Reality Monday

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: Well, Reds? I have no idea. Jonathan and I are not budging from our house. I bought lentils. I don’t even like lentils. I take my temperature every day. Twice. My hands are raw from washing them. (I have since learned that moisturizer is okay.) I am doing TV stories via Zoom from my study. (The lighting stinks.) I am trying to write a book, and I am having a very hard time focusing. On anything. 

Everything is so bizarre that it replaces every prior use of “bizarre.” An ex-intern of mine, she’s maybe now 26? Just emailed me that she’s visiting Boston two weeks from now, and did I want to meet for lunch

I gasped. LUNCH? MEET FOR LUNCH?

But for today--is this what we want to talk about? Jungle Red is such a treasured place for us to be together. We’re used to not seeing each other, right? And we’re used to talking about everything. And we will be here. This is our community. So what should we talk about today? Reality or distraction?

HALLIE EPHRON: I find my mood swinging from terror to obliviousness. We’ve just never seen anything like this before. Reality? What even IS it?? I’m sure the full impact hasn’t hit me. I know, I know, that’s not what’s going to keep us from jumping out the window.

Jerry and I have been Facetiming our granddaughter for a few hours each morning. I teach her math and reading; Jerry does science and drawing. It’s really been sweet, though her little brother (4 years old) keeps melting down in the background.

I can only do reality for so long, then I need distraction.
JENN McKINLAY: Welp, my people are all under foot. I try to tell myself that someday I’ll look back on this time with gratitude for hours spent together. Sure. The reality is that trying to write while the interruptions are many is giving me what? Strength of character, the patience of a saint, or a slow burning frustration that may erupt on the unsuspecting? I’d go with all of the above. 

Today, needing distraction, I forced the fam on a nature walk to get them out of the house. I should have locked the door after them but instead I went with them on a hike through the desert and

This is not Jenn's bunny. This was in Hank's yard.

enjoyed the earthy smell of spring, the feel of the warm sun on my face, the sound of the birds chirping, and the sight of the bunnies and ground squirrels darting and dashing in the brittlebush and creosote plants. I noticed we were all much more relaxed upon our return home, so I highly recommend distraction!

JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: Oh, Jenn, that sounds so nice. I’m just now recovering to a point where I could go on a walk for pleasure and the weather’s been unrelentingly gray and wet here in Maine. I’m actually looking forward to being about to tackle my bete-noir: the yard work!!

In many ways I feel staying at home hasn’t hit me yet because I’ve been sick. But as I get better… Friday evening I asked the Smithie if she wanted to go get take out pizza, and she looked at me like I suggested ordering BBQ Puppies. Even pointing out it would be helping a local business didn’t budge her. Instead, I took the money I would have spent and bought a giant bag of dog food (online, of course) to be delivered to our local animal shelter. So I feel pretty coronavirtuous. Still wish I

had a large Greek pizza, though.

DEBORAH CROMBIE: I am all for distraction. This last week has been quite an adjustment, to say the least. There has been lots of online grocery shopping and cabinet organizing going on here. It seems like everyone I know is organizing their pantries!

Otherwise I’m very fortunate to live so close to my daughter and her family, so that we can talk over the fence and go for six-feet-apart walks. And my daughter keeps me entertained by posting daily videos of my four-year-old granddaughter, who is loving having mom and dad home. She wakes up every morning full of enthusiastic plans for all their activities for the day. We should all take note!

Today, I’m hoping to settle into the “new normal” and get some writing done. 

RHYS BOWEN:  I think it’s the uncertainty that is harder than anything to take. John and I are self isolating. I’m nagging about washing hands and “no. You may not just pop to the Dollar Store for tissues!” Our daughter Clare is wonderful and brings fresh baked bread, groceries as well as chocolate and wine. So it’s a pleasant imprisonment and I actually have tons of work to do— book to finish and page proofs ( and tax at some stage).  It I’m enjoying some time for treats too. And Britbox- working my way through every British mystery series!

And chatting with friends online makes it so much easier.

