Thursday, January 25, 2024

Hoarders Anon?

 RHYS BOWEN: Following yesterdays post on clothing colors and what they mean I’m taking on storage. I feel as if I’m moving into spring cleaning mode, out with the old and in with the new. Throwing out what I no longer use. Trying to find a place for everything. We have a six bedroom house for two people and every room—almost every room—has too many things in it. (wait till you see tomorrow's post and you'll know who is responsible) The only exception is one of the guest rooms which Clare and Tim tackled last year with a dumpster and threw out the entire contents of the closet. Fabric and stuffed toys and long abandoned clothing and do you know what? I haven’t missed a single thing.





My daughter Jane made me abide by a rule which I’ve kept to. For every one new item of clothing that comes into the closet, two must go out.  It works well. It’s amazing how many things we keep “because they’re still good and I might wear them some day.” I should point out that the photo is only one segment of a very full closet!

 Our big problem is that we have too much, don’t we? When I was growing up each bedroom had a wardrobe and a chest of drawers. Those had to hold all the clothing of a couple, and they probably did. We did not have many clothes. My father had one good suit for funerals and board meetings. I wore school uniform all week and then had a winter dress, a good pair of winter slacks and a few hand knitted sweaters. In summer I had a couple of summer dresses and shorts and blouse. That was it.  For my toys I had one shelf. I don’t want to sound as if I’m whining. I truly never felt deprived and most of my friends had about the same. It was the wars after WWII and things were still scarce. So we didn’t need much storage.


 Go back two more generations to my grandmother and great aunt who lived with us: my great aunt Min (really Sarah Ann) had what she called her Tut bag. I think it must have come from the French tout, meaning everything because that was how she pronounced it. In it she kept all her treasures: a silk scarf, a couple of broaches, a few photographs. Every item that meant something to her was in that little bag. When I was small I used to ask to look at it and she’d lovingly share each item, explaining its meaning to me. She had so much less than we did and yet she also never felt deprived. She grew up sharing a room with two sisters. They had a school dress, over which they wore a white pinafore and a good dress for Sundays. That was it.

 

At the moment the beds in one of the spare rooms are covered in photo albums while John does some sort of project. I have two big boxes of purses that I rarely use. I know I should buy one purse for winter and one for summer and throw out the rest but I can’t seem to do so. I have given away a lot of good jewelry to the next generation and all the shoes that are not good for my ankles. I suppose that’s a start.

But we won't even mention the garage, which, I have to confess, has never housed a car. Instead it is full of garden furniture, John's various beers, racks of wine, and my excess books that I have no idea what to do with... yes, clumsy sentence. So call the grammar police.

 So I’m very interested to know how you declutter. Hallie, I know you threw out a lot of stuff. Was it hard? The children say “don’t you dare die and leave us with all this.” Good suggestions appreciated!

95 comments:

  1. We donate "good stuff" to the Church rummage sale; clothes go to Lydia's Closet, a clothing ministry of our Church that gives clothes to those in need free of charge . . . .

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    1. Great idea! Thank you, Joan.

      Diana

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    2. I filled a bag with clothes from my closet the first week of January. Now did a trick, turned all my hangers backwards. When I wear something it gets hung up properly. After six months, anything hanging backwards gets donated.

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  2. My accumulation/clutter downfall started when I moved from a gorgeous 1930's Art Deco 1-bedroom apartment with 2 tiny closets in Toronto to a large 2-bedroom apartment with 3 huge closets in Ottawa! I also have a large storage locker upstairs in the building's third floor.

    I have lived here for 10 years, and have been able to keep so many more things. Dozens of (unworn) office blouses & the gorgeous custom-designed blazers/suits that my late mom made are in the second bedroom closet. Many pairs of unworn office shoes are stored in large bins in that same closet. Pre-pandemic, I donated several pairs of barely worn boots from the hall closet & lightly worn clothes to the Salvation Army Store. But it was a long haul to carry large bags by bus. I should donate dozens of purses/bags I no longer use.

    Since I seriously expanded my balcony gardening setup during the pandemic lockdown, that same bedroom is cluttered with lots of gardening supplies (pots, soil, trellises, grow lights). This bedroom is also where 12 (out of 22) floor-to-ceiling bookcases contain the books that I have read.

