Forget Me Not

DEBORAH CROMBIE: We’ve been talking about our travel woes, especially the food (or lack of) on book tours. But I have another complaint. No matter how organized I try to be, there is always the last minute rush to pack up in hotel rooms, and things get left behind.  I have left socks (I tend to go to sleep in them and then kick them off in the middle of the night), my travel pillow, jewelry, phone chargers, books.

But this time, on the first leg of my book tour, I lost my Bluetooth headset on the very first day. (To be fair, I think that fell out of my purse in the Uber. Or maybe on the plane.)

Then, in St. Louis, I left my KINDLE! My beloved Paperwhite. And a pair of socks, under the covers as usual, I’m sure. Along with the Paperwhite, because I went to sleep reading. The Paperwhite cover was hot pink—you would think I’d have noticed it in the bed, but, no. I reported it to the Lost and Found website (I didn’t even know there was such a thing) Chargerback.com, but no success.

I’ve replaced the Kindle, this time with a bright YELLOW cover, but now I’m going to be really nervous about traveling with it—which of course is one of the major reasons for having a Kindle…

Yasu, thinking I should leave the new Kindle at home.

REDS, what’s the worst thing you’ve ever left behind in a hotel room? And did you get it back?

RHYS BOWEN: On one book tour I left 3 pairs of sunglasses in three successive bookstores. I took them off to sign books, put them on the counter and then went without them. So now I travel with cheepo sunglasses, terrified I'll leave my Raybans. I left a charger in a hotel, realized immediately and called them but no, they couldn't find it!  And I can't find my expensive headphones. I think they must have been left on my last plane flight. So annoying,

HALLIE EPHRON: Worst thing was leaving my favorite glasses in a toilet stall at Vancouver airport. I remember setting them on the toile paper dispenser and thinking: don't forget to take them with you. And then I did. Jet lagged, I suppose. Kindles are too easy to lose - they slide right out of your purse. I lost one on a plane, and swore never to buy another BLACK electronics item again. Ever. Because they blend into the carpet, the countertops...  My new kindle is white, but looking at Deb's comment, now I"m in the market for a yellow cover for it.

JENN McKINLAY: On a road trip cross country with my best friend, I left my wallet on the top of our car in Oklahoma. Someone mailed it back to my home in AZ with everything inside of it! On the same trip, I left my pajamas on the back of the bathroom door in a hotel in Holbrook, AZ. The hotel mailed my pajamas back to me. Granted, this was in 1996, maybe the world was friendlier and less light-fingered. In fact, it must have been because when I flew out of Kennedy in NYC to return to AZ, I didn't even have to show ID to board the plane - just my boarding pass. 

LUCY BURDETTE: These are all heartbreaking stories. I hate that you lost things you treasured. But I think I still win the prize for being a traveling knucklehead, by losing my passport along with my hard-fought visa in INDIA. (Here is the link in case you want to refresh yourself about that nightmarish saga.)
 

All I can say is that experience has made us double and triple check everything every time we pack up and leave. And from now on, we should all travel with Jenn who seems to have the best lost item Karma in the group!

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: Oh, this makes me so sad. I was on book tour in San Francisco. It was fleet week, something like that, so the publisher put me in in a "little boutique hotel." The lobby was adorable, chic and hip . But he rooms were..Dickensian. It was bad enough that they were DARK and that my room overlooked an alley where drunk people were sleeping, I am not kidding, but I decided to count my blessings that I was on book tour and it would be a good story. But then I got into the shower, and was dripping wet , and the fire alarm went off. Long story, but after this happened twice, I realized that the steam from the shower was setting off the alarm. Okay,  still funny. But then: there were flies. A BILLION FLIES.

I said--get me outta here, and I dashed to the airport Marriott, and in my wild haste, left my best little black book tour dress in the DARK closet.

I was so sad. I called an hour later, and it was...not there. Ah. I still miss it.

JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: Weirdly enough I'm pretty good at NOT leaving things behind in hotel rooms. I have a somewhat rigid (obsessional) protocol for unpacking and repacking my things, and I check over everywhere before I leave. My weak spot? Rental cars. I have left audio books (always just the one, irreplaceable CD, of course,) jackets, lip balm, sunglasses, maps and a folding travel umbrella.
The worst thing I ever lost was my complete book tour travel itinerary! This was in 2003 or 2004, when our phones were dumb and internet access on the road was rare and precious. (Remember internet cafes?) I was on my flight from Denver to California when I realized I had left the itinerary in my rental car. It had names of bookstores and booksellers, phone numbers and addresses and info on my rental car reservations... I was saved by Rachel Ekstrom Courage (now an agent at Folio Literary) who was then the very young assistant publicist at St. Martin's. She faxed the pages to my hotel in LA and I was able to go on my merry way.

