ROSEMARY: That's a fun song from Carousel which was the class play one year when I was in high school. Of course, all the smart alecs in school pretended the next line was "June better get a new dress!" We were a clever lot.
But that's what I felt like this week as I packed for North Carolina. It wasn't yet summer in Connecticut but it had arrived with a vengeance in NC where, I was told, it had been hovering near 100 degrees the previous week.
I still had velvet curtains up. I had no idea where my summer clothes were. Most likely in another state. I had no choice - I had to go shopping :-)
So my question is, is there a woman alive who really looks good in these capri pants that are like trousers but short? I'm not talking about the baggy long shorts which remind me of what we used to call (geezer alert) clam diggers - and generally wore to the beach. I mean these weird short pants that make your butt look as big as all outdoors. The ones that's it's virtually impossible to find the right shoes for. And since no one can tan anymore show your skinny white chicken legs sticking out. In my day we used to laugh at at people whose pants were too short. We were also a sensitive and caring lot.
I guess I haven't gone shopping for a while. I was expecting linen pants, diaphanous skirts, cute sundresses that didn't hit mid-thigh. What I got was weird shorts. Weirder still - I bought a pair. After visiting 4 stores and losing interest in the project ("so I'll sweat a little..how hot can it be?") they started to look reasonable on me. With a long top, maybe they'll work.
Wrong. In the loose ones I looked six months pregnant. And in the skinny ones I looked like a puta. So now I'm in NC and luckily it's not 100 degrees because I'm wearing a denim jacket over the dopey shorts so I don't look either pregnant or like a hooker. It better not get hot tomorrow.
So I repeat..does anyone look good in these things?