    On a positive note, after KATHY VINES' post, I started small and have been able to maintain a clean work desk and coffee table space for 2 weeks. It feels good to have no clutter in the space where I spend the most time!

    Next on my list is decluttering the chest freezer & kitchen pantry. It is an annual chore which I should do again this winter.



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    1. GRACE: Definitely feels good to have NO clutter! Diana

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    2. I am good at pantry decluttering, I go through every few months and rearrange shelves. And we work through the big freezer to empty it

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  3. I love your description of minimal possessions from your childhood, Rhys. When I was in college and for a few years after, I prided myself on not owning more than could fit in a VW bug.

    Now? Ouch. The closet clutter and the basement clutter. And the t-shirt drawer (which I opened this morning then gave up and shut, barely). If I kept only the clothes I actually wear, it would boil down to a few summer tops, a few pair of shorts, a couple of favorite skirts. About ten black stretchy shirts and three sweatshirts. Four pair of jeans and two pair of "soft pants." A few conference-ready pants and blazers. A couple of nice sweaters. I need to accept that I am rather more, shall we say, full-figured than I was even ten years ago and just DUMP everything else.

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    1. Edith, when I was in college, I did the minimalist approach since I shared a house near campus with other people. It made life much easier.

      Diana

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    2. Edith I keep too many ‘good ‘ jackets for appearances etc. they need to go

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  4. I would love to going back to minimalism again like when we were kids. Unfortunately, I happen to be married to shopaholic. He sees something and he has to have it, no matter that we have no space for it. We can't even use the lanai for what it's supposed to be used for. When we bought the house I had visions of getting nice patio furniture and using it as a reading room, he turned it into a junk room and keeps telling me that he is going to get rid of the junk. I've started working on going through my clothes to donate or throw out. I won't get rid of my books as I still have room on my bookcases.

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    1. Like “how can I be out of money; I still have checks?” Love it, Paula! — Pat S

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  5. I just made a move from Massachusetts to Texas to be near family. I basically purged everything before the movers came and it was hard. I had so many Vera Bradley purses, I decided to give to a friend that is in need of extra cash for her to sell on Poshmark.

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    1. Great idea. Maybe I can give mine to my granddaughter to make extra money

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  6. I'm married to a pack rat, but he's starting to get better. We had a new furnace installed last summer, and when he realized there was no way anyone could work in our cluttered basement, we started tossing. As for my clothes, I started practicing buy-something-toss-something a few years ago. Purged items go to Good Will. It's time to do that again.

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  7. RHYS: Great topic today!

    There was an episode on Midsomer Murders where this elderly couple hoarded everything, especially the newspapers. Phylida Law and Edward Fox played the elderly couple. There were stacks of old newspapers!

    Right now, I am in the process of getting rid of newspapers, which is almost complete! For me, it feels so good to declutter!

    Refuse to get rid of my Evans books, my early ARC books, signed books and books that are now out of print. I keep clothes forever.

    They used to sell my favorite style of jeans and they seem to have discontinued that. Instead of buying new jeans that do not fit well, I mend my jeans.

    Another part of decluttering is finding OLD over the counter medications that expired! I started doing the cleaning system devised in THE MAID by Nita Prose.

    Organizing photos is a BIG project for me.

    Diana

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    1. p.s. Your minimalist approach sounds great, Rhys. That reminded me of when I travelled to Europe. In some countries, people do not consume as much as Americans do.

      Diana

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    2. DIANA: I have a similar issue with my favourite style of jeans. When I used to travel a lot to the US or Western Canada, I could buy a new pair of Lee's relaxed jeans at a Kohl's or Hudson's Bay store, respectively. I did not see a Kohl's store while I was in Albuquerque and Minneapolis in 2022, or San Diego in 2023. Fortunately, I can still fit into my older pairs of Lee's jeans.

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    3. Grace, next time we are going to overlap at a US conf, tell me your size and I'll see if I can find your jeans at a Kohls near me - or order them online and bring them.

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    4. EDITH: I may take you up on that kind offer! We'll probably be at Denver LCC in March 2025. I checked the Kohl's website for Colorado locations, and again there are no Kohl's stores in either Denver or Boulder.

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    5. Edith, we have Kohl's here, too, and I can make the same offer as Edith for when we are together in May.

