Cure for a Headache?

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: Ever had a migraine? I wish I could see your hands going up. I did, years ago, had them all the time and they are awful. They aren’t just headaches. They’re—brutal. (Happily, knock on wood, mine went away.) So I was sad to hear that the brilliant and adorable Kendel Lynn had migraines. Not as sad as she was, of course. But now she’s discovered…well, let her tell you.

Why didn’t someone tell me sooner?

                                by Kendel Lynn

I recently received the cure to my migraines. Maybe not a cure, but an 80% reduction. For someone with migraines occurring 25-27 days per month for the last 2 years, an 80% reduction is a cure. As I marveled over this miracle, I thought, why didn’t someone tell me sooner! Good Lord in heaven, why aren’t people shouting from the rooftops and splashing it all over social media? As a writer, a researcher, and a human with an internet connection, I’ve spent many an hour/day/desperate 2 a.m. effort to find such a cure.

Then I realized, I’m not spreading the word, either. So here I am, sharing it with you. Yes, in my world, a single Jungle Reds post is rooftop shouting.

My headaches started two years and quickly flipped from two or three days with a headache to two or three days per month without. Over the course of 18 months (using my acute detective skills and the help of a handful of doctors), I/we ruled out sinus headaches, tension headaches, stress headaches. Eye strain? (New prescription, I now need 3 different glasses to get through 1 day, but nope.) Teeth grinding? (New mouth guard, I sleep better, but nope.) Then a neurologist promptly and precisely handed down his diagnosis, including the ailment and the origin.

 

Migraines and perimenopause. Migraines? Really? Wait, what the? I’d never heard of perimenopause. My fingers did their keyboard tapping and there’s so much good news! Frequent fatigue, weight gain, mood swings, hot flashes and warm flushes. (As a matter of fact, I do spend half my day asking if it’s warm in the office.) The best part? It lasts up to ten years! Hallelujah, PTL!

Firstly and foremostly, I tested and eliminated triggers: chocolate (oh how I wish it weren’t so), high doses of sugar (goodbye cupcakes for breakfast), and even went gluten-free (not entirely sure this helps, so I’m gluten-free-adjacent).

 But it was a suggestion from a friend of a friend who suggested the cure: 250 mg of magnesium daily. That’s it. It took about 2 to 3 weeks to replenish my system, and my migraines now only occur about 3 or 4 times per month, and only last a couple days each.

I’m not going to lie. The last 2 years have been a struggle. Along with writing (my latest book came out last week!) and all that goes with it, I also run the editorial department at Henery Press, a publishing house I co-own. Which means all kinds of entrepreneurial and business items must be handled daily. And because a simple 65-hour work week wasn’t enough,

 I started a new chapter of Sisters in Crime (North Dallas), and currently serve as its president. (The 1.5 hour drive to Ft. Worth was way too long, so starting a new chapter from scratch seemed the obvious answer.) I always get my work done (I am a Capricorn), but sometimes it takes a little longer. Some days are 12 hour days instead of 8, some days I just have to go home.

I’ve learned to cut myself slack, let myself off the hook, give myself a break. I can only do so much and I can’t feel guilty or stressed because I don’t feel well and things slip by. Oh yeah, there’s mild forgetfulness and depression wrapped up in perimenopause, too (the hallelujahs just keep on coming).

I find this experience isolating, but I know I'm not alone. I’m surrounded by a village. My partner who often does so much more than his fair share, a bff at the ready to talk me off the ledge, a caring staff to make me feel special when I'm having a particularly bad day (like for my birthday at my favorite PF Chang’s!).

Magnesium may not work for everyone, but it’ll help someone. It helped me and I’m forever grateful and I’m passing it on. So tell me, my peri/post/full-blown menopausal sisters, any miracle cures you'd like to pass on? Advice, tips, tricks? Something to boost my sagging metabolism so I can finally lose these extra 5 lbs I've been dragging around? (Full disclosure: it's closer to 15 lbs.) Fine. (Actual full disclosure: it's damn near north of 20 now.)

Thank you, Reds, for hosting me, and thanks to you and your readers for listening and advising and letting me rooftop shout. Today one commenter wins double: Two (SIGNED!) Board Stiffs for the price of one (free)! The first Board Stiff (an Elliott Lisbon Mystery) is by me, and the second Board Stiff (a Dead-End Job Mystery) is by one of the nicest and most genuinely funny people, Elaine Viets.

HANK: So, Reds. It may be a first ever—but it’s headache day at Jungle Red. Anyone? 

