whole 140 acres. The last remaining family member used to always call me to ask permission to care for the graves, but he would be well over 90 now, and I haven't heard from him in a few years. We try to keep them clipped, in his absence.
Love the idea of solving crimes from reading obituaries! How fun.
Hi Karen! WOW - how cool does your family graveyard sound? I love that you have such a deep connection to it. Sounds like a lovely place. If you like obits, I highly recommend that book I mention in my post by Marilyn Johnson - it's fascinating! In fact, in the opening chapter she talks about exactly what you point out about how deaths seem to "clump up." Her theory is that people "check out of this life" in occupational clusters. It's really a hoot! Do you read obits on Legacy.com? I didn't know about that site until a few years ago and it's really neat. Much better for those who want their loved ones obit to reach a wider audience. Thanks for reading my post and for the super interesting comments, Karen!
DeleteYes, Legacy.com is where both papers post their obits. So many great features on their site. It's nice to be able to reach out to the family, via their message area, especially.
DeleteWhen my father-in-law passed away, a man who was a pioneer in color nature film, we found out the difference between death notices and obituaries. One is paid, and one is not. Only people of note are profiled in the death notices written by either those submitting them, or by staff writers of the newspaper. My brother-in-law is a writer, and he composed his dad's death notice.
So interesting! I explain the difference between obituary and death notice in my books, since I think most people don't really think about it. I didn't before I started writing the series! But there is a distinct difference, part of which is what makes the final cut, you know? Death notices rarely mention any less-than-flattering moments, while news obits can be so revealing it almost feels uncomfortable to read about certain parts of a person's life. Especially if you know that person would have been embarrassed by what is revealed. Then again, that's why they're called NEWS obits!!!
DeleteHi Jill! So great to see you here… And you know I am a big fan. I’m a fan of obituaries too, I read them all the time, and completely understand the enthusiasm. The accomplishments, and the bravery, and it makes me think about how each of us is an individual, who is loved, and who has passions— and made a difference in someway. Seems sad that we do this when people die, you know?
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, I agree Brenda, it is an honor to write them.
Hi Hank! I am absolutely thrilled to be here! Loved, loved, loved meeting Jenn, and I am now more convinced than ever that all you Jungle Reds are actually super women (we talked about you and how you are the most productive, positive, and NICEST human being ever). And yes, I completely agree that there is something sad about waiting until a life has ended to honor it in this way. As I'm sure you know, many people write their own obits or give their loved ones a list of things they want to make sure are included. My favorites are the ones that make you feel like you really knew the person - I think that's a gift for both the departed and those left behind. Thanks for letting me hang out on Jungle Reds today! Such fun!
DeleteSo happy to see Jill here on Jungle Red. For those who have not read them, the Reilly Eillson books are such great fun and really do give a great insight into the art of obit writing (and a window to their fans.) It certainly doesn't hurt that Jill is one of the nicest folks you will ever meet. I count it as a lucky day when Jill joined in the festivities at my BOLO Books Soiree the evening before Bouchercon New Orleans began.
ReplyDeleteHi Kristopher! I count that as a lucky day too! It was my first Bouchercon, and I was very nervous. You and Michael were so welcoming and OMG, that patio!!! Thanks for the nice words about the series. Always fun to see your name pop up on my screen :) True story: whenever I have a tough writing day, I think about what you said about the first book, "Jill Orr has put pure joy on the page" and it lifts me right up! There is no greater compliment in my estimation, so thank you. Hope you have a great day!
DeleteSo excited to have a new series to explore! I love reading the Obits because I'm interested in how they reflect the regional character (clearly I'm reading smaller local papers most of the time). When I lived in the Northeast, there was a strong emphasis on individual accomplishment and self-sufficiency (George was known for his ability to clean his own chimney and shovel his roof mid-blizzard). In West Africa, the focus would be on who was impacted by the death with long lists of family and friends called out by name (Also saddened were Abdoulaye's high school physics teacher Phillip B and his Uncle's cousin's son, Samson J). Here in the southlands, there is a much greater focus on religion and communities of faith (Isabelle traveled to be with her lord and awaits her co-worshipers in the kingdom of heaven). I love the tiny glimpses we are given into the rich lives that make up our supposedly ordinary existence. Looking forward to meeting Reilly!
