The Reds Tackle Decluttering.

RHYS  BOWEN: I've been thinking about down-sizing. We have just returned from our condo in Arizona. It is simply furnished with modern lines (thanks to Ikea) and no clutter. I love it! I love the ease in keeping it clean and how nice it looks when the sun shines in through those big windows. Now I am back home in California and horribly aware that we live in a big house with a lot of stuff. So the question is: how do I get rid of it? Where do I start?

I have been good about weeding out clothes I no longer wear. My daughter has made me promise that for every new item that comes in, two must go out. I've pared down books. We've put all of our old video tapes onto one digital file so they can all go. But I'm married to something akin to a hoarder. He prints out every letter he sends via email and keeps them all in files. Filing cabinets all over the house. Every letter he wrote to the water board in 1985!  He started going through things and discarding them but then gave up. Sigh.

And I have been a collector all my life. I have collected books. I have collected items from my travels. When I was a child my aunt and father brought me home dolls from every country they visited. I display those in a corner cabinet. I have collected paperweights. I still enjoy them on the card table. I still collect little boxes when I travel. But in the past I used to collect elephants. Everybody gave me an elephant: ebony, ivory, glass, ceramic. They all now live in a big box. But how do I get rid of them? And little houses. I used to collect little antique houses. They live in another box.

Oh, and we inherited a whole houseful of antique Chinese stuff from John's parents.

So I want to know: do you collect? And have you been able to give up your collections? Any helpful hints on simplifying my life would be appreciated!

HALLIE EPHRON: I am not a collector but like you, Rhys, I'm married to a man who is--which is the plot of my new novel which I am striving to finish.  I've been reading Marie Kondo's "The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up" and nowhere in it is guidance on how to get rid of a packrat spouse.

But even as a non-collector, I have much more stuff than I need, and my kids have made abundantly clear that they're not interested in most of it. There's a whole profession of organizers dedicated to helping declutter -- the National Associations of Productivity and Organizing Professionals (NAPO - http://www.napo.net) -- and as part of my research for my novel I went to a meeting and was very impressed. They recognize the emotional component.

JENN McKINLAY: My greatest joy, okay, after my hooligans, is throwing stuff out. This is fabulous because the Hub is a hoarder. We never argue but we have spirited debates about why he feels the need to keep every shirt he's ever worn. Also, how many bookcases can one house accomodate? How many guitars does a musician actually need? And, just because that golf trophy was your grandfather's do we really need to keep it? I could go on. I won't. I keep nothing. Like a butterfly, I shed my closet once a year, keeping only things that were handmade (knitted sweaters, etc.) or business clothes that I don't wear often. In a perfect world I would live in a sterilized pod with just my laptop and a coffee maker and visitation from my pets.

INGRID THOFT:  Jenn, I’m with you.  I love getting rid of stuff.  I always have a box destined for Goodwill, and I feel a closet purge is in my near future.  Thankfully, my spouse is not a pack rat; I actually think that might be grounds for divorce!  The best question to ask yourself when sorting:  Would I buy this today?  Obviously, if something was a gift or holds sentimental value that question does not apply, but what about taking a picture of the item and letting go of the item itself?  I had a comforter that I loved as a child, and I had even named it.  As I got older, it was practically disintegrating so I took out the scissors, cut out a small square and still have that swatch of it.  I think I could pitch it today, which suggests that baby steps may be the way to go when getting rid of stuff.

In terms of collections, I expressed a love for elephants when I was a child, Rhys, and the elephant floodgates open.  I rotate those I have on display, and I’ve gotten the word out that I don’t need anymore! 

JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: I've had collections in the past. When I was a girl, I collected dolls from different countries, and since we traveled around quite a bit (military) I had a very nice group. They all live in Youngest's room, along with HER collection of antique-style dolls, which means I'll probably be displaying 25-30 dolls until Youngest buys a house. When I aged up a bit, I started collecting tacky snowglobe paperweights - you know, the kind with a plastic marlin jumping over a badly-painted orange tree and the words "Sarasota, Florida." I stopped displaying them after I got married, but they are still all there in a box in the attic. (At least they're small, which is more than I can say for the dolls.)

