HALLIE EPHRON: I am enchanted by Melani Saunders who started the viral "We Do Not Care Club" -- I watch her on Facebook as she reads, a pair of glasses over her eyes and a second pair on her head, and a third hanging at her neck (she do not care), reading in a wonderfully deadpan monotone a list of the things that (as peri/post-menopausal woman menopause) that, at that moment, she DO NOT CARE about.
“We do not care anymore because, well, we are tired.”
She does not care about keeping the house spotless. Shaving her legs. Chin hairs. Whether she snores. The list goes on.
I am cracking up and cheering.
Never mind that as I'm watching her, the screen gets taken over by an ad for Cetaphil, a cream promising to rehydrate our aging skin. Talk about mixed messages. For this, I know what Melani would say: We do not care.
The "movement" has gone viral and I only wish I had thought of it. Because, well, there are a million things about which I do not care (I could do ten minutes on eyebrows, and several more-than-you-wanted-to-know sidebars on the indignities older age).
So what would you list among the things about which you no longer care?
HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: oh, I am laughing so hard! This is so fabulous. The other day I walked to the drugstore, and I thought, as I was about halfway there, did I brush my hair? I had no idea.
I still do care about a lot of physical things, I have to say. But there are some emotional things that I hope I have finally outgrown. If you don’t like me, I’m so disappointed, but whatever. The being tired thing is so interesting – – sometimes I think hey, I’m old, what do you want. I’m going to sit down now I think it’s complete and supreme power.
JENN McKINLAY: I love Melani so much. Discovered her a few weeks ago and am her biggest fan. Seriously.
As for me, I do not care about the opinions of others. In all fairness, I can’t say that I’ve ever cared about other people’s opinions about me – it’s not my business – but being an author gives people an open door to reach you directly to tell you what they do and do not like about your work.
I used to care if someone said something mean about my writing, but now I do not care. I simply do not have time for that sort of negativity in my life.
RHYS BOWEN: I’m afraid I still care! Not to the extent of putting on make up when I go to the supermarket, to getting Botox or a face lift, but if someone is coming to visit I want the house to look nice (at least the part of it they will see. I can’t always vouch for my office, or John’s office).
I am mainly amused by Amazon reviews, including one this week that gave me five stars but confessed she hadn’t yet read the book. But I would react if a serious reviewer trashed my book.
LUCY BURDETTE: Ha, I don’t dare look at Melani’s FB yet for fear of getting sucked down the humor rabbit hole.
I am of two minds, I try not to go out in public looking like I’ve been sleeping under a bridge. Same with watching John–we both tend to choose comfort over style:). (Ask our neighbors, they’ve seen it all. Though I won’t walk the dog in a nightgown–there. I’ve drawn a line. A ball cap covers many hair sins–it’s my signature look.
I try not to care what mean reviewers say. Years ago, I had a friend visiting who is a golf psychologist. He taught me that after hitting a bad shot, it was better to say “interesting” than “oh my gosh, I’m a failure, that’s the worst shot ever” etc. I think that should work for other people’s opinions as well!
DEBORAH CROMBIE: Melani is fabulous! But I have to admit I do still put on minimal makeup just to run local errands. And although I will wear relaxed yoga pants when I run around town, I try to make sure they’re not the ones with holes in them.
I do straighten up my house most mornings, and vacuum the worst of the dog hair most evenings, because it bugs me even if no one else sees it. (Not counting Rick, because he doesn’t care, and doesn’t even notice the dog hair!)
As for reviews, I do care about the major trade reviews, but I don’t read the ones on Amazon, Goodreads, etc. As for the letters in which people tell me all the reasons they didn’t like my book, or what I should have done differently, I don’t care! They can write their own books!
HALLIE: What about the rest of us... are you ready to walk your dog in your nightgown? Let your hair do its thing unimpeded? Or must you run a brush through your hair, put on a coat, and pretend you are ready at all moments for public viewing?
What do you still care about, and to what are you ready to say, WTF.
I try to look reasonable [hair combed, no holes in the clothes] when I go out, but I don't really care about doing all the make-up stuff just to go buy groceries . . . nor do I care what anyone thinks of what I'm wearing.
ReplyDeleteI don't care if the dishes wait a while before making it to the dishwasher; I try to keep the house reasonably neat and clean, but spotless is no longer in my vocabulary . . . .
