Bummer Bummer Bummer!

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN; Yes, I am a writer, but  right here, right now, I will admit defeat. 

Having to describe Ann Garvin is impossible. Impossible! 

When you walk into a room of people, and hear the laughter, that’s where Ann Garvin is. When you walk to a classroom and hear the students applaud, that’s where Ann Garvin is. When you walk into a bookstore and every seat at the event is taken, that’s an Ann Garvin event. If you are a person who needs a kind word, or guidance, or a new sense of direction, or empowerment, or just a place to vent, Ann Garvin, is your girl. She is the dearest friend, the most joyful confidante, the most talented author, an absolutely life-changing, gloriously marvelous inspiration for us all.  

Her newest book, BUMMER CAMP,  is out today!  And just from the brilliant title you know it’s fantastic and hilarious.

Ann is the founder and heart and genius behind the iconic and unmatched Tall Poppy Writers. Which you should know about. 

And she has had some interesting experiences. One of which is below. And read on for the giveaway! 

Six Million Views and Nobody Called

   By Ann Garvin

 

I published an essay on ageism and dating, and it went viral with Six Million interactions on X/twitter. I'm not bragging; I was and am still stunned by it. I usually get a solid 10 likes on a really good day, so this was an extraordinary moment in an otherwise ho-hum social media life.

 

To get my head around the idea of six million interactions, I Googled, What country has six million people living in it? Apparently, Denmark is that country, but I can't say that it helped me all that much. I tried to picture Denmark, home of the Little Mermaid, the term Hygge, and bicycles galore, but six million Danish people--I couldn't imagine it.

 

You hear about articles going viral. It always seems a bit like watching someone win a Powerball lottery. They get the car they always wanted, go on a vacation, and if there's something unusual about them, they end up on The Today Show or at least Late Night with Seth Meyers. I thought about what I might say to Seth, Jenna and Hoda. I wondered what I would wear if I had the right shoes, if I should buy something glittery or stay on brand and go in my favorite Gap jeans. I'm a writer, they won't expect false lashes, will they?

 

I wanted to tell someone who might be impressed. My friends barely register social media as something other than a waste of time.

 

I knew they would say something like, "Oh, I took all those sites off my phone. That's nice. Are you still writing that same book or are you on to another one?"

 

I don't blame them.  Writing as a career can feel very hard to understand in terms of publication dates and editing that goes on forever.

 

That left my kids. They'll understand, I thought,  and will be in awe of their mother, who has done what so many kids on TikTok have done.

I sent my daughter this text.

 

Me: I'm currently going viral on X/Twitter for that essay I wrote about dating and ageism.

Meg: Hiii, is it OK if I call you back later tonight or tomorrow? I haven't had alone time in ages, and I'm just decompressing.

Me: OK. Good for you.

 

I blinked and thought, no problem. I have another daughter.

 

Me: Hey Juls. I'm going viral. Six million views. It's incredible.

Julie: Slay.

Me: Slay.

 

If there's one thing you can count on, it's your kids to keep you humble.

 

Secretly, I thought that someone would surely see my virality and contact me with an opportunity of some sort. An interview request from Kelly Clarkson, Wisconsin Public Radio, or a coupon for two for one chicken breast at Festival Foods.

 

I'll break the suspense and tell you what did happen. I got three emails from men asking if I'd like to date them. I got a lot; approximately one thousand people saying they liked my essay and that it was great that I wrote it. I sold nineteen books, got a cramp in my re-fresh finger, and went to bed early. 

 

After I pulled my head out of the over-expectant clouds, I realized what had happened was wonderful. So many people read my work and interacted with me, and that was enough. More than enough. Something few writers ever achieve, and I feel so incredibly lucky to have had that out of the clear-blue-sky moment. I didn’t buy a glittery dress. I didn’t have to shave my legs for television, and I was reminded yet again, that readers is what I long for– and when they show up it feels like a party just for me.

 

HANK: Ohhh….what a story! Ahhhh. I love it and I hate it. It’s hilarious and terrible. And all of you MUST read the essay, it’s your assignment for the day! 

But Ann is now in full promo mode–and to that end, she’s offering a giveaway! One lucky commenter will win a copy of BUMMER CAMP! Whoo hoo.

Just tell us: did you go to summer camp? What ONE thing do you remember about it? And if you didn’t go, did you want to? 

And we’ll announce the winner later this week!

BUMMER CAMP 

Two sisters scramble to save their family’s legacy in a funny, huge-hearted novel about grandiose plans and summers to remember by the author of I Thought You Said This Would Work.

Cat McCarthy has spent years extricating herself from the family business―an increasingly run-down theater camp―and all the drama contained within it. At thirty-seven, she’s putting the final touches on a new life as she renovates her dream cottage and awaits her first child. Does it worry her that the McCarthy legacy is in the hands of her disastrously irresponsible sister, Ginger? Sure. But the camp’s not Cat’s problem anymore.

Then a series of frantic text messages pulls Cat back to center stage. Ginger has handed the reins to a crackpot motivational speaker, Bob Durand, and his scheming wife, Elaine. The couple’s plan to rebrand the camp as a “rehab” for anxious adults has nearly bankrupted the McCarthys. And now the Durands have skipped town days before investors arrive for a fundraising gala that could determine the camp’s future.

As Cat and Ginger wrangle a cast of lovable misfits and underdogs to save the camp, the sisters rediscover the importance of family, belonging, and holding fast to sweet summer memories.