Now, I don't think of myself as collecting things, but my daughters quickly put me right. I do collect: china, silver, table linens, silk floral arrangements, glasses - I've simply convinced myself it's not collecting if they're useful. Youngest pointed out that four complete sets of china (for 8, 10, 12 and 14) is a little more than "useful." My plan is to give them away to the kids as they get married...but realistically, that means I'll probably go out and get more for myself.

LUCY BURDETTE: Oh Julia, I think your daughters are being a little hard on you! If you have dinner parties for any of those number of guests, you are perfectly equipped.

We worked hard in CT this year to cull stuff we didn't need or use. We barely made a dent, so I think we'll get back on that again soon. But papers are absolutely the worst because if you're paranoid, you want shred everything with any personal info on it. And that is so tedious! You may know that my hub has a website for Baby Boomers headed for retirement--last week one of his blog posts was on the subject of how your kids don't want your stuff. Here it is in case you need motivation to declutter:
https://www.topretirements.com/blog/home-and-garden/an-sad-surprise-nobody-wants-your-stuff.html/https://www.topretirements.com/blog/home-and-garden/an-sad-surprise-nobody-wants-your-stuff.html/

RHYS: That's so true, Lucy. Our kids say "don't you dare die and leave us with all this!"

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: We had our roof repaired last fall, and the roofers brought a dumpster. I thought--hmm. A sign. I asked them--can we put stuff in there, too? The roofer said something along the lines of "You're paying for the dumpster, lady." Okay then.
So I got some guys and pointed them to the basement and to the garage.  Throw everything away, I said. I'm not even gonna look at it.
Jonathan was not so sanguine. That's a perfectly good suitcase! he cried.
It's a Samsonite from the 1950's! I said. And it has no wheels. Would you take that anywhere?
Before he could answer, it went into the dumpster.
Oh, it was fabulous. Our car now fits in the garage.The basement is gorgeous and has shelves and organization.
The dumpster was FULL. It was scary, I tell you, scary.
My only downfall is paper shopping bags and t-shirts. And bubble wrap. How can you throw away bubble wrap?
As for collecting stuff, I don't. Not on purpose at least.

RHYS: Oh funny, Hank. John is exactly the same. Don't throw that out. It's still good!

DEBORAH CROMBIE: I think Jenn needs to visit those of us who tend to accumulate!!! But I've just had the next best thing, a visit from my Kansas City friend, who goes through my house like a whirlwind. If she could ever stay more than a couple of days we'd have the whole place ship-shape. Except the the garage, which is hub's territory! Last week we redid the display shelves of the big hutch in our dining room, and then I cleaned out the lower cabinets. A huge bag for the trash, and three big boxes of giveaways. It's so liberating, and it looks fabulous. Now if I just had the time to do the rest of the house...

RHYS: Any brilliant tips on decluttering? Who still collects things (apart from books, I mean. I know we are all guilty of that.

Ann Parker talks about Objects of Desire

RHYS BOWEN: Ann Parker has been one of my long-time friends in the mystery community and we've done many events together. I adore her Leadville historical mysteries, filled with so many real characters and real happenings that you feel you are there.

I wonder how many stories start with a found object, or a found photograph? They've certainly sparked ideas for me, as they have for Ann. And what better excuse to collect things in the name of research! Welcome to Jungle Red, Ann.

ANN PARKER: Objects of Desire, or Confessions of an eBay Addicted Historical Author

My fascination with historical objects goes waaaaay back, to when I was but a young’un (pre-teen, at least), digging through my grandparents’ basements full of dusty boxes and ancient traveling trunks. I’d marvel over the treasure within: beautiful fans, old tintypes, elegant hats, indecipherable letters written in faded ink, worn buttontop shoes… the list goes on.

