The Way We Were

Helllloooooo..

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN:  Going to the bank. Back in the day, I'd race over there, every Friday, with my such-as-it-was paycheck. Some weeks, it was literally beat-the-bank to make sure I got that money deposited before the bank debited my checks. Now? I hardly ever walk inside a bank--it's all electronic, with an occasional stop at the ATM. When I do go inside, it's weirdly empty, a vast marble room, with vaults and teller cages. Mostly empty. The banking ritual is history.

Like so many other things that used to be central to our lives, it's vanishing.

When was the last time you made frozen orange juice? You know, that you'd have to kind of thaw, before would goosh out into the pitcher? I thought about that the other day. Things we simply

don't do anymore, and happy to see that one go.

 I hardly ever watch TV shows when they're actually on. It used to be a ritual--Ed Sullivan on Sunday!  LA Law! Dallas.  Now its The Good Wife and Game of Thrones--but they're available whenever we want to watch them. The TV ritual is history.

But some rituals, although on the verge of being outmoded, are still valuable to me. How about reading the paper? The actual paper? Is still am so happy, especially Sunday mornings, when we can spread out with three newspapers and bagels and coffee and luxuriate for an hour or so. I would miss that, if it were all on a tablet. It's not the same. Reading the paper is a good ritual.

And getting the mail. I LOVE to get the mail. I look forward to it, almost as if there was going to be something other than bills (now mostly on line) and ads and weird coupon fliers and fifteen catalogs from Levenger. The "real mail" ritual is still a good one.

I still take notes on a legal pad instead of in a Word doc. Why? My producer teases me about being old-fashioned. But it works for me.

What vanishing rituals do you have? Which are you holding on to?

LUCY BURDETTE: Me too on the paper, Hank. We get the New York Times and the Key West Citizen every day. Online is just not the same...And the mail too, although it's less exciting than it used to be. (I mean, not so much good stuff comes in:). Too funny about Levenger! I bought one thing from them and it's been a deluge ever since.

Things that have gone by the wayside: Easter dinner. After the eggs were hunted and the Easter baskets were found, we'd put on our new dresses and hats and go off to church. Then my mother would cook a big dinner--often lamb roast, which I don't like anyway. These days I might make Easter brunch, but never dinner in the middle of the day.

HALLIE EPHRON: I go to my bank all the time, and you're right it's pretty empty. So how come does it seem like every time there's a new business being built on a corner somewhere, it's a bank?

Vanishing rituals, some I miss, some not so much...
- Going to the dry cleaner. I don't buy it if I can't wash it. Not something I miss.
- Going to the movies
- Going to the video store
- Going to the dump (it is no more)
- Making my own pie crust - I confess the ready made Pillsbury is pretty darned good
- Picking up the poop my neighbors' dogs deposit on the sidewalk

RHYS BOWEN: I still go to the bank. I think it's a good idea to have a relationship with a bank manager, just in case...

But how about getting shoes heeled? haven't done that in years. Dry cleaners occasionally, but I no longer buy things like slacks that need cleaning almost every time.

And dinner parties--who gives dinner parties these days. We do occasionally but we're sort of the only ones. Other couples invite us to meet them in restaurants. I still enjoy having friends and family around the table at home.

Writing thank you notes, on real cards? I try to for the big events. My grandkids phone to thank me, but don't write real letters the way I made my children.


And one thing I really regret--letting kids run wild all summer, out all day just playing, exploring,

making up their own games. Now it's play dates and camps and scheduled activities. I still treasure my free running summers.

DEBORAH CROMBIE: Oh, Rhys, that is so true about the kids' freedom. Summer was one long ritual when I was a child. You got up in the morning, you went outside and you played all day.  You just had to be in for supper. Where is there room for imagination in all those scheduled activities? But I suspect that's a subject for another day...