Ann Garvin, PhD, is the USA Today bestselling author of There’s No Coming Back From This, I Thought You Said This Would Work, I Like You Just Fine When You’re Not Around, and other funny and sad novels about people who do too much, in a world that asks too much from them. Ann teaches in the low-residency master of fine arts program at Drexel University and lives in Wisconsin with her anxious and overly protective dog, Peanut. She is the founder of the Tall Poppy Writers and is dedicated to helping authors find readers and vice versa. For more information, visit www.anngarvin.com.

Cinderella Under Pressure

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: Happiest day after pub day to the brilliant iconic and fabulous whirlwind that is Ann Garvin. She is absolutely fabulous you all, generous and wise and I'm just not sure how she does it. You can read her bio below, but she is the queen of the Tall Poppies, and I am honored to be her colleague. She simply leaves joy and magic dust wherever she goes. And when she reads this—I’ll bet she’ll say "Oh that’s just dust, honey."

 

Her new novel, THERE’S NO COMING BACK FROM THIS came out yesterday!

And it is already the Number One best seller in friendship fiction. And that is not only cause for celebration, but profound.  She is a number one perfect friend.

 

Cinderella Under Pressure

   By Ann Garvin

 

I write books about women who do too much in a world that asks too much from them, and I saw one of these women just the other day.

 

The woman I am thinking of was at a gas station, responding with incredible grace and dignity while under great duress. After filling her tank, this woman saw that she’d locked herself out of her car with her small child inside. She didn’t shout for help or make a scene.

I noticed her because I am not a dignified person when stressed. I’m a flustered crier who talks to strangers when things go wrong.

 

It was a nice day, there were not many people around, and she solved her problem with a placid look on her face and some fairly impressive flexibility.

 

While I stood, nozzle in hand trying to figure out which button to push or pull for gas, she moved to the trunk of a beautiful SUV, where a thick film of plastic wrap covered her back window. Presumedly, she’d been in an accident, and fresh cellophane functioned as a back window for a time. She pulled the plastic apart with zero fanfare, no grumbling, and a lot of strength. I considered offering to help, but she didn’t look like she needed it. Besides I was still trying to get my pump to take my credit card.

 

Once the plastic was yanked free, she began climbing onto the bumper and easing herself inside. She had to clear the back seat headrests, slither her whole body through the window and slide from the back seat over the dividers to the front seat. All while her child slept soundly.

 

Once inside the car, she checked on the baby, kissed the little one on the forehead then drove off. I checked around. I’d been the only one to witness this athletic, motherly feat, but the woman left a memento on the pavement, without so much as a look over her shoulder. There on the stained concrete I saw one brand new, white and blue Nike tennis shoe on the ground. This Cinderella must have kicked it off during the exertion of getting into the car.

 

Maybe she wasn’t as unstressed as she appeared. Maybe she was in a terrible hurry. Maybe, she was too embarrassed to walk partially barefoot across the stained pavement to collect her shoe. I’ll never know, but I wish I could have told her, Never, never, ever be chagrinned about anything when you can display this kind of grace under pressure.

 

This is the kind of person I want on my side when the world ends and precisely the kind of person I write about. Women are amazing. I’m sure you know this already, but I’m writing to remind you.

 

My newest book is right here if you want to read about another person who learns how to pivot with a little more grace. It’s called There’s No Coming Back From This and the Kindle version is available, too.

 

I’d love to hear about a time when you were graceful under pressure. It will give me something to work for!

 

 

HANK: Aww. Love to hear your stories, you all. And yay, Ann! You have done it again.

And reds and Readers, do sign up for her newsletter, it's entertaining and touching and revealing!

Ann Garvin, Ph.D., is the USA Today Bestselling author of five funny and sad novels. She writes about people who do too much in a world that asks too much from them. Her most recent book, There's No Coming Back From This, releases August 1, 2023. After twenty-five years of teaching in the UW system, Ann runs the professional development residencies at Drexel University’s Low-Residency Masters of Fine Arts Program. She is the founder of the multiple award-winning Tall Poppy Writers, where she is committed to helping women writers succeed.

THERE'S NO COMING BACK FROM THIS

“The show must go on” takes on a whole new meaning for one single mom in a

witty and emotional novel by the USA Today bestselling author of I Thought You Said This Would Work.

It seems lately that Poppy Lively is invisible to everyone but the IRS.

After her accountant absconded with her life savings, newly bankrupt Poppy is on the verge of losing her home when an old flame, now a hotshot producer, gives her a surprising way out: a job in costumes on a Hollywood film set. It’s a bold move to pack her bags, keep secrets from her daughter, and head to Los Angeles, but Poppy's a capable person—how hard can a job in wardrobe be? It's not like she has a choice; her life couldn't get any worse. Even so, this midwesterner has a lot to learn about the fast and loose world of movie stars, iconic costumes, and back-lot intrigue.

As a single mom, she's rarely had time for watching movies, she doesn't sew, and she doesn't know a thing about dressing the biggest names in the business. Floundering and overlooked, Poppy has one ally: Allen Carol, an ill-tempered movie star taken with Poppy’s unfiltered candor and general indifference to stardom.

When Poppy stumbles upon corruption, she relies on everyone underestimating her to discover who’s at the center of it, a revelation that shakes her belief in humanity. What she thought was a way to secure a future for her daughter becomes a spotlight illuminating the facts: Poppy is out of her league among the divas of Tinseltown.

Poppy must decide whether to keep her mouth shut, as she's always done, or with the help of a scruffy dog, show the moviemakers that they need her unglamorous ways, whether the superstars like it or not.