HALLIE EPHRON: When I was in grade school, I hated maps because it was always about being printing neatly and coloring within the lines, two skills which I am constitutionally incapable of.
I
also cannot make pie crust without leaving the kitchen and myself covered with flour. And I cannot fold. My daughter (who was briefly a salesperson at The Gap where she aced Folding 101) has tried to teach me, but my folded items always come out crooked.There. Confession is good for the soul.
And because misery loves company, I'm asking you to confess: what simple skill would you love to be good at but you just don't have it in you?
RHYS BOWEN: I don't know that I've ever yearned to be good at it, but I'm hopeless at ironing. My
mother used to iron my father's underwear and all the sheets. I always manage to put in as many creases as I take out. Especially shirts. Can't do sleeves. And like you, Hallie, I'd love to have a linen closet with beautifully folded sheets and towels. I once had a cleaning lady who made it look like Martha Stewart lived in the house. But alas she went to nursing school.
LUCY BURDETTE: What a disappointment Rhys! :) I am a disaster with remote controls.
John has at least six of them with which to run the TV, DVR, Roku, sound surround, and who knows what else. I cannot keep in my head which to turn what on, which to move to what setting, and on and on. Besides, I'm impatient about it and can't understand why it has to be so complicated.He says if something bad happens to him, I won't ever again be able to watch a TV program. And that could be true--all the more reason to keep him around.
Oh, I've just thought of something I'm not good at and would love to improve, and that's wrapping packages. I've never learned to do those perfectly folded corners and impressive bows. Thank heavens there are boxes and bags these days so I don't have to display my deficiency so often.
HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: I am a great present wrapper, and a great ironer, and love to do both.
HOWEVER! There have been times when I have gone upstairs to where Jonathan is reading, and had to ask him to come down and turn on the television. NO idea. Roku, Amazon Fire, NO IDEA. When he's not home I barely can watch TV. Sometimes I can't even get the set to go on.
And Hallie, that is hilarious. I cannot fold at all. I can't even figure out how to hang towels on towel racks. In thirds, then flap them over? But then they are too long. In thirds, and then in half, then flap them over? But then they are too puffy.
I think I'll go watch TV. Oh. No.
JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: I am pleased to say I have mastered the feminine arts of ironing, folding and present-wrapping (though I don't enjoy the latter. In fact, I own the worlds largest collection of gift bags, and on Christmas morning, I make everyone hand me their bags as soon as the present is out and then I refold them and put them away that afternoon.)
What I'm inept at: the TV/blu-ray/VCR-DVD set up and their controls. If I want to watch a movie, I have to call one of the kids over to set it up for me. Pie crust, which is an embarrassment, as my grandmother and mother were expert
crust-makers. Candy. My mom used to make the best fudge in the world. Every time I've tried it, it comes out a hopeless blackened gludge. Or a rock.I also can't play chess to save my life. Ross loves it, and taught all the kids when they were young. He runs the school chess team for third-to-fifth graders! But me? I'm as hopeless as I am with poker ( I can never remember the hands or trumps or whatever they're called,)
SUSAN ELIA MACNEAL: Hallie, I also worked at the Gap, so I too can fold like a professional!
And I'm with Hank on the remotes and technology. We have gaming systems and all kinds of crazy things (I don't even know what they are) and I have to say the Kiddo is very patient at trying to explain it all to me. Again. And again.....
DEBORAH CROMBIE: I am so happy to see that we share the some of the same disabilities! I cannot fold to save my life. I am so covetous of perfectly folded sheets that I even bought a big thick book on housekeeping hints that had diagrams showing how to fold a fitted sheet. It didn't help. I'm hopeless. I end up with a big lump. T-shirts, forget it. I have friend who worked for Gap in college--I
used to get her to pack my suitcase for me. It was heaven.Nor can I iron. Are the two related? I can, however, wrap a very nice package. And do nice things with ribbon.
As for the TV, I can't watch the one in the living room unless Rick is home and can tell me which buttons to push on the universal remote control. There are at least sixteen steps to actually get to TV, and I can never remember them.
But, Hallie, don't hit me--I can actually make a fairly decent pie crust. Heaven knows why.
HALLIE: I won't hit you, Debs. I make a good pie crust, too. I just end up looking the Pillsbury dough boy when I'm done.
What about the rest of you out there? What do you really wish you could do?