Great list!!
DeleteI’ve seen her videos and other people who must be in the club. They are funny. I go around with my hair in a Pebbles ponytail on top of my head because I don’t like it flopping around while I play pickleball or do water aerobics. Sometimes I take my hat off. I know I look like a dork but I do not care.
ReplyDeleteOn Wednesdays I play pickleball in both the morning and evening. Many times I do not shower in between and still go out and about doing other things. I do not care.
The things I do around the house, like make my bed every morning, are not because I care what other people think but because I like them to be done for myself.
If people are going to be judgey…oh well, I don’t care.
Ha ha ha! So perfect!!
DeleteI've never cared what I look like when working on the farm. I used to live in Carhartts and t-shirts and baseball caps. I am tall and even before I cut off my long hair braided down my back, I was often mistaken for a man. These days since my lupus diagnosis I have to avoid overheating and to wear long sleeves and high collars to minimize sun exposure. I bought three men's large Patagonia sun shirts, exactly the same, cheaply off Ebay. They are big and light and loose and I wear one every day of the summer, with scrubs pants, boots, and a giant straw hat. I look strange, but I get the work done and I don't care. (Selden)
ReplyDelete“Big light loose” describes most of tge clothes in my closet that I actually wear. Yay Selden
DeleteYeah !! Love your style
DeleteI will have to take a look at that, but even the still makes me laugh.
ReplyDeleteI care about my hair. Both my older sisters have quite short white hair, and I wish mine were as easy to take care of, but it isn't. I don't care what people think about what I wear (except at author events and conferences), and I don't care if they think I look dorky when I wear shorts on hot days. I do zip out to the driveway in the early mornings to get the papers in baggy sweats and a hoodie sans undergarment, but our quiet street is always empty then. If somebody sees me from their window, I don't care.
Reviews? Meh. Authors can't please everybody, and I know my books please enough people for my publisher to renew my contracts. That's all that counts.
I do think what you will wear out of the house to pick up. The mail is the acid test and whether you will be a blur or a lawn ornament
DeleteI have never shaved my legs, so that is one thing I never have to care about
ReplyDeleteI usually make my bed but the fate of the free world does not rest on whether I do that or not. Put that one in the "meh" category.
Unlike a vast number of people (evidently), I do not care about Tat-Tay and Travis, other than to wish them well.
In fact, it seems that the only thing I really care about is whether my pants are zipped in public.
Life is easy being me.
And for you staying zipped the entire Jungle Red community thank you 🥳
DeleteI haven't shaved my legs since I was 19, Jerry! And I definitely don't care what people think.
DeleteI have never seen any of Melani's videos until you posted this clip.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I have been in perimenopause & menopause for over a decade and I can relate to her list.
Since retiring, I wear comfy casual clothes, and wear no makeup. It suits my lifestyle & I don't care what others think. Although I live alone, I do make my bed each morning, but that's for me. And my apartment is on the messy side but no one is around to judge.. I only go on a cleaning frenzy when I realize it is getting out of control!
P.S. i will be 13 hours ahead of Ontario after today while in Osaka, so my comments this week will go up on weird times.
Have a wonderful trip, Grace. You know we are all there with you in spirit!
DeleteSecond that!
DeleteSafe travels and have a wonderful time! Your adventurous travel life is inspiring!
DeleteOh Grace, have a WONDERFUL time in Osaka!
DeleteGRACE: You are lucky you do not need makeup. If I do not put on makeup, then I am afraid I will scare some people because my skin is "pale" and I can see the veins on my forehead. If there is no makeup, then I wear a cap or a hat.
DeleteFrom Celia: safe flights and have a wonderful trip Grace. Do you take photos and post them? One reason I'm still on Fb, so I can travel via my friends. Most recent trips were to Spain and the Queen Mary.
DeleteWhen I was younger, I wore light makeup (Clinique). But I'm allergic to almost everything, so nothing for me any more, not even lipstick! I use carmex, and that's about it. So, so freeing. I'm sure people don't know why I don't wear makeup, but I don't care. It's a lot easier to be "I don't caring" when in one's 70s.
