Jungle Red Nails!

JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: Here at Jungle Red Writers, we're not afraid to take on the most topical issues in the news. The World Cup, the Supreme Court, hurricane season, I.S.I.S - nothing stops us from debating the burning topics of today.

But wouldn't you really rather talk about nail polish?
I was laid up with a 24-hour migraine a few days ago - we've had a round of illnesses and accidents befall the Reds recently - and one of the few consolations I had was looking at my manicure. Yes, I am that shallow. My nails are done in "For Audrey" by China Glaze, a shade that comes as close to Tiffany Blue as copyright will allow. They look like the bottom of a pool in August, and I swear, having pretty nails makes writing more fun.

I try to keep my nails up year round, since, like a lot of us who type for a living, they break and shred if not protected. But in the cold season, I tend to very neutral and discreet shades with a little shine, like China Glaze's "Fast Track" and Sally Hansen "Gilty Party." 

When summer (finally) rolls around, however, my nails are ready to party. I like shockingly bright blues, corals and greens. And of course, I have to have color (usually contrasting) on my toenails, since I spend all summer in sandals and flip-flops. I actually had a moment at the first BBQ of the season we attended when I realized every other woman had a nice pedicure, and there I was, with my sad bare winter toes, bringing the tone down. I was embarrassed. (I told you I was shallow.) I've remedied that with a tomato-red polish (Sally Hansen "All Fired Up") that can be seen from up to a block away.

So, Reds, let's talk nails. What do you use? Do you go for fancy effects? Do you have an aspirational polish or a secret to the perfect application? Here's mine:

If-money-were-no-object-product: Scotch Naturals Nail Polish. Toxin-free, paraben-free, biodegradable and they have lovely colors in absolutely beautiful bottles.

My nail secret: I don't get professional pedis. Ross does my nails for me. He says it's just like painting the Revell battleship models he did as a kid.
SUSAN ELIA MACNEAL: Loooooove mani/pedis! But not that into polish — I know it's a small thing, but I don't want toxic chemicals on my body or to add anything more to the pollutants in the environment. I usually do my nails myself, but once-in-a-while splurge for a professional job — love buffing as an option to polish for shiny nails. Julia, I'll have to check out Scotch Naturals — that sounds great!
DEBORAH CROMBIE: I've never been able to do my own nails, in any color. Lack of manual dexterity is my excuse. And I can't keep regular nail polish on my fingernails more than a day, if that. But a few years ago my right thumbnail started splitting vertically. I tried everything to fix that nail, even Super Glue (and yes, I take all my vitamins...) It is apparently a permanent fault line (you West Coasters know about that) and I've since discovered other people that have them. So I started having my fingernails done in acrylic, which was a huge pain in the bum. When shellac polishes came out I thought I'd died and gone to heaven. I have my fingernails done in shellac and my toes in regular polish. The only problem is getting the colors to match. I tend to wear plums and magentas in the winter, blues and greens in the summer. And I love my deluxe pedis!!!  I had a manicure in London, something I've seldom done because it's so expensive, at Julie's in Notting Hill Gate. Such fun!
Oh, and check out the nail art on my toenails, done by lovely Lily at my local salon. She outdid herself!

PS Julia, remember the scene in Bull Durham where Kevin Costner does Susan Sarandon's toenails? Sigh...

JULIA: I know, right?

HANK: Ohh, yes.

RHYS BOWEN: Manicures are mostly a waste of time on me. I sit in the shop thinking of all the things I could be doing. Then I come out with perfect nails, try to do a spot of DIY and one nail has already chipped. Doomed to failure I'm afraid.

But I do love a good pedi. Sitting in a chair that massages my back with my feet in warm water is very nice, especially when I do it with my daughter or a friend in the next chair and we chat.
And one of my small mysteries of life is why my toes look great in red nail polish when they are done at a professional salon and they look as if a small truck ran over them when I do them?
LUCY BURDETTE: I don't bother with fingernails anymore because I have to keep them so short to type. But once a month I love a pedicure! I walked on the wild side for July 4:). Though she did first try to talk me into blue.