LUCY BURDETTE: You are lucky that way Debs! We have been Facetiming with our kids and trying to keep spirits up. We are especially worried about our daughter and our nephew, both ER docs in LA on the front lines. I can say I have gotten almost nothing done in the writing department, though I have been cooking! Hope to turn that around this week because anxiety about something I can’t control is such a waste of time…

We take paper towels soaked in Clorox when we

go out and I wipe down the door handles and elevator buttons every morning. We are lucky to be able to walk and bike in this nice weather. Actually things will be getting a lot quieter in Key West, as visitors have to leave today. I have always despised dystopian books and movies, just FYI.

I read such a good article in Medium today about this pandemic. Here’s a snippet that rang very true, spoken by a man who’d been held as a prisoner of war. The interviewer was interested in why he’d survived when others didn’t: “I never lost faith in the end of the story, I never doubted not only that I would get out, but also that I would prevail in the end and turn the experience into the defining event of my life, which, in retrospect, I would not trade…

“This is a very important lesson. You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end — which you can never afford to lose — with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.”

That tension — between the faith that we will prevail and the brutal facts of our current reality — became known as the Stockdale Paradox. It’s what Brené Brown calls “gritty facts and gritty faith.”

And it is exactly what we need right now.
 I recommend the article to you. https://medium.com/@kailacolbin/how-we-will-get-through-the-pandemic-58b0440cd388

HANK: Lucy, thank you for that. It is very

difficult to consider. And no one has any answers. And I agree, sometimes I forget--and then I remember. But dearest ones, what would you like to say today? Or share, or think, or add? Here are the crocuses that just bloomed in our front garden. We are all here.

Is There Such a Thing as TOO SAD?

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: I flew from Boston to Phoenix to Boston in 24 hours last week, which was so much fun (I saw Rhys and Jenn, too!). But on the flight back,  I was fidgety. Trying to read, but nothing seemed good.  So I flipped though what I'd downloaded on my phone, and found a book Roberta had recommended, The Storied Life of A. J. Fikry.  Okay, I thought. Now's the time.

I started reading. I was enchanted. SO sweet, and so clever, and so literary, and sometimes I laughed out loud. Then, the moment came. I got to 61 per cent in the book, and thought--UH OH.  This is gonna be SAD.  And...I stopped reading it. I cannot read sad things, I simply can't, and if I do, I wind up upset for days. So don't tell me what happens, because of course, I could be wrong.  But I don't want to find out. 

I can't watch sad movies, either. I have not seen Beaches, or Steel Magnolias, or Fried Green Tomatoes, or..well, you name the sad movie, I have not seen it. Schindler's List? Oh, dear, no. Life is  Beautiful? Forget it. Up?  No, no no.  I cry so hard, and then my face gets puffy, and then I have to go to sleep, and the next day I have residual sadness. 

How about you Reds and readers? How do you feel about deliberately making yourself sad? (Or is that the wrong way to put it?)  What's the "best" sad movie you've ever seen? 

HALLIE EPHRON: But Hank, you love Game of Thrones?!?! Seriously, you don't like sad endings??

HANK:  Huh. I don't think Games of Thrones is sad. Hardly at all. Huh. It's high-stakes, and high-stress. And violent. But sad?  Only...once or twice, and then not REALLY sad. Anyway. 

HALLIE: I confess to jumping to the end when the tension is just too great and I can't stand what looks like is going to happen. And when people ask me about my books I ALWAYS reassure them that I never kill children. 

Best sad movie I've seen (recently) was Me, Earl, and the Dying Girl.The premise, the performances, the characters (sweet geeky high school losers). Divine.

JENN McKINLAY: I don't do sad. Period. But, yes, I love Game of Thrones because, well, not to be shallow but Jon Snow. 

Forest Gump had me curled up in a fetal position sobbing for two days. It was unpleasant. 

One of my biggest challenges as a writer is my inability to torture my characters. I am much more comfortable with a snappy one liner during an anguish filled scene and move along, folks, nothing to see here. I am working on it. *Sigh* But, yeah, I don't do sad. I avoid it at all cost because, honestly, isn't life tough enough? Plus my nose gets really, really red and I look like a drinker.

INGRID THOFT: I’m okay with sad, although I don’t seek it out, but I definitely don’t do manipulative.  You know, when you can see the sad coming from a mile away, and you feel like you’ve been used a little bit?  Like the writer or filmmaker pushed the “easy button” on your heart?  I really don’t like that.  


Also, I have never recovered from the scene in “Terms of Endearment” in which Shirley MacLaine bangs on the nurses’ station begging them to give Debra Winger more pain meds.  Debra may have been dying, but that scene killed me.  That was 35 years ago, and it still upsets me! 

JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: Right now, I am all about the anti-sad. I'm reading Regency romances (always a happy ending) and watching Hallmark Holiday movies (yes, still!) Normally, however, I like a certain kind of sad. Death of children? No. Cruelty of mankind? Absolutely not. I saw SCHINDLER'S LIST once, and it was an amazing, praiseworthy film, but I'm never going to see it again.

On the other hand, I love noble self-sacrifice. Love that Cannot Be. For instance, I adore the movie version of BRIDGES OF MADISON COUNTY (the book is dreadful.) I'm like, "Oh, no! They love each other! But they can't ever be together!" Copious tears. And I do love the George RR Martin books, even though beloved characters die all the time. Maybe because I never feel, as Ingrid said, used a little bit. They don't die because the author is manipulating your feelings, they die because they inhabit a violent world where there are no deus ex machinas to make things come out all right.

LUCY BURDETTE: I totally have that same scene imprinted in my brain for life, Ingrid. Shirley MacLaine was brilliant there. I don't go looking for sad, but I can take it if something comes out of it. Like the ending of AJ FIKRY was a good ending that emerged from the sad. But I can't do relentlessly grim or scary. There's too much of that on the news. 

Julia, read Kristan Higgins's books. Just what the doctor ordered!

HANK: Yes, yes, Kristan's book will cure any sorrows. (And our Jenn's of course.) 

RHYS BOWEN: When I was young I used to wallow in sad. Little Women and Beth dying. A little Princess. Loved all that sort of stuff. Now I'm old and wise and I know that the world is not fair and takes what we love from us I find it hard to watch anything too sad. I did love It's A Beautiful Life because it was actually so life affirming. I couldn't see Schindler's List. When I saw Out of Africa I came out with tears streaming down my face. Not because Dennis Finch Hatton had died and Karen Blitzen's dreams had been crushed but because I would never have that great and overpowering romance in my life!  

I find that recently I am very picky what I choose to watch at the movies. I have to know I can handle it before I go. And it has to end well!

DEBORAH CROMBIE: I don't do sad nearly as well as I did when I was younger. Oh, my, I loved sobbing my way through OUT OF AFRICA, and THE ENGLISH PATIENT was my favorite movie for a couple of years. Now I don't know how I watched it, although I still listen to the soundtrack. 

And SHADOWLANDS, did anyone see that, about C.S. Lewis's wife dying? But people are so funny. Rick absolutely HATED Shadowlands. But he LOVES City of Angels, and we will rewatch it. I cannot.

These days, however, I don't know if it's age or the state of the world, but I pretty much want to know that things are going to turn out okay, or at least sort of okay, before I invest my time in a movie.

HANK: Yes, people will say to me, "oh, I don't want to ruin the movie/book/TV show for you by telling you the ending."  And I say--TELL ME. I can handle it better if I am prepared. 

(And did you notice? Two Debra Winger movies, and two of Meryl's? Hmm.)

What about you, reds and readers? Do you do sad? What's the saddest  movie/book/TV show ever? And are you happy (!) you experienced it?

For you from Jungle Red: Almost a Poem!

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: Happy weird week between Christmas and New Years!

I'm doing my holiday cards today. No comment.

And (as always, with my apologizes to Clement Moore and Dr.Seuss) here's a holiday gift poem from your grateful Jungle Reds. And another gift below! 

TOASTING JULIA AT BOUCHERCON!  Next year, we will all be together.

'Twas two days after Christmas

And all through this site

Not a blogger was working

Not even to write.

Our books were all saved on our cloud files with care

In hopes that bestseller lists soon would be there.

Our new novels were nestled all snug in their beds

While visions of royalties danced in our heads.

The Jungle Red sisters, (four east and four west)

Had just settled our brains for a well-deserved rest.

But while closing our eyes, what sweet dreams did appear?

All the Jungle Red news that had changed us last year.

There was glory of course, (may her sales still increase)

Farleigh Field sold a billion—applause to our Rhys!

Key West took a hit, though, alas and alack

But with Lucy at keyboard, we know they’ll be back.

Hallie always will rock it, and as we should know:

Her creepy new doll book –won Best Au-di-o!