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    6. KAREN: Thanks for also offering to pick up a pair for me! I checked their website, and YAY, Kohl's still sells the Lee's jeans in my size. I will send you colour/size details by Messenger.

      Interesting there's no Kohl's in Seattle or Bellevue. Have they been closing stores? I usually had no trouble finding a Kohl's during past travels (last time was 2019).

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    7. Grace, although I’ve not followed it carefully, I am aware that Kohl’s have been closing around the US…scattered friends check in on favorite places to shop. Elisabeth

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    8. Ok, thanks for letting me know, Elisabeth. Lee's jeans are one of the few clothing staples I consistently bought at Kohl's stores from the 1990s-2010s since they had much cheaper prices & more selection than what I could find on my occasional trips to western Canada.

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    9. Grace, there are several Kohl’s stores in the Minneapolis area suburbs. Sorry you couldn’t locate a store while you were there. I hope you get hooked up with some new jeans!

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    10. DIANA : I love that you are using THE MAID method! I need to start that, too.

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    11. BRENDA: Thanks, I pretty much stayed in downtown Minneapolis for Bouchercon, except when I went to the Minnesota State Fair in St Paul. That was my first time going to a State Fair anywhere in the USA, and it was worth it!

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    12. Hope you sampled lots of things on a stick to eat at the Fair!

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    13. Oh yeah, I ate plenty of MN fair foods on a stick: corn dogs, cheese sticks, nut balls, tornado potatoes. And I also ate fried walleye, mini donuts, fried ravioli and other fair foods that I can't remember.

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    14. GRACE: Though I Love NYDJ jeans, they seem to have discontinued the line of design that fit me. The new designs do not seem to fit me as well.

      Diana

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    15. Sorry that your NYDJ jeans have been discontinued. When KAREN & EDITH both offered to pick up a new pair of Lee's jeans for me, I checked the Kohl's website. The style I wear is in stock & still at a reasonable price (up $6 from when I last bought a pair in 2019). Fortunately, Lee's jeans are usually well made & durable. The ones I own are still good to wear 6-7 years later.

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    16. Diana here. I tried Lee jeans and unfortunately they never fit me right. I am going to try other styles from NYDJ and see which pair works for me. I do not have a Kohl’s in my area though there is a REI and I do not think they sell the jeans that I want. Grace, that is great about your style being in stock.

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  8. Her's realy great thing I learned from our own Kathy VInes! Look at, say, a brown purse. Ask yourself: Is this my very favorite purse, the one I would choose over all other brown purses?
    No.
    It's not your favorite?
    No.
    Well, think about this---it MIGHT be someone else's favorite.
    OH! When I think I could be giving someone their new favorite purse, I think--TAKE THEM ALL! GIVE them ALL away! It's so much fun!
    And here's another key thought: Having a lot of stuff is simply a false sense of security.
    It's just taking up room that could be used with your favorite things--or blissfully empty, and giving your wonderful things the space they deserve.
    xxx

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    1. HANK: So true about the purses. I found over a dozen lightly used handbags in my second bedroom closet last month when I was looking for queen-sized sheets to gift. I have not used any of them in over 8 years, so they should go to someone else who needs them!

      Buy Nothing local groups (on Facebook) are another great way to freely gift unused items.
      It is a global movement so there's probably a local Buy Nothing group in most cities/neighbourhoods. I have been a member of the ByWard Market/Lowertown group for the past 3 years, so that's probably the best place for me to offer those handbags!!

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    2. https://help.buynothingproject.org/facebook
      A worldwide network of hyperlocal gift economies.
      We have private Facebook Buy Nothing FB groups but there are other venues in different cities.

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    3. I have never owned a purse. That is why they made pockets.

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    4. MARGO: You & I are kindred spirits. I mainly keep my daily items in my pockets. My handbag/purses are remnants of the work office attire.

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    5. Margo, my wallet and phone are huge and heavy. If they were in pockets they’d weigh me down

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    6. RHYS: That's where we differ. I don't carry a wallet anymore. I just use a thin RFID-blocking sleeve that can hold 3 cards (e.g. credit card, library card, transit card). And my Samsung smartphone is a smaller model that fits in either my Lee's jeans or zippered jacket/coat pocket.