HALLIE EPHRON: Every Christmas Santa leaves me a bottle of nail polish in my stocking. It’s a tradition. Don’t ask. The upshot is that I have about a dozen used-once bottles of nail pollish. I love getting my nails done but I truly don’t have the patience for it and almost immediately ruin them. Toenails are harder to ruin so I do paint them in the summer. Never thought about toxicity. Yikes!

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: Rhys, you cannot do it yourself, that's why. It's impossible to use the non-dominant hand to do the other hand, and besides, one hand will always be wet while you're doing the other. And if you get a ding, you cannot touch up. Give up. And toenails, forget it, It's just physically not possible. It's not a DIY deal.
I am so used to my red-nailed manicure (OPI "Malaga Wine") that I feel weird without it. And you know fuddy-duddy me--when I decide to GO WILD I use something crazy unusual, like "Day at the Beach," which is sort of sand colored. (Incredibly brave, right?) I have to admit feeling a little embarrassed to have a pedicure (though I do it regularly)--it seems too indulgent. Although obviously it doesn't stop me.
Gel!  (Same as shellac.) A life-saving thing. I'm all about gel now, cannot do without it, it lasts three weeks and is impervious to everything. My color is...Number 33. Which is red.

And sisters, I cannot deal with blue. Or green. Sorry, but I think fingernails can be red, pink, tan or french. End.  And you know there's a color made by Nars called JUNGLE RED, of course. But it's--brown, seems to me.

JULIA: How about you, dear readers? Conservative or crazy colors? Buffed, natural, acrylic or gel? And does a nice mani or pedi make you feel as good as it does us?

Perfection at my Fingertips

Sylvia Fowler: [Showing her nails to Mary] Mary, how do you like that?
Nancy Blake: Too, too adorable.
Sylvia Fowler: Ah, you have no idea how it stays on. I get it at Sydney's... A wonderful new manicurist, Olga's her name, she's marvelous.Isn't that divine? Jungle Red!
Nancy Blake: Looks like you've been tearing at somebody's throat!

JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: Global climate change. A contentious presidential primary. Afghanistan's a mess. The economy's on life-support. Clearly, it's time to talk about...

Manicures. Sorry, guys, I know you were hoping for a discussion of the Sweet Sixteen, but Ross's beloved Hoyas went down to defeat on Sunday, so we're not talking about college hoops in deference to his loss. I've been thinking about manicures a lot lately -- perhaps because the weather's been so unusually warm (that's going to be the extent of our climate change discussion) and warm weather always means bright, happy nails for me.

When we went off to Florida two weeks ago, I gave myself a quickie pedicure because I realized the day before we left that I'd be showing my feet in public for the first time since August '11. Every since then, I've been admiring my own toes; even when they're only uncovered long enough to take off one pair of socks and put on another, the cheerful coral is like a memento of those warm, sunny days.

Then, last week, my youngest daughter and I spied a sign outside the local day spa. In a bid to get more new customers through the doors (that's today's economic analysis, if you're keeping count) they were running a gel manicure special -- only $20.

Now normally, I'm pretty much a D-I-Y nail painter. I like to change up my color frequently, plus? I'm cheap. But I'd been reading about the super-hard, super-shiny gel manicures that lasted for up to three weeks, and I thought, why not? So Saturday, Youngest and I went in. I selected Cajun Shrimp, a creamy red with coral undertones, and she got Pompeii Pink, shimmery and purpley and suitable for a 6th grader. The nail technician painstakingly applied layer after layer after layer, each of which was baked by ultraviolet light. At the end of the process, my nails looked like someone in the Rolls Royce factory had been hand-lacquering and sanding them. They gleamed. They shone. They looked both expensive and bulletproof.

I had to go home and change my outfit to something worthy of my manicure. Even now, as I type this, I am stopping to admire my flawless fingertips. I'm already planning my next visit. Because if it really does last three weeks, that averages out to less than the cost of a cup of coffee per day. Small price for having one thing in my life that is absolutely, unquestioningly perfect.

How about you, Reds? Manis? Pedis? Or is there some other small beauty treat that makes you feel like you could conquer the world?

