They (fill in the blank) like cats and dogs

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN:  (Breaking news: I am at Mystery Lovers Bookstore in Oakmont tonight! Come on down!)

Anyway, when I lived in Atlanta, we had my cat Lola, and a wacky enthusiastic beagle-type pooch named McGee. They were both terrific animals, but the oh-so-snarky Lola’s take on McGee was that he did not exist. I don’t think Lola every admitted there was another animal in the house, no matter what McGee did. McGee, happily, was a dog of very little brain, so he did not have enough space to include the concept of “cat” after Jim, and food,  and how to “arooooo” and well, that’s about all he could handle. So it worked out nicely.

As the brilliant Kathy Lynn Emerson so hilariously explains, it is not always easy.

The Scottie Barked at Midnight: Of Dogs and Cats

by

Kaitlyn Dunnett (aka Kathy Lynn Emerson)

I hesitated for a long time to introduce a dog of any sort into the Liss MacCrimmon series for one simple reason—there were already two cats. Now, some cats like dogs, but I didn’t think a cat with the personality of Lumpkin, the big yellow Maine Coon Cat Liss inherited along with her house, was likely to be very accepting. He had trouble enough adjusting to Glenora, the little black kitten I added in A Wee Christmas Homicide.

By the time someone suggested I include a Scottish terrier in one of Liss’s stories, I’d already written a scene in Vampires, Bones, and Treacle Scones in which Lumpkin has a run in with Papelbon, the dog belonging to Dan’s niece, Samantha. Here’s what happened when they met:

            Lumpkin spat, hissed, and expanded to twice his normal size. Since he was a Maine Coon cat and weighed in at well over fifteen pounds on his slimmest day, he was a formidable sight. 

            The reason for his ill humor was a dog, Papelbon by name, a black and brown mutt of uncertain ancestry, although it probably included a splash of border collie. He belonged to Dan Ruskin’s brother Sam.

            In spite of the unfriendly reception, Papelbon wagged his plume of a tail and tried to touch noses with the outraged feline. Lumpkin took a swipe at Papelbon and missed. With a yip of surprise, the dog retreated behind Sam’s legs.

            “Come out from there you yellow-bellied chicken.”

            “Daddy!” Sam’s daughter Samantha, age nine, knelt beside Papelbon and flung her arms around his furry neck. “Don’t be so mean. That nasty old cat scared him.”

            Papelbon licked her face.

            Liss hid a grin as she scooped up the cat and slung him over her shoulder, thus clearing the way for Sam, Samantha, and Papelbon to enter the house “I’ll be right back,” she said as she started down the hall. “Make yourselves at home.”

            Lumpkin growled low in his throat all the way to the kitchen. Liss carried him into the connecting pantry/utility room. “Sorry, sport,” she told the cat. “You’re confined to quarters for the duration. Live with it.” She had to move fast once she put him down, but she managed to shut the door before he could get past her. The unmistakable sound of claws scoring wood made her wince but didn’t surprise her in the least.

By The Scottie Barked at Midnight, the ninth entry in the series, Lumpkin has mellowed somewhat, although he still has his share of bad habits. He has accepted the presence of a second cat and a move to a different house, but there are some things a cat just should not be expected to tolerate. Here’s a short excerpt, the scene where Lumpkin and his little buddy Glenora meet the Scottish Terrier Liss has rescued for the first time.   

            Liss unlocked her back door, scooped up the Scottie, and stepped into the kitchen. Both cats materialized out of nowhere. Lumpkin, the Maine Coon cat, caught sight of the dog first. His head shot up, as did his tail, which instantly puffed up to twice its normal size. Glenora, smaller and coal-black, went up on her hind feet, trying to get a better look at the newcomer.

            “Now, guys—play nice.”

            Moving slowly, Liss lowered the Scottish terrier to all fours. She was quivering with excitement, anxious to investigate these new and interesting creatures, one of whom was bigger than she was.

            “Lumpkin. Glenora. This is—” She broke off, momentarily stumped. She had to call the dog something. Sweetie was just too cutesy. Wee Jock was a cliché, aside from being the wrong gender. Pets belonging to past presidents had led to the overuse of Fala and Barney for Scottish terriers. Then it came to her—the perfect nickname for an animal that had narrowly escaped being run over by a car. “For now, we’re going to call this pooch Lucky,” she informed her feline housemates. “Be polite to her. She’s a guest.”      