DeleteI used to care, but not anymore. Flashback: someone who shall remain nameless left one teaspoon of gas in my van. I did the high school run wearing a nightie and gym shorts, and when the warning indicator started flashing, pulled into a gas station and pumped a full tank of gas in my pink-flowered nightie, in front of the whole world.
ReplyDeleteAnd probably made the front page of your hometown newspaper, right?
DeleteMargaret, pink flowered nightie THE woman’s power suit. I know this because my mother often wore her pink flowered nightie when doing plumbing repairs. Thanks for warming my heart with this memory. Elisabeth
DeleteThis is so great Halie! I haven't cared for years! Actually, I do care about a lot of things but I just can't be bothered to do anything about them. Since it's just me and two cats here (when I had a dog she didn't care either) we don't need to waste what little energy we have left. As the cartoon said, the books won't read themselves!
ReplyDeleteI agree, do what matters to you. That’s my mantra.
DeleteAs friend “introduced” me to Melanie Saunders when we were having brunch. So funny! I wish I cared less about how I look in public etc, but I don’t care enough to care what other friends (or husband) think about my caring. I am all for anything that makes me laugh that isn’t cruel or hateful humour. The world definitely needs more laughter!
ReplyDeleteWeirdly I do care about what my kids think. And I feel so fortunate To be able to afford a cleaning person because I do care about keeping a tidy nest
DeleteMelani is hilarious, and by the way is genuinely humbled by the way her feed has gained momentum so quickly. I love that for her.
ReplyDeleteI kept stumbling across her posts, and she was SO funny that I sent a link to my menopausal-and-over-it-older daughter. Who was about to send ME a link! Last year their furnace went on the fritz during a bitter cold period, and the furnace guy couldn't figure out why the air conditioner was the cause. Because my hot flashing daughter was turning the A/C on at night. In subzero temps.
We do not care if the repairman thinks we are cracked. Apparently. We are blazing hot, and we do not care.
So glad to have hot flashes behind me… hope your daughter is managing it
DeleteBoth of us have to have a shower first thing in the morning which means that hair is clean and brushed, clothes are applied for the activity of the day – usually work clothes for both of us - and I have never worn make-up.
ReplyDeleteThen comes dressing up to go out to a public place. It depends on the place, but really, they almost all qualify – maybe not a wedding or a funeral. However to change my clothes, in the event that I have not pre-planned it and brought my clothes down to the back of the couch so I can change in the living room – you have to keep in mind that to change clothes involves taking off shoes, struggling upstairs, put on clean clothes – oops I forgot to take off the spectacles and the earphones which wander around a wire underneath the sweatshirt and back to the pouch, return to events going on. Take off sweatshirt, take off grungy pants – hold on to bed to keep balance, put on clean pants holding on to bed, shirt – no that is fine as it is under the clean sweatshirt, forget to put on spectacles, and earmuffs so have to go back to bedroom, and go one leg at a time downstairs. Put on shoes. Tie them – that is an event in itself – who moved my feet so far away? Okay ready. Do the pat down – you know, spectacles, testicles… all there…
The trouble is this has to be repeated backwards when I get home. I DON”T CARE!
Now I think I will write a thank you letter to an author who I thoroughly enjoyed, who just wrapped up her series in book 10. It was obvious that this was to be so right from the beginning of the book, but she never waffled with the excellence in characters, writing and plot, and so good that she left everyone (including the reader) on a high. Apparently, her books are available as an audiobook, and I think on her recommendation of the reader, that I will reread the series as an audiobook in the car.
Now, does anyone know how Julia is doing. In that I DO CARE!
Yes, ailing friends will never go on the do not care list.
DeleteI too want to know how she is. I woke up thinking about her this morning and hoping there would be good word.
DeleteFrom Celia : Margo I hear you, balance is all and I am still trying to recover mine. But have you come across Kizak's sneakers? I love them as I have large S12, wide feet. You push your foot in and the heel collapses then springs back up. I highly recommend them as a way to ditch tying laces.
DeleteThanks Celia. I found them on Amazon. They will be here on Wednesday!
DeleteAlso sending Julia well wishes.