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    7. Grace, thank you for mentioning Buy Nothing! We have recently jumped on the Buy Nothing bandwagon in a big way: we’re trying to clean out a storage unit that mainly has things from our parents’ houses. Nice things in good shape, but not our style. But they strike a chord with our neighbors and everyone is happy! — Pat S

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    8. PAT S: Yes, I have found it more satisfying to gift an unwanted item from my home to someone in my local Buy Nothing group who really needs it! Lugging a big bag of clothes to the Salvation Army store was less satisfying & more inconvenient.

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  9. You are all very inspiring this morning! I'm out of town for an event, but when I get back, I'm going to throw some things out and give others away!

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    1. Yes--think about this: the same thing that drives you crazy--would make someone else SO happy!

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  10. When we moved here, less than five years ago, I had everything so organized, and everything fit in the designated spaces. I left unpacked boxes in the basement and was determined not to bring anything up to the first or second floors unless it was needed. Welp, you know the story. It's time to wrestle it all back into some semblance of order. Too many purses? Guilty. Boots? Yep. Winter coats I have barely worn since winter forgot us? Of course. And those unopened boxes? They also need to go.

    I have kept the clutter down in our living space, though, and try to keep surfaces carefully curated, with the exception of the kitchen island (which is HUGE, 7' X 7', so lots of room to drop stuff), and the laundry room. But once the downstairs is finished, I'm hoping I can move all my extremely cramped sewing stuff down to the new sewing room. And move some of my winter gardening activities into the laundry room (it's a big room, on purpose).

    The garage is another issue. Tomorrow. Seriously, tomorrow I will break down the millions of boxes. They're already flattened, but need to be smaller for the recycling bin, or go directly to the cardboard waste center a few miles away. Steve photographs bird feeders, as I've mentioned, and we have dozens of them everywhere, plus the boxes they came in. Anybody need to wrap your house in bubble wrap? Luckily, the county just started offering an "orange bag" recycling service for stuff they don't ordinarily take. That relieves some of the pressure.

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    1. Life was easier when we had less choice, and when we could not just order something from our phone and appease our impulse to buy in seconds. Lately I've seen some horrifying photos of clothing waste, dumped in less wealthy parts of the world in literal mountains of waste, and it is truly sobering. Even donating to Goodwill, et al, doesn't help. Unsold secondhand stuff ends up on container ships going to poor countries all over the world. It doesn't vanish when we donate it, it just shoves off elsewhere.

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    2. Good point, Karen. Tossing at our end doesn't necessarily mean the problem is solved.

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    3. I think a LOT of choices are made that don't later work out. The shoes pinch, the fit isn't quite right (or weight loss/gain happens), the occasion fizzled out, etc. We keep waiting with hope that the optimal timing will come around again, or another event that requires whatever will magically happen, and it doesn't.

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    4. One thing John loves to do is break down boxes for recycling. Since Amazon comes almost every day this is good.

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    5. Several years ago when my daughter moved house she had a garage full of empty boxes. She put it on a local free site and a young woman getting ready to move was thrilled to come pick them up - moving boxes are expensive if you have to buy them

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    6. Definitely time to go through shoes I'll never wear again! Books go to local Friends of the library...I have to figure out how to get through my TBR stack!

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  11. We have a small bungalow and, literally, have no room for possessions to get out of hand. That is not to say that we don't have 'stuff' that lingers that should be moved along...It takes time and effort to sort and take away and, truthfully, there is always something else I would rather do. The emotions involved in making choices must be acknowledged, especially about those things that, once gone, mean we will never use them again. Camping gear? Pass it along! OK, but that means we will never again go camping. If that thought weren't so hard, it would be easier to sort through that equipment.

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    1. Amanda, that's the way we felt about our camping gear, our skis, Irwin's dad's fishing gear. It's the way I feel about my size 4 suits for a 25" waistline (oh, yeah, those days are gone girl) and my leather 3" heels (fugetaboutit!), etc. Big sigh.

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    2. Ha, like the tent we've been lugging from spot to spot for 30 years without using. Yeah, that could definitely get passed on! Except who will want it? The newer tents are lighter and more durable, and way easier to put up. Sigh.