            All high spirits and friendliness, Lucky danced up to the two cats. Glenora bristled and spat. Lumpkin’s ears went back. That was the only warning before he struck out, slashing at Lucky’s nose. The Scottie backpedaled so fast that she tumbled ass over teakettle.

            “That’s enough!” Liss grabbed for Lucky, meaning to lift her out of harm’s way, but the crisis had already passed.

            Lumpkin sat down and began to wash his nether regions. Glenora turned her back, flicked her tail, and stalked out of the room. Trailing her leash, Lucky discovered a dish containing leftover dry cat food and chowed down. Liss collapsed onto one of the kitchen chairs.

            “That went well,” she muttered.

I’d love to hear real-life stories of the 

first meetings between dogs and cats and how their owners coped while their pets adjusted to sharing. In this case, of 

course, the Scottie already has a home 

and returning her to it is what involves 

Liss in murder and mayhem.

HANK: So Reds? Do yours fight like cats and...well, you know. Do they?  Or can there be dog détente?

Kathy Lynn Emerson/Kaitlyn Dunnett is the author of over fifty books written under several names. She won the Agatha Award in 2008 for best mystery nonfiction for How to Write Killer Historical Mysteries and was an Agatha Award finalist in 2014 in the best mystery short story category for “The Blessing Witch.” Currently she writes the contemporary Liss MacCrimmon Mysteries (The Scottie Barked at Midnight) as Kaitlyn and the historical Mistress Jaffrey Mysteries as Kathy (Murder in the Merchant’s Hall). The latter series is a spin-off from her earlier “Face Down” series and is set in Elizabethan England. Her websites are www.KaitlynDunnett.com and www.KathyLynnEmerson.com

MRS. ROOSEVELT'S CONFIDANTE — and the Great FDR vs. Winston Churchill Martini Battle

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: Breaking News!
 It's release day for our darling Red Susan's new book--I mean, Maggie Hope and Eleanor Roosevelt! I swoon. And so do the critics: PW calls it "enthralling" and Kirkus "enchanting." 
I adore this book, and so will you. (And you can talk to both of us about it in person! See below for more.)
But first--inside a fabulous party that only our dear Susan could create.
CHEERS!

SUSAN ELIA MACNEAL:   To celebrate the publication of MRS. ROOSEVELT'S CONFIDANTE, Maggie Hope #5 — which takes place in December of 1941, during Prime Minister Winston Churchill's historic post-Pearl Harbor visit to the Roosevelts' White House— we had our own FDR-inspired "Children's Hour." 

And we pitted (pun intended) the two great leaders' very different versions of the classic Martini cocktail against each other. 

So, let's see who wins the Great Martini Smackdown of 2015, shall we? 

I mixed both Churchill's more pristine ("bow in the direction of France" instead of adding vermouth) and FDR's vermouth and olive-brine heavy Martinis. 

Husband Noel, and our guests, Rob, Victor, and Leila, were encouraged to be candid in their reactions to each cocktail.

Here's my recipe for Winston Churchill's Martini:

Winston Churchill's enjoyment of spirits was legendary, but by all accounts, he preferred his drinks unmixed. According to various accounts he was appalled at the copious amount of vermouth in President Roosevelt’s martinis, but drank them agreeably, in the name of diplomacy.

* gin
 (according to some he preferred Plymouth, according to others, Boodles or Beefeater)

* crushed ice

Shake gin in a container half filled with chipped ice. 

Bow respectfully toward France (where dry vermouth is produced)

Strain into a chilled cocktail glass or coupe. 

Garnish with lemon peel, if desired.

  

And here are the guests' opinions of the Churchill Martini: 

NOEL: This is a really good cocktail — it would be great in the summer. You can really taste the gin but also taste the lemon. Very refreshing.

ROB: I love the simple simplicity of it.

  

SUSAN: Simple simplicity?

ROB: Simple simplicity.

SUSAN: It's elegant. Tastes like the martini at Dukes Hotel, in London. 

VICTOR: The Churchill Martini is very European — "We don't care about driving later — we want alcohol now!" It has a good aftertaste, too — juniper and citrus.

ROB: It's nice to look at the lemon rind floating around in it.

SUSAN: Rob, how many have you had?

ROB: Hey, this is my first drink!

  

LEILA: It's like a tickle in the throat, but a nice one — smooth and not harsh.

SUSAN: It almost tastes like a Gimlet.

NOEL: Is that the one with the little pickled onions?