My vanishing rituals... Easter, certainly, as there are no little ones to do eggs and baskets for. And even when my daughter was growing up we'd pretty much abandoned the "new Easter dress and patent leather shoes" that were so essential in my childhood. This year my daughter and I decided we'd all go to Mi Cocina for our favorite Mexican food and sit on the patio. Suits me.

I have mixed feeling about the newspapers. I gave up print all together for about a year, and I really missed it. Lucy's right, it's just not the same online. So now I take the Dallas Morning News on Wednesday (the food section) and Sunday, and the New York Times Friday through Sunday. The problem is, I hardly ever have time to read a fraction of the things I want to read, so the unread piles of newspaper accumulate and make me feel both cluttered and nagged.

We've never been a family for Sunday dinners, but for years I've made Sunday brunch. Something we don't have during the week, like French toast or whole grain pancakes. But the last year or so even that seems to have fallen by the wayside. I always seem to have too much to catch up on to cook. We have kept up with our Sunday night homemade pizza ritual, however, something we've done for years.

Which brings me to TV.  I know it's great to be able to time-shift everything, but I do sort of miss the ritual TV nights. For us, it was The X-Files on Sunday (that was what started the Sunday-night pizza) and for me, ER on Thursday, without fail.

Now the DVRd TV shows are a bit like the piled up newspapers... more than I can manage.

JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: I've pretty much well and truly given up watching TV shows when they air.Why stay up and sit through ten minutes of commercials when I can watch when I want for the price of four 30-second ads? Also given up - not due to technology, but to age - dancing in clubs. I cannot remember the past time I went somewhere just to dance. Which is why I love weddings. I think more Bouchercons should have dances, like the one in Alaska did! 

Almost gone but not quite yet: my children's bedtime rituals. Overseeing tooth-brushing, saying prayers and singing a lullaby, coming back for one more drink of water... I still comb and braid Youngest's long hair before bedtime, and tuck her in and give her a blessing, but she'll be fourteen this August, and I know those moments will be over soon. Sigh.

HANK: Dear Julia, you always make me cry. Should we all dance at Bouchercon?
So Reds, when was the last time you...used rollers in your hair? Sat under a hair dryer? Made frozen OJ? Watched a show when it was actually on? What rituals and activities are vanishing from your life?
And one ritual we LOVE and face with crossed fingers--the arrival of a new book! I'll send an arc of TRUTH BE TOLD to one lucky commenter.

REDS THIS WEEK! 

Debs: is back from three weeks in London, recovering from jetlag, putting the finishing edits on To Dwell in Darkness, and plotting her next book.
Rhys: is vacationing on the continent
Hank: is celebrating, in week six on the Globe bestseller list for THE WRONG GIRL! and just won two Emmys for investigative reporting
Hallie: will be at the Milton Library tonight talking about summer reads for lovers of crime fiction
Julia: is splitting her time between working on the next Clare and Russ book, HID FROM OUR EYES, and hacking back several years of overgrowth in the forsythia border
Lucy: is sitting tight, writing 1000 word a day challenge with good pals S.W. Hubbard and Mike Cooper aka Mike Wiecek. More on what's coming next soon
Susan:  is coughing and watching Orange Is the New Black.  (She's under the weather..send good wishes!)

TOMORROW ON JUNGLE RED: Linda Fairstein!

ON--Then GONE. Weird TV!

 HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN:  I remember how TV used to be. A show was on, say, Ed Sullivan at 8 on Sunday, or LA LAW on--when was it? Whatever. It was on when it was on, and if you missed it, tough.

Then came video tape, and if you could figure out your machine, you could TAPE a show and watch it whenever you liked! It was amazing. When it worked. 

Then came On Demand, and Tivo, all brilliant and all fabulous, but it has so changed television so now no one knows when anything is on--and I wonder if that's why TV shows come and go so quickly. 

Did you see they just canceled the new Ironsides? I think it was on *once.* Once!   I mean--I MIGHT have watched it, if I'd had any idea when it was on, who knows. But, it was on. and then--gone. Because no one watched it--canceled.  Blam. Scary. Just--on, then gone.

