Adrift on the NO-HELP line

HALLIE EPHRON: I've spent an exorbitant amount of time on-hold, waiting for customer service lately. Verizon makes it nearly impossible to shut down a cell phone. And don't get me started on the hold times of banks and investment firms. The Department of Motor Vehicles doesn't even take calls any more, and I read that the IRS is only able to speak to a small fraction of calls that come into their HELP line.

By the time I reach an actual person, nine times out of ten I've been on hold for more than 30 minutes and I AM GRUMPY. Sick to death of their endlessly looping on-hold muzak.

Poor them. I know, Covid has walloped their staffing.

Still... poorer me.

Before Christmas, I responded to an ad (nice clothing company, not LL Bean) inviting me to shop and get "30 percent off the highest priced item in your cart."

I love their clothing and so I ordered a cozy bathrobe. More than $100, but with the discount, more affordable. A lovely gift for my son-in-law.

Despite the checkout message -- something to the effect: Your discount will be applied after you check out -- a discount was not taken. I was charged full price. Plus tax and shipping.

So I called their customer support and spoke to "Adam." Gave him the order number which he dutifully looked up.

Well, of course, he said, I didn't GET a discount because I only had ONE item in the cart.

Huh?

Yup, he told me. "Highest priced item" means there have to be more than one.

I'd been on one too many holds in the last few months and I... fell silent.

"Seriously?" I asked.

"Seriously," he said.

And off I went on a rant about how this was false advertising, bait and switch, word parsing, etc. and...

He actually laughed at me. Clearly unimpressed.

THEN I said I would be calling a friend who's an investigative journalist (not lying, as you all know). She might be interested in doing a story about this bait-and-switch. Surely I wasn't the only customer who'd been snookered.

He fell silent. Then said he needed to put me on hold.

And spit-spot, he connected me with a supervisor. Who put me on hold for a bit, and then came back on to say the problem had been "taken care of" and I should see the discounted amount refunded. (And I did.)

Take that, Adam.

Have you been battling with "customer service" and who's coming out on top?