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  12. I don't feel like I have a lot of stuff. I only buy clothes if I need something - or if I see it and fall in love. I almost bought a totally unnecessary jacket at B'con last summer, but it failed the test. It didn't have pockets. I do have a drawer in my dresser that could use a going through for old jewelry and I have another of nail polish that probably just needs to go since I rarely do my nails any longer.

    As I think of it, most of the "stuff" in the house belongs to The Hubby. Before he retired, he'd get bored and go to the Macy's Last Call department or "Going, Going, Gone," which is the closeout store for Dick's Sporting Goods. He'd come home with all sorts of things. "These pants were $12 - how do you say no?" Well, if you don't really need an eighth pair of khaki pants, you put them down and walk away. LOL

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  13. Luckily, I only wear clothes to cover my body, and also rarely go out. Laundry is every 5 days, so I have 6 sets of underwear, tshirts, socks, 3 pr of pants and too many sweatshirts – some are too soiled or faded to be seen in public, but still holding in there. There are 2 nice shirts and a nice pair of pants and a sweater, if I have to dress up. Enough!
    Our kids were brought up in much the same way with a clean set of clothes for each day, and an older set in the back in case there was a clothes accident sometime in the day. There were 2 pr of pj’s as they were not changed every day just once a week when the sheets were done. Clothes were passed down, and while some were only for ‘home’ (Boy child looked lovely in a pink sleeper, passed down from Girl child), it was enough that a 4-drawer dresser had a drawer for each kid, and the bottom drawer for ‘out of season’. Now I look at the mountain of clothes that each grandchild has and wonder how many are actually worn. My sister-in-law (more money than brains), dressed her girls in white socks, and changed them 2 -3 times a DAY. They usually lasted less than a month and then she would buy new ones.
    That all being said, I do need to clean out the closet, as it needs a new influx. Last summer’s tshirts are getting tired looking, so after wearing them underneath the sweatshirt all winter, I look forward to new ones. I have already bought the new sneakers.

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    1. Our kids went to Catholic school for several years with a uniform. That was wonderful. No agonizing over what to wear!

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  14. I am trying to declutter, slowly. After 20 years in a 2 1/2 bedroom house, I definitely have more stuff than I need. Various family members have lived with me over the years and some of their stuff is still in my basement, as are a few boxes that came from our parents' house after their deaths. Because my bedroom is small, with a small closet, clothes aren't the problem. I donate stuff on a regular basis. It feels rather overwhelming, but I like Kathy Vines' advice. And how much stuff do we need really?

    I think about my Nicaraguan friends, a family of 5, who fled their country with very little (Freddy with nothing, the others with 2 bags each). They are (hopefully) going to move soon into a 3 bedroom apartment and will have to furnish it with donations and items from the Community Warehouse. There are often places for our old stuff to find a good new home.

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    1. My Salvadoran cleaning lady takes all the clothing I discard !

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  15. I just mailed a box of beautiful silk blouses to my little cousin, the only girl in the family who can button a size 4 blouse. She sent me a sweet thank you note!
    Getting rid of stuff is difficult. Irwin has been decluttering the basement. If we went room by room, it would take for ever. But we should.

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  16. Pots and pans – therein lies my problem. The trouble is you need them. My son gave me a set of langostino pots for Christmas – but I liked my old pots. In the new set there is a small pot, a small-medium pot, 3 frying pans sized medium, large and extra-large, a steamer thingy to go over one of the pots and a semi giant pot. The old set had 2 small pots, 2 medium pots (slightly larger and more practical than the new one) and a large pot. I also have a medium stock pot (soups), a large stock pot (mostly jams/pickles) and a very large thick based stock pot. All are needed and have to be stored. Then the frying pans – all smaller than the new ones, because they are Teflon, and super good for eggs. There are 3 lobster pots in the garage, and a turkey pot.
    I broke down and moved my old pots next door to go the Superfluity. Thank heavens, I am slow at going to town, as I keep having to go and get the old pots, as they are much more practical. Now the dilemma is whether to send them or not, or shall we build on a new section on the house just for pots.

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    1. That’s what John says when I tell him we have too much stuff. He says let’s get a bigger house!