(And my tips? Ah. No "white" food. Bread, pasta,  rice, potatoes. And for me, that meant even no white wine. And water water water. I could tell my migraines were coming because my shoulder would start to hurt. So weird!)  

Kendel Lynn is a Southern California native who now parks her flip-flops in Dallas, Texas. Her debut novel, Board Stiff, was an Agatha Award nominee for Best First Novel. It features Elliott Lisbon, a mostly amateur sleuth who has a slight aversion to all things germy and is only five thousand hours away from getting her South Carolina PI license. The latest, Swan Dive, released last week! Along with writing, Kendel spends her days as Managing Editor of Henery Press editing, designing, and reading subs from the slush pile.

Kendel Lynn: Making Genuine Connections

SUSAN ELIA MACNEAL: Welcome Kendel Lynn and congrats on that Agatha Award Nomination for Best First Novel for BOARD STIFF! And also on the publication of the sequel, WHACK JOB. The pub date was May 13, so it made its debut at Malice Domestic along with Kendal — a usually solitary writer who had reservations about spending so much time with people.


But at Malice, they're Mystery People — they're "our" people. 

(My favorite quote of Kendel's from this post is: "a good friend is someone who will help you move, a great friend is someone who will help you move the body." Amen, right? And can we get this on a tee-shirt and/or a coffee mug?)

And now here's Kendel, talking about Malice, comfort zones, and friends.

KENDEL LYNN: Returning from a weekend 
at Malice Domestic, I’m afloat with memories, 
inspiration, and a book filled with notes to self. I think I’m like most writers in that I’m more comfortable spending my time tucked up in my room, snuggled in pjs, reading, writing, watching tv, staring at the ceiling – anything other than three solid days networking with semi-strangers. And by solid, I mean from a 7:30 a.m. breakfast until swigging the last cocktail near midnight. Three. Days. Straight.

But there’s something magical and lovely  and personal about connecting with your own people. The ones who also would rather be tucked away in a corner. And that’s why we do it. Why we take the risk, push ourselves outside our comfort zone, stretch our social abilities. Because these connections matter.

After a hard day of mean girls in high school, a friend’s mother gave me a snippet of wisdom I’ve carried with me to this day: not everyone will like you. How liberating! To know that on my very best day, with my very best self, some people just won’t like me. And vice versa. That girl at school who every single person likes and I can’t stand, it’s okay. Not everyone will like her, either. I was probably the lone holdout.

The point: You don’t need everyone to like you, because not everyone will. You just need to be yourself. Be genuine, and you’ll end up connecting with those who “get” you. Your humor, your writing style, your totally adorable orange shoes.

In this time of cyberspace domination, it’s easy to connect with online. But connections become so much more meaningful when we spend time face to face. A hug, a laugh, a disappointment, a hot beverage. Those moments elevate a connection to a friendship. 

Most will be of the share a comfortable meal sort, some will be of the stay up late and swap stories sort, and maybe you’ll find that rarest of sorts, the one who knows the story of your divorce or who helped you break into a closed amusement park so you could get a picture of the very spot where you met one of your first loves. 

As was shared at Malice: a good friend is someone who will help you move, a great friend is someone who will help you move the body.

I made some of my strongest connections because of Sisters in Crime, 
specifically the Guppies. I reached out five years ago to the group and asked if anyone would read my first chapter and offer suggestions/ feedback. I was nervous to put myself out there, but I did it anyway. 

I received over fifteen responses, including one from Jungle Reds very own Hank Phillippi Ryan, who emailed me to ask for my phone number. She called with encouragement and advice and I’ll remember that day forever. 

Another connection: I met my closest, dearest, move the body bff, Diane Vallere, who still inspires me and impresses me and amazes me. Those fifteen generous Guppy connections helped strengthen my debut mystery, BOARD STIFF, which was an Agatha Award nominee for Best First Novel this past weekend (like how I worked that in?). 

Another note to self: A thank you to Grace Topping. She introduced herself to me at Malice as one of those fifteen readers. She again congratulated me after the banquet, even though I didn’t take home the teapot. I enjoyed spending time with her and was able to thank her in person (and then let her know that maybe next time when critiquing, she should do a better job…)

So my advice: Make the connection, and then meet the person. I’m grateful for my connections and for my friendships. I go into this knowing that not everyone will like me. And I’m okay with that. I don’t want to miss a chance at a genuine connection by trying to be something I’m not. I try to be kind, be friendly, but most of all, be myself.  




