Secret Longings

Twas the day after Christmas
We're off in the car.
Returning gifts we travel afar...

RHYS BOWEN: I'm not going to ask how many of us are taking stuff back to the store. Instead I want to know what was the one gift you really really longed for and didn't get. If you'd had the chance to whisper in Santa's ear what would you have wished for? Neiman Marcus catalog kind of stuff. The best gift ever. Money no object.(and it can't be world peace or freedom from hunger, because we all want that and even Neiman Marcus doesn't have the power to grant it)

I started gaily on this topic and now I'm finding it hard to come up with an answer because I don't really lust after material things. I'm happy driving my Camry and don't need a Lexus under the tree. If I had a huge diamond I'd only worry about dropping it down the bathroom sink. (I did that to a sapphire).

A few years ago it might have been a date with Robert Redford. But now he's looking a little worn. One thing I've always wanted was to land a 747. To make that giant bird touch down gently would be so cool.
And I'd like a luxury safari... a house on an island in the Caribbean maybe?
So how about you, dear JRW sisters? Secret longings please.

ROSEMARY HARRIS: Okay, this is a trick question because if we SAY something we're shallow, but if we say we have all we need we're smarmy. So I'll go first and be shallow - then the rest of you will sound more highly evolved.

I went to a fabulous dinner party last week (Ladies only.) Among other things the hostess had a giving tree from which we all plucked watches or bracelets. But it wasn't just the opulence of the home (I would happily live in her kitchen) or the event. There were two dining rooms set up and I chose to dine in her library. A wonderful book-lined room with a giant fireplace. Me like.

HANK PHILLIPI RYAN: Okay, I'll play. And I'm not evolved either, you've seen my closet. Anyway, you're going to be so surprised, because you know me, and you know I hate to drive and and I do not care about cars. At all. But the other day I saw a great looking car. I said to Jonathan: whoa. What kind of a car is that? And he said it was a Porsche Panamera.
:-)
FOlks, this is a VERY cool car. SO nice, I started singing a song about it. To the tune of Guantanamera. "Porsche Panamera, I want a Porsche Panamera....Porsche Panameeeeeraaa...we need a porsche panamera..."
We're not getting one. I think--well, how much do they cost?

JAN BROGAN - Oh Hank, please don't tell me there is another Porsche my husband is going to want. We have one, and I hate driving in it. And not because I'm evolved. But because it's too low to the ground and you feel the road. Which I guess is the point, since its a sports car, but I hate going fast. If I were going to long for a car, I'd long for one of those antique Bentley's or even a Model-T Ford. Something you only drive on Sundays and that you usually see parked at ice cream places.

HALLIE EPHRON: Hold the car. Don't need no boats. Can't tell the difference between really good champagne and a 12-dollar bottle. I'd lust after cashmere but it makes me itch. Expensive jewelry makes me nervous.

We're dreaming here, right? The one thing in this world that I would love love love to have is my pick, a print from the original elephant folio edition of Audobon's Birds of America. The Flamingo or the Gyrfalcon or Avocet or Arctic tern or America White Pelican.

LUCY BURDETTE: Rhys, ditto on the Robert Redford! Hallie, cannot believe you didn't say something about decadent comestibles...like here's some mail-order ham and bacon, recommended by my new friend Scott Haas, from whom you'll hear next week: Gatton Farms Bacon, found at http://www.fatherscountryhams.com You will salivate just reading about it.

But what I really, really, really want is to see AN APPETITE FOR MURDER on the New York Times extended bestseller list. Doesn't have to be the top twenty, that would be over the top.

JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: Lucy, every wish I made on the first star for a year before my last book came out was, "Please let it be on the New York Times list!" And it was! So get star-gazing, and I'm sure AN APPETITE FOR MURDER will do you proud as well.

As for my dream Christmas gift, it's that Ross and I could take an exotic, warm-weather, grown-ups-only getaway. I'd like to be in Barcelona and stay up eating and drinking til midnight, or see Carnival in Rio or go back to southern Africa for another safari. But with two kids still at home, any holiday we take is a family holiday, which can also be lovely except... with one in college, our funds only stretch as far as a weekend up the coast here in Maine.

Of course, I know this is something that can be solved with time. I just worry that by the time we've paid our last tuition bill, the only place we'll want to visit will be the Bide-a-Wee Rest Home!

DEBORAH CROMBIE: I'm with Lucy on the wishing for the New York Times Bestseller list!!! Hallie, cashmere makes me itch, too. Don't especially want a fancy car--I'm perfectly happy with my three-year-old Honda. And Rhys, I agree, Robert Redford is looking a bit worn.

But if we are going for real fantasy here, I'd like to have a Christmas in an English country cottage. With snow. And fairy lights. And a fire. And carols in the village church. Christmas pudding and long, cold walks across the fields with the dogs. With a nice cuppa or a wee dram waiting. (And no murders!)

RHYS: So who would like to share his or her secret longings? And who got exactly what they wanted for Christmas?