  

SUSAN: No, that's a Gibson. A Gimlet is gin with lime and sugar syrup. It was Betty Draper's cocktail of choice on Mad Men. But that’s another blog post....Or at least another party.

  

And now on to President Roosevelt’s Martini:

President Franklin D. Roosevelt did always mix drinks at Children’s Hour and reportedly enjoyed making martinis. As far as I can tell there’s no exact recipe, but we know from his personal secretary Grace Tully’s memoirs that they were heavy on the vermouth (which was considered old-fashioned) and he was also known to add a few drops of Pernod, orange blossom water, or olive brine for flavor.

Here’s my best approximation of his martini. Enjoy!

* 2 parts gin
 (according to some he preferred Plymouth; according to others, Beefeater)

* 1 part dry vermouth

* splash olive brine




* 2 olives for garnish


* crushed ice

  

Shake gin, vermouth, and olive brine in a container half filled with chipped ice. 

Strain into chilled cocktail glasses. 

Add garnish.

Reflections on FDR's Martini: 

ROB: I do like a Dirty Martini! Did President Roosevelt invent the Dirty Martini?

SUSAN: I don't know if he invented the Dirty Martini, but he's reputed to have made and served them — much to Churchill's horror. FDR really liked to garnish, apparently. 

ROB: Well, I love it. It has a richer and plumper taste than the Churchill one.

  

NOEL: Plumper?

ROB: Plumper, I say!

  

SUSAN: I like the vermouth and gin together. It's a cocktail for heaven's sake, not just cold gin!

VICTOR: Yes, I can see how this was more popular with the American palate — less alcohol, more ingredients. It's heavier.

NOEL: This is more of a winter cocktail. 

LEILA: This is not a Dirty Martini — this is more like dirty laundry. Yuck.

SUSAN: I like it! More olives, please!

And the winning Martini is.....

SUSAN: So, which do you like best?

NOEL: I think Churchill's for summer and Roosevelt's for winter.

  

SUSAN: That's a very politic answer, dear.

  

VICTOR: I vote for the Churchill. And I'm taking a taxi home.

SUSAN: I must admit I like any excuse to eat olives. I'm going with Roosevelt's.

LEILA: Oh, olives in gin are yucky. I pick Churchill's.

ROB: Must we choose? Can't we just enjoy both? I pick both!

SUSAN: And so the Churchill Martini wins — by one vote! Cheers, everyone!

HANK: I'm a no-vermouth girl myself. And a twist. And a pre chilled glass.  (I always ask for the olives on the side, in case there's no other food. ) And if you want to chat with Susan and me in person? We will be at the wonderful Jabberwocky Bookstore in Newburyport MA at 7 on Friday October 30. We always talk about a Reds party--now it's on!

SUSAN: So, Reds and lovely readers, what makes a great party? Would you rather be a host or a guest? What was the best party you've ever been to? Let us know in the comments!

How Sweet It Is!

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN:  I get it now, I do. They invented Halloween not as an opportunity for kids to dress up, but as an opportunity for adults to buy candy, all they want, with the built-in excuse that it's "for the kids"

Halloween is also an excuse for women of a certain ilk to dress up in skimpy outfits and pretend it's a costume. One year, one of my pals wore black tights and a black leotard--and that is all! And then she the swirled herself in pale blue gauze, and called herself a hurricane. I beg you. In fact, I bet the sales of black tights and black leotards skyrockets at Halloween. but I digress.

Seriously, Reds, I buy Twizzlers and Snickers and Almond Joy, my very favorites, and then I hope nobody comes to the door. :-)  Well, no, that's not true, I love trick or treaters, actually ,and get a huge kick out of them.  But I am also happy to be able to buy Twizzlers and Snickers.

This year I also bought pencils. Yes, pencils. They are cool, funny, Halloween pencils, and I wondered if that was a better (healthier and more useful) treat than candy. I mean--I LOVE pencils! They are not as sweet and swirly as Twizzlers, but they last longer and do not melt. And although you can write with a Twizzler, you cannot read it. And you can never erase Twizzler marks.

But I fear the goblins and hurricanes will not appreciate pencils.

So two things: Are you getting candy?  What kind?

And: Do you think the kids will go for pencils? Or any candy alternative?

No, three things. Do you eat candy corns color by color? Or all at once?