So, perhaps it’s no surprise that I browse brick-and-mortar antique stores and eBay when doing research for my Silver Rush historical mystery series. From antique stores, for instance, I have obtained a cobalt-blue, gold-latticed “poison bottle,” a magnificent metal clamp for holding papers, a well-used button hook, an old ceramic “cupel” used in silver assaying, and a table crumb brush. Most of these objects have found their way into my Silver Rush stories, which are primarily set in the silver boomtown of Leadville, Colorado, in 1880.

 The cupel kept me company as I delved into silver assaying for the first book in the series, Silver Lies. In Leaden Skies, the poison bottle makes an appearance and my series protagonist, Inez Stannert, puts a button hook to good use.

I also scoop up old photographs and cabinet cards that catch my eye, and muse over the anonymous faces.

Who were these people, and what are their stories? Sometimes, these people from long ago find a place in my fiction. The three top-hatted gentlemen, for instance, became models for my “Lads from London”—British remittance men, who appear in both Mercury’s Rise and What Gold Buys.

Antique stores are dangerous to my pocketbook, and eBay is even worse.

My most recent eBay frenzy occurred when I was working on A Dying Note, the newest in my series. In this book, my protagonist Inez Stannert has relocated from the wild silver-boom town of Leadville, Colorado, to the somewhat-less-wild city of San Francisco, California. It’s now 1881, and Inez is managing a music store, which is quite a bit different from her previous position running the Silver Queen Saloon in Leadville (how this all comes about is another story for another post!). For plot purposes, I needed to get a better bead on Victorian “trade cards” that stores and businesses used for advertising. So, late one night, I turned to eBay, looking for examples from the 1880s.

Big mistake.

I indeed found examples, including some cards advertising music stores, even some from San Francisco, Inez’s new stomping grounds. But then I also found other cards—one for “Fine Hats” that featured a shoe full of flowers, another touting Coraline corsets, another extolling the virtues of Zoedone (a drink both “stimulating and invigorating, yet non-intoxicating” according to copy on the reverse side), and a card with an impressive image of San Francisco’s Palace Hotel.… Before I knew it, I had clicked “Buy Now” for half a dozen or so.

I haven’t found a place for all of the objects, people, or businesses in my collection, but there’s always the next book!

Ann Parker authors the award-winning Silver Rush historical mystery series published by Poisoned Pen Press. During the day, she wrangles words for a living as a science editor/writer and marketing communications specialist (which is basically a fancy term for “editor/writer”). Her midnight hours are devoted to scribbling fiction. The sixth book in her series, A Dying Note, is being released this month. Publishers Weekly calls it “Exuberant.... brims with fascinating period details, flamboyant characters, and surprising plot twists.” Visit annparker.net for more information.

Collecting Ourselves

JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: I was cleaning up Youngest's room for an overnight guest (for values of cleaning up - for a kid who has a sizable part of her belongings and wardrobe at boarding school, she manages to leave HEAPS of belongings behind) and wound up straightening several of her dolls that had fallen over. Youngest has been collecting dolls for many years now; the core of her collection were the dolls I had managed to hold on to from childhood on.

When I was a girl, we moved constantly, both in the US and overseas. In addition, my parents traveled a lot, separately and together. Wherever they went, they found me dolls in traditional dress: dolls from Morocco and Switzerland, Viet Nam and Germany, Scotland and Thailand. I didn't play with them, of course; they sat on a shelf and I rearranged them whenever I got  new doll, based on some metric I can't recall. Alphabetical by county of origin, maybe?

Whether they can play with them or not, children LOVE collecting.  My late father-in-law had an enormous stamp collection when he was young. My husband Ross collected W. Britain toy soldiers and used to stage massive battles between British Napoleonic regiments and Spartan phalanxes. In my teens and early twenties, I assembled an enviably large collection of tacky snow globes. Alas, when we moved into our current home, I realized tacky plastic snow globes weren't quite the decorating touch I was looking for in an 1820 farmhouse. They're all upstairs in the attic now. I told the Smithie she could have them when she moved into her first apartment, but she seemed strangely uninterested.