SUSAN ELIA MACNEAL: Reds and lovely readers — do you go to conventions? 

Do you like meeting people and making new friends — or would you rather be reading at home in your PJs? (No judgement here...) 

Is it hard to do and then you're glad you did it afterward (raises hand) or is it something you look forward to and relish?

And, in big crowds, how do you make genuine connections?

About Kendel Lynn:

Combining my fifteen years of entrepreneurial savvy with my ten years of designing, writing, and editorial experience, I launched Henery Press, an independent publishing house for mysteries — and I’m loving it!  I’m a girl blessed.

My debut novel, Board Stiff (Henery Press, April 2013), won several literary competitions, including the Zola Award for Mystery/Suspense. For a sneak peek into Elliott Lisbon, my not-quite-so-amateur sleuth, check out the prequel novella, Switch Back in Other People’s Baggage, where she encounters murder and mayhem in the land of Texas barbecue.

Read more about Kendel Lynn at her website, follow her on Twitter, and add her on Facebook.

Does The Chicken Have a Name? (or: How does Kendel do it?)

Hank Phillippi Ryan: I'm trying to think of what to say here. At first I thought "funny", because Kendel Flaum is one of the funniest people (and authors) ever. But "funny" doesn't do it, because

Kendel Flaum is also a visionary, an entrepreneur, a risk-taker, and a whirlwind of ideas and projects. And  there's still more..she's  tireless and nimble and imaginative and generous. And if you don't know her or her books or her publishing company--well, good, because that's why you visit Jungle Red! 

HANK: When people say—what do you do for a living—what do you say? Or maybe, finish these sentences: Kendel Flaum is: and Kendel Lynn is:

KENDEL FLAUM:
Kendel Flaum is: The managing editor of Henery Press.

Kendel Lynn is: The author of BOARD STIFF, the first in the Elliott Lisbon Mystery series.

I generally answer based on who’s asking. Or I end up mushing them together into something jumbled as I ramble about writing and editing, but it doesn’t matter because they were just being polite anyway.

HANK: You are so…brave, on so many levels. You started a publishing company, you dumped your big time agent, you...well, talk about your decisions, and why you made them.

KENDEL: Like most, I spent years getting that big time agent. I wrote and queried and revised, and when the offer came in, I was truly overjoyed and delighted when my book went out on submission.

At the same time, I was involved in several writers groups, some focused on alternative publishing options, like small presses and DIY models, boutique agents and publishers. As I listened to their experiences, I was appalled most of the options: horrifying contracts, scary too-quick to market publishers (FOUR WEEKS!), AWOL editors, out-of-date websites. There are only a handful of solid, legitimate houses. The mystery market needs better choices.

So I created one--Henery Press.

My business partner and I wanted something fresh, engaging, and fun. A community where we help our authors put out the best book possible, and they help one another achieve their dreams. And there’s a chicken in rain boots for a logo, so of course we’re successful.

My big-time agent was unable to sell my book to big-time New York publishing houses,  she wanted to start on smaller targets. I took a pass, putting my eggs in the Hen House basket, figuring I might as well join the fun.

HANK: Your debut novel—BOARD STIFF—where did that come from? Tell us about the wonderful Elliott Lisbon…

KENDEL: I spoke at Malice Domestic this past weekend, and a nice lady who sat through my chatfest told me it was clear I really loved Elliott, that it showed in the way I talked about her, and I do! She’s the director of a well-funded foundation on a South Carolina island filled with wealthy, eccentric residents. Elliott has a slight aversion to all things germy and is only four thousand hours away from getting her PI license. One reviewer said she a cross between Stephanie Plum and Monk. I also think of her as a mash-up of Kinsey Millhone and Archibald McNally. Serious when she needs to be, and sassy when that doesn’t work.

HANK: So I read this on your website—“I’m left-handed, prefer cupcakes for dinner, and would love to eat In-N-Out every single day. I can spot a bug on the floor across the room even with the lights out and I really hate shopping.” You are hilarious! And that sense of humor really comes through in BOARD STIFF. Do you think about “funny”?


Kendel, Hank and Diane Vallere at Malice


KENDEL: This is a total fan moment. You were the first established/successful/famous author to tell me my writing is funny, several years ago. Talk about a boost! You so generously volunteered to read for me, then called me to give me encouragement, advice, and truly made my writerly life exciting.

