Jungle Red Writers: Kermit the Frog

Sunday, August 30, 2015

Fragrances of the stars... Preciousssss

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HALLIE EPHRON: A subplot in NIGHT NIGHT, SLEEP TIGHT involves a hush-hush new perfume being developed and branded for Elenor “Bunny” Nichol, a still gorgeous but past her prime movie star.

As I was researching perfumes launched by movie stars, I discovered that post-Dynasty Joan Collins launched I AM WOMAN (musk, citrus). Givenchy supposedly made L’INTERDIT (woody, floral) for Audrey Hepburn. Coty created the spicy

SOPHIA scent for Sophia Loren. And Elizabeth Taylor went for the Trifecta with WHITE DIAMONDS (candy sweet), BLACK PEARLS (soft powdery, floral), and VIOLET EYES (rose, citrus).

Taking a cue from Violet Eyes, I named Bunny’s scent CERULEAN – the color of my character’s legendary eyes.

And I made up this TV commercial for it.

Violins, piano, and finally an accordion swell to a tango rhythm. A tall, slender man dressed all in black moves slowly away from the camera toward Bunny, takes her in his arms, twirls her once, twice, then bends her backward. Dissolve to a close-up of Bunny raising a bottle of Cerulean as if in a champagne toast, arching her head back and spraying her neck with the perfume. In smoke, words write themselves out on the screen in front of her.

Because

you’re a woman

“Cerulean,” Bunny’s voice whispered as the words disintegrate in a skim of mist that slowly dissipated to reveal a bottle of the perfume.

I was tickled when I saw an ad for ENGAGE, a men’s fragrance with (be still my beating heart) Jean Luc/Patrick Stewart shilling for it. Sadly it's a parody because I was ready to punch the replicator and order a bottle.

But it got me thinking about what men’s fragrances I’d like to see and the stars who’d promote them:

Lucky - Clint Eastwood

Iron – Arnold Schwarzenegger

Shaken – Sean Connery

D’oh – Homer Simpson
Green – Kermit the Frog