For the past fifteen years, my collecting obsession has been china and glassware. I have Spode that was Ross's grandmother's, Royal Doulton that was a wedding gift from my parents, a huge set of American ironstone that I got at auction and 19th century Canton Famille Rose that was given to me by a dear friend who had to seriously downsize. (Because she was moving to her house in Hawai'i. Not a bad trade!) Glassware I've picked up everywhere from Goodwill to estate sales to factory stores.


Reds, what did you collect when you were girls, and do you have any collections as adults?


RHYS BOWEN: I also have a big collection of dolls in national costumes from around the world. My father used to bring them back from business trips and my aunt was a great traveler who brought me a doll from every country she visited. I have a whole china cabinet full of them and pause to admire them sometimes.

As an adult I've had several collections: I collected elephants for many years until everyone gave me an elephant for every occasion and elephants threatened to take over my life. I've collected glass paperweights, but put them away one Christmas and have never brought them out again. I collect tiny boxes that live in a glass topped table. I still enjoy those. But when we bought a condo for the winter in Arizona I wanted it completely minimalist and simple, and actually I enjoy it that way so much that I've put away most of my ornaments from the house in California.


LUCY BURDETTE: I'm not an organized collector, unless you count--books! When I was deep into golf, I probably bought every golf novel and book on golf psychology that I could get my hands on. Now it's foodie books--I love foodie memoir and foodie novels. And of course I have all the books my friends have written--how can I purge those, especially if they are signed? I've been trying to cull out some of them, asking myself honestly, will you ever read this? Or will you ever read this again?? But it's very hard...






HALLIE EPHRON: I am so not a collector. Never was, even as a child. I remember one of my sisters collected dead bees. Back then she did things just to be annoying. The bad news is that I’m married to a man who collects. Stamps. Books. Postcards. The silver lining of this is that he keeps our photo albums up to date.

The one thing I have saved are all cartoon cards he’s drawn for me over the years for my birthday, Christmas, New Year, Valentines Day, and wedding Anniversary. This one’s from Valentine’s Day back when we lived in NYC with cats in about 1970.



JULIA: Hallie, that's a collection that's truly priceless!


DEBORAH CROMBIE: Julia, Rhys, I had a doll collection from everywhere my parents traveled, too! Japan, Hong Kong, South America, etc., etc. Like Julia, I must have had some system for arranging them, but have no idea now what it was. And I'm ashamed to say that I have no idea what happened to them. Culled in some move or other. But I can safely say that my daughter would NOT have wanted them--she's very minimalist in her taste.

As for something I actually enjoyed, I collected rocks. I had visions of being a gemologist, I suppose, or a geologist. I poured over guides to rocks and minerals and had special box for my rocks. Of course I liked the sparkly ones but that didn't translate into sparkly jewelry as an adult. A good thing, probably.

Nowadays the most organized thing I have is teapots. But I use the same one every day (Emma Bridgewater) and the other are mostly for decoration in my kitchen. I'm feeling a huge urge to declutter...

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: I know you all think I collect black shoes, and black business suits, but that is all part of the job. So it doesn't count.

When I was a teenager, I collected Beatles stuff, but when I went away to college, my mother threw it away.

Not really Hank's, Her's are much neater. And cooler.

Thinking about this is so fascinating, because I don't really collect anything now. Unless you count glossy shopping bags, which I don't collect as much as accumulate. I do have a fabulous collection of name tags from various conferences and events, which I hang over the back of my chair in my writing office.  It is quite amazing, and quite a work of art. It also changes the balance so much that it makes my chair follow over backwards.

Luckily, only when I am not in it.


JULIA: It seems like an essential component of everyone's decorating is that there has to be a bit of a challenge to it. Only gifts, or never buying full price, or only when traveling or at conferences. How about you, dear Readers? What did - or do - you collect?

Be careful what you wish for...

HALLIE EPHRON: I had a friend who made the mistake of telling friends that he liked frogs. Soon he had a massive collection of them, gifts from well meaning buddies who now knew what to get him. Believe me, he did not like frogs that much.



My family knows I like soap, and I truly am happy that every Christmas I get some lovely bars of the stuff... which I use up before the next Christmas. But telling my husband, in particular, that I like jewelry and silk scarves has made no discernible impact. I once confessed that I like fruitcake as long as it doesn't have tutti fruttis in it. That he remembers.



