What makes a perfect opening line? Jenn McKinlay

Opening lines -- I collect opening lines like a kid collects sea shells on the beach. Or, in the case of my nephew, a smelly dead crawfish that managed to stink up our vacation home until we tracked it to the pocket of his bathing suit where the stench almost knocked us out, but I digress.

Novel openings. What makes a good one? What magical combination of ingredients spellbinds the reader into continuing with a story? I have no idea. When it comes to opening lines, I am a fraud, a cheat, and a swindler. Why? Because my opening lines are almost always dialogue.

Truthfully, I never set out to start my books this way, but I am a horrible eavesdropper and I find it virtually impossible not to listen to other peoples' conversations, especially if they are being dramatic, funny, or tearful. Because, of course, I have to know why they are crying, maybe I can help! A friend of mine from college called this “dipping”. When we’d go to Conn Hall for dinner, I’d lean back to better hear the conversation behind me and she’d say, “Jenn, are you dipping again?” 

I’d shush her, giving her the double raised eyebrows look, and report back on the break up, argument, declaration of love, or what have you that was happening. Pro tip: If you don’t want people to overhear you, save the personal convos for when you're alone and not in a dining hall that seats three hundred people or at an intimate restaurant where the next table is mere inches away.

When I began writing, it was just natural to begin the story in the midst of a conversation, hopefully luring the reader into “dipping” just like I do. Yes, I still do it when a particularly interesting conversation unfolds around me. Bad manners, I know. Still I can't help it. For me, I find dialogue between characters to be the best way to set the tone of the book and it keeps me from info dumping a lot of background on the reader by weaving it into the conversation and hopefully scoring a few laughs along the way.

So, how about you, Reds? What are your tips and tricks for writing your opening lines? And what are some of your favorites?

RHYS NEEDS HELP FROM REDS AND READERS

RHYS BOWEN: As you probably know, I'm going to be writer-in-residence at a workshop in Tuscany this summer (and there is still one place to be filled if you get a sudden urge for the Tuscan sun). I'm starting to prepare my pre-workshop handouts and this includes a reading list. So I thought I'd get imput from the Jungle Reds and readers who between us are the most mystery-literate group on the planet.

These are my categories for books suggestions: (and as you'll see, I need help here. I'm sure there are so many great books I'm missing. I'm brain dead having just finished a book.)

BOOKS ON WRITING, ESPECIALLY MYSTERY WRITING.
I'd choose Hallie's book on mystery writing,
Stephen King on writing.
Maybe Anne Lamott's Bird on Bird.

MYSTERIES THAT ARE CHARACTER DRIVEN, WRITERS WHO SHOW EXPERTISE IN CREATING CHARACTER.
I have: Deborah Crombie, Louise Penny as great examples of rich, full-bodied characters.
Mystic River.
In the Bleak Midwinter
On Beulah Height by Reginald Hill

MYSTERIES THAT SHOW SKILL IN PLOT
All of the above (so maybe I just need a category called GOOD MYSTERY NOVELS)
Michael Connelly's Bloodwork
Hank's books.
Hallie's There Was an Old Woman

MYSTERIES THAT HAVE GOOD, REALISTIC DIALOGUE
Hank's books.

SUSAN ELIA MACNEAL: Well, if you need another instructor in Tuscany at the last minute, I'm your gal....
( RHYS.. I wish I could take all my Jungle Red sisters along with me)

BOOKS ON WRITING, ESPECIALLY MYSTERY WRITING.
The Artist's Way, Julia Cameron
On Writing, Stephen King
Bird by Bird, Anne LaMott
The Writers Journey: Mythic Structure for Writers, Christopher Vogler

MYSTERIES THAT ARE CHARACTER DRIVEN, WRITERS WHO SHOW EXPERTISE IN CREATING CHARACTER.
Anything by Alan Bradley
Anything by Laurie R. King
Anything by Alice Hoffman (her books aren't usually shelved with mysteries, but usually contain a crime/murder/mystery anyway)

MYSTERIES THAT SHOW SKILL IN PLOT
The Girl Who Played with Fire, Stieg Larsson (RHYS: oh yes, good one. Perfect.)
The Little Stranger, Sarah Waters
The DaVinci Code, Dan Brown

MYSTERIES THAT HAVE GOOD, REALISTIC DIALOG
Anything by Raymond Chandler
Anything by Harlan Cobern
Anything by Louise Penny


SETTING/SENSE OF PLACE/TIME
Anything by Rhys Bowen
Anything by Jane Thynne
Anything by Kerry Greenwood
Anything by Charles Todd

HALLIE EPHRON: Oh Rhys, seriously thank you SO MUCH for the vote of confidence on my WRITING AND SELLING YOUR MYSTERY NOVEL! And seriously I’d kill to be going with you.