LUCY BURDETTE: Speaking of costumes, Hank, as you well know, the Crime Bake conference banquet is famous for costumes. I wanted to go this year with 2 pals as James Bond and two of the Bond girls. (Speaking of leotards and all...) But whispering now, instead we're going as Poirot and 2 Miss Marples. Sigh. It turns out that I used to dress as Miss Marple in my therapy practice days, so the outfit was a snap.

No candy, we don't live in a neighborhood so no one comes. Pencils for the gluten-free or sugar averse? And the few candy corns I eat, all at once.

RHYS BOWEN: This is so funny, Hank, because John and I were in Safeway yesterday and he actually said, "We need to stock up on Kit Kats for Halloween. Look, two big bags for ten dollars." And I replied, "We only get about five kids at the most."  And he grinned and said, "So?"  He loves kit kats. I deplore this devious way of stocking up with Kit Kats. If I do it it will be with healthy Snickers and Milky Ways!

 

I've been to a couple of fun Halloween parties--I once went as a fallen angel when John was the devil. In those days he had black hair and a little black beard and he stuck on fake horns and looked very scary. But I fear our dressing up days are over.  I'm more concerned about sexually provocative costumes for little girls!

HALLIE EPHRON: Always candy! My neighborhood is full of kids. They play out in the street, such a lovely quaint idea, and Halloween is about the biggest holiday of the year. I mean the street is seriously lit up, more even than Christmas. I used to buy the candy I don't like because otherwise it would all be gone by Halloween. Turned out it was still gone. Now I buy what I like (Hershey's chocolate, Swedish fish) but not until just before Halloween so it can't get Hoovered if up before the kiddies arrive.

My granddaughter will visit us for Halloween and I can't wait to re-experience a 2 1/2-year-old's Halloween. Remembering when my daughter was that age and helped answer the door and told us "Man with four faces" had come. Four was her generic number for anything more than 1. Translation: man wearing a mask.

Pencils? Not so much. But I haven't got a better idea.

I feel outed on the Candy corn. I like the brown/orange/white ones and I bite off one color at a time.

HANK: Well, I do, too,  of COURSE, because that’s the only way to eat  those things. Yucky as they are...

DEBORAH CROMBIE: They truck in trick-or-treaters to a street a few block from us. I'm serious! It's a madhouse. But we don't get many. If it's nice I'll sit on the front porch for an hour or so just in case any "littles" come by. (Once we start getting teenagers in hoodies, that's it.) So of course I have to buy candy! Mini Hershey's from the supermarket yesterday. Now to keep Rick from eating them all between now and Halloween, that's the trick. (I might eat a couple, I admit. I love the crackly ones.)

Hank, good luck with the pencils... I would like them.  As for candy corn, ugh. Cannot stand. Even when I was a kid. It makes my teeth hurt.

Oh, and actually I think the hurricane Halloween costume was pretty clever! Did she have a blue drink to match?

HANK: Yes, fine, it was cute. Sigh.

JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: Debs, that makes me think of one of my life lessons: just say no to blue drinks. I don't know what that blue liquor is, but it's a killer.

We live in the country, and have hardly any trick-or-treaters, but Ross buys the giant bags of Hersey's Miniatures just the same. It used to be my job to get the Hallowe'en candy, but he and the kids complained that I was the only person left alive who still likes those caramels-wrapped-around-the-white-center candies. Our location was wonderful for the children when they were little; we could hit every house within walking range in a half hour and they knew all the grown-ups answering the doors, so it wasn't scary. When they got older and more, shall we say, result oriented, we'd drive into Portland and hook up with friends. Half the fun of taking the kids trick-or-treating is wandering a few steps behind with another couple moms, drinking Sam Adams Pumpkin Ale and critiquing everyone's decorations.

Hank, I think your pencils will go over fine. Every year, Youngest got Hallowe'en pencils, stickers and plastic tchotkes like spider rings and eyeballs. She loved them. And I eat candy corn by the colors, of course. Anything faster is just tooooo sweet - those things are solid corn syrup, right?

So two questions, Reds—what candy do you get? And is it for the trick or treaters? Or for…you?

And the mystery of the universe: do the sections of the candy corn taste different?

*********************

And HANK ON TOUR news: are you in Indianapolis (Carmel Clay Library), Madison WI (Mystery to Me Bookstore)  or Oakmont PA (Mystery Lover’s Bookstore? That’s my Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday schedule—before I come home to see Susan! Please come visit and talk about WHAT YOU SEE!   Click here for the details!  

And Susan's MRS. ROOSEVELT'S CONFIDANTE is out tomorrow! YAY!