DeleteI haven't watched Melani's videos, but I am familiar with the group and cheer the women on when they say they're going to wear their bathing suits or whatever. My mother left me feeling a mixture of embarrassment and pride when she didn't care about stuff (not wearing her mastectomy prosthesis for instance--very one sided), but now I don't care much. I have once or twice gone out in my PJ's to plug in my car or take the garbage out, but I mostly try to be dressed when I leave the house. The holes in the black jeans I wore to church yesterday were not visible to the casual glance. As long as I didn't have to do a downward dog in them, I was fine, so I didn't care.
ReplyDelete“Embarrassment and pride“… Such a perfect description. Reminded me of how humiliated my kids were that I stopped shaving my armpits. And worse.
DeleteOooh Melanie has truly started a movement with providing a public forum for us to declare what we don’t care about and I’m here for it! I’m learning to not care what others think, but it’s a process for me for sure… luckily I live in Maine where there is a sense of “live and let live-edness”, so that helps. I have lived a bit of a non-traditional life and definitely feel proud of living life on my own terms in some ways! I’ve never cared what people think of those things. Since I was a kid I have always liked dressing “to the beat of my own drum” and continue to as I get older. I like funky things some days, and plainer clothing on others. I generally dress the way I am feeling and don’t care what others might think about any of that. I totally admire women especially who express themselves through their clothing/image. I was at an even yesterday and an older woman was wearing a beautiful, red silk topcoat with brightly colored, embroidered polka dots covering it. I wish I had told her how much I admired it. She absolutely stood out amongst the crowd of mostly conservatively dressed group.
ReplyDeleteYes it’s time to fly your own colors - whether it’s polka dots or camouflage
DeletePaula here ~ hmm, i surely do try to care about the little things. Really I do. But, truth is, I don’t. Too many really great things to care about like friends, family. And the making of my bed in the morning. I don’t care about makeup just to go to the market. I dress more upstyle for church and when my son takes me for a jaunt. And, a pile of books is sooooo comforting, welcoming, and delightful to see. I don’t care what others think so much anymore. I like a clean kitchen so it is. I like - that’s what gets done. I don’t like is what doesn’t get done. Or what hurts doesn’t get done as often like cleaning the patio. Ouch! I don’t care about schedules. What needs to be done will get done eventually.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of ouch, I do wish I could stop myself from needing to pick up every little scrap of anything that I see on my kitchen floor. It’s a habit.
DeleteMe, too, Hallie!
DeleteAfter the pandemic I never went back to wearing any makeup beyond mascara, and I only wear it on days I feel like it. (The reason I still wear it at all is I really do like my reflection in the mirror better with than without. I don't care for others, but I care that it makes me feel better.) Similarly, after retirement I wore very casual clothes for a while, but found I missed the feeling of skirts and dresses, so now I wear those sometimes for no special reason, just because they feel good.
ReplyDeleteOoh, I know one big "I don't care" item: heels. Somewhere around my 60th birthday I declared myself free of high heels and truly don't wear them anymore. I may wear a comfortable pair of boots with a one inch or less stacked heel, and I have retained one pair of black wedges (two inch, maybe?) for the most dressy occasions. Other than that, it is pretty much all flats all the time.
Always a conundrum: whether to look in the mirror, wearing your glasses or not wearing them
DeleteYes!! So funny!
DeleteYes with comfy shoes. The first thing I did when I retired was get a podiatrist. Now that my feet are sorted I do not want to mess them up again. I’ve given away lots of heels but it’s time to do another sweep for the ones that were just so pretty or that I kept “in case.”
DeleteI am on Book tour, in either Greensboro or Greenville, and just went down to the Starbucks in the lobby in my jersey nightgown, sneakers, trenchcoat and scarf. I’m sure I was quite the sight. But no one seemed too badly an eye.
ReplyDeleteAnd I’ll bet dollars to donuts that you were not recognized
Delete....and I'll bet dollars to donuts that you still looked fabulous! :-)
Deleteand I bet dollars to donuts that you still looked fabulous :-). And not recognized.
DeleteNot that you care what I think, but I’m curious - why wear a scarf? That seems dressy.
DeleteI'm sure you looked great Hank!
DeletePatty Jo here. Well friends, I do care! Especially when looking at “pictures” of myself on the phone camera while trying to achieve an image worth posting. “Put some makeup on, girl. You look pasty and old. All those brown spots!” Wouldn’t we all like to have back our twenty-year old dewy skin. I get lots of “reels” on my Facebook about products that can achieve miracles in just a few minutes application time. Plumper lips, fuller eyebrows, and the elusive dewy skin. I once fell for that and ordered some products. Surprisingly, the results were more than a bit disappointing. So, Melanie and the rest of you, I’m going to consider adopting the I-Don’t-Care attitude starting — tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteHow about T O D AY!
