The piece prompted quite a few counter-essays, and Twitter blew up, with the most common reaction being a variation of "I've got one hand in my pocket, and the other one is flipping you off." It also got a lot of people quoting from author Jo Walton's 2010 essay, "The Suck Fairy." Here's her definition of this extremely useful concept:
The Suck Fairy is an artifact of re-reading. If you read a book for the first time and it sucks, it’s nothing to do with her. It just sucks. Some books do. The Suck Fairy comes in when you come back to a book that you liked when you read it before, and on re-reading—well, it sucks. You can say that you have changed, you can hit your forehead dramatically and ask yourself how you could possibly have missed the suckiness the first time—or you can say that the Suck Fairy has been through while the book was sitting on the shelf and inserted the suck.
We can all instantly recognize the truth of this. Books, movies, food, places - all can be visited by the Suck Fairy. When I was a
kid, we had a special meal reserved for nights my parents were going out - Kraft Mac 'n Cheese and fried Spam. I LOVED that meal. Not only was it tasty, but the babysitter would let me read at the table while eating, which my parents would never do. Then we moved, (and moved, and moved), I grew up, and I went for a decade and a half without eating fried Spam. Finally, as an adult in my own apartment, I prepared the delicious dish for my boyfriend, Ross. His mother had basically cooked with cans of soup and frozen food, so he was up for anything. I fried up the Spam, plated the Mac n Cheese and... discovered my tastes had dramatically changed since I was ten. Everything was too salty, the Spam had a weird texture, the joy and excitement of the meal was missing. I had spent the past two years in grad school, reading while eating because I had to to get everything done; the magic was gone.The Suck Fairy had gotten to my dinner.
Sometimes it's the world that has changed, not us. I found this out when reading the Little House books aloud to Youngest. Just as I had when I was a girl, she loved the adventures of Laura, and thrilled to the descriptions of the vast woods, the great prairie, the blizzards and the trips to town. Meanwhile, I was horrified to realize 1. Ma was working like a DOG twelve hours a day or more (seriously, read the description of making cheese and your knees and hands will begin to hurt vicariously.) 2. Pa was breaking federal law and violating treaties with Indian nations to steal land for himself and 3. the books are flat-out racist in their descriptions of Indians. The Suck Fairy strikes again!
Amusement parks, TV shows of my childhood, movies I thought were funny but turn out to be one long "joke" about being stoned...there are many, many things that don't stand the test of time. How about you, Reds? What are the books or movies or experiences has the Suck Fairy ruined for you?
HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: Beefaroni. I used to love it! Love! Now it's...orange. Frozen orange juice--used to be such a treat. Now--weird. Who would drink that? Nancy Drew books, goes without saying. But I hold on to the result of the books, not the books. (You know what, though? Friends is still funny. And Seinfeld.) Do you think Raising Arizona would still be funny? I'm afraid to watch it. Oh, I wonder about Big Macs, too. Again, afraid for so many reasons.
LUCY BURDETTE: Canned tamales. The kind with orange congealed fat on top when you open the can. I would scrape that stuff out and then eat the rest myself. Ick. Boboli pizza crust. Frozen pot pies. Rice-a-roni. Mac and Cheese in a box. All of that is no more. Oh, and I insisted to John and my sister and Brother-in-law that The In-laws with Peter Falk was the funniest movie ever ever ever. I made them watch it this fall and guess what? Hardly a chuckle. Bummer.
DEBORAH CROMBIE: Vienna sausages. My friend and I used to pretend-camp with cans of Vienna sausage and a box of Triscuits. We loved them!! Now, I shudder to think. What is in those things??? Hostess Twinkies. Nuff said. Julia, my special treat when my parents were out or traveling was eating Swanson's Chicken Pot pies in front of the TV with my grandmother. I could still eat a chicken pot pie in a pinch, but they are awfully salty. And gummy. I'm afraid the thrill is gone.
The Bobbsey Twins. Ack. Racist. Sexist. Not that the newer PC versions were an improvement.And recently I've been reading Beatrix Potter's The Tale of Peter Rabbit to my granddaughter, who finds it fascinating. But I'm thinking it's a little...creepy. And it really makes me want to put those good-girl bunnies in a pie.
HALLIE EPHRON: I LOVED those canned tamales. But back in the day, Mexican food hadn't become a thing in my neck of the woods. And I'm here to tell you, Big Macs are still delicious. With extra pickles. Also still amazing are potato chips with sour cream and onion soup mix dip.
The things I used to love but can no longer face except under duress? Fruit cocktail. Cheetohs (speaking of orange). Campbells vegetable soup – “alphabet soup.” Red Jell-O. My after-school snack was Ritz crackers schmeered with peanut butter. I grew up loving what we called "mushroom potatoes" -- basically scalloped potatoes drowned in a can of condensed cream of mushroom soup. I made it the other day and it was... delicious.
JENN McKINLAY: Does blue eye shadow count? Because I loved me some deep blue and metallics pink eye shadow in the 80's. I also used to love shopping malls and now I don't hate them so much as can't find my way out and so avoid them. Otherwise, I have to say my inner child is still pretty much large and in charge and I still love all the goofy stuff of my misspent youth.RHYS BOWEN: When I was a new bride older women were always giving me recipes that contained cream of chicken soup, cream of mushroom soup, Kool Whip and Jello. They were actually pretty tasty (not so much the jello with fruit and marshmallows in it).
But recent disappointments include watching Rudolph on TV. Everyone is so horrid to a kid because he is different. What sort of message is that? They only love him because he saves Christmas! And also Mary Stewart books used to be my favorites but when I've re-read recently I've been horrified at the holes in the plot. She creates such a good atmosphere that I didn't notice them before.JULIA: How about you, dear readers? Has the Suck Fairy been rummaging through your childhood memories as well?