LUCY BURDETTE: I was a fiend for painted nails in my earlier incarnation, but now I have to keep them so short, they'd just look silly. The tiniest little extension of fingernail gives me tendonitis when I type--ridiculous!

I've never been a big fan of pedicures--until I tried having one by a pal from exercise class. My feet have never felt so good--and I had no fear about absorbing germs from the masses. My sister-in-law did make fun of me for choosing a color that was pale, pale, pale--next time maybe I'll go wild and ask for Jungle Red:).

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: Gel. Rules.
And we are SO au courant, Reds. Did you see in this Sunday's NY Times a whole article on gel manicures? I must say, I am completely won over. My fingernails are now happily #33, which isn't as compelling as Cajun Shrimp but at my neighborhood mani place, the gels are by number. But you know me.It's Jungle Red, if I ever saw it.

It really does last three weeks--but I'd say, actually two, because your nails start to grow out, and it looks a little strange. But it does not chip, does not crack, and is impervious to everything far as I can see. I have actually researched whether there's any health drawback to it, and, interestingly, some people suggest wearing little cotton gloves with the fingertips cut off under the UV light that it needs to harden, because you are baking your hands in, essentially, sunlight. Some salons actually put sunscreen on your hands.

I can imagine some of the Reds HOWLING with laughter. I know, more than you wanna know. But hey. I vote this is a good thing.

DEBORAH CROMBIE: Daughters are dangerous, Julia! Mine got me hooked on pedis a couple of years ago, and like any addiction, there is no going back. I love my Vietnamese nail salon (I'm wondering if the Dallas area is world capitol of Vietnamese nail salons?) and even if I can only afford a polish change, I keep my toes done from March to October (flip flop weather in Big D.) But the Deluxe Pedicure? With sea salt scrub, minty clay wrap, and hot stone massage? Absolute bliss. Makes me feel like a million dollars.

I did a gel manicure for the first time before my book launch in February, and you're right--it looked like the finish on a Rolls Royce. I did a dark purple, so it showed when it started to chip at the cuticles at almost three weeks. Next time I'll do a lighter color and maybe can go four weeks. Unfortunately, our salons charge more than $10....

Thanks for the frivolous boost!

JAN BROGAN - I love pedicures - because they last at least three weeks without the gel. I had my love affair with gel manicures last fall - it was awesome how great they looked for how long, but then I had one that left my nails looking like they'd been digging weeds in the Sahara, so I haven't been back. Like we are talking serious NAIL ABUSE. I think, though, it probably depends WHERE you have them done.

I'm pretty much into anything that smacks of vanity, but like Roberta, I have to keep my nails short. I play acoustic guitar, which those nails are always wrecking a chord, so I don't have a lot of incentive to keep them painted. I also get fidgety in the salon, unless of course, it's an event, and I take my daughter. I think pretty much everything you do is more fun when you have your daughter with you (more expensive, too, though.)

RHYS BOWEN: I have the world's most depressing finger nails. They break and rip and have to be kept short. I've had a few manicures in my life but I'm lucky if they last for the big day before they chip. However, I have never tried gel. Maybe this time...
But pedicures are something else. MY daughter took me to my first and I loved the massage chair, the foot massage and the red-purple polish lasted until it started to grow out. Now it's close to sandal season in Arizona I might think of another visit to the salon (why are they all Vietnamese? Did you ever see the famous skit?)

ROSEMARY HARRIS: Of course I love the look of a pedicure but I am really really squeamish about anyone touching these little piggies. I've had two friends tell me they'll never go with me again because I embarassed the heck out of them by squirming as if I was being tortured. I do the best I can on my own and stay with pale pinkish beige on the tootsies. And between gardening, baking and the keyboard most manicures don't last long for me. Plus my nails grow ridiculously fast, like my hair.

As it happens I watched The Women this weekend and got a kick out of the flashing jungle red nails - but my fave nail polish scene in a movie (and kudos for getting that shot from Scarlet Street) is from Lolita. James Mason polishing Sue Lyons' toenails - oh dear!

JULIA: How about you, dear reader? Do you have a standing appointment at the salon? Or does your nail routine consist of a set of clippers once in a while? Let your hair down and dish -- after all, getting your nails done is a great time to catch up on gossip!