JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: Yesterday I saw a friend-of-a-friend on Facebook asking, "Have y'all started your fall decorating? What do you plan to do this year?" Well, I can tell you what I plan to do this year; the same thing I've done for the past four years - stick a single, uncarved pumpkin on my front porch with three hurricane lamps clustered around it. The lamps have lumpy, quarter-burnt candles in them that I will light again at 4:30 PM October 31st and blow out at 8:30. (I'll also have a large bowl of candy left out, because we have so few Trick or Treaters I would rather they forage what they like than having to deal with the dogs racing out of the door barking their heads off before collapsing in confusion.)
Here's the thing: I actually love artfully decorated porches. I do. I scroll though Instagram shots and magazine articles admiring them. The barriers I always come up against are 1) time and 2) money. I look at some of these over-the-top Autumnal Extravaganzas and think, "Who has the time to hang, wire, prop, stack and arrange all this - and then water the potted flowers every day and re-set anything the dog or kids inadvertently brushed against?"
Like the above, from Country Living. There's a LOT going on. I live in the actual country, and I can tell you, it doesn't look like this, unless the owners of that house also have a three cords of wood waiting to be stacked just out of the picture frame.
Or you could go for the extremely tasteful and subdued arrangement you find here, courtesy of Home Bunch Design. This homeowner gives out bags of roasted chickpeas to the neighborhood kids on Halloween.
Technically, Halloween is a separate decorating opportunity for the hard core home decor blogger types, but you can also put this kind of tableau, seen in Homecrux, up as early as - well, September 7, according to my FB friend. This is really cute, right? But take a look. At least one of the pumpkins is painted. There are four different twinkle light elements - how are those even plugged in? (I assume the skulls run on batteries.) And the candles! There are twelve candles I can see. Do you light them every night? And you know the people in this house aren't letting their candles get burnt and blobby looking like mine.
I mentioned number 2) money up above, right? Look at this absolutely gorgeous display from The Glam Pad. Anyone like to guess what that costs? Anyone? Don't forget to add in the fee for the floral designer, because I am 100% certain this is a professional job. One year I went absolutely nuts and got three flat, stacking pumpkins for the stone urns out front. It cost me $80! That's more than it costs for a half-day splitter rental from the hardware store (for splitting the cord of wood on my driveway, of course.)
This design from Rocket Homes? This I could actually do. I have a chair, black wellies, plaid stuff. (The other question I often have is where do people store the decorative items for the ten or eleven months of the year? Do you think the Halloween house above has a whole closet filled with glowing skulls and punny gravestones?) Of course, my black front door is a lot more scuffed than in this picture. And I'd have to move the snow melt and snow shovel into the barn for a while (don't judge.) Maybe I'll give it a try, and see if having a bit of fancy fall decor on my own front porch elevates my life... or turns me into a junkie haunting the sales at Michael's Crafts.
How about you, dear readers? Do dec? Or not do dec?