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  17. I found the answer to clutter and it is this: move! My changed mobility caused us to give up our 2-story house. Our move to a 2-bedroom condo meant lots of purging. As we went through everything we owned, I was astonished to come across so very many things I didn’t even remember owning. It was great - each of the kids received their box of school “memories” to do with as they wished. I kept a few toys for the grandkids’ visits. We made endless trips to Goodwill and St. Vinnie’s, and it was such a good feeling to know that someone else could use this stuff. We discovered that we loved living a little more lightly encumbered, and have maintained that state for almost 20 years now. As an added advantage, it’s so much easier to find stuff!

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  18. I hate cleaning out closets and drawers! I spent a month cleaning out my parents’ home after my mom died 5 years ago and I still haven’t recovered. I do have regrets over some or the stuff we got rid of. I know I desperately need to get rid of stuff in my own home, but it sorta makes me feel ill just thinking about it.

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    1. Oh my, I went through that 5 years ago too, when my mother passed. Shipped so much stuff cross country to my house! My sister and I went through 2 boxes of pictures and memories this fall. We threw away her diplomas, pictures of colleagues but not family. It was heartbreaking but needed to be done. Thank goodness I am in CA with no basement!

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  19. We decided to declutter so our children won't have to. There is a lot of emotional baggage to going through 50+ years of stuff. Taking pictures of items that have a history but are no longer wanted is one way to keep the memories.
    Slowly we go through every room, closet by closet and drawer by drawer and if it isn't wanted by any of our family, is broken, hasn't been used in years out it goes. Books go to the library for their sales, clothes and household items go to charity. Broken items get thrown out. It is actually very satisfying to trim down on our possessions and open up spaces in our house.

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    1. We have discarded many books. And I do go through clothes. John won’t part with anything. Eight pairs of back shoes that he doesn’t wear kept because he might wear them someday!

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  20. I recently took advantage of REI’s Re/Supply program to trade in some items that I didn’t love or that don’t fit anymore. I think I took in about two dozen items and got more than $200. Hopefully that will give somebody a chance to get another of their favorite whatever that isn’t produced anymore. Once I started, it was pretty addictive and that allowed me to be pretty ruthless.

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    1. Hmmm, I have been a REI member for over 30 years. Seattle would have a big REI store. Maybe I can take some lightly used items to trade in.

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    2. I didn’t know that! Looking into it

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    3. You can also do it by mail if there isn’t a store nearby.

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  21. For me it was important to have the mindset that de-cliuttering isn't something you start on a Sat morning and end on Sunday evening. No! At best, it is a year(s) long endeavor. Every so often I will assign myself a room or closet to clean out and do it. Then I might take a break for a month or so and tackle another room, closet, etc. Sometimes I'll just do a few cabinets in the kitchen while I'm listening to the radio.

    The best way to tackle clutter is to hire an organizer. It really forces you to deal with what to keep and what to give away.

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    1. Oh I’d hate someone else telling me what to throw away!

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    2. Rhys, a friend dubbed mine “Ruthless Randi”… but she was just what I needed. Why was I still keeping so much stuff that I couldn’t see?? Out it went…donate or toss with very efficient professionals. And 3 years later, I’ve yet to miss any of it! Elisabeth

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  22. Paula B here ~ Can’t figure out anonymous thing so I’ll just add my name. So, clearing out. Yes, it’s that time of year for me to organize, purge, donate, pitch and find delight in the finds! Back in the day I had a friend who had a spare room. (Sigh). She was so organized that she even had part of it divided by seasons and as each season arrived, she switched her house decorations. I was in awe. I haven’t ever been able to go beyond the Christmas decoration box. My style is now one of if I love it, I want to see it. If I love it, I want to be delighted to find it. I think I’m getting closer to my friend in that I do switch things around for a better view. Not strictly BOHO because some of that style is not me but some of it is. Like all the colors and textures. I enjoy seeing my favorites. Hmm, time to switch up again? Now where to put it . . . .

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    1. I know people who decorate for seasons, Pat. Not me. I love my Christmas decorations but that’s enough

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  23. I never decluttered - ever - I had a room of floor to ceiling book shelves triple shelved - I had clothes from my college days - shoes from various incarnations of my style sense - you get the picture. It all followed me everywhere. Then I met my husband and realized I was an amateur. He had stuff from his childhood - like his boy scout leatherworks and ALL the tools needed to construct them. Somehow we found space for it all, although I admit, it did take the sacrifice of a two car garage.