DeleteShe is a hoot!! Thanks for posting Hallie, this is the first I've heard of her - probably because I am not on social media. Because I do not care about what the Kardashians are doing. But I like this gal.
ReplyDeleteNightgown stuffed into sweatpants, nephew's too big crocs, 20-year-old raggy jacket--that was my 'letting out the dog' outfit most mornings in chilly weather. Mostly I try to go out in public with my face washed and hair combed--habits from childhood :-) Minimal make-up, almost never mascara because I always forget and smudge it. Latest styles? Don't care. Don't like my book? Pick something else, don't care! Housework? It takes as long as it takes.
ReplyDeleteI am with Jenn - I have pretty much not cared about a lot of these things for most of my life, so no changes as I am “becoming senior”. I do think these videos are important and empowering, since a lot of my friends are in this boat of reaching perimenopause/menopause and are overwhelmed. The funny thing that I do care about more now than even when I was full time in the workplace is my makeup. But I care about it for me, not others. I am on Zoom a lot now, so I am staring at my own face much more than I ever did - and if I am looking at myself, I don’t want my eyes to look “tired”, so I use some minimal eye base and mascara, and that makes me happier looking at me. Also, since I work from home now, and so am in sweats/leggings most days, having a chance to dress up a bit (jeans!) when going out is fun, not the chore it was when I worked Downtown.
ReplyDeleteTrying out a positive outlook for my sanity this week…so I DO care about having earrings in the pierced holes and making my bed daily and wearing underpants. (Burned my bra with Gloria Steinem in 1970s.) Elisabeth
ReplyDeleteI have been following Melani for a while now and love, love, LOVE her.
ReplyDeleteI have errands to run this afternoon, and my hair is a wreck, but I DO NOT CARE. And when I watch those TV ads for the latest gizmo/pill/exercise equipment promising six-pack abs, I am so relieved that I do not care to ever have to look good in a bikini ever again. The DO NOT CARE realization is so freeing!
Annette, once I got to the Double DD stage, I never could wear a bikini again no matter how thin I was.
DeleteI do not care about what I wear when out and about. I wear what I like and what's comfortable. It didn't go well one day, when I was out of town and stopped at a fast food place to get a drink (I wasn't hungry and didn't plan to buy food). A very cool guy came through the door the same time I did. He ordered and sat down. I took my time ordering a drink from the menu and he came up to me and asked if he could BUY ME SOMETHING!! I said no thanks, I'm not hungry. He said, no really, it's no problem, I'd like to help out. YIKES. He thinks I'm homeless. I don't care - I like my 30 year old high school sweatshirt and I know it looks frumpy. He was sitting by a large window so I think he saw me get into my nice car (I just wished it had gone through the car wash though).
ReplyDeleteHilarious!
DeleteOops! Too funny, Anon!
DeleteThe men in my husband's family, including him, have to be nudged by one of the women in their lives to avoid looking derelict when out in public. It's exasperrating, although I have really loosened up about that in the last couple years. I tell him if he wants to look like a tramp, fine.
Karen, I feel the same about my hubby and the weird outfits he wears. One thing about your hub is he might get offered a free meal!!lol
DeleteAdmittedly I'm a 75-year-old woman who started "putting her face on" at the age of 14 so I'm sure I'll always have a relationship with Clinique and my makeup drawer. The other day my hair stylist admitted to me that she appreciated the fact that I took the time to come to the shop "dressed"...apparently that's not always the case with some of her clients. You never know who's noticing you, right?! Even at 75.As I am retired if I'm not expecting anyone or just hanging out at home I usually don't wear any makeup but lo and behold if I am "caught" without my face on :-) I am mortified. So even if I'm expecting the exterminator to come to the house I put on my face. Before you call me out as being vain I mostly think it is routine habit and conditioning. I've been doing it for 50 years...why stop now. Health issues, surgeries and being an old fart has certainly changed my physical appearance (I remember when I used to love to buy fashionable clothing) so I concentrate more on hair, jewelry and accessories. There's nothing like a great Dooney handbag to change up things a bit. If I do that maybe no one will notice my "kimono look". Ah well...The point is always to remain in the vertical position. So I no longer obsess over manicures (a gardener knows that is an impossibility) or pedicures due to funky feet and toes....Only my dishy dermatologist knows how fugly those appendages are! As a postscript I once lost my head watching a landscaping company remove a string of beautiful pine trees and throw them over a construction fence due to a structure being built on the other side. Without thinking I ran out my back door with just my top on...no pants....flailing my arms and yelling STOP! Mission accomplished...the equipment shut down immediately but I'm quite sure I blinded the crew out of the sheer shock of it all.
