Ugly Holiday Sweaters by Jenn McKinlay

 Jenn McKinlay: Show of hands, who owns one or more of these  delightfully over the top gems? 

This pic is actually from a jigsaw puzzle and I think those are cookies, which is probably the best way to display such holiday hoopla as then you can eat it and destroy the evidence instead of having it live in your closet forever.

Why am I mentioning holiday sweaters? Well, because someone got the great idea to have an ugly holiday sweater party at her friend's book signing. (Yeah, it was me.) Who is the unfortunate friend? Paige Shelton as we celebrate her latest release Winter's End. And, of course, we had to drag in Kate Carlisle as well. 

So, if you want to see our horrific sweaters, we'll be at the Poisoned Pen Bookstore at 2 PM MST today (Saturday, the 3rd) where we are giving prizes to randomly chosen sweater wearers or you can catch the live stream where we are also giving prizes to randomly chosen viewers who post a pic of their sweater in the comments: 

On Facebook: www.facebook.com/thepoisonedpenbookstore/live  or 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCTbRuLNmD8EhT4WrGGMVW-w

FUN FACT: Ugly holiday sweaters began in the fifties and were called "Jingle Bells Sweaters". I love that! Here's more history if you're interested: https://www.cnn.com/style/article/ugly-christmas-jumpers/index.html

Now confess, Reds and Readers, who owns one? Are you a lover or a hater?

Rhys on Traditions.

  RHYS BOWEN: We arrived home to California after the winter in Arizona and immediately started a big clearing out of closets and desks. Do I really need this? How many pens does John actually need? Why does he need to keep a flag from Sri Lanka? He is never going to fly it over our house (I hope).

This process has made me think of all the things we don’t use any longer. Jelly molds in the shape of a rabbit?  Uh no. Birthday candles (no. Buy when needed). Frosting in different colors (ditto). But it has also made me realize that the festive side of life seems to have disappeared. I bought a women’s magazine for the plane ride and it had all these wonderful ideas for Easter decorations–dying eggs, making centerpieces, cakes in the shape of a lamb or a rabbit etc etc.

Who does that any more? I did once dye eggs when the children were small, but I have never made a cake in the shape of a lamb, or made my own chocolate bunnies. Am I a failure as a mother, I wonder? (I did write a series of clues for each child to hunt for their Easter basket, and that went on to the grandchildren until they went away to college)

 On the whole our only celebration is a good meal for a birthday or holiday. The exception is Christmas when I do decorate the whole house. However I limit my baking to the traditional sausage rolls and mince pies. No more cookies or the Stollen I used to make. If I want baked goods, i’ll buy them.

In a way it’s sad that so many traditions are disappearing, simply because we don’t have enough time. Or is this just in America where we have all lost our roots? The Chinese community in San Francisco still has its famous festivals, so has the Latino with its Carnival. But being British we have no real holidays to celebrate:--the only one that comes to mind is Guy Fawkes Day and that's to celebrate the execution of the man who tried to blow up parliament. Hardly the most peaceful or joyous of occasions!

 

When I was a child they put up a maypole at my primary school on May 1 and we danced around it, weaving ribbons in and out. In England they still have village cricket matches, all the pomp and ceremony with the royal family, and village fetes in the summer, with booths selling baked goods and all the carnival games as well as races for children (egg and spoon race? Sack race?) They are a tradition in most villages still.  

I wonder if there will be parades again, this Fourth of July, which is as close to a holiday celebration as we get around here. I always enjoyed the local parades with decorated bicycles and cub scouts marching out of rhythm. We may have a family picnic. I may even buy red, white and blue plates and there might be fireworks. 

So who still celebrates holidays in a big way? Who still has family traditions? Do you think that most of these will be lost forever?

LUCY BURDETTE: I hope they won’t all be lost Rhys! Seems like some have gone to the wayside because our society is less formal than it used to be. Possibly less church-oriented too.  Growing up, we always had fancy meals with the same dishes for Easter, Christmas, Thanksgiving. Now our holidays are much more relaxed. Probably part of it is because our family isn’t close by, and the kids are grown. They carry on some of the traditions for their kids–Christmas stockings, Easter baskets…

As for me, I’m still baking all kinds of things! (I’ll happily take and use your birthday candles, Rhys.) And I know our town will have a 4th of July parade–it’s very charming and very well attended and we wouldn’t miss it.

 HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: Oh, it’s such a process, and doesn’t it depend a bit on whether there are children? Here in New England, July 4th is adorable, I have to  say. We love going to the LIncoln town parade, where they have marching moms and veterans, and junior high school bands and dogs and haywagons and old-fashioned firetrucks, and lots of proud veterans.  And lots of happy kids and dripping ice cream cones And the fireworks on the Esplanade, with the 1812 Overture and  booming cannons. Not to be missed. And ooh, I always have birthday candles.  Those things are markers, no matter how we celebrate.

