We are so lucky that he agreed and that they will both be visiting in the comments! Welcome Matthew and Alicia… (and Kingly) (And there's a giveaway, so be sure to add a comment to be entered.)
MATTHEW QUICK: Back in 2004, after Alicia and I sold our first home, quit our jobs, and publicly declared our efforts to become “real fiction writers,” we had the opportunity to spend a morning with a well-established painter, whom we had met once before and looked up to as a “real working artist.” I shared my big news, saying I was fully committing to writing fiction and taking the leap.
The painter smiled and said, “Wonderful. Congratulations.” Then, to my wife, he said, “Now what will you do while your husband writes novels?”
Alicia said she was going to be a fiction writer as well, at which point the painter looked back at me, shook his head sadly, and said, “You’re screwed,” only he used stronger language.
The ominous comment made me deeply uncomfortable, perhaps because I had no idea why he was making it. The subject was promptly changed, but Alicia and I have since revisited that conversation many times.
I remember reading an essay in which the writer—was it Anne Lamott?—says something like, everyone in a family gets to be crazy, just not at the same time. And fiction writing—both the actual creative process and the publishing process—can definitely provoke states of temporary madness. In my experience, the writing life is fraught with a few dizzying highs and a few more crushing lows. But there are also the in between states where nothing much happens at all. The voids are where the majority of the writing life is lived, and are often filled with neuroticism that shows up in the form of questions.
Why isn’t my agent and/or editor getting back to me? Is this manuscript sellable in the current market? What is TikTok and why does it make certain books sell? How does the Writers Guild’s health insurance point system work and will I be covered next year? Why haven’t I been able to figure out how to read my royalty statements even though I’ve been dutifully trying for fourteen years now? Did my parents ever really love me? Why do people like this or that book so much more than they like my book? Should I even be perusing Goodreads at this point? Am I too old-looking now in my author photo? How big of a disadvantage is being an introvert in the modern world? Will I have enough money to live comfortably in X amount of years? Should I hire a publicist? Is it time to write that book I’m most afraid of writing? Am I loveable? Should I keep writing? What is the point of all this?
Because we are both writers, Alicia and I have to take turns asking and answering all the above. We have learned that it’s best if we don’t simultaneously spout neurotic questions, because it can start to get really confusing. Who is playing the neurotic? Who is wearing the therapist’s cap today? And who gets to be the neurotic four days a week? Who only gets three? How do we split the division of psychological labor?
All joking aside, I’ve come to believe that the painter was trying to warn us. The creative process demands a lot from an individual, who will undoubtedly need to be supported as they attempt to defy great odds and make a living by crafting and selling art. For most of us, it’s not easy. And when you marry a fiction writer, you double all the highs and lows.
Sometimes the lows of your partner are harder to take. For instance, I’d much rather read a bad review of one of my books than to see someone publicly take down my wife’s work. Same goes for walking into an event space and seeing poor attendance. And the scoreboard of sales. I can often keep expectations for my own publications in check, while my hopes for Alicia’s pub days will always soar high and free as purple martins dancing in the end-of-the-day sky. And as any seasoned novelist will tell you, it’s always best to remain cautiously optimistic.
There are some wonderful upsides to being a fiction writer married to another fiction writer. Alicia and I have a symbiotic writing relationship. Her strengths are my weaknesses and vice versa. I’m a big picture / idea guy by nature with a knack for structure. Alicia is much stronger than me on the sentence level. I can easily understand a character’s motivation and Alicia has no trouble bringing a character’s world to life with poetic language and beautiful imagery. And so—through the editing process—we elevate each other’s work.
When we were first struggling to “make it” as fiction writers, back in the early days, there were bumps in the road. We didn’t always know whose day it was to be neurotic. But we have since matured and now work as a team that prioritizes having as few neurotic days as possible. That doesn’t mean we never get emotional at the same time, because we totally still do. But we now recognize the red flags and can say, “Ah, we know what this is,” and then work to be simultaneously sane and supportive. In this way, we have made a life together—and it is the writing life. We wouldn’t have it any other way.
Are there any writing couples whose work you read? Are there any creative couples reading this post? Novelists, could you ever see yourself marrying another novelist? Why or why not? Non-writers, do you face similar challenges? Let’s discuss.
Matthew Quick is the New York Times bestselling author of The Silver Linings Playbook—which was made into an Oscar-winning film—and eight other novels. His work has been translated into more than thirty languages, received a PEN/Hemingway Award Honorable Mention, was an LA Times Book Prize finalist, a New York Times Book Review Editors’ Choice, a #1 bestseller in Brazil, a Deutscher Jugendliteratur Preis 2016 (German Youth Literature Prize) nominee, and selected by Nancy Pearl as one of Summer’s Best Books for NPR. The Hollywood Reporter has named him one of Hollywood’s 25 Most Powerful Authors. Matthew lives with his wife, the novelist Alicia Bessette, on North Carolina’s Outer Banks. Read more on his website.
PS from Lucy: Matthew is not on social media, but he does send out a monthly personal email about his journey through life and writing. You can subscribe right here.
About WE ARE THE LIGHT: Lucas Goodgame lives in Majestic, Pennsylvania, a quaint suburb that has been torn apart by a recent tragedy. Everyone in Majestic sees Lucas as a hero—everyone, that is, except Lucas himself. Insisting that his deceased wife, Darcy, visits him every night in the form of an angel, Lucas spends his time writing letters to his former Jungian analyst, Karl. It is only when Eli, an eighteen-year-old young man whom the community has ostracized, begins camping out in Lucas’s backyard that an unlikely alliance takes shape and the two embark on a journey to heal their neighbors and, most important, themselves.
From Matthew Quick, the New York Times bestselling author of The Silver Linings Playbook—made into the Academy Award–winning movie starring Jennifer Lawrence and Bradley Cooper—We Are the Light is an unforgettable novel about the quicksand of grief and the daily miracle of love. The humorous, soul-baring story of Lucas Goodgame offers an antidote to toxic masculinity and celebrates the healing power of art. In this tale that will stay with you long after the final page is turned, Quick reminds us that guardian angels are all around us—sometimes in the forms we least expect.
About WE ARE THE LIGHT: Lucas Goodgame lives in Majestic, Pennsylvania, a quaint suburb that has been torn apart by a recent tragedy. Everyone in Majestic sees Lucas as a hero—everyone, that is, except Lucas himself. Insisting that his deceased wife, Darcy, visits him every night in the form of an angel, Lucas spends his time writing letters to his former Jungian analyst, Karl. It is only when Eli, an eighteen-year-old young man whom the community has ostracized, begins camping out in Lucas’s backyard that an unlikely alliance takes shape and the two embark on a journey to heal their neighbors and, most important, themselves.
From Matthew Quick, the New York Times bestselling author of The Silver Linings Playbook—made into the Academy Award–winning movie starring Jennifer Lawrence and Bradley Cooper—We Are the Light is an unforgettable novel about the quicksand of grief and the daily miracle of love. The humorous, soul-baring story of Lucas Goodgame offers an antidote to toxic masculinity and celebrates the healing power of art. In this tale that will stay with you long after the final page is turned, Quick reminds us that guardian angels are all around us—sometimes in the forms we least expect.