    Then we moved from Florida to Maine. The moving van was full, but it was right after Hurricane Wilma. Rather than do a direct haul from South Florida to Northern Maine, the movers put our items in storage for a week or so while they did short hauls for people who needed to move the contents of their homes pending reconstruction. Wilma was a nasty storm. When our goods made it to Maine I discovered multiple boxes did not make it with the truck. I had one box of books, two of clothes, several kitchen boxes. After an initial mourning period, I realized I didn't miss 99.9% of what didn't show up! It was a revelation. Since then I only buy what I use (Kindle books excepted) and donate anything I haven't used when I do my spring clean. I feel lighter, but I do miss my 1970s clothing. It would be vintage now.

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    1. I regret having thrown out my 70 s stuff. It was fun

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    2. I wouldn't fit my seventies clothes! Except one shirt from Japan that I love and can still wear over a lightweight shirt underneath.

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  24. I discovered a local community organization which distributes clothing free to those in need. But, the clothing bank will take stuff to Goodwill if they get more in donations than they have room to store. There is also an Angel's Closet, sponsored by a local church--but they don't accept shoes. My grandnephew outgrew several pairs of shoes before they even showed wear--I don't want to toss them. Getting rid of stuff becomes a continual search for good places to donate. Habitat for Humanity has a ReStore--that's a great place to get rid of household items, building supplies you don't need, etc.

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  25. I should add that my house is Arizona where we usually spend our winters is wonderfully clutter free! Loads of good storage. Walk in closets and we only have what we need! Brilliant

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    1. This “only what I need” happened when I moved from a 1500 sq ft condo w/ garage to a 900 sq ft condo w/ a generous sized storage locker … just enough room to store household supplies and Christmas decorations. Yes, Rhys, just brilliant! Elisabeth Continue to heal. :)

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  26. From Celia: Rhys, your list of what you had as a child mirrors my memories. Though I was 4 when we went to Trinidad and probably only had dresses or shorts. I know my mum made all my clothes, and my sisters and brothers clothes too when they came along. In fact I can only remember one purchased party dress with a broiderie anglaise bodice under which I needed a slip. I felt very adult in it! But as to decluttering, it's great to read all the posts. I also know what a burden it can be as I have worked with folk who have boxed themselves into tiny living spaces while the rest of their accommodation is filled high with stuff. It's a hard road to walk and walk with someone who needs help but! As for us, well moving to Maine 23 years ago got rid of lots of stuff, and now I find we need to do the same again. I have been lazy and ignoring the basement but the time is here and already started on paper, my nemesis. Though I should say that my beloved never received a mailed piece of paper he didn't glom on to and I know there are still bills etc from our NY life lurking in the filing system. As for clothes, I'm working on the some in some out system and for the rest of it - I find asking if the object gives me joy or not does help me. And don't forget there are professionals out there who can help. Judy or I could put anyone in touch with someone in their area should they want to explore that option.

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    1. Celia— John saves every piece of correspondence with the water board, even prints out his emails! What is it with these old men?

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    2. From Celia: Rhys, I wish I knew. For a man who spent most of his career at IBM, he was still devoted to paper. Now as you probably know I'm in charge! I have adopted Olivia's paper system. Through the year anything and everything she thinks she may need goes into a container. At tax time she sorts and keeps only what is really needed. The rest is shredded. I am building my new system that way too. But I am not turning out the books that you manage to write, not to mention publicity etc. etc. You are a very busy woman. Still we were raised to soldier on weren't we.

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  27. When you're married it takes two to tango to seriously declutter. And my tango partner isn't cooperating. I have what I need, and some I don't need, in Virginia. However, the specter of what Frank has stored in the garage of his rental house in Texas, plus his storage containers on his acreage, haunt me. When he is here, he goes out and buys things he likes to have around to use. Like little bowls for snacks, bigger bowls for whatever, little glasses for wine, etc. etc. Which drives me nuts. I've told him bring those with you if you can't live without them, but don't buy more to clutter up this house!

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  28. I don't declutter. I need to, but I live alone and have no motivation, especially when I have a good book calling my name. It is getting to be too much, but I still don't do it.

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  29. I encourage the niblings to shop at "Aunt Mary's Emporium" and visit "The Room of Requirement" when they need things, and often they find useful items at no cost. I also give some books to the library when I can bear to. I don't toss, but will donate, recycle, and reuse. I do mend favorite clothes, comfortable cottons with no latex, spandex, or elastic, which are getting harder to find. The newest toddlers are now fascinated by toys their parents and grandparent once played with at my house, so it's good I kept them.