ReplyDeleteHi Lysa! That is fascinating take on the regional differences in obits - very observant! I love that too. I think it says so much about community values and how they differ across geographical boundaries. West Africa? Wow, where did you live? The only place in Africa I've ever been is Tanzania. We visited a couple of years ago and absolutely fell in love with the country. Didn't read any obits while I was there, though. I should have! I am also interested in regional characteristics. In fact, in book 1, Riley laments the fact that she's known in her small southern town as "Riley Bless Her Heart" because she's had a bit of bad luck lately. Though, as she points out, you're not really in trouble in Tuttle Corner till people start saying, "I'm praying for you!" :) Thanks for reading my post and for the comment!
DeleteI have always read the obits, to see if my grandparents' friends were there, then my parent's friends, and now my friends. I read the ones in the Times also. At one time, even in the small papers, it was an art form. A former staff member of the museum where I volunteer used to post the really good ones and the really strange ones in the Ladies Lounge. It's fascinating to see what the family wants to stress about the lives. I do prefer reading the ones that make you feel as though you knew the person.
ReplyDeleteI think your protagonist sounds wonderful and am adding your books to my TBR pile. Thanks!
Hi Atlanta! (Okay, so I must know: is that your screen name or your real name???) Thanks for the nice words about the series. I completely agree about good obit writing being an art form! And I could not love that story more about "the good ones" being posted in the ladies lounge at a museum - that should be in a book! How delightfully charming... was it in the south?
DeleteYes it is my screen name and I live in Atlanta where the museum is located. She also posted wedding announcements, also very weird sometimes. "The bride was given in marriage by her late father and her mother..." Not sure I wanted to be in attendance at that ceremony.
DeleteHahahahaha! Agree!
DeleteHi Jill,
ReplyDeleteI love Riley!
I’ve been reading obituaries pretty much since I was old enough to read, so long that I no longer remember why I started reading them. The first obituary that was about someone I actually knew was for a classmate who had been hit by a car(driven by a drunk driver) and killed. We were in the fourth grade. It was awful for us kids. It was surreal, reading about another child just like us.
Last year I retired from a job where one of my duties was to read the obits on a daily basis. Our office administered benefits and property exemptions for people who met certain criteria, and most benefits expire with the person’s death. I relied heavily on Legacy.com for the information.
When my sister died a couple of years ago, another sister and I wrote her obituary. She had been ill and completely incapacitated for years, and we wanted her obituary to be about the parts of her life that had nothing to do with illness. (She did crossword puzzles in ink, right up until her final trip to the hospital.) My sister wrote it, with me suggesting details. It’s amazing how many people complimented us on it.(She was a fashionista; nobody expected that I would be related to someone like that:-)
Keep coming with those stories about Riley!
DebRo
Hi Deb! Thanks for the nice words about Riley and the series! Wow, crossword puzzles in ink. That is exactly the kind of illustrative detail found in the best obits! Well-done. What a lovely way to honor your sister. Since you're a lifelong obit reader, I highly recommend you check out that book by Marilyn Johnson. It talks about the craft as well as the impact of obituaries. It also has some hilarious stories about the people who write them. Very fun stuff! Thanks for reading and for the thoughtful comment!
ReplyDeleteI am an obituary reader! So many gems in there - and you’re right about reading about the life well lived as opposed to dwelling on the person’s death. And there have been some spectacularly funny obits that we’re just brilliant! Thanks so much for being here, Jill!
ReplyDeleteHi Jenn! Thank you so much for having me on the blog - what fun! If you like funny obits, I suggest you look up one for a man named Harry Stamps (we might have talked about this at The Poisoned Pen). It was written by his daughter and is brilliant - a lovely, funny, heartfelt tribute. Hope you're having a good day - and thanks again for letting me hang out with you all today. I'm loving all these interesting comments!