ReplyDeleteMelani Saunders is my heroine....:-) Making "I do not care" universal so that all of us in the menopausal club can breathe a sigh of relief knowing that there are a lot of us out there who simply do not care.
ReplyDeleteHALLIE: Great topic. I remember seeing the video on Jenn's social media account, though I did not recognize the name Melani at first. This is going to be a long comment. I never go outside my residence in hair rollers nor bathrobe. I always make sure I am dressed before I go out.
ReplyDeleteTrying to think of what I can add to what all of the Jungle Reds said. While I mind my manners here on Jungle Reds and on social media, I have to come clean here. IRL (in real life) I am going through menopause. When I saw Melani's video and read about "I DO NOT CARE CLUB", it reminded me of something I mentioned to a relative. I was fed up with a certain (25 years younger) person's behavior and I said "I DO NOT CARE". They never apologized to me, though their parents did apologize for them. If I did what these enfants terribles did, my parents would read me the Riot Act and I would HAVE TO APOLOGIZE!
Certain People keep on making excuses for the bad behavior by saying "mental illness" for enfant terrible 1 and "autistic" for younger brother of enfant terrible 1. I have known people who are autistic and / or who have mental illness and they never hit me. I think they thought it was Okay to treat me badly because their parents see me as a person with a "disability". Just my opinion: I think these two were trying to spoil this special event by doing something cruel to me, in hopes of getting a rise out of me because they both Hate the bride. Their parents never approved of the bride's parents' marriage and were quite rude to the bride's parents. I handled it by not making a scene, ignoring these two, and sitting at another table.
These days I express my feelings and I made it clear that bad behavior is not okay.
Interesting thing is that I notice I've become better at reading people these days. Now if someone makes it clear they do not like me, I Do Not Care. I know there are always people who do like me and now I am more comfortable in my own company.
That video almost caused me to spew coffee all over the laptop this morning. I love it.
ReplyDeleteI'm trying not to care that my eyebrows have all but disappeared and that rosacea affects only the left side of my face. I look perpetually, if somewhat asymmetrically, embarrassed. I'm trying, but I still care and keep make-up ready in case I'm going out in public. I will go out in the yard in my bathrobe to fill a birdfeeder but won't wear sweatpants to run errands even if the jeans I wear are more worn out than the sweatpants. Logic does not seem to apply. I need to try harder not to care.
I can't remember the last time I put makeup on. Maybe for Malice? I might wear it this weekend for a library event. But for most days I run a brush through my hair, moisturize (sunscreen), and go. I don't walk the dog in my pj's, but I don't go to extremes either.
ReplyDeleteAs for reviews, I don't really look unless someone points something out.
I cared about wearing the same clothes two days in a row if I'm leaving the house, especially when I was still working. I'm sure it because I did wear the same clothes two days in a row when I went to elementary school. Now, sorta care, sorta don't. I can't control my disappearing eyebrows, since the frames of my glasses cover them, so I try not to care but it does bug me.
ReplyDeleteFrom Celia: thank you Hallie, you've made my day and I'm sharing with my daughter.
ReplyDeleteI love all the comments today and wish I could reply to each and every one.
I was raised to care both at home and through school with nuns. Probably this is where I got my fighting spirit, I had to protect myself. It's stood me well over time. Now I've gone from a 2000 or so sq. ft home to a tiny apartment which comes with cleaning, laundry, bed making and meal service. So I have little I have to do other than working at my PT. But looking back it's taken me a long time to let go of appropriate lm facing the no eyebrows and my hair has taken a backward slide but I need to stay focused on gratitude for the great health care I'm getting at DF and the thoughtfulness I receive here from the staff. Not to forget my family who stand with me, the JRWs and others.