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  30. Oh, I live for pitching things! I am a minimalist married to a non-minimalist (sigh). My January project has been to go through all of the photos (25 years worth in my Shutterfly account and delete, delete, delete and save the ones worth keeping to a flash drive which I load onto my e-frame which sits in the corner of the kitchen. I'm already up through 2015 and when the Hooligans stop by they are riveted and admit that they had an amazing childhood. You're welcome! Hub and I enjoy watching the highlight reel of our lives, too. Besides what is the point of taking pictures if you never look at them?

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    1. Jenn, what’s an e-frame? — Pat S

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    2. My uncle (my mother's only sibling with no children) sent me a box of pictures he had already purged. I promised to scan early this year and share. I best be getting to that!

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  31. We recently had a Verizon tech come to our home to upgrade our set top box. Doesn't everyone super clean when they are expecting company? So, things that had been neglected on the first floor of our home began to come under intense scrutiny. Decluttering, dusting, cleaning floors and wall and windows. Finally, I put away all Christmas stuff except the winter and Valentine's Day decorations. At that point, I really started to see things differently. The Verizon Tech was great and commented about customers who cringed if any dust was visible during a visit! While the deep cleaning on the first floor is done, now I am moving my pile of TBR books that are cluttering a corner of my kitchen and my living room. Then, moving my pile of cookbooks and recipe binders into my home office. That will happen when I make available a shelf or two that just has a bunch of junk. The second floor with five bedrooms, furniture and closets will be next although that will be a more formidable challenge!

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  32. As I commented above, we are trying to clean out our storage units (yes, plural). We started with our own “extra” stuff and then my dad died and we moved my mom closer to us so stored some of her stuff. Not sure what the goal was in doing that beyond making her feel better since she moved from a house to a one bedroom apartment. She died 16 months after my dad so her stuff - and my childhood stuff that came from their house when we cleaned it out to sell it - all have sat in storage for two decades!!! So now we are cleaning out a bunch of four people’s stuff. And then there’s our own house… It’s a daunting task. My mother vowed after cleaning out her mother’s apartment that she wouldn’t do that to my sister and I. Well, she did and so did my in-laws; thus our decision to get rid of as much as we can so we aren’t burdening our son. — Pat S

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  33. I live in an apartment. A very spacious one, especially for only the two of us, but with no closet (we have European-style wooden wardrobes), basement, attic, or garage, it's hard to have too much clutter. On top of that, three years ago, I bravely got rid of half my books, fiction and non-fiction. I looked at each one and asked myself, "Is there a chance that I will ever reread this or look something up in it?" Sometimes I said no and still kept the book for no rational reason, but I managed to get rid of hundreds! They were donated to various libraries or secondhand stores or, if no one would take them, put in the paper recycling bin. I felt great afterward, and I've never regretted it. Lots more space in the living room, too!

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  34. Oh, I feel this issue so hard! Here I am, one woman in a four bedroom house and it feels like everything, top to bottom, is stuffed to the gills. And don't even get me started on the barn. I suspect I need to stop thinking of it as a monumental project and just break down one room into multiple small tasks. Because otherwise, it's VERY tempting to leave it for my heirs...

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  35. Here is my uncluttering process: sign up for Joshua Beck’s online 11 week course, anticipate week one instructions; week one instructions arrive and it’s full of good tips on really thinking about your why, envision the universe that would open up to you if you unclutter; write down these thoughts and get ready to take action in week 2; await week two instructions; week 2 email arrives…start to declutter; get distracted with other life things about half way through the week but no worries you can catch up in week 3; week three arrives but somehow you can’t even bring yourself to open that email….fast forward to week 11 email; spend time on the group FB page to admire all the decluttering accomplishments

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    1. but wait…Joshua sends another email that exposes that some of us may (shocker) NOT have finished the entirety of the course! He says just click here to re-register again (for free if you paid once) so that all your decluttering dreams can come true in the next round! Yay! I am on my 3rd or 4th round of this course!!! One of these days I’ll make it through to week 11 (or even week 3 would be nice!). LOL!

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