My recommendations:
BOOKS ON WRITING, ESPECIALLY MYSTERY WRITING.
I'd happily recommend Jane Cleland’s book coming out in April, Mastering Suspense, Structure, and Plot: How to Write Gripping Stories That Keep Readers on the Edge of Their Seats from Writer’s Digest Books
Also Paula Munier’s Plot Perfect: How to Build Unforgettable Stories Scene by Scene

MYSTERIES THAT ARE CHARACTER DRIVEN, WRITERS WHO SHOW EXPERTISE IN CREATING CHARACTER.
Lucy’s Key West Food Critic series
The End of Everything by Megan Abbott
Method 15/33 by Shannon Kirk
Rhys’s Her Royal Spyness

MYSTERIES THAT SHOW SKILL IN PLOT
The Town (aka Prince of Thieves) by Chuck Hogan
Body Double by Tess Gerritsen
Lincoln Lawyer by Michael Connely
The Virgin of Small Plains by Nancy Pickard

MYSTERIES THAT HAVE GOOD, REALISTIC DIALOG
Anything by Elmore Leonard of course
Anything by Robert B. Parker
Citizen Vince by Jess Walter
The Friends of Eddie Coyle by George HIggins

SETTING: SENSE OF TIME/PLACE
Jacqueline Winspear’s Maisie Dobbs series
Any of Susan's Maggie Hope books
Any of William Tapply's books, especially Bitch Creek
Tony Hillerman's books

LUCY BURDETTE: That sounds like such fun Rhys! I won't pile on to the super suggestions that have already been made, but I thought of 3 additional writers who are amazing with both setting and character: CJ BOX'S Joe Pickett series, W KENT KRUEGER'S Cork O'Connell series, and ARNALDUR INDRIDASON for his gloomy detective and the Icelandic setting that feeds his mood.

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: Rhys! I am floating. Thank you. Thank you.  ( I am very proud of my plots and dialogue. Thank you.) And your students are SO lucky!

So just some additions--I agree with the writing books. I cannot live without Stephen King's On Writing.  Hallie's and Paula's and Jane's, too . Stellar.

SKILL IN PLOT: Linwood Barclay's TRUST YOUR EYES  (amazing, truly, a master class)
Peter Abrahams NERVE DAMAGE  (breaks every rule! so original)

CHARACTER: Spencer Quinn's Chet in the Chet and Bernie series...Chet is a DOG! How does he do that?
Sue Grafton's Kinsey--a classic. reliable, but always new
Maggie Hope--start with Susan's Mr Churchill's Secretary
Rachel Howzell Hall's Elouise Norton


SENSE OF TIME AND PLACE
Charles and Caroline Todd's  Inspector Rutledge books--start with TEST OF WILLS
Lady Georgie!
Dennis Lehane's Mystic River

Oh, now I'm really thinking about this. There are SO many more. And I'll remember them as soon as I hit send.

DEBORAH CROMBIE:

Thank you, Rhys, I'm very flattered!

A couple of writing books suggestions:

For creative impetus: Writing Done the Bones by Natalie Goldberg
For the best how-to: Writing: A User Manual by David Hewson
For character: The Art of Character

Skill in Character:

All the Harry Dresden books by Jim Butcher (not sure if these actually count as mysteries, but one of my favorite characters in fiction, period.)
Peter Grant novels by Ben Aaronovitch
Bryant and May novels, Christopher Fowler

Skill in Plot:

Already mentioned, but one of the most cleverly plotted books I've ever read is On Beaulah Height by Reginald Hill
The Verdict by Nick Stone

Skill in Dialog:

Anything by Julia Spenser-Fleming
Anything by Hank


Setting, Sense of Time and Place:

Rhys's Molly and Georgie books
Susan's Maggie Hope books
Billy Boyle novels by James Benn
Charles Todd
Laurie R. King
Jacqueline Winspear

RHYS: Thank you all so much for these. As I read down the list I kept saying out loud, "Of course. Why didn't I think of him/her?"
So I now have a stellar list but I don't think I can expect my students to bring this many books in their carry-ons. And now it's your turn: who have we left out of this list?

More writing advice: Elizabeth Sims and tips on getting away with coincidence

Continuing with our look at the just published second edition of “The Complete Handbook of Novel Writing,” more writing advice as we welcome mystery author Elizabeth Sims, the author of three Rita Farmer mysteries, including just published “On Location.”

HALLIE: Elizabeth, in your essay “Write This Not That” you compare good writing to healthy eating, and advise authors to make smart choices. Your advice about coincidences was so interesting. What kind of coincidences are OK and what aren’t?

ELIZABETH: When my agent (Cameron McClure at the Donald Maass Agency) and I started working together, we had the first of many conversations about fiction. At one point she said, "Readers love coincidences," and I sort of bookmarked that in my brain, because I'd tried to avoid using coincidence in my earlier series, the Lillian Byrd mysteries. That's because I considered coincidence a cheap way out for lazy authors.