I strongly support I DO NOT CARE and Melani. My wish for those coming up behind me is that they can toss off the societal chains or never get introduced to them.
I love this and will have to check out Melani. I've worked from home since 2006 - a lot of things fell by the wayside. I don't even OWN makeup, and I don't care that I spend my days in yoga pants and tee shirts. Like Liz, I brush my hair and moisturize and brush my teeth, too. I live on 120 rural acres, so I confess, at 2AM, I'm walking that dog in my PJs, but I wouldn't do it during the day and honestly, if someone sees me, I'm far enough away from neighbors and the road that the problem would not be me in my PJs, but whether someone was lost (has happened, ATVers have wandered out of the woods thrilled to see civilization) or on the property for nefarious purposes. I do care that the house is clean. That's about the entire list!
ReplyDeleteCould be they think you’re a ghost. That would make a good short story.
DeleteUnfortunately, I care way too much about what others think. I’m trying not to give a fig, and I am getting better at not being a people pleaser.
ReplyDeletePost-pandemic I stopped wearing makeup except for “dressing up” occasions. I care about my appearance (aka weight) but for me. I’m not comfortable where I am and know that I will do better physically as I continue aging if I shed a few pounds and exercise more. But that’s for me. I have taken much more of an “I don’t care” attitude when expressing my opinion. There’s so much happening and we’re supposed to meekly go along with it, even if we disagree. I don’t care to do that! — Pat S
I had to laugh out loud when I read "not give a fig." I use that phrase frequently because it conveys so much in just a few innocent words. Not to besmirch the mighty fig. -- Victoria
DeleteI was born a night owl but had to indulge the majority's schedules to get to work on time, to get the child to school on time, etc. Since I'm retired, and have been for a while, I keep my own hours. Stay up late reading. Get up late. Don't tell me I'm missing the best part of the day. I don't care. Don't shake your head and act like there's something wrong with me. I don't care.
ReplyDeleteMaybe a lot of this has to do with where you live and how old you are. We have always lived in the country, and yes often peed outside – and yes usually behind a tree unless you were Jack or son. Maybe if I was running to catch a school bus in the city in my nightie I would feel differently. We bathed all one summer at the top of the hill, using a plastic-thingy with water in it (carboy?) and a shower spout - no electricity, no water, and under construction. We also lived in a barn over the animals.
ReplyDeleteRemember when you were a teenager and were embarrassed by everything? Then you were pregnant, and everyone and their dog came to examine your downstairs? My last pregnancy, I was forty, and sport between the nurses and I was to see how red the young doctor would be by the time he left my room? Sport, I say sport…
Now as time goes on – I really don’t care if you give me a closed door to take my shirt off and put a johnny shirt on. I just hate when I have a mammo and have to not wear deodorant – I hate if I stink!
I love this! I've spent many a week in the hospital post-surgical and modesty flew out the window long ago. It is amusing when the docs or nurses aren't even out the door and I'm already disrobing. -- Victoria
DeleteI loved Melanie when I happened upon her a couple of weeks ago. I haven't cared about make-up, eyebrows, facial, leg or underarm hair in eons. As far as I'm concerned that is all marketing driven with the downside of making females feel less than if we don't take care of all of this. I often cannot recall if I've brushed my hair, but that is a credit to my hair stylist who knows I don't give a hoot about tons of products and styling gizmos. Just let me wash, dry and go and the hair better know where it is supposed to be and stay there.
ReplyDeleteI figure if you're all caught up in surface appearance then you've already dismissed me and thus will never know the depth of what I offer. I've also noticed if you enter smiling and radiating love, folks couldn't tell less what you wear or if you eyebrows are marching to their own drummer.
I don't care what folks think when I disagree with them or point out a glaring problem (complete with a probable cause and solution). I hope they can take in what is said knowing that I only speak up when situations are unbearable and multiple folks have approached me feeling the same way, but are afraid to be the squeaky wheel. I earned squeaky wheel status when I was still working and became de facto spokesperson for all the people within my company who did the same job. Cool side note: I got two promotions and a moving package while being a squeaky wheel in a dead end job. Squeaking pays off!
