'Til Death Us Do Part: The Reds and Houseplants

JENN McKINLAY: I’m a killer…of house plants or as I call them “soon to be deads”. For the past few years, I have tried to up my house plant game. It’s a traumatic experience, mostly for the plants, because I have a real hit or miss with growing things in pots. For some reason, if I stick a twig in the ground outside, it’ll grow like gangbusters. My peach tree is mental and annually produces hundreds of peaches, but if I put a plant in a pot inside, it's suddenly on borrowed time. 
I try everything, regular watering, decent light, spritzing with a fine mist, but some plants just shrivel up and die while others bust out of their pots and require a bigger home, like a hermit crab looking for a new shell. I have yet to figure out what I’m doing wrong or right, but I am determined to keep trying. My sister-in-law Natalie can grow anything in a pot or in the ground. She inspires me (with envy) every time I visit her magical gardens.

My sister-in-law Natalie's Christmas Cactus

My Christmas Cactus

How about you, Reds? What's your houseplant damage?

HALLIE EPHRON: I'm pretty good with houseplants, but my philosophy is, if they don't thrive, they're compost. Hey, it just wasn't meant to be. What I have to be careful about is overwatering. And at the first sign of scale, OUT. I'm hit and miss with orchids. 

My daughter will be moving soon into an apartment where she wants plants, so I've been propagating mine. Here's the two plants I started for her. A begonia Rex that I started from cutting from a plant that was started from a cutting of a friend's plant. And an African violet started similarly, from a cutting from a plant that started as a cutting. 

Propagating Hallie!

LUCY BURDETTE: I'm pretty good with houseplants too. And here's my tip--don't overdo anything, especially water. And don't be afraid to give them a haircut. I had a gorgeous rosemary plant that began to die off, leaving only one little stalk green. A friend advised me to cut everything else off and we did. Here's what it looks like now--happy as a clam in silt. Hallie, I want an African violet slip next spring, ok?

Lucy's Rosemary

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN:  Dead dead dead. Dead. I should learn from the reality that the only ones that live are the ones I don't care about . so ignoring them seems to be the key. I had a truly ugly poinsettia that I got free from the grocery that lived for THREE YEARS.  But! I have one success, and that is this African Violet that Rosann Coleman (Reed Farrel Coleman's wife) gave me as a house gift. It has bloomed several times a year for four years, and it is so happy!  (For whatever mysterious reason.)My orchids live, because I give them four ice cubes a week, if I remember. But I am better with cut flowers. I really take care of them, and no pressure, because they will inevitably die no matter what I do. SO basically? Unless someone gives me a plant, forget about it.  

Hank's Violet

DEBORAH CROMBIE: This is something I don't have to worry about too much, because I have a plant-eating cat. The only things I can have are orchids, which seem to do pretty well and do not tempt the cat, and the Boston ferns I bring in from outside and hang in the sun porch for the winter. Usually when the ferns go back outside in the spring, I buy new ones for the sun porch so that the room doesn't seem so bare, but this year they were horrible and I gave up on them after a couple of months. And, yes, the cat eats any fallen fern leaves, too. And barfs.

Deb's Ferns!

INGRID THOFT: Hank, I think your African Violet is so happy because it’s from Rosanne!  Of course, it blooms!  I have a pretty good track record with indoor plants with the exception of one.  This plant (and truth be told, I don’t know what is is) has been battling an infestation of white, gunky stuff for some time.  I treat it with insecticidal soap, and it still isn’t happy.  Luckily, it has kept its condition to itself, but I fear it will jump to the healthy plants.  One of my favorite things about indoor plants?  Shopping for beautiful pots to put them in!

RHYS BOWEN: I think I'm okay with house plants or would be if I was home for a nice long stretch. But alas I move between California and Arizona and spend time in Europe in the summer, not to mention book events, conventions etc. I leave some house plants with my daughters, who kill them or like them and forget to return them. A few small favorites get transported with me between houses. If I'm gone more than three days forget it... that's what John does. Forget to water plants. I've never kept an orchid alive to bloom again, but I can just manage African violets.

JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: It's a funny thing. I never used to be able to keep house plants alive. The only living plants we had were a Christmas cactus that Ross took care of and a couple friendship plants that are pretty much impossible to kill.

Then Ross passed away, and suddenly I had a green thumb.

I have geraniums that have survived and flourished. Begonia and impatiens that were only supposed to be porch plants for the season. Succulents and philodendron that multiply. The Smithie has a theory: she thinks I have an absolute limit on nurturing, and husband, three kids, two dogs and two cats used it all up. Now I'm taking care of fewer of them, I have more mojo for the plants. I dunno, she may be on to something.

JENN: I was catching up to the rebooted Murphy Brown (I love that show then and now) and she was talking about taking up gardening in retirement but "It wouldn't be fair to the plants". I hear you, Murph. LOL!

Okay, Readers, tell us your secrets, successes and failures with houseplants? All tips, tricks, and advice welcome!