But I thought about Cameron's comment, and I started to pay attention more to coincidence in fiction. I realized that some of my favorite books contained coincidences, like OLIVER TWIST. I mean my gosh, Oliver just happens to pick the pocket of a guy who turns out to be an old friend of his father's? But you read it and you love it. Then I looked at other books (which will remain nameless) whose authors used coincidences as easy escape routes, and I analyzed why they were so unsatisfying.

I saw that what separates good coincidence from bad can be summarized in one word: groundwork. When an author presents a dreadful, complex situation, and you the reader are licking your chops and going, wow, how's this gonna come out? and then the author just uses some sudden act of God, or an out-of-left-field thing like a cop happens to be walking by, you feel let down. Because the author hasn't laid any groundwork for that coincidence, or they've laid very weak groundwork.

By contrast, when an author spends some time and plot capital laying good bedrock before unleashing that coincidence, you feel like it couldn't have happened any other way.

HALLIE: And what do you mean when you talk about “action-packed” dialogue?

ELIZABETH: This is a two-pronged thing: The best dialogue springs from action, and it represents much more than characters sharing words. Many aspiring authors find themselves writing along, then they realize they need to tell the reader something, and they stick in some dialogue out of the blue. The reader's like, 'Where did this come from?'

The problem can be solved by two techniques. One, resist the temptation to write dialogue when you need explication, and instead write some action.

HALLIE: Ha ha! In my writing group, we talk about dialogue that explicates as "Did you know Bob dialogue." It's awful.

ELIZABETH: Right. Instead, think about what are your characters doing- if they're doing something that moves the story along, any dialogue you add will feel spicy. And two, realize that when people talk to each other, they are usually motivated by something more than wanting to say stuff. They want to manipulate, or gain something, even if it's just a feeling of importance. A sentence as simple as 'Where were you last night?' is freighted with meaning.

HALLIE: I'm writing all this down. By the way, congratulations on your new Rita Farmer mystery, “On Location.” Opening line: “A hairy forearm mashed my face.” Was that the first line you wrote, or did you come up with it later?

ELIZABETH: I have great fun with my opening lines, and in the Rita Farmer series I start every book with a situation that seems dire. The opening line of THE ACTRESS, for example, is simply, "I screamed." Eventually I enlarge the frame, so to speak, and you see that Rita is literally playing a role. In ON LOCATION, I wanted to portray Rita getting attacked, and the line, "A hairy forearm mashed my face," popped into my mind before I'd worked out much else. The sentence seemed appropriately alarming, so it made it from first draft to last. Actually I think it started as "THE hairy forearm mashed my face," and I changed it to "A".

HALLIE: And what about that character description: “He was built like a tomato stake, great vertical presence without much visible flesh on him, very different from his stockier brother. He looked as if he existed on vegetable broth and high-fiber crackers. You certainly follow your own advice, to base descriptions on unconventional comparisons. How do you reach past cliché?

ELIZABETH: Sometimes I think I was put on this earth to fight cliché, I'm so offended by sloppy metaphors and first-to-mind slogans. The first thing to do is stop and loosen your brain. You can use just about anything as a launchpad from the commonplace.

I remember while writing one of my earlier novels, DAMN STRAIGHT, being tempted to describe a golfer as being unable to hit the broad side of a barn. How boring. But I thought about other things that are large, and the word 'brewery' popped into my mind. "Couldn't hit the broad side of a brewery" sounds unusual and kind of peppy.

Right now, I'm looking at a glass of water and thinking I could describe a character as "shapeless as a water tumbler," or "she had all the personality of tap water." Or you can take that further and think of other beverages. "She had all the personality of warm tomato juice." "She had all the personality of chamomile tea," which gives information about the narrator as well as the character being described. "She was like a champagne fountain, all bubbles and sass." And so on.

Experimenting with context helps as well. If you're talking about a house, for example, you can liken it to a ship at sea: "The prow of the house pointed east, as if it wanted to plunge into the combers rolling in from the Atlantic just beyond the hedge." Or you can liken a house to an animal: "The house sprawled in the mist like a sleeping hound." It's so much fun!

HALLIE: Great examples. In another essay, “Rough Up Your First Draft,” you advise authors to give up control and let ‘er rip when writing first draft. We have so many authors who are taking our “Write First” Jungle Red Writers Challenge and so this advice seems so apt. Tell us more!

ELIZABETH: Writing fiction is very Zen: The more control you give up, the freer your creative core becomes, and the more truly original stuff comes out.

And I just had an insight, right this minute: While many writers get bogged down in their first draft because they're afraid of making mistakes, I think some new writers get bogged down in their first draft because they don't feel comfortable with the revision process itself; they fear it, and therefore they try to get everything right the first time, which of course leads to stilted writing.

Sometimes we get stuck because we're not listening clearly enough to our inner voice. Therefore, you've just got to give yourself permission to let out whatever wants to come out.

HALLIE: Thanks! Elizabeth will be checking in today to respond to questions and comments, so please, if you have any comments or questions, join the discussion! And tune in tomorrow to join the conversation with James Scott Bell, author of the classic “Plot & Structure.”