JENN McKINLAY: I bake a bunny cake every year for Easter, and birthday cake upon request. At Christmas I am in a frenzy of baking cookies, usually. But there is a shift when the children get older. 

On the Hooligans’ birthdays, from the time they were little, I would decorate the house with streamers, a huge Happy Birthday sign and balloons, and while they were sleeping I would barricade their bedroom doorway with streamers and balloons so they had to bust their way out. So fun! But now they’ve moved out and we’re empty nesters…*sigh*

I think traditions just shift and change with the family. Although, if the Hooligans have kids, I really hope they barricade their bedroom doors, too, and keep the tradition going! 

HALLIE EPHRON: We did more when the kids were little. There had to be a homemade chocolate cake with chocolate icing decorated with nonpareils for each birthday. We colored easter eggs and ate chocolate bunnies even though we don’t celebrate Easter. My kids and grands troop over to watch the marathon runners when they race through Brooklyn and find a spot to watch July 4 fireworks, from a distance. At Christmas I make chocolate-covered orange rind and chocolate turtles. And we have our special dishes that I’m happy to make to celebrate special occasions.

We’ve all got our own traditions, some more elaborate and public than others. I remember being in London on Remembrance Day and having no idea why people were wearing poppies.

JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: Agreed about things calming way down after the children are grown. And let’s face it - all the baking and decorating and sign making and basket hiding: who is doing that? Women, that’s who. Tired women who just want a break after making holidays magical for 25 years. I love my family tradition of huge dinner parties on Christmas and Easter (and every third Thanksgiving) but honestly, it was nice to not have them during the past two years. 

Like Jenn, I hope and expect my kids will revamp our earlier celebrations when they get around to having their own children. I’ll show up with chocolate in a stocking/basket and enjoy admiring my daughters’ and

daughter in law’s hard work.

DEBORAH CROMBIE: I've never been much for holiday baking, and I think I can safely say I've never made a proper birthday cake. I somehow seem to have missed the gene, much I'm sure to my daughter's disappointment. I'm very fond of some of the traditions we do have, but most of those have really fallen by the wayside in the pandemic. We went out for both Easter and Mother's Day brunch this year, and that's a new tradition I'd be happy to continue–no one having to spend hours in the kitchen!

RHYS: I agree, Debs. Nothing that involves hours in the kitchen for me! But Hank is right about needing to have children around for traditions to be meaningful.

So who does carry on family traditions? Bunny cakes?

Fast Five For Future Function

Youngest...what a turkey.

JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: Okay, the future function is Thanksgiving, but I really, really wanted that alliteration. It’s less than three weeks away, and many of us are faced with a lot more choices than last year, when the big question for the day was “Should we buy a turkey breast for the two of us, or just say the hell with it and go with Swanson’s Frozen Turkey Dinner?”

Let’s dive right in, shall we?

1. Friends, family, or just you? Immediate family here, minus the Sailor and his girl, plus one or maybe more boyfriends (we’re definitely getting into that stage at Chateau Hugo-Vidal) and featuring special guests Victor and Celia Wakefield, whose daughter will be away this year.

 

2. Stoneware and whatever glasses you can find, or china and crystal? We do it up. We all know I’m a china/silver/monogrammed napkins junkie, now is the time to use it. I set a special holiday table last year, and I’m not sure we got out of pour pajamas for the meal.

 

3. Turkey: fresh or frozen? Rubbed, brined or whatever the newest thing is? I’m going to try to find fresh, but I need to pre-order fast. I’m willing to try whatever technique might make the bird more moist - I admit I’m not a great turkey roaster. (Never been underdone though, thank heavens.)

 

4. What’s your must-have side? For the kids: Himmel und Erde, a German mashed potato/turnip/apple dish. It’s also on deck for Christmas. For me… I don’t know, it may be the Alabamian in me, but I always crave a good sweet potato casserole swimming in butter and covered with glazed pecans. Better hope the weather holds for a post-prandial hike.

 

5. Potential Thanksgiving disaster you must avert? The ceiling over my dining table got soaked from a bathroom leak last month, mildewed, and the middle of three dry wall sections fell in. It looks BAD y’all, and we’re not spending any time in the living room just in case the mildew spores turn us into pod people. Josh the Carpenter swears he can have it fixed before the big day. Keep your fingers crossed.

Jenn McKINLAY:

1. Friends, family, or just you? 

It will be me, Hub, Hooligans and their Plus Ones. We might staycation it or vacation it - we haven’t decided but it will be the six of us, which is always fun as the Hooligans have chosen well.

 

2. Stoneware and whatever glasses you can find, or china and crystal?

Buffet style and probably stoneware as we’ll be off nature walking or something in and around the meal. Might even go to a restaurant! 