DEBS: Oh, Hank, Kindles and even sunglasses are replaceable, but the little black dress--that's tragic.  (And I think I've stayed in the same hotel.) Lucy, I can't even think about your passport saga. What a nightmare!!

Readers, what have you lost on the road? And what's your fail proof method for keeping up with things?

Where did I put the...

ROSEMARY HARRIS: Some years ago - it was moving day. Out of a one bedroom apartment in Brooklyn to yet another one bedroom apartment in Brooklyn.

And there it was. In a dusty corner of the bedroom. The earring. The cool, black and brown enamelled drop earring that I had lost at least a year before. After a fruitless search I had, in disgust, thrown away its mate.

Finding that earring is probably the reason I now have a collection of single earrings..hanging on a pegboard... in a china cup...in a blue Tiffany pouch.

Apparently I will keep them forever in the hope that I will one day find their partners...under the bed, in a pocket or rarely used bag.

That's where I found the two necklaces I had all but given up any hope of ever finding again. In the outer zipped pocket of a gym bag. I was overjoyed. Even though I had bought a necklace identical to the one that was missing.

Right now it's my camera. Who loses a camera? I had just finished teaching a class at Norwalk Community College and had taken a very cool picture of Donald and Renee Bain. (The Bains are not suspects.)
I will probably look for that #$%^ camera until we move. Or sell the car.

How long do you keep looking for things when they are lost???

RHYS BOWEN: I misplaced (refuse to say lost) a credit card last week. It was one that I take out of my wallet when I travel. I know I must have put it somewhere safe and sensible but I've looked and looked everywhere. So we had to ask for new cards. But I bet it will turn up where I least expect it.

I'm a great fan of asking St Anthony to help find something I've lost and sometimes the results are amazing. I lost my watch and searched everywhere, but when I asked St. Anthony there it was in a drawer of my jewelry case--where I know I would never have put it!

My best long-term find--I lost the sapphire from my ring. Was sure it had gone down the shower drain. Months later we had a new house cleaner who said, "I just found this blue stone. Is it important or is it just glass?" Now I had definitely cleaned the house in the months between. And I am always finding earring backs in my bedroom carpet. Next time I'll get a smooth carpet. This one is too shaggy.

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: At first, I frantically look. EVERYWHERE.

But if the thing does not appear, I stop.  I just--stop, because it is not meant to be found, and the panic of looking makes it disappear even longer. So at some point, actually, pretty early on, I give up. Looking does not help. The thing is somewhere, of course. And it will reappear when the time comes.
Let me just say again. Looking does not help.

The only thing that has never resurfaced are my darling kitchen curtains from when I lived in Atlanta and moved to Boston.. That was 1983. I think those are gone.

We will not discuss The Borrowers, which I am convinced do exist.

HALLIE EPHRON: Oh, Ro, I keep orphaned earrings, too. And very often the mate turns up. Over the years I've lost many pieces of jewelry, including a pearl ring that flew off my hand while playing volleyball. Never to be found. And a (small) diamond fell out of my wedding ring. Such an awful feeling when you look down and see those vacant prongs.

My mother-in-law was great at finding jewelry. She once sat down on a park bench and found a diamond ring. And we were walking with her once in Central Square in Cambridge and there on the sidewalk in front of the fire station she found a very large Victorian cameo brooch. 

ROSEMARY: Gorgeous pin! I probably would have lost it by now...
So how long do you look for things??

ROSEMARY HARRIS: I hate to lose things. 

I know...EVERYONE hates to lose things. But I REALLY hate to lose things. In fact, I'm still looking for things that I lost years ago, because I can't believe that they're not here somewhere - under the bed. In some drawer or jacket pocket that I haven't checked.

I can remember looking for things on moving day - thinking that something misplaced would miraculously reappear as if to say okay we'll stop torturing her now. Or here I am!

I was rewarded for my persistance 2-3 years ago when two necklaces that I'd somehow "lost"  FIVE YEARS EARLIER were found in a duffel bag I was about to throw out. It was a miracle.

It was also the event that will probably mean that I'll continue to look for lost things....forever. Someone once said that when you die all your old pets come to greet you. I hope so. Lady, Clyde, Running Fox, Piccadilly, Leon, Tommy and Patrick  - hi guys! 