DeleteI will definitely look for it! Thanks so much!
DeleteI read the obits since I am interested in how they write about the individual and if I know any of them. Your book sounds captivating and special. Congratulations!
ReplyDeleteHi Traveler! Thanks for the kind words about the series - it is really fun to write! Like you, many people read the obits to see if they have a personal connection to anyone. I hear from lots of people who started out that way, but ended up becoming fans of the genre because of the interesting life stories found there. My favorites are the ones that really give you a sense of who the person was, what they stood for, and how they impacted the people around them. Thanks for reading my post and for commenting!
DeleteI don't regularly read the obituaries, but as someone interested in geneology, I do save all the obits that I can find of my ancestors.
ReplyDeleteI'll bet that is fascinating! How old is the oldest one you've been able to track down?
DeleteI do read obituaries and am glad to see how they have changed over the years, adding details about the deceased life: what they liked to do or were interested in, a more personal touch than the usual "facts". I also like to see it mentioned that the deceased was survived by a favorite animal friend. dbahn(at)iw(dot)net
ReplyDeleteHi Dianne! I agree - it's those little details that make the best obits! One of my favorite lines from an obituary I read was about how the subject hated daylight savings time and regarded it as "the devil's time." They said it was not lost on the family that he died one day before he'd have to set his clock forward - and said they regarded it as his final protest -haha! Thanks for reading my post and for commenting!
DeleteYour series is unique and I enjoyed learning about the characters. I read obituaries as it interests me greatly to learn about people and their lives.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for the kind words! I think there is almost no better way to get that sort of "ten thousand foot view" of a life than in an obituary. Since most of us don't get biographies written about us, an obit is probably the most lasting written legacy we will have. Thanks for reading and for commenting! :)
DeleteI don't read newspapers any more, but I do find myself reading obituaries when and where I find them online (or on TV). As for your series, Jill, I have devoured the first two and look forward to the new one, which is on my TBR list.
ReplyDeleteHi Margie! Thank you so much for reading and for the kind words about the books. I'm so glad you've enjoyed them and hope you like #3. I'm super excited for it to be out in the world soon! A lot of people are like you and have taken to reading obits online, since many either don't take a physical paper anymore - or the paper has cut the obit pages. Sadly, that is becoming more and more common with dwindling newspaper budgets. Luckily there are great sites like legacy.com where people can post tributes to their loved ones and give them a wider audience. Thanks again for reading and for commenting! (PS: I just re-read what I wrote and it sounds like I am a rep for legacy.com or something- ha! I promise I am NOT!)
DeleteHi Jill, I read them every day! I am happy to read your post, as I just turned 55 and have been thinking maybe I am becoming too obsessed with my own mortality because I read the obituaries every single day! Lol! I have read a few that have left me with the feeling of "I wish I would have know this person". I can't wait to start reading your series! :)
ReplyDeleteI don't know why my profile is showing as unknown, but I am Karen. :)
DeleteHi Karen! Thanks so much for the kind words :) And you are definitely not alone in the obit reading department! I swear, I had no idea how much of "a thing" it was until I started to write this series. There's a great documentary called Obit that came out a few years ago that follows a day in the life of the obituary department at The New York Times... it's fascinating. I promise it'll make you feel normal for reading the obits - ha! Thanks for reading my post and for commenting! If you decide to check out the books, I hope you enjoy them! :)
DeleteThank you and I will definitely be checking out the documentary! :)
DeleteI read the obituaries in the newspaper every day. It's interesting to see what some people have accomplished in their lives.
ReplyDeletediannekc8(at)gmail(dot)com
I could not agree more, Dianne! Sometimes when I read about a particularly accomplished person, I'm left feeling like quite a slacker... which I guess is good motivation. The good thing about reading the obits is you're not in 'em yet!!! ;) Thanks for reading the post and commenting!
