HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: Once, on an airplane from Boston to California,
I watched five straight episodes of What Not To Wear. I only meant to watch ne,
but I was mesmerized. Riveted. Fascinated. I mean---Stacy and...what’s his
name?—were amazing. Brilliant. It was Cinderella come to life. It was
relatable. The women were thrilled
(after they got over being embarrassed.).
It was such a happy ending, every time.
So! What fun to have our own little version on Jungle Red
today. As Annette Dashofy—Agatha nominee Annette Dashofy!—takes us on her
journey to say yes! And she has a very critical question for you at the end.
The Quest for the Dress
By Annette Dashofy
But then I’m faced with what to write. There are so many big
issues out there today, but most depress the hell out of me. Or make me want to
bash heads. Not good since I’m trying to stay out of jail and the psych ward.
Some research, I’d rather avoid.
By the way, congratulations, Hank! I’m still in shock to be
nominated along side you, Margaret, Catriona, and Louise. I have to check the
Malice Domestic page every other day or so just to make sure I haven’t
hallucinated the whole thing.
Anyhow, last year, I already had a dress for the banquet
long before the nominations were announced. The big question was what SHOES to
wear with it. This year, I’m starting from scratch. Dress. Shoes. Accessories.
All of it.
My quest started online.
And of course the thing with
Facebook is once you look at one fancy dress on a store’s website, you receive
hundreds of ads for similar dresses on your page. Cyber window shopping!
For a chuckle, I started posting a few of the ones I liked.
Oh. My. My friends have very strong opinions about fashion. No black! No navy!
You need bright colors! Looks like a mother-of-the-bride dress!
(Well, yeah. It
is. They don’t label them Agatha Awards Banquet Dresses. Although I think they
should.)
I was told I should wear red.
No, green. Definitely that
blue one. No, hate the blue one.
It was so much fun! Like the fashionistas on the red carpet
picking apart J-Lo’s latest haute couture.
Entertainment value aside, I couldn’t select any of the
Nominees for Agatha Banquet Dress 2016 without first trying them on. With my
good gal pal Jessi Pizzurro in tow, we headed to the mall to buy The Dress.
I started with three that met my criteria. No plunging
necklines. Must have sleeves. Cocktail or tea length. Of those first three, one
was a maybe. Two were NO FRIGGIN’ WAY. I handed those out to my able assistant
who had wrangled several more. One was gown length. Another had a very low
neckline. I told her, no. She said, “Try
them on!”
“Yes, ma’am.”
This went on for close to two hours.
At some point, she brought me a navy blue number with a full
skirt, lots of fabric and a very low neckline. I said, “No!” She said, “Try it on!”
“Yes, ma’am.”
I tried it on. And I didn’t hate it. What I did hate was
that my friend and able assistant was totally right. The dress didn’t look like
much on the hanger, but it looked pretty darned cute on me!
Eventually we had it narrowed down to that one and two
others. My head was spinning, so we hid them on a rack near the fitting room
and went for a walk through the mall, just in case one of the other stores had
something I liked better. They didn’t. But while walking, my subconscious kept
fixating on that one dress that looked sort of okay on the hanger, but pretty
cute on me.
Yes, that’s the one I bought.
This is it.
It’s darker than it shows up in the photo. You’ll have to
wait for the Agathas to see it on me, though.
Which brings me to the next conundrum. Shoes! What do you
think? Navy? Silver? Beige? And accessories? I’m thinking pearls, but I’m open
to suggestions.
HANK: Oh, black shoes. (My answer to everything, though. No matter what the question.) And no necklace. Big earrings, instead. But that's just me. And I agree on one major thing: always try it on.
So, fashionistas—what’s the shoe verdict? And do you watch Project Runway? Say Yes to the Dress? Why--or why not?
**********************************
Annette
Dashofy is the USA Today best-selling author of the Zoe Chambers mystery series
about a paramedic and deputy coroner in rural Pennsylvania’s tight-knit Vance
Township. CIRCLE OF INFLUENCE, published by Henery Press, was a finalist for
the Agatha Award for Best First Novel and for the David Award for Best Mystery
of 2014. BRIDGES BURNED has been nominated for the Agatha for Best Contemporary
Novel of 2015, and WITH A VENGEANCE, the fourth in the series, will be available
this May.
With a Vengeance
Paramedic Zoe Chambers and the rest of rural Monongahela County’s
EMS and fire personnel are used to wading into the middle of trouble to rescue
the sick and the injured. But when someone with an ax to grind seeks retribution
by staging accident scenes and gunning down the first responders, Zoe finds
herself forced to not only treat her own brethren of the front lines, but also,
in her role as deputy coroner, seek out whoever is killing her friends.
At the same time, Vance Township Police Chief Pete Adams races to
track down a gun, a mysterious all-terrain vehicle, and the sniper before Zoe
goes back on duty, placing herself—and Pete—firmly in the gunman’s crosshairs.
