To Tell The Truth

JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: The literary world has recently been abuzz with the story of AJ Finn, the author of the bestselling THE WOMAN IN THE WINDOW. It turns out that Finn, under his real name of Dan Mallory, is a publishing executive how seems to have gone through life lying about everything - his health, family members being dead, advanced degrees, work experience, etc, etc. The story the New Yorker did about him is amazing - and perhaps the most amazing part is being exposed as a four-Pinocchio pants on fire guy hasn't hurt his career at all.

Another New Yorker, who hasn't landed quite on her feet, is Anna Delvey, the "Soho Grifter," who spun a web of lies about being an heiress that enabled her to live like one for quite some time - until hotels and art galleries began to demand payment. She's now on trial for grand larceny and theft of services, but even in the courtroom, she's managed to show up wearing Michael Kors, Yves Saint Lauren and Victoria Beckham. How is she paying for it? Well, she is very good at talking people into giving her things. 

The part that amazes me about folks like Mallory and Delvey is how they live with themselves. I don't mean morally and ethically - I mean how can you lie and lie without having a heart attack from the anxiety of getting caught?

I was a terrible liar as a child, in that I would attempt a bald-faced assertion that I hadn't gotten into the chocolate chip cookies with crumbs at my feet and chocolate smeared on my mouth. It wasn't until I was in my teens that I mastered the kindly lies that make people feel better - saying, "Isn't this lovely!" instead of "I already have this," when getting a gift. 

As an adult, I got better, as one does. I lied every time Ross asked me if I could see his bald spot. No regrets. I would also lie when he would ask me, while I was away on book tour, if I missed him. Well, he was at home, cooking dinner, driving kids, settling arguments and cleaning out the litter box - all things I would be doing were I at home. Meanwhile, I was getting room service in a Hilton in Houston or Denver, and would be picked up in the morning by a cheerful escort to be driven around town to places where people treated me like a rock star.

"Oh, yes, sweetheart, I miss you a lot." Not sorry for that one, either.

I've gotten out of a few tickets for things like not having my registration up to date or going past my inspection, but I suspect those were more about looking like a helpless white-haired lady than my convincing claim that, "I didn't realize it was due last month!" And of course I have a long track record of telliing my editor my manuscript would be done on X date, and not coming through - but at the time I said it, it was the truth. I'm just utter rubbish at estimating my writing speed.

So Reds, have you ever told a little white lie? Tried to skip out of trouble? Pour oil on troubled waters? Has a lie ever backfired on you?
JENN McKINLAY: I'm a very good liar. Seriously, it's like a super power and usually even I'm surprised at what comes out of my mouth. For example, a friend and I were driving in New Haven (college days) and I swerved into the lane beside me because I was rocking out to the Ramones, and the guy I cut off rolled up next to me and began to chew me out (deservedly so). I looked right at him and said, "I'm so sorry. I lost a contact lens and I can't see a thing!" He blinked and said, "Oh, well, drive safe!" At which point, my friend and I drove off, cackling with the Ramones still cranking. Truly, I had no idea I was going to say that and it totally worked! That being said, I haven't had to wield my "gift" much since the misspent days of my youth. I hope it hasn't atrophied. LOL.

RHYS BOWEN: It turns out I'm a good liar too. When the Reds had the famous Name That Red panel and each had to make up outlandish stories I was the one who fooled the audience every time... to the point when I thought there should be some career advantage in being such a bare faced liar! In real life I was brought up in a strict Christian household and would be sweating bullets if I lied. I think the worst I ever did was to tell my parents I was going to a G movie when in fact it was more PG. But I have been good about keeping surprise parties secret with appropriate fibs.

JULIA: How about you, dear readers?  Have you been telling fibs? Now's the chance to confess all...

On Lying

JAN: Because I believe some things never change, I've reposted this 2009 blog.

"And, after all, what is a lie? 'Tis but The truth in masquerade"

Lord Byron

JAN: Do people really lie three times within 10 minutes of meeting someone new? That's a popular statistic circulating the web. Even as a journalist, always searching for lies, I found this tough to believe.

But then I realized. Hey, It's true. I probably lie a minimum of three times within the first ten minutes of a cocktail party. At least by the way the study defines lying.

Included in the definition are things like falsely agreeing with others and the misrepresentation of feelings. Ever choke back the way you really think?? I do it all the time.

Let me explain. Politically, I'm probably to the left of 80 percent of the country. Personally, of course, I think I'm dead center, with some surprising views on various issues that keep both the conservative and the liberal action groups sending me mail. But I live in Massachusetts, so by local standards, I'm a raging conservative. And because I'm a writer, people take it for granted that I'm liberal. They make statements presuming I agree with them. Do I jump into it?

It would mean a verbal fist fight, and because I believe that no one has ever really swayed anyone's political beliefs by cocktail conversation, I smile and say nothing.

For me, it's politics. For others it's religion, music, or whether they actually enjoy the ballet. I know people who have to lie to stop people from shoving a cocktail into their hands. Sometimes we just keep our mouths shut because it just doesn't seem right to tell your best friend her new hairdo looks like straw or that her new drapes are making you dizzy.

So come on, fess up: What do you LIE about??

HALLIE: Here's what I don't lie about. My age. Or what I paid for the outfit you just complimented me on, bless you.

But yes, if someone starts in on anything political, I don't so much lie as refuse to engage. My politics are my personal business, thank you very much. Besides, it seems like I rarely meet anyone who is genuinely interested in engaging in a discussion on issues--they just want to be clever and dismissive and yell. So I shut down. Is that lying?

JAN: Yes, according to this study's definition: You are lying about your feelings, God forbid.

RO: My first instinct was to protest that I never lie, but reading your definition of lying I guess I do. I went to a reunion recently...and definitely dropped a few omissions/lies there. And Bouchercon is coming up...oooh I'll probably do a bit of fibbing there. (e.g., "It's an honor just to be nominated!") I try not to make a habit of it, though, because I'm really a terrible liar. My mother always used to say that and I think she did it just to spook me into always telling her the truth. She said she could always tell when I was lying and now I think everyone else can too.

So Hallie...where did you get that wonderful black shoulder bag you have...the small one with the metal clasp? Was it fabulously expensive? (This is a test.)

HALLIE: Ooooh,isn't it great? Italy! At a factory outlet...gorgeousness for less than $50.00. Unless you count the cost of the trip. Those Italians really know how to make gorgeous handbags.

HANK: I guess...I do...I always feel SO GUILTY,though. Social excuses, mostly.(Oh, so sorry we can't make it, because...but most often I don't give a reason.) And I actually do lie about the cost of things. Actually, I don't lie, I just don't tell. And in political discussions, I generally just try to prevent the other two guys from fighting.

There's a person I see from time to time, and if you ask her a question, she'll often begin her answer with "I'm not gonna lie to you, but..." I just instantly decide whatever she's saying is not true. (And RO, it IS an honor to be nominated for an Anthony. No lie. Congratulations!)


JAN: Okay everyone, what do YOU LIE about?