Used to be , a show was on for a season, and might accumulate buzz and viewers and then managed to succeed. Word of mouth traveled more slowly, I guess, right? And that could save a show. Now word of mouth is instant, and that means a show's survival is on the chopping block the first moment it hits the air. Scary. 

Are you watching anything new these days? (Could you BELIEVE what happened on Homeland?) (How great is GAME OF

THRONES?) (And we binge-watched--new word!--HOUSE OF CARDS!)  We like Hostages, and um...hmm. I'm not sure there's anything else new on our TV agenda. How about you?  And did you get caught in any "on then gones"?

LUCY BURDETTE: I don't watch a whole lot of TV, but once in a while I get hooked. And then I'm DEVASTATED when the show is over. (Funnily enough, series books in publishing are in much the same dilemma, she said sadly.) I adored FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS. And now I'm totally gaga over

NASHVILLE. Luckily, we figured out how to use our DVR and so can catch up if we miss something...if we're at home. I have a sister-in-law who loves the show too, but did not realize the season had started. (What? I had it on my calendar all summer!) So now she's missed the first 3 episodes. And they have no DVR and she wouldn't begin to know how to use it...

"You can watch it online, on the network website. But you can't fast forward through the commercials," John tells her.

"Huh?" she says. 

Anyway, I'm going to pick up Homeland again and give it another try. The tension just got too much for me and I had to back off.

RHYS BOWEN: I also watch very little TV. I was hooked on Downton Abbey until they started killing off all my favorite characters. Now I'm not sure whether I'll watch next season or not. I am a big PBS fan and annoyed that so many English programs are min-series and don't go on and on. I adored Silk but it was only three episodes. I haven't been hooked on any US drama for a long while. So much negativity and violence. Where are the Waltons when you need them? Only The Amazing Race and Project Runway keep drawing me back.

ROSEMARY HARRIS: I LOVE TV. TV shows are a little like sports teams. They give you something to have in common with people. I just don't love too many shows. Does that make sense? 

I know what you're saying about what they used to call time-shifting. There used to be an almost community feel when on Friday morning you'd go into the office and everyone would be talking abut LA Law (or 30Something, Hill Street Blues.)  Or Monday mornings after the hot PBS show. I never Tivo'd or taped and I guess that was the beginning of - you're on your own, watch when you want. It must be driving the ratings and advertising people crazy.

I was made for binge-watching. Didn't watch Breaking Bad for 5 years until it was ALL OVER - and then I watched it all in one month. Awesome. I'm already watching Downton Abbey thanks to Tunnelbear and looking forward to House of Cards and Orange.  I still want Tony Soprano to be alive and I think Nancy Botwin should go back into the weed business.

HALLIE EPHRON: Yes, shows get killed very fast these days. I think it's something like 6 get shot, and then if it's well received they make more. And if ratings are good enough, they order a second season. Most shows don't even make it out of the starting gate.

I almost never watch a new TV show. I might notice when it goes into reruns if it's been a well received. We have a smart TV critic in the Boston Globe (Matthew Gilbert) and if he really likes something I might give it a try. But that shows you how out of date I am: I read the newspaper.

I do love THE GOOD WIFE - but I watch it on my computer. And lots of stuff on PBS -- Antiques Roadshow, most of the PBS crime

shows (love George Gently and Silk (will there be more?) and the one about the two British police detectives whose names I can never remember. I remember when American PBS tried to make their own mysteries and they were dreadful dreadful dreadful. The BBC really has the knack.

DEBORAH CROMBIE: My husband won't watch anything in real time--he binge-watches when shows become available streaming.  He's just caught up on Homeland but I haven't watched it. I do watch some "regular" TV, but I record shows on my DVR and if I watch on the night they air, I usually delay long enough so that I can fast forward through the commercials. But I'm still trying to catch up with shows from LAST season.  Sigh.  My DVR is 70% full.  Then if the satellite box goes dead, you lose it all.  That's happened before, and it was almost a relief.