With any luck they will be carrying all the gloves, scarves, earrings, ipods, credit cards, umbrellas, wallets, laptops, eyeglasses, keys and pens I've lost when they greet me....

How long do you continue to look for lost things??

JAN: I received a beautiful pair of earrings from my sister-in-law on Christmas Day. Lucky I put them on and wore them that evening, because when I wore them Monday night, I lost one. I've lost so many things, I don't even get upset

anymore.

I try to tell myself that Matter Doesn't Just Disappear, but I don't believe it.

I actually think it's a conspiracy against me. As if the universe is stealing my valuables, or just messing with me mentally. Once I lost a diamond earring in my bedroom. I felt it fall off and immediately began the search. Bill and I searched the bedroom a dozen times. We still haven't found it.

But I've come to think that there are certain things that are just eminently lose-able. Earrings are obviously an issue for me. But when the kids were little, it was pacifiers. I'd have a dozen of them, but whenever I desperately needed one, I couldn't find any. Then I'd come across three under the sofa cushion when the baby was sleeping peacefully with three more of them next to her in the crib.

Now, it's guitar picks. I have a ca

rved box in the living room where they belong. They are always gone. And none in the guitar case either, or stuck in the strings. Two days later, I'll find one in my son's pockets when

I'm doing laundry. Or in my wallet. Or on the window sill.

Reading glasses?? Come on, don't

you secretly think there's someone out there removing them from your nightstand, coffee table or purse?? Or are there other things in your life that have a way of slipping behind the shelves?

RO: I can't believe you're blogging about this because this was going to be my next rant. No one likes losing anything, but I HATE it. And I have a hard time shutting up about whatever it is that I've lost - an expensive pen, my sister's two necklaces which I lost in 2005 and always wore together (one, yes, two?..I smell conspiracy.)

And I never stop expecting to find the missing item. I can remember moving out of an apartment many years ago and thinking - ha! I'll finally find that earring! Didn't happen. These are not misplaced items, these are the well and truly gone, beamed to another planet, never to be seen again things. How does this happen?

Last year on tour, I was at the airport in Philly and couldn't find my driver's license - my only picture ID. Somehow I finessed the security guards, got on my flight and had my husband overnight my passport to my hotel. But it drove me nuts. how could I lose my driver's license? Six months later I found it. It had slipped between the lining and the leather of the bag I was using. THAT'S why you never stop looking.

Now, whenever I'm looking for something and ask my husband if he knows where the item is, he says "it's with your sister's necklaces." Do you think he means "shut up, already"?

HANK: Ah, this is hard. I agree, nothing is really lost. It can't be lost, it exists. Still, if you don't have it, it's lost to you. And it's so frustrating, because you keep going back to the time when it wasn't lost--and

how did it cross over into the land of the lost? And why didn't you stop it?

And how about my Mom's famous question: Where did you lose it?

Still, when its not our own stuff, isn't there a women-can-usually-find it thing? I mean this morning, Jonathan said: Where's the mayonnaise? I said, fridge, door, lower left. No, it isn't, he said, I can't find it. You do not need me to tell you what happened next.

(But I know that's different than losing earrings and pens. Last night at din

ner, no two nights ago, I wore mismatched earrings, because on the costume-jewelry level, they are all I have left. Not kidding.)

HALLIE: Mismatched socks. Mismatched gloves. I have an entire basket where they live because hope springs eternal that the missing mates will show up. I wish there was a way to put a expiration date on the orphans so I’d know when to throw one out.

And what about that horrible feeling when you realize you’ve lost your purse? I remember having the exact same feeling when I went to the mall for the first time in years WITHOUT a daughter in tow. I knew something was missing, but it took me awhile to figure out what it was. Some things don’t go missing, they just grow up.

ROBERTA: yes, I lose earrings because they're too uncomfortable to keep on for long and soon the squeezing pain outweighs the urge to be stylish. I find them in pockets, in my car, in my husband's suit jacket... Yes, Hank, in our household we say "use your looking skills" when something is hidden in plain sight.

I will never forget years ago my grandparents came to visit me. They'd been in their room a long time so I finally went to check. They had lost their keys and were going through every item in their suitcase, frantic to find them. I pointed out that they'd pinned them to one of the pockets so they wouldn't get lost. Scary, scary, scary to think I'm closer to that than I ever could have believed!

Oh, and more way to lose things--on my computer when I save them to the wrong file. Very, very nervewracking...

JAN: So have you been losing stuff all your life? Do you cede your possessions to the universe or are you like Ro, expecting that if you just keep searching a little bit longer, you'll find it?