So have you inadvertently generated a collection of something (cats, dogs, elephants, fruitcake door stops??) that you sort of like and happened to mention?



DEBORAH CROMBIE: Everyone knows I like tea, so I do get tea things, which I quite like. And books, of course.

But like you, telling hubby I'd really love some nice jewelry has had no discernible affect. Are we doing something wrong? Maybe they're not watching enough jewelry store ads on TV? :-)

HANK PHILLIPI RYAN: This is hilarious. I have a pal who did it with elephants. Said so, I mean. Now his house is FULL of the creatures. And what are you supposed to do? Say I don't like elephants anymore?

And I agree, when you TRY (ooh, look at that gorgeous scarf!) it never works. Searching for an inexpensive-y easy thing, I once told relatives I love grapefruit-scented bath gel. Easy, huh? How hard is that? Got none._._,_._

Want me to call everyone's husbands?

RHYS BOWEN: I used to collect elephants--ebony, ivory, glass, ceramic and then my kids started giving me elephants for every occasion. I still love elephants (the real thing) but I've boxed up the collection and anything else that attracts dust.

And Hallie, if I want my husband to buy me something specific and non-techie for Christmas I have to draw a diagram leading him to the correct rack or counter in Macy's and describing the item in minute detail. Hints with men never work.

When we're driving I used to say "Oh look, a craft fair. How adorable." And that meant "I want to stop and take a look" but to John it meant keep on driving. So I learned to yell "Stop! I'm going to take a look at that craft fair. Find some coffee. See you in half an hour." 

You have to be specific with them. And foreceful!

HALLIE: Laughing, Rhys - this year I sent my husband the web link to the cast iron fry pan I'm coveting (really)... I think it worked. Time will tell.

LUCY BURDETTE: I'm laughing with you Rhys because my John does the same thing when it comes to restrooms. I'll mention to him that I need to stop. Okay he says and then drives right by the next exit.

Hey I say I need to use the bathroom. Oh he says you didn't tell me you need to use it now.

To get back on topic, my mother used to have a collection of owls. Owls made of everything--marble, felt, wood, everything owl. My collection as a kid was stuffed cats. I kept all of them until we moved to Florida in the 80s and the roaches ate the rabbit fur covers. I still miss those cats.

DEBS: Oh, oops, Lucy, you know what's going to happen now. Everyone is going to give you stuffed cats!!!!

HALLIE: Writing it down...

SUSAN ELIA MACNEAL: My husband is a puppeteer for Sesame Street and the Muppets, and he's also played a dragon (Majellan on Nickelodian's Eureeka's Castle) and Bear on Disney Channel's Bear in the Big Blue House. So we have tons of dragon and bear stuff around — gifts from people, mostly. The current show is Mouse King, so are we in for lots of mouse and rat stuff, too?

(I was going to type, "oh, I hope not" — but then realized a bought a mouse king ornament for this year's tree.... I'm part of the problem here, aren't I?)

HALLIE: Okay, so confessions are good for the soul. Did you ever inadvertently start a collection by saying you liked frogs... or some other cute creature... and then end up inundated with them?  (Ellen Kozak: You won't believe it, but I had this blog in the works before your comment!!)

Button boxes and what we save...

HALLIE EPHRON: This picture shows part of a collection of buttons that my husband dragged home from someone else's trash last week. What can I say? Sometimes he brings home really neat stuff. Like our dining room rug... but that's another story.

Back to the buttons. They went out again in the trash the next day, but not before I'd pawed through them, marveling that many of them still had thread in the button holes.

I thought: here's a person who wears shirts and coats until they're unwearable, then cuts off the buttons and saves them. Talk about frugal. I wondered if maybe she (I think it's a she) cut up those shirts and coats and turned them into quilts.

My husband's mother saved buttons, too, though she did not quilt. After she died and we were holed up in her apartment for a few days, my daughters and I sorted through the buttons she'd saved, arranging them by size and color. We brought them home -- not to reuse, but because we couldn't throw them away.