DeleteWhenever I think of how obituaries relate to us, the living, I think of Steve Hamilton, after he won the Edgar Award for Best First Novel: "It's strange, but now I know what the first line of my obit will be. 'Edgar Award winner Steve Hamilton died...'"
ReplyDeleteI wrote the death notices for my husband and for my mother. It was a wonderful way of using my gift to pay them a last tribute. The editors of the Portland Press Herald liked Ross's so much, they assigned a reporter and made him a featured obituary. I'm pretty sure that wouldn't have happened if I had let the funeral home handle the matter, as they first wanted to.
Hi Julia! That is so lovely. How special that you were able to do that for your husband and your mom. And I'd bet you're right: not too many funeral home death notices get picked up for features. I love that quote from Steve Hamilton! "Edgar Award winner..." is definitely a cool way to open an obit ;) Thanks for letting me hang out on Jungle Reds today - such a fun community!
DeleteThis is fascinating. I've never really thought much about obituaries before.
ReplyDeleteHi Jana!
DeleteSo glad the post put obits in a slightly different light. I never thought much about them before I started writing the series, but now I look forward to reading them. After all, they all have the perfect narrative arc: beginning, middle, & end! Thanks for reading and commenting!
Jill, you really put a positive and entertaining spin on reading obits, and I can't believe I haven't read any of your "obit" books yet. Your statement about Riley using the construct of the obits as a life-measuring stick hit home, as I've often done the same. I'm an obit reader, and I like to imagine what the person's life was like when it talks about her six children, how busy she must have been as a young mother, how lucky she was to have so many grandchildren. The ones who talk about a person's travels or living in different places are always interesting. I always find myself wanting there to be people left behind to remember the person. The one thing that is usually missing, as I'm guessing it's deemed inappropriate or lacking respect or whatever, is a sense of humor. I rarely read an obit that has something humorous in it, and I rather think I'd like a bit of humor in mine. I'm in favor of a person having some input into their obit before it's too late, too.
ReplyDeleteThanks for visiting the Reds today, Jill. I look forward to catching up on these books.
Hi Kathy! I love an obit that manages to incorporate humor with sentimentality too. They're few and far between, but once you start looking for them, you will find them. If you get a chance, look up the obituary for a man named Harry Stamps. It was written by his daughter and it's absolutely perfect - funny, poignant, meaningful... the kind of piece you read and walk away with a sense that you really knew the guy. I loved it! Thanks so much for reading the post and for commenting! If you decide to check out the books, I hope you enjoy! :)
DeleteI don't read them as much as I used to when I was getting a paper newspaper, but I have always found them fascinating. It's as you say, a little peek into someone's life. Never thought about solving a crime based on an obit, tho!
ReplyDeleteHi Grandma Cootie! (Boy, would I love to know the story behind your screen name!!!) It's sad to say that in some ways obituary readership has dwindled along with newspaper subscriptions, but there are websites that allow people to post obits for their friends and family. The one I see the most is legacy.com. When I found my way there, that's when I got the idea for an amateur sleuth who solves crimes. After all, when you have an obit you already have a body... all you need to do is make it a victim of murder and you're halfway there! :) Thanks for reading and commenting!
DeleteI would like to think I keep up with news and events online as much as I did when I read the newspaper, but I'm sure that's not really the case. I have seen legacy.com. I like the way you then obit = body = case! (We always called our children little Cootie Bugs - like the game - and when we had our first grandchild our daughter said her Grandma & Grandpa Schmidt were "meanies" so she wanted us to be Grandma & Grandpa Cootie. It's carried on to the great-grandcooties ;-), 5 so far.)
DeleteLooks like a great series!! I have to admit, I've ordered your books (I'm a librarian) but have not picked one up yet. I'm off to the shelves!!