I also no longer care bout what folks think when my head pops out of my sleeping bag and I crawl over the console to get my shoes on so I get head to the bathroom. Yep, I'm living in my car and unless you can offer an alternative, get over it. This is life in our current circumstances. I don't care if I wear the same clothes for a week (as long as I don't smell) since I don't have a huge wardrobe to choose from and only do laundry when I pop into a motel for a night or two.
It is really liberating to not care about a lot of nitpicky things. Be bold and don't care! -- Victoria
My father wore a shirt and tie every day of his life. Maybe if he was cleaning out the well, he would go down in a t-shirt, called an undershirt then. When he was aging, and had very light dementia, my sister put him in sweat pants, albeit with a shirt, but no tie. He hated them. When he went to hospital, he was given nothing but a johnny shirt – it broke his spirit. My mother before this – Alzheimer’s – was constantly berated for having her own teeth. The staff wanted her to get dentures – easier to put in a glass, than clean teeth. Her mouth stunk! Kudos to every retirement home, that gives people, and hopefully will give all of us dignity. However still no mascara for me or nail varnish.
ReplyDeleteJust got home from a funeral for the mother of an old friend. Betty (who I had only met briefly) was the most beautiful woman, even at 100, including in her coffin. Astonishing.
ReplyDeleteReading the comments, it is comforting to know that vanishing eyebrows is so common. If I am ever tempted to grow out my bangs I just remember how effectively they camouflage my see-through eyebrows.
Melanie Saunders has a book out, appropriately titled, "The Official I Do Not Care Handbook".
ReplyDeleteTimely - a good friend just told me about Melani this weekend.
ReplyDeleteWhen we moved from our house to the high rise and was in charge of the first and final dog walks of the day (at 4:30am and 10pm), I quickly decided that flannel pajama pants and an oversized hoodie would do just fine for riding the elevator and crossing the lobby.
I love Melani! I’ve been following her almost since the beginning. The first time I read one of her posts, I laughed so hard that I almost cried.
ReplyDeleteI learned during the pandemic to not care about certain things. I do not care to wear make up every single day, unless I’m going out to meet friends somewhere. During the pandemic I did not care to wear my bra every day because I wasn’t going anywhere. I do not care to wear make up any longer, except for lipstick. (Well, maybe if I’m going to a wedding. And there haven’t been many of those in recent years.) Many years ago, I stopped caring about what I wear on my feet. I wear either sneakers or walking shoes. The dressy shoes are in the back of my closet, and I’ll drag them out if I’m going to special events. This past summer, I didn’t even wear sandals. My sneakers and my other walking shoes felt comfortable enough. Anybody who cares what’s on my feet should stop looking at them.
DebRo
I love these additions so much! LOL.
ReplyDeleteI'll have to go with WTF. Situations in life often make you realize what is important and what you should worry about, which amounts to "not much." When my ophthalmologist said I couldn't wear make-up for a month after my cataract surgery in August, I told him that was not a problem, as I seldom wear it these days. I have decided to wear it to my orthopedist appointment in Nashville tomorrow. You never can tell what someone's fright level is going to be, and I want them to concentrate on my knee. My hair cut appointment had to be cancelled the first of July and I haven't rescheduled, so my hair should be a real treat for my appointment tomorrow. I really don't care. I have seen too many celebrities walk the red carpet who look like they have bed hair. I'm almost to not caring about chin hair, but there was quite a long one I plucked yesterday, as was especially noticeable. I obviously don't care what my house looks like anymore, although I was thinking about putting out some of my adorable Halloween decorations this year, so I decided I needed to get the Christmas decorations finally put in their closet. Hey, they had made it to in front of the closet for almost nine months. And, I know I mention Kevin's passing a lot, but it has affected everything in my life and really lowered the bar on what I care about. I hope I get the few tables cleaned off for the Halloween decorations, but if I don't, I won't berate myself. I used to always have them up by now. Kevin and I both loved Halloween. And, I don't care if people think that being a night owl and sleeping in late is not the way to live. So, sue me. Now, I can't wait to get on the Melani bandwagon.
ReplyDeleteOne more quick item. I've been fighting this damn diverticulitis for several weeks, and although I am better now, I have done even less than I usually do. Hard to believe that's possible. But, I have been reading the posts and enjoyed what the Reds were writing posts. I do care about this blog.