Her sister-in-law worked in a handkerchief factory, so there was also a collection of about 50 embroidered handkerchiefs she'd been given over the years. We kept them all. Two years ago, they had pride of place in fond remembrance under mason jars filled with dahlias on the tables at my daughter's wedding.

My mother-in-law lived through the Great Depression. Hers was a generation of frugal savers. We're sentimental savers (my children's drawings and essays and the cartoon cards my husband makes for me on birthdays and holidays).

What kind of saver are you? Sentimental? Frugal? Or none of the above?

RHYS BOWEN: My grandmother's button box made me the writer I am today. They were among my first play-things--I gave them personalities, made them into schools and hospitals, interacted with them.

I am married to another hoarder. His mother used to wash out glass jars and use them to store things. John does likewise. Drives me crazy.

Every now and then I sneak into the garage and drop some into the recycling. My mother was the opposite--anything that wasn't useful right now got tossed out , including my favorite childhood toys. I'm in the middle. I keep things that were pretty and interesting and fun--the doll houses, favorite rag dolls, Peter Rabbit, my collection of elephants, but I'm getting better about letting go.

And I love my condo in Arizona that has minimum stuff and clutter in it.

DEBORAH CROMBIE: My grandmother saved buttons, too!  And fabric, although it was for mending, not quilting, sadly...

Me, I'm not nearly as sentimental a saver as Rick--he has all kinds of family stuff, and the t-shirts he wore in high school, and--well, you get the picture.

But... I have my mother's last set of dishes in a box in my attic. Garden Botanica. They don't go in my house but I couldn't bring myself to give them away.  And when she passed away in August, I kept all her beautiful Chinese and Japanese prints. I have nowhere to hang them, but can't bear, at least not yet, to give them away. (Some of them may actually be valuable but I wouldn't have the first idea how to sell them.) For the moment they're stacked under my guest room bed... 

And I have to admit I have my grandmother's handkerchiefs in my dresser drawer...

LUCY BURDETTE: I do have boxes of letters and photos in my closet that are jammed in willy-nilly. I'm afraid if I were to disappear any time soon, no one would have the stamina to go through them. I'd love to organize them and get rid of the ones that aren't so meaningful, but that would mean reading each and every scrap. Who has the time?

Every once in a while I threaten my John that I'm going to quit writing, then oil up my sewing machine and get out my glue gun and start doing crafts:). He doesn't believe me...

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: T-shirts. It is PITIFUL. This picture shows just some of the--no, I cannot do it. Even for you, I cannot reveal all the T-shirts I have.

• I have one from 1982, from the Atlanta FoxTheater, with the Rolling Stones tongue logo, that says I MISSED THE STONES. (I'm supposed to throw that away? ) 
• I have one from the Zucchini Festival somewhere in Vermont that has the logo "No Cukes" that looks like the "no nukes" logo. 
• From my time in  1972 (yes, 72) as a US Senate staffer, I have my shirt from Senator Kennedy's staff softball team that says BOSTON TED SOX. From 1993 (I think?) 
• Paul Simon at Fenway Park. 
• And sometime in the 90's the Police at Foxborough Stadium--I not only got the t-shirt, I got an Emmy for best feature story. Got to love it.

I KNOW I could have them made into a quilt. But they are T-shirts, and so T-shirts--stacks of memorable stacks of them--they will stay.

And pretty shopping bags. SO MANY OF THEM.  Don't even ASK.  And oh, tissue paper. Very reusable.

SUSAN ELIA MACNEAL: I've been on my own since I was eighteen and responsible from moving my own stuff from apartment to apartment, so I've learned to be ruthless about not accumulating things.

Even now that my husband and I have owned our own place for over a decade, I still think like that eighteen-year-old. I also like simplicity. And the kiddo has asthma, so the less stuff around, the better. (Do I sound heartless? I'm not, really, I swear. I love my people and pets! Just not stuff. Would have made a good Amish person or Buddhist monk.)

HALLIE: Do you collect? Save? And what can't you bear to throw away?