ReplyDeleteHi Cari! Oh, I am so happy to meet a librarian on here :) Librarians are the best! I have two in my writing group and they were so helpful when I was creating Riley's character (she works as a library assistant in book one). One note I was given was that I HAD to include a library-nemesis in the series. Who knew? So if you decide to read the books, please know that when you get the part about the library-nemesis I came by it honestly! Thanks for reading the post and for commenting!
DeleteI do read the obits or at least glance at them each day. The newspaper renamed them life tributes a few years ago. When we moved back to my hometown I started reading them to see if anyone popped up that I knew. Too many follow the formula of listing a ton of surviving family. Not interesting! I love the ones that family members write that really talk about loves and foibles and gripes and all the interesting human stuff. Recently a local philanthropist/society pages gentleman died. Since he'd been battling illness for quite some time he had written his own obituary. It was wonderful, funny, and moving. It was like that person was sitting there talking to you.
ReplyDeleteHi Pat! I love those kinds of obits too. The ones where you walk away feeling like you knew the person... those are the best. It was one of those obits that sort of kicked off my interest in obituaries and led to the series. It was an obituary for a man named Harry Stamps that went viral. It was written by his daughter and it was just lovely - warm, funny, poignant. You can find it on google if you're interested, I'm sure. So glad you read the post and commented -always interesting to talk to a fellow obit-reader!
DeleteI only get the Sunday paper, but I do read the obits occasionally. It's usually for the younger people or the really old ones. Curiosity, I guess.
ReplyDeleteHi Anne! Yes, I'm sort of with you on that. Sometimes when I see an obituary for a younger person it catches my eye, and I want to read it more to find out why than anything else. In Marilyn Johnson's book The Dead Beat, she talks about the sort of unspoken code that people follow in obits about not mentioning certain causes of death like suicide or overdoes (which often involve younger people). Although, I've read that's changing. People are open to disclosing those causes of death more and more in order to bring awareness. That's a good thing... something positive to be found in a terrible, tragic situation, I suppose. Thanks for reading the post and for commenting!
DeleteMy dad reads the obits every morning (he still receives a paper copy of the newspaper daily). I do not get a paper copy of the newspaper anymore and have gotten out of the habit of checking the obits. Thanks for a great introduction to your series. It sounds fantastic! I am definitely adding it to my TBR list.
ReplyDeleteHi Ashley! (Or is your first name Ashley Cate?) I'm so glad I've piqued your interest in the series. If you decide to check it out, I hope you enjoy! :) Thanks for reading the post and for commenting!
DeleteI'm raising my hand half-way.
ReplyDeleteI look at them, but don't actually read much unless the photo (important) shows a particularly young or particularly old person. Then I check out some details.
About photos--Isn't it interesting what pictures are chosen? Sometimes an 85 year old has a picture from the 30's or 40's. Charming to contemplate who chose and why.
Hi Libby! My dad comments on this ALL THE TIME. He always wonders why someone who died in their 90s would choose a picture from their 20s. I think it's probably because their family wants them to be remembered as youthful and vibrant. Or maybe it's so people who knew them back in the day will recognize them! Whatever the reason, I agree with you that it is fascinating to think about why a particular photo was chosen - and by whom! Thanks for reading the post and for commenting!
DeleteI check the obituaries but usually don't read one unless I think I know the person. When I worked at a bank, we used to check all the local papers every day to see if any of our customers died. Especially important if they had a safe deposit box since that is frozen after death.
ReplyDeleteHi Sally! Interesting about the bank angle- I hadn’t thought about that. I guess that makes sense though. If you read about a customer who died, would you then contact the family and let them know about the safe deposit box? What if they didn’t have the key? (Seems like that could be a good plot for a mystery...hmmm...). Thanks for reading my post and for commenting!
DeleteI pretty much read the obits every day, and am especially interested in creative takes on grammar, spelling, and sentence structure. My all-time favorite, in our local Daily News, spoke of a recently deceased gentleman who "entered Heaven, into the arms of Jesus and his wife, Josephine." Who knew?