And Hank’s still applauding, it brought her great cheer

When her book was dubbed a best of the year!

Debs’ Gemma and James wow in book—sev’nteen?

Our Julia’s writing—superfabulous keen!

Plus what to our widening eyes did appear

Two perfect new Reds!

Jenn and Ingrid are here!

  

 But what makes us the happiest—keeps every day new?

We knew in a moment—it’s our blogging crew!

You listen, you chatter, you join in the game

We cheer you, we love you, we call you by name!

Thanks, DebRo! Thanks Edith! Thanks beloved Joan E!

Both Karens, and Lesa, and darling Pat D.

Hail Ramona, and Susan, Gigi and Mare

We hope Jim and Amanda will always be there

Here’s to Reine, and Danielle, and to Mary (there’s two)

To Grace, Mark and Judi—good tidings to you!

Same for Karen (in O), and Gram Cootie as well,

And dear Mary Garrett--the stories she’ll tell!

To Flora, and Marianne, and Keenan (whoo hoo!)

To Coralee, Biblio—we always thank you!

Kaye Barley, we love you, and love to Don, too.

(We know that this year’s been a big one for you!)

Our guest bloggers were stellar:

Fairstein and James

Strawser, Gard'ner and Brennan…hard to list all their names!

To Delia, and Kristopher (king of the list!)

To Kathy B. Reel--consider you're kissed.

Hail to Kait, and to Margaret—hail Ann, of course, too 

Hail “Anonymous” also--love hearing from you!

And all hail dear Ross, we now raise a sweet toast

You brought us all happiness—we all miss you. The most.

We had memories, recipes, tales of our youth

We’ve had jokes, and disasters, and telling the truth.

To the top of the lists! To the top of them all!

We’re revising, and writing, and sharing our call!

As dry words before our reviser’s pen fly

When they meet with cliché, and we fix them (we try):

We’re almost at New Years, and our thoughts go to you

May you write perfect books, may your wishes come true!

May you waste not a word, may you write fresh and new

And fill all your stories with mysteries and clues

And remember: on days that things don’t turn out right

And you wonder if this was a fraud and a fright

You have sisters on line—there are eight of us here!

And each one is wishing you all-the-year cheer.

And we all say—we love you! ‘Fore you click from our site--

Happy Holidays to All

—and long may you Write!

HANK: Here's an alternate ending:
And we all say--we love you! Good new year, indeed!
Much joy to you all--and long may you read!

And to that end: a selection of Jungle Red books to one lucky commenter! Happy holiday week, everyone!

Snow What?

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN:  It's snowing in Boston. Yeah, I know, it's December, whaddaya expect? But (because we're home) it's so pretty, and no scary, and not blustery. Just a gentle sweet little dusting of decoration from Mother Nature.

Here's the cast iron colt we have in our side yard. He's life size, and my constant joy.

Hank's side yard

Is it snowing where you are? Or what's it like outside your window right now? 


LUCY BURDETTE:  Oh I'm envious of that first snow, does that sound silly? But I hated worrying about driving in winter--don't miss that at all.

The front is passing through Key West now--rain, wind, and a 20 degree drop in temperature. All the tourists on Duval St. were wearing their plastic garbage bag cover-ups!

outside Hallie's study

HALLIE EPHRON: Here's the view out my window - powdered-sugar snow. And it's coming down in big fat flakes like in a snow globe. 

First snow. Love it. Hasn't gotten old...yet. As long as I don't have to drive, and I'm not going ANYWHERE until it stops. I heard this storm brought snow to Texas(!)

JENN MCKINLAY: No snow in central AZ. I've only seen it snow twice here in the twenty plus years I've been here and then it never sticks. Snow is always magical to me! But since I can't have snow I settle for amazing sunsets and holiday lights - which I put up today! 

The view from Jenn's front porch!

HANK:  Wow. Amazing, Jenn. And look at this!  
By 8:30, the snow had not stopped! This is our back yard.

And the bird bath is about two inches deep..so that means...how many inches?

Hank's back yard--bird bath at 8:30

SO pretty, right?

Reds, what's the weather where you are?

((And the winner of Jessica Strawsers's ALMOST MISSED YOU is Mary C!  (Lucky you!) Email me at  h ryan at whdh dot com to  claim your prize!

Hurray for the Liv Constantine winners! Your books are on the way asap.)