Catch the Lie

JAN: We know Peter Abrahams can pull off a fib. First, he convinced us he was Spencer Quinn, the author of the bestselling new mystery, Dog Gone It. And as Spencer Quinn, he managed to thoroughly convince us he was inside the canine mind, as Chet, the K-9 Academy dropout.

But can he fool us with his personal lies??Only one way to find out? Make him take the Jungle Red Quiz!

JR:Miss Marple or Hercule Poirot?

PA: Neither.

JR: Sex or violence?

PA:The former.

JR:Pizza or chocolate?

PA:The former again.

JR: Daniel Craig or Pierce Brosnan? Who makes the better Bond?

PA: Sean Connery

JR: Katherine Hepburn or Audrey Hepburn?

PA: They both drive me crazy.

JR: First person or Third Person?

PA: First..JR:Prologue or no prologue?

PA: Nope.

JR: Facebook or MySpace or Twitter?

PA: Facebook

JR: Your favorite non-mystery book?

PA: Crime and Punishment (certainly a crime novel, but not a mystery).

JR: Making dinner or making reservations?

PA: Making dinner.And now, of course, for your readers: The Jungle Red Quiz:Tell us four things about you that no one knows. Only three can be true. We'll guess

1. I drowned once.

2. I took a few points off Jimmy Connors.

3. I never cheated on a test or exam.

4. I had a phone conversation with a Manson family member.

Make your best guess, we'll get the truth out of Peter by the end of the day.

And if you want to know more about the storytelling Chet, himself, can come up with, check out http://www.chetthedog.com

On canine narrators

It was a mystery.

Who the heck was Spencer Quinn -- this Cape Cod author with a debut novel, Dog On It, that skyrocketed to the New York Times Bestsellers list, had ten overseas publication deals and the film rights sold? None other than New England's own, Peter Abrahams, the author of eighteen novels, including End of Story, Oblivion, and Lights Out, which was nominated for an Edgar best novel award. He also writes the best-selling Echo Falls series for younger readers.

JAN: I have to admit, when Hallie first started raving about this book, with the dog protagonist, I was skeptical. I didn't know about it making the New York Times Bestsellers list, but when Hallie figured out that you were the real author, I gave it a try. I absolutely loved it. I’ve been raving about it ever since. The brilliant thing about the book is the voice, how effectively you write from a dog’s point of view. Please tell us how you went about that?

Peter: First, I’m glad you liked the book, Jan. I’m a big admirer of your work, as I’m sure you know. As for the voice question, I guess from a technical standpoint we’re talking about writing with a limited narrator. I’ve messed around in that area before, but always in third-person close (Oblivion, for example, after Nick Petrov’s brain damage sets in.) With Chet I used first person, which I’d never done, by the way. Always good to try new things! But enough technical blah blah. The true answer is I sat down and started writing the thing and what happened happened. I’ve lived with lots of dogs during my life, and osmosis is one of a writer’s best friends.

JAN: There are obvious limitations to a dog’s experience, analysis he can’t make, and human events he can’t understand. These are all handled deftly, but I’m wondering were their any points in the plot where you worried the dog point of view wouldn’t work? Or any maneuvering you had to do, to keep in Chet’s voice? And with Chet’s unique doggy attitude?

Peter: In a way, writing a novel is all about maneuvering, isn’t it? I didn’t sense any more of that happening than usual. I liked the idea of setting a dog loose in a classic sort of P.I. story – it’s almost like playing a piece of music with a non-customary instrument. (Remember when Jimi Hendrix played the Star Spangled Banner with his electric guitar? That worked!) But what interested me most, and what I always kept my eye on, was the relationship between Chet and Bernie.



JAN: I love that Chet is not simply K-9 trained, which gives him some necessary skills in bad guy detection, but that he’s a K-9 Academy drop out. Did you do that to explain why he’s not working for the police force and adopted by Bernie, or was that to give him dimension, a dark past like a human drinking problem or divorce?

Peter: Both. I like to have one thing do two jobs, or even more. Call it paper-saving, my little contribution to the green movement.


JAN: The scenes I love the most are when Chet’s own explanation of events is interrupted by his lack of impulse control and the human scolding that follows. But what was your favorite part of writing Dog On It, or your favorite scene?

Peter: I was writing the beginning of Chapter 5, where Chet, Iggy and the she-barker all get going, when a couple of people stopped by my office. I read it aloud to them, and their reaction was very gratifying. I laughed a bit myself, like someone else had written it.

JAN: Yes, I actually read that part aloud to my husband, and we both laughed. Why did you write this under the name Spencer Quinn?

Peter: It was so different from my previous work that we wanted it to have a different label.

JAN: What’s up next? Do Bernie and his love interest Suzie have a future? And more importantly, will we hear more about the She-bark that tantalizes Chet from time to time?

Peter: All of that and more! At this point, we’re dealing with at least a 4-book series. #2, Thereby Hangs A Tail, comes out January 2010. (Also, there’s chetthedog.com with a new post every day. I’m trying out some things over there – it’s almost like an old-fashioned daily comic strip.)

Come back tomorrow when we ask Peter to take the Jungle Red Quiz and lie to us. And in the meantime, don't forget to go check out chetthedog.com, I'm on my way there, right now.