ReplyDeleteAnd furthermore... I'm so grateful to the Jungle Reds for introducing us to you, Jill. I can't wait to further my obituary fascination by reading your books. Off to the library at once! I'm always interested in the stock phrases often used: "She passed peacefully...surrounded by her loving family..." The poor soul might have survived a few more days if that family hadn't been hovering so intently.
ReplyDeleteHi Lenita! I too love those old Victorian sayings like "she floated up to the Heavenly kingdom" or "was called Home to rest in the arms of angels." I suppose they're trying to round the edges of harsh reality - or maybe people just feel better thinking about death in those terms. The New York Times has a hard and fast rule that every person they write about dies. Just dies. No one passes away, no one succumbs to illness... they die. Very interesting, no? They talk about it in the documentary Obit - which I highly recommend if you haven't seen it! Thanks for reading my post and for commenting! :)
DeleteWhat an interesting subject. I have to get hold of these books and read them for my new review Blog launching in July.
ReplyDeleteYes, I admit it. I am an Obituary Hound. My mother says it's creepy, my husband says it's maudlin, my daughter understands her mother's affinty for things more genteel and Victorian..lol
I read obituaries for several reasons. 1. I love biographies too and an obit is a mini bio. 2. I'm nosy, but I don't like prying, so I will wait until you're dead and have a peek into your life and lastly, do we have any mutual friends or relatives? Should I send a card?
Thanks, Jenn for introducing me to Jill..I will definitely be reading up on you both!
Haha -I love that you own your nosiness! I think that may be the #1 reason people actually read obits... even if most won't admit it! ;) If you like obituaries (and it sounds like you do), I would highly recommend you check out Marilyn Johnson's book The Dead Beat. It is the quirkiest little book - full of interesting stories about obituary readers, writers, and subjects! I also loved the documentary Obit which follows a day in the life of The New York Times obit department. Fascinating! Thanks for reading my post and for commenting. If you decide to check out the books, I hope you enjoy!
DeleteShalom Reds and fans. I apologize for being late. Usually, it’s just because I am the Late David Squires. However, today I have an honest excuse. Today we had a more than a 24-hour power outage. No electricity and very limited internet.
ReplyDeleteI am a New York Times obituary reader. I admit this year I’ve almost been too busy to get to the Times at all. Jungle Red Writers takes precedence to the world’s news on most days.
We have a local paper around here. It is called the Bucks County Herald. I think it’s a labor of love and perhaps they make a little money selling ads. It comes out weekly and I only read the obituaries and the police blotter.
I turned 65 this year and I have been obsessing a bit about my own mortality. Therefore, I am acutely aware of the death of people who were in the prime of their lives when I was a child and young adult.
A while ago, I stumbled on to the obit of my ex-wife. We had no children and had separated young without much contact after. Nevertheless, she had remarried and died young, leaving behind 3 teenagers. My name was in the obit and it was one of the only times my name has been in print. The article was perhaps 9 months old and we had not had contact in more than 15 years. Nonetheless, it caught me off guard and I was glad to be at a good friend’s house upon finding it.
Jill, I will put you on the TBR pile. Thanks for sharing with us today.
Hi David! I am so sorry to hear about your long power outage - that's awful. Hopefully, you live somewhere that isn't too hot or cold. I'm in Missouri and it's already air-conditioning season. What a wild thing to run across an obituary for your ex randomly... that must have been a shock. And then to see your name in it!? I think that would cause anyone to start thinking about their own mortality! Love that you get a weekly paper and read the blotter and obits. I have a line in my book that people read the weekly paper in Tuttle Corner for the high school sports and obits :) Hope you are "plugged in" again by now. Thanks so much for reading the post and for sharing your obit story - super interesting.