As for new shows this season, I've watched one episode of Marvel's Agents of Shield (a bit silly, but fun) and one of The Blacklist, which I really liked.  James Spader is, as always, amazing, the dialogue is good, and best of all, Parminder Nagra has a top role. (Anyone remember Neela Rasgotra from ER?)

Which makes me think... I kind of miss the days when our Sunday nights revolved around The X-Files, and MY Thursday nights around ER...

Best new series from the UK this year (which you can watch streaming from Netflix)? The Fall, starring Gillian Anderson and an Irish actor named Jamie Dornan, who's just been picked to play Christian Grey in Fifty Shades of Grey.  (Not that I've read THAT!)

JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: Debs, you can admit your love for 50 Shades of Grey here. We won't judge.

I'm more like Hallie - I tend to wait until a show's been out for a season or two and then pick it up streaming. Not that I tend to marathon too much - though there was that time two summers ago when the Smithie and I sat down to watch the first WALKING DEAD episode at 9pm and didn't get up until 2am! Half the first season in one night. What I really like is the convenience of watching a show when I want to, especially since it always seems like the one show I'm interested in airs at 10:00pm.

Youngest, Ross and I are watching AGENTS OF SHIELD together and liking it very much. So far, it has a low ratio of dumb to good. I've become incredibly picky about the writing on a show, and if the dialog or plotting isn't up to par, I'll bail, even if the performances are great. One example: FALLING SKIES, which I was very excited about. I actually bought the first season when it came out on DVD on the strength of its reviews and was deeply disappointed to see one example after another of supposedly smart characters acting in a TSTL (too stupid to live) fashion just to ramp up the suspense. Which wasn't that ramped up because unlike WALKING DEAD, regular cast members never get killed. Terrific performances by Noah Wylie, Moon Bloodgood and Will Patton, though.

DEBS: Julia, I had the same experience with Falling Skies.  LOVE Noah Wylie.  Horrible writing. I think I made it through two episodes.  As for Agents of Shield, maybe I'll manage a catch-up on that this week.  Anything by Joss Whedon goes on my A-list.  Don't even get me started on Firefly!!!!

SUSAN ELIA MACNEAL: I  wasn't really interested in TV in my 20s. Mostly because I didn't have the money for a TV — and also because I just didn't think it was worth it. 

The day I broke down and bought my own set was during the 1994 Winter Olympics. Everyone was talking about figure skaters Nancy Kerrigan and Tonya Harding and I just had to watch them compete. I remember just going into Macy's, getting a really small set, and lugging it home on the subway. I was too broke for cable, so I put it by the window and wrapped tin foil on the antennas.

But even with a TV, I didn't watch that much. I remember doing grocery shopping on Thursdays, so-called "Must-See TV" night, because the stores would be empty and you could get everything done really fast. I did like the X-files though.

It was Joss Whedon's Buffy the Vampire Slayer that made me a TV addict. Tuesday nights , my boyfriend (and then husband) and I would sit down to watch at 8 and life would stop until it was over at 9. Ditto for Angel and Firefly.

We got into the DVR thing after we had a baby and our schedule was upside down. Hey, I could get up and nurse the baby at 2 a.m. AND still watch Grey's Anatomy! Now we're still pretty selective about shows and tend to DVR them. We used to be obsessed with Friday Night Lights. Current faves

are Breaking Bad (what a finale!), Game of Thrones, Girls, Scandal, Orange is the New Black, Homeland and House of Cards. Oh, and also the Golden Girls. Always the Golden Girls.

Now that my mother-in-law's living with us, I tape some "old-school" shows and we all watch them together as a family. The current house fave is 70s era Match Game—you know, the one with the orange set and Richard Dawson. It's so nice to see celebrities who actually still look like real people. Makes you realize how plastic surgery and cosmetic procedures have really changed our idea of what's "normal."

HANK: So how about you, Reds? What are  you watching? What do you miss? Any show you liked-- that disappeared? And do you time-shift?