What does that mean? I'll tell you...but a little background first. Sometimes I go in directions I never imagine when I’m writing, and end up adding a subplot that I certainly didn't plan. For example, in DEATH ON THE MENU, food critic Hayley Snow is checking out a suspect and discovers that he is a Hemingway wannabe.
And then while googling and studying up on Hemingway, I learned that there actually was a contest for "Really Bad Hemingway" in which contestants submitted a page of bad Hemingway-esque writing and prizes were awarded. So then of course I had to write a page that this character had supposedly written.
Here’s how it went, starting with Hayley chatting with her suspect:
“Fun fact: did you know there is a contest for bad imitations of
Hemingway’s writing?”
I shook my head.
“You should Google it—there are some snippets posted online and they’re a hoot. I entered a couple of years ago and got an honorable mention.”
“You entered a bad Hemingway contest? Do tell!”
He laughed. “Of course I have it memorized for moments like this. I called it ‘A Farewell to Harm,’ and it went like so:
He had hired the guide again after one too many women gone wrong. ‘You drink too much,’ the woman said. ‘You stink of beer and fish.’
The man and the guide had been at sea for hours, and reeled in two marlin. Both of them were big as Spanish bulls and that strong too; heaving silver bodies, that glinted in the sunlight and left the man and the guide breathless.
‘Let’s have a drink,’ the fishing guide said, though he knew the man’s history. ‘One drink won’t hurt you.’
‘OK, but only if it’s rum and beer. And only if you pour the rum slowly so the foam resembles the beach at low tide.’
‘Not until five. The tide won’t run out until five PM,’ the fishing guide said. ‘That’s when you see the foam.’”
By the end of Rusty’s recitation, I was laughing too hard to speak.
“You should Google it—there are some snippets posted online and they’re a hoot. I entered a couple of years ago and got an honorable mention.”
“You entered a bad Hemingway contest? Do tell!”
He laughed. “Of course I have it memorized for moments like this. I called it ‘A Farewell to Harm,’ and it went like so:
He had hired the guide again after one too many women gone wrong. ‘You drink too much,’ the woman said. ‘You stink of beer and fish.’
The man and the guide had been at sea for hours, and reeled in two marlin. Both of them were big as Spanish bulls and that strong too; heaving silver bodies, that glinted in the sunlight and left the man and the guide breathless.
‘Let’s have a drink,’ the fishing guide said, though he knew the man’s history. ‘One drink won’t hurt you.’
‘OK, but only if it’s rum and beer. And only if you pour the rum slowly so the foam resembles the beach at low tide.’
‘Not until five. The tide won’t run out until five PM,’ the fishing guide said. ‘That’s when you see the foam.’”
By the end of Rusty’s recitation, I was laughing too hard to speak.
So I thought it would be fun to have a contest right here, among all you clever Red readers. Put on your Hemingway fishing caps and post your best Hemingway-like paragraph in the comments. We have a great prize package for the winner including Lucy Burdette's DEATH ON THE MENU, a hardcover copy of Deborah Crombie‘s GARDEN OF LAMENTATIONS, a copy of Hank Ryan’s SAY NO MORE, Ingrid Thoft's LOYALTY, a paperback copy of Jenn McKinlay's DEATH IN THE STACKS, and a copy of Hallie's YOU'LL NEVER KNOW, DEAR. We will announce the contest winner later in the week.
On your marks, pencils and keyboards ready, go!
And ps, please come to Brookline Booksmith on Wednesday at 7 pm to hear about both new books and meet five Reds at once!
Or come to RJ Julia at 7 pm on Thursday the 9th in Madison CT, where Rhys and I will chat and sign books and eat cake!
About the
book: Lucy Burdette, Death on the Menu from Crooked Lane Books
Food
critic Hayley Snow is thrilled to be working at a three-day international
conference at the Harry S. Truman Little White House. But
things get off to a bad start when Hemingway’s Nobel prize gold medal (which
belongs to Cuba and is on display for this weekend only) disappears. And they
only get worse when a body
is discovered in the storeroom. Hayley must spring into action before the killer adds another
victim to his menu.
“There’s a lot to love about this series—deft plotting, likable
characters, and an ending that always satisfies. But one of the things I love
the best is how the author transports her readers to Key West with every page,
describing real landmarks and restaurants with such realism that I feel I’m
actually there. Magical and delicious fun!”—Suspense Magazine
"Fascinating details about the Truman Little White House,
Cuban American history and relations, Cuban food, and Hemingway’s years in Key
West are woven through this atmospheric cozy."—Booklist
“Burdette’s loving
descriptions of food and the appended recipes are an added fillip for readers
who enjoy some history and romance with their mysteries.”—Kirkus Reviews
“Tightly plotted, with plenty of island-style red herrings and
mouth-watering food-prep descriptions, DEATH ON THE MENU is also full of
friends helping friends, and the sweetness of love.” –Kingdom Books
You can buy the book wherever books are sold.
You can buy the book wherever books are sold.