I don’t usually think about humor when I’m writing the draft, and it’s such a surprise when I read it back and something makes me laugh right out loud. I do try to the temper humor, though. I don’t want to wear out the reader. But it’s kind of fun to wake up in the middle of the night with a really hilarious tidbit, scribble it out, then giggle about how funny I am. Only to discover it makes no sense in the morning.


Yay for Susan Boyer! Henery's first Agatha Winner!


HANK: Henery Press—so rocks! And congratulations on your debut author Susan Boyer, whose delightful LOWCOUNTRY BOIL won the Agatha for Best First! What’s it like being a publisher?

KENDEL: I know!! What a dream night – it was like being at the Oscars. I was so totally thrilled for Susan and her LOWCOUNTRY BOIL. She deserved it, and I’m lucky she took a chance on me to be her publisher. We talked often before she signed, about our vision, commitment, where we were going and what we wanted to build. Sometimes those leaps of faith work out.

I enjoy publishing, even though it feels like I’m juggling wet cats most of the time. It’s very deadline driven. Each book has about fifteen different deadline milestones to hit before publication, so with another twelve books due out this year, we’ve got a lot of deadlines. Luckily, every book is at a different stage, so some of those cats are cute little kittens (while others are mean old cats).

We try to pioneer, look at things differently. From promotions and reviews to content and distribution. Since it’s our own venture, we can do what we want, in our own way, and not follow any set convention.

HANK: How do you possibly manage your time?

KENDEL: Lists. Lots and lots of lists. I have an entire wall of my office covered in to-do lists, one for each book. There’s something extremely satisfying about grabbing my blue marker at the end of the day and making little x’s on each sheet. I build wiggle room into every schedule, for every person who needs to work on each project. Henery comes first, but I pencil in writing time at the end of every day. And for those days that don’t go as planned, I eat cupcakes. (So yes, I eat lots and lots of cupcakes.)

HANK: What are you looking for as a publisher?  (Sorry, I'm imagining wet cats...)


Are these adorable or what? Win one! See below. 


KENDEL: Tightly-written, well-plotted, page-turning whodunits. I tend to enjoy humorous mysteries the most, with Southern charmers right behind. I’d love to get my hands on a magical mystery, a fast-paced traditional PI novel, and another crafty killer series. But truly, any engaging story that grabs me and won’t let go is exactly what I’m looking for.

HANK: What do you know now that you didn’t before?

KENDEL: I’m learning and growing with each day, and I love it. Writing, querying, submitting can be a heartbreaking, soul-crushing experience, but it’s important to take control of your career. Pull yourself up, make different decisions, take some chances. It’s empowering and invigorating and who cares what anyone else thinks? My biggest lesson I’ve learned: do what’s right for you and the rest will follow.

Hank, you’re an amazing mentor and a true super star. Thank you for sharing your wisdom, friendship, encouragement, and time with me – I don’t know how you do it, but I’m so glad you do!

HANK:  Awww...my complete pleasure. And let's give away some loot to a lucky commenter! Kendel says:   "How about a signed copy of Board Stiff (very valuable), plus a Henery Press mug (we commissioned an artist to paint them, they are numbered and signed!)."


So--questions for Kendel? Anyone want to name the chicken? (Or, Kendel, does the chicken have a name?)


ABOUT KENDEL LYNN

Kendel Lynn is a Southern California native who now parks her flip-flops in Dallas, Texas. She read her first Alfred Hitchcock and the Three Investigators at the age of seven and has loved mysteries ever since. Her debut novel, BOARD STIFF, won several literary competitions, including the Zola Award for Mystery/Suspense. Along with writing and reading, she spends her time as the managing editor of Henery Press where she acquires, edits, and figures out ways to avoid the gym but still eat cupcakes for dinner.

ABOUT BOARD STIFF

As director of the Ballantyne Foundation on Sea Pine Island, SC, Elliott Lisbon scratches her detective itch by performing discreet inquiries for Foundation donors. Usually nothing more serious than retrieving a pilfered Pomeranian. Until Jane Hatting, Ballantyne board chair, is accused of murder. The Ballantyne’s reputation tanks, Jane’s headed to a jail cell, and Elliott’s sexy ex is the new lieutenant in town.

Armed with moxie and her Mini Coop, Elliott uncovers a trail of blackmail schemes, gambling debts, illicit affairs, and investment scams. But the deeper she digs to clear Jane’s name, the guiltier Jane looks. The closer she gets to the truth, the more treacherous her investigation becomes. With victims piling up faster than shells at a clambake, Elliott realizes she’s next on the killer’s list.