3. Turkey: fresh or frozen? Rubbed, brined or whatever the newest thing is?

As mentioned above, we might go to a restaurant or deep fry that bad boy. I have no idea. Seat of the pantsing here!

4. What’s your must-have side?

Pumpkin pie! What do you mean that’s not a side? Of course, it’s a side! LOL!

 

 

5. Potential Thanksgiving disaster you must avert?

 Setting the backyard on fire with deep fried turkey mentioned above. No one needs that drama.

HALLIE EPHRON:

Hallie's granddaughter knows the best part of the day

1. Friends, family, or just you?

Family! I’ll be in Brooklyn celebrating a delicious Thanksgiving with my daughters, son-in-law, and grands. What could be more perfect!?

2. Stoneware and whatever glasses you can find, or china and crystal?

Not my department!! Though I’m pretty sure there is neither china nor crystal to be had. Last year or so I gave them a pan to cook the turkey in.

 

3. Turkey: fresh or frozen? Rubbed, brined or whatever the newest thing is?

Guessing, frozen. Hopefully thawed. No one realizes how long it takes for something that big and frozen to thaw. Then seasoned buttered and roasted. The old-fashioned way.

4. What’s your must-have side?

Dressing! Pepperidge Farm seasoned, with onion celery and a ton of gravy. AND pies for dessert - 3 kinds (pumpkin, apple, and custard.

5. Potential Thanksgiving disaster you must avert?

Buying a turkey that’s meant for the soup pot instead of oven roasting. DisASter.

RHYS BOWEN:

1. Friends, family, or just you?

Family. Daughter and family plus other daughter from LA plus dog, hopefully eating outside in daughter’s glorious outdoor space. Son and wife decided it was too expensive to fly in and other daughter goes to in-laws. 

Last year we ate turkey outside at Sonoma daughter’s house. It was cold!

2. Stoneware and whatever glasses you can find, or china and crystal?

Clare will be hosting. She loves to set an elegant table. Best glasses and china. Also we are planning to make our own crackers with special gifts for everyone. Ambitious? Maybe

3. Turkey: fresh or frozen? Rubbed, brined or whatever the newest thing is?

Cage free. Organic. Not sure if she brines. We do!

4. What’s your must-have side?

Green bean casserole. I don’t really like it but am forced to make it for Son in law ( part of family memories). My favorite? Sausage meat stuffing

 

5. Potential Thanksgiving disaster you must avert?

There will be 3 dogs and lots of food on tables, maybe outside.

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: Um, I’m  worried about Thanksgiving.  I wonder what we’re celebrating, and it’s distressing.

1. Friends, family, or just you? It’ll be just us..and I’m not sure what we’ll do.  Maybe make a land acknowledgement? And think about history?

2. Stoneware and whatever glasses you can find, or china and crystal?  In holidays past, we’ve done it up big.

3. Turkey: fresh or frozen? Rubbed, brined or whatever the newest thing is? I do love turkey, and maybe this will all move it from being connected with Thanksgiving.

4. What’s your must-have side? Oh, gosh, mashed potatoes were a staple.

5. Potential Thanksgiving disaster you must avert? An anytime disaster: forgetting to take the paper wrapped giblets thing out of the turkey before cooking it. I have done this. Once. And once you do it, you’ll never do it again. 

LUCY BURDETTE

1. Friends, family, or just you? Neighbors this year, 5 of them. Everyone will bring something so the work will be spread out. And everyone’s vaccinated...the new low bar for guests!

2. Stoneware and whatever glasses you can find, or china and crystal? No crystal and china in Key West!

3. Turkey: fresh or frozen? Rubbed, brined or whatever the newest thing is? Gosh I hope it’s thawed by then...lots of butter, salt, pepper, onions and celery stuffed inside for flavor.

4. What’s your must-have side? Mashed potatoes and gravy. I’ll probably make cornbread stuffing, though I’ve toyed with the idea of Hallie’s Pepperidge Farm:). 

5. Potential Thanksgiving disaster you must avert? Discussing politics. Period.  

JULIA: Hank, if it helps, colonists up and down the Eastern seaboard were accustomed to having public days of thanksgiving. Lots of prayer, not necessarily feasting.  And our official date of the third Thursday in November comes from President Lincoln's proclamation of a day to give thanks for Union victories over Confederate forces. So... moderately qualified yay?

 

Now it’s your turn, dear readers. Cut-n-paste the questions below and share your Thanksgiving plans with us! (Canadians, I haven’t forgotten you - let us know what happened to you on October 11…)

1. Friends, family, or just you?

2. Stoneware and whatever glasses you can find, or china and crystal?

3. Turkey: fresh or frozen? Rubbed, brined or whatever the newest thing is?

4. What’s your must-have side?

5. Potential Thanksgiving disaster you must avert?