Twerk? On dirtier dancing...

Got to know how to pony
Like Bony Maronie
Mash potato, do the alligator
Put your hand on your hips,
Let your backbone slip
Do the Watusi
Like my little Lucy
Came up in this party time to twerk
Twerk, twerk, twerk, twerk...

HALLIE EPHRON: Unless you're living under a rock, by now you've heard about Miley Cyrus's provocative performance, "twerkin" it out in her skivvies on TV at MTV Video Music Awards. By comparison Lady Gaga was tasteful, peering at the audience through an egg-shape cutout in a white square of oaktag, wearing a white nun's habit (festooned with strands of tasteful pearls) and stripping to a black spangled body suit. 

I only know this after the fact, and you know only a cultural seismic anomaly could get me out on the Internet looking for a YouTube video of Miley Cyrus and Robin Thicke. He's the one with the stripes; she's the one with the tongue.

Apparently the fitness folks are already on it: the Twerk Out. (Sounds like something for the Zumba Madam to take note of.)

Back in the day, I thought I was pretty provocative bumping and grinding (aka dancing) the Watusi and the Jerk. This is, order of magnitude, how shall I put it... dirtier dancing.

How about you? Are you shocked? Amused? Oblivious? Is this just same old same old? And 'fess up: have you had your moments of abandon on the dance floor?

ROSEMARY HARRIS: Anyone remember the Lambada - the dance of love?! I do..;-)

People have been bumping and grinding to music since we came out of the trees. They didn't call it "twerking" which I understand is a term that's been around since 2000, not just since last Sunday. I was o/o/t for the infamous performance but confess that I Googled it just to see what all the fuss was about.

Good grief..the girl has lost her mind. The hair alone should have been a tip-off.

If I were Robin Thicke I'd have been pissed. I love that song. "You're a good girl..." Hello...IRONY.


LUCY BURDETTE: You won't be surprised to discover that this is the first I've heard of Miley Cyrus. My reaction? I don't think it's a critical success to have your bum compared to Lady Gaga all over YouTube.:)

But really, what was more fun and sexier than the Twist?

ROSEMARY: Penelope Cruz, standing still in a red dress (or a schmatta for that matter) is sexier than that lunatic was.

HALLIE: And, I might add, sexier than me doing the Twist.

RHYS BOWEN: To me it was very sad. It was someone desperately clinging to some limelight, no longer Hannah Montana. I thought it was pathetic and disgusting. Unfortunately there is such a driving force these days for young girls to be sexy. My daughters have a hard time finding clothes that don't have messages like Hot Babe all over them. And then they wonder that girls wind up pregnant at 15!

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: Oh, it was pitiful. Pitiful! I wanted to watch, but Jonathan voted for Silk, and won.

But I agree with Ro, I looked for it on YouTube. I mean--so disturbingly sad. I read an article saying it was powerful, somehow, that she was proving women could do anything. I suppose--but if you can, you don't HAVE to. You should see what the interns in my office wear. Are we fuddy-duddies? Even using that word proves I am, I guess.

Is there any way a child star can grow up without being destroyed? And too bad for InSync,whose reunion (do we care?) was completely upstaged.

(Sadly, maybe, I just had to answer a questionnaire about what was on my ipod playlist. Um..nothing, really. What an uncool answer.)

JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: I, of course, knew all about Miley Cyrus because my youngest girl was a HUGE Hannah Montana fan. Seeing her "performance" was... is there a word that means deeply embarrassed for someone who doesn't know enough to be embarrassed for herself?

It also made me deeply grateful there was no internet around when I was young. I would have hated to have my own flailing, awkward attempts to "prove" I was a grown-up preserved for all time in a meme like Miley Cyrus Twerks on Famous Paintings.  If I were Miley's mother (and I am grateful I'm not) I would try to get her out of showbiz for a few years. Let her go to college and work out her issues at house parties and under-twenty-one clubs, where her worst exposure might be some pictures on Facebook. Plus, she might eventually learn enough to understand she has more to offer the world than her body.

As for abandon on the dance floor - when I was Miley's age, I was slamdancing and pogoing to the Ramones. No wonder my knees are shot now.

DEBORAH CROMBIE: I couldn't quite make myself sit through all six-some-odd minutes of this video--and no, I didn't see it in real time--I was watching SILK. My first thought--what was Robin Thicke, who is a really talented musician--thinking???  The second thought was EEWEUW! (Is that the correct way to spell the expression of horrified disgust?) Now, I know that these things are cyclical--remember the furor over Elvis the Pelvis? Or over the Beatles shaking their mop-tops?

And I've actually been able to give the Bieber a little leeway over the crotch-grabbing in his performances because he actually can sing and dance.  But Miley? She should just disappear from the planet for about ten years. How old do you have to be to learn that less is more? Just look at the tango. What could be sexier than that? Definitely NOT Miley Cyrus.

And Julia, OMG, I hadn't seen the Scream meem.  Maybe Miley should disappear from the planet for about twenty years...


HALLIE:  I asked a 30-something friend about Miley and here's what she said: "I just thought she looked dumb. Silly. You felt bad for her, like the girl who drinks too much at the party and someone should take her home and put her to bed."

All I can say is Walt Disney must be spinning in his grave. Miley was, after all, Hannah Montana once upon a time. Where's Annette Funicello when you need her? On Walt's advice, she eschewed a bikini on Bikini Beach.

Next time, Miley should ask herself: What Would Annette do?