Then I got older and lines started to appear and my jaw line sagged and I thought well maybe... Not a full face lift but just a little tuck here and there? I'd better not name actual procedures or I might get sued, but there was one that sounded good--an in office job, no anesthetic, no down time. Then I went on line to read the reviews. One woman had needed 50 injections to numb the pain. She described feeling the blood running down her neck and the scalpel digging around. Uh, strike that one.
Then the thermal heat sounded good. The doctor applies a wand with some kind of high frequency heat signals and it tightens the jaw line. I checked on that. The discomfort level was rated 5 on a scale of 1 - 5. No thank you. I'm a chicken when it comes to pain.
Have noticed how they use the word discomfort when they mean pain? My dentist always says "Just a little prick," when he means a bloody great four inch needle is about to be rammed into my jaw.
And then my dermatologist suggested I should have blue light therapy to correct my sun-damaged skin. They put gel on your face. You sit in front of blue light for 17 minutes. How bad could that be? Then I read the fine print. Again it mentioned that "most people will experience considerable discomfort." (For that read agony). Also...You have to leave the office completely covered from the sun. If any sunlight reaches you for 48 hours you can continue to burn. The face bleeds and scabs and some people couldn't go out for a month.
So I guess I'm resigned to having wrinkles and sun damage. The occasional microdermabrasion is fine, but it doesn't do much. Neither do those expensive creams. So do tell, Jungle Reds--what would you do/have you done for looks? Are you willing to endure pain to look good? And most pressing of all--can anyone recommend a procedure that will make me look young and lovely AND NOT HURT?
HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: No. :-) Smiling, maybe.
LUCY BURDETTE: Oh Rhys you're so funny. No, big chicken on pain here too. And besides, everyone makes catty comments about a woman who's had a face lift--why is that a good outcome?
I would kind of like my eyelids pinned up before they droop so low I can't see out:). (This runs in my family, unfortunately.) But too busy to fool with it.
And we think you look amazing Rhys! xoxo
HALLIE EPHRON: I earned my wrinkles mostly by laughing, and I intend to continue to do so, thank you very much. Plus I'm cheap and I'm a fraidy cat, and I can think of lots better ways to spend my money.
JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: My beauty routine, such as it is, is a Retin A cream at night (when I remember) and SPF 30 every morning, which I never forget, because MELANOMA. I'm not opposed to plastic surgery per se, but I do hate the idea that aging is some sort of condition that one has to cure. My mother always said a woman's goal is to look like a really great ___-year-old, not like a superannuated teenager.
That being said, if I had the money to blow on surgically-enhanced vanity? (Which I won't until we're through paying college tuitions in, oh, 2021...) I'd get the girls lifted. If you have a great decolletage, no one cares if your face is wrinkled.