DeleteI love reading obits! Especially when the person who passed is elderly, and the family tells the full story of their lives, acknowledging them as more than just a kindly old grandma. Which is not a slight toward grandmothers, but those women deserve to be remembered also as the sassy girls they were, or part of a group of close-knit cousins, or the bride who "dropped the Annie from her name on the train ride from Utah to Washington, DC" as I read recently. Sometimes I will read an obituary that paints a portrait of a person who seems like such a kindred spirit that I clip it and send it to my best friend and with a note that says, "We would have liked her! We could have been friends." I moved to a very small rural community about fifteen years ago, and the obits are much as you might expect--more "country", and often more Red. A few months ago I read an obit of a gal in her 80's who seemed like she had been raising liberal hell in this staunchly Republican area for a long time. The list of organizations to which she belonged are my organizations, except that her bona fides go back decades longer than mine do. From what her family said, straight out and somewhat obliquely, she must have been quite outspoken and taken some grief for that. Oh, how I wished I had known her! How did I miss her? Reading that obituary made me determined to literally get out of my house more, look around me at the next gathering of like-minded folks and see who I might need to know better. Enough discovering potential friends in the obituaries.
ReplyDeleteHi Beth! Oh, how I love ALL of what you wrote - I could not agree more with the part about loving when an obit truly illuminates who that person was, not just at the end of their life, but for the whole of it. Love that you clip obits to share with friends - I've met many people who do the same - and it's like I wrote in my post: obituary enthusiasts are some of the most positive and hopeful people out there! I'd say you sound like you belong to that club. :) If you haven't read Marlyn Johnson's book The Dead Beat, I HIGHLY recommend it. I think, given what you've shared, that you would love it. It's a really neat, quirky little book! Thanks SO much for reading my post and for commenting - absolutely loved reading your thoughts on obits. PS: I think I would have liked that woman too. Sounds like she was the original #neverthelessshepersisted ;)
DeleteMy mom and I read the obituaries to find out news about a person's life, sons, daughter, grandchildren etc. lindaherold999(at)gmail(dot)com
ReplyDeleteHi Linda! Love that reading the obits is a family affair for you :) I often hear that- that children of people who are faithful obit readers often grow up and have the same interest. In fact, my character Riley gets her interest in obits from her beloved granddad (who, since it's a mystery, may or may not have died under suspicious circumstances!). Thanks for reading my post and for commenting!
DeleteHi, Jill. What a clever idea for a mystery series. I'm a devoted fan of the New York Times obituary section and make sure I scan it daily in the physical home-delivered paper. I read those obits to discover lives well lived about whom I've known nothing before, and also to see how the Times journalist has distilled a life of someone well-known. The strangest obit I ever read was in the Houston paper last year written about a former neighbor of mine who was not the easiest person to like but did have his talents. An admirable piece, it managed to convey his quirks both pleasant and awful but still retain some affection. He capsized on a lake alone in the evening in his kayak. It didn't mention if it was drink or white powder that tipped him over the edge, but I'm surmise it was one of the other. I'm now eager to see how the Times covers Von Bulow's death...and hats off to Jungle Red's own Hank for covering his infamous trial.
ReplyDeleteJill, I shall be looking up your books and thank you for bringing to our attention the documentary named Obit.
Hi kk! Wow, was the Houston obit written by a journalist or a friend/family? So interesting! I find myself always wanting to know the cause of death (perhaps it's morbid curiosity), but I understand why some obituarists choose not to include it. After all, if you're focused on the life, the death isn't always relevant. Especially in the case of a tragic accident. Illness, on the other hand, can be a big part of someone's life and can sometime deserve some obit-real-estate. Love that you're a NYT obituary reader. If you have time (and Netflix), do look up that documentary - I think you'd really like it! Thanks so much for reading my post and for sharing your comments!
DeleteI love a good obituary—I view it as a summary of ones life. Legallyblonde1961 at yahoo dot com
ReplyDeleteHi Kara! I absolutely agree. And the best ones manage to summarize while also shining a light on who that person was, what was important to them, and what we can learn from their life. As Margalit Fox says, obituaries have a built-in perfect narrative arc: beginning, middle, and end! Thanks for reading my post and for commenting! :)
DeleteJill Orr, welcome to Jungle Reds and happy book birthday! I had one question for you.
ReplyDeleteWhat would you want your Obituary to say about you?
Interesting question. When I was in high school, a classmate told me that she always reads the obituaries. I thought it was strange. Now I read the obituary once in a while. My college boyfriend's father died and his obituary was interesting. The obituary included information about his pioneer ancestors. Another obit was about someone I had never met, though I met his ex-wife. It was interesting that the survivors included his ex-wife. Another obituary never included the maiden name, which I thought was interesting. It had her two married names! Sometimes there are no obituaries when I know someone has died!
In writing classes, we write our own obituaries for writing exercises!
Diana
Hi Diana! Oh.... that's a GOOD question. With all the thinking I've done about obituaries, can you believe I've never thought about what my own would look like? I've heard about writing classes doing the "write your own obituary" exercise -- that would be kind of fun! And yes, I agree it is so interesting to see what information people decide to include in the obits for their loved ones. That's why it's so fascinating to read the editorial, or news obits, because they approach their subject in a completely different way than someone who knew the person would. Thanks so much for reading my post and for the thoughtful comment!
DeleteI love to read the obits and I always wish they would print what they died of. What if it was a really creative way to go??? I am kidding. I remember when obits were a lot more informative and entertaining than the 25 words or less now. I love reading The Cat Who....books because when someone dies they get the whole front page with a nice black box around the words.
ReplyDeleteI am now heading over to find your series and get started....excuse me!
Hi Billie! I think it's a total natural curiosity to want to know how someone died, and there are some cultures in which they do print cause of death. I believe the obits out of the UK do that. Marilyn Johnsons talk about the different "obituary customs" in her book. I find it fascinating! Thanks for reading my post and for commenting! If you decide to check out the books, I hope you enjoy them! :)
DeleteHi again, Jill. Since the kayak death obit is still on Legacy.com, I've copied it here, down to the final barbed comment that captures the man so well. Written by a pal of his who was also a PR professional, I surmise:
ReplyDelete>>>>Alex ______1957-2016
Alex _____--father, friend, and Renaissance man—died in an accident on March 16 near his vacation home in Arkansas. He left this world in the same way he lived it--on his own terms—this time kayaking on the lake he loved, listening to his beloved Flyers on the radio, likely contemplating his next project, under the waning lights of the spring Arkansas sky.
Born in Vancouver, Canada, raised in Vineland, New Jersey, and a proud graduate of Northwestern, Alex aspired to and achieved more than most others would in only 58 years. He proudly retained his Canadian citizenship, mostly, it is believed, to lord it over the rest of us.
He was a highly respected communications professional and regarded as one of the most skilled writers in his craft. (Alex is likely now miffed that a far inferior scribe is attempting to synopsize his life, as he would have written this obit with far greater finesse and command of the written word).
Alex was a creative chef; could recite the nuances of nearly any great film of the past fifty years; a dog lover (an indication of true character); a history aficionado; motorcyclist; bicyclist; runner when he still commanded his knees; and a voracious reader. As a self-taught home handyman, his handicraft was the envy of his friends. And while essentially a private person, Alex had an innate ability to connect with nearly any stranger on a myriad of topics regardless of the situation.
Alex's ultimate devotion was to his daughters, as evidenced by saddle sores from endless hours in the bleachers and cauliflower ear from meaningful talks with his daughters in far-off locales.
His family and friends were both challenged yet ultimately bettered by having been part of his life's journey. We will miss his acerbic wit, natural curiosity, tenacity about the things for which he was passionate, and the undoubtedly awesome WWII book he was working on at the time of his untimely departure.
Alex is preceded in death by his parents and sister. He is survived by his daughters and his dog, Lawson.
The final celebration of his life will be on Wednesday, March 23, at 4PM at ..... All are welcome, even those he wasn't talking to currently, because we all know deep down he didn't really mean it.
In lieu of flowers, a memorial contribution may be made to www.barriodogs.org.
Published in Houston Chronicle on Mar. 20, 2016