JENN McKINLAY: Last week I was doing a Zoom chat with the chick lit book club. Invariably, the question of what my writing life looks like came up and when I mentioned I had three cozy mysteries, one women’s fiction, and two novellas to write in 2022, one of the attendees said, “Well, that seems like a lot. How do you get it all done and what do you do for self-care?”
Insert sound of a record scratch here while I blinked stupidly at the screen. I think I gave a very “Um…uh…I…well…” sort of non-answer. Honestly, no one has ever asked me about self-care before, and I was completely unprepared. Frankly, I don’t even know what self care is. I’m a caffeine, carb and sugar loaded workaholic. I think more work is my version self-care, which is just sooooo wrong, and I think it’s time to change that so I’m asking you, my dear Reds, what do you do to take care of yourself? Asking for a friend – i.e. me – because I have no idea how to even begin.
Currently Jenn's idea of self care:
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| Showstopper Milkshake at the Hotel Valley Ho in Scottsdale -- yes, that's a whole slice of cake and a cookie on top of a milkshake. |
LUCY BURDETTE: John’s website, Top Retirements, recently ran an article about Sanjay Gupta’s book on keeping your mind sharp. Guess what was #1 on the list? Yup, exercise. Like it or not. When the pandemic first struck, I started doing yoga most days. Now I have two regular sessions on Zoom with teachers I love. I walk 2 miles or more most days, and swim one day when we’re in Florida. Oh, and one session with weights and a trainer per week. That definitely helps! But also eating–I try for lots of vegetables, and everything else in moderation.
Staying connected helps too. That’s where my Jungle Red family shines!
RHYS BOWEN: My number one in self care is staying connected, Jenn. Before Covid struck I would have lunch with friends at least once a week. Since Covid it’s been lots of Zoom with family and most recently everyone together in person again. And daily contact with the Reds and online friends is important. I also exercise. We walk every afternoon. I swim/ deep water exercise most days.
Also the small things : soaking in a hot bath, laughing at an old TV comedy, just taking time to sit outdoors and appreciate nature, eating a favorite meal.
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| A good long hot soak seems to be a fave among the Reds. |
HALLIE EPHRON: Jenn, isn’t it possible that work IS your version of self-care? Or at least part of it? I know for me, sorting and organizing is extremely calming and satisfying. AKA a form of self care? Yes, walking but it’s sleeting here right now and that ain’t gonna happen. So I’ll get on the exercise bike which you canNOT convince me is a form of self care. It’s a chore.
YES YES YES to talking on the phone to my favorite people, something which a decade ago I would have told you I hated. Soaking in a hot bath. Sipping a hot cup of tea.
So is “self care” something that’s “good for you” or something that “makes you feel good”?
Jenn: Good question, Hallie! I have no idea, but I think it's supposed to be both. Hence the workaholic thing I've got going is no bueno.
HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: Self-care. Hmmm. AH, I walk on the treadmill an hour a day, which also lets me read a book at the same time, and I really look forward to that! (Hallie, could you listen to an audio book while you ride? That could really make a difference.) I am really careful about healthy eating, and have learned that half a cookie from time to time, or one bite of something delicious will be okay. I’m a pretty solitary person, anyay, so I am so happy to get to be with my manuscript and enjoy the quiet–I spent the last 40 years in a very loud news environment, so peace is lovely to me.
But I am on the same page (!) as you Jenn, I love working-writing, and (usually) it doesn't seem like work, and aren’t we lucky about that? And I would not be “happy” if I stopped that.
So, yeah, is that bad? People always say–you should relax. And I think, hmm, I AM relaxed. I am just working.
JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: Yeah, I need to be less about the self-care and more of a workaholic (or at least a work-a-like-it.) Like everyone else, exercise. I haven’t gone back to the Y, but with three dogs in the house, I walk a mile every day will I, nil I. Hallie, I listen to podcasts though my Bluetooth earbud, and it makes the time fly, even when I’m untangling three leashes.
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| Julia at peak self care |
I practice a lot of hygge as well, which might not be as applicable to Jenn in Arizona. Sitting with a book in front of a roaring fire, wearing fuzzy socks and wooly wraps, drinking hot cocoa - these things just relax me.
Oh, and best self care? Taking my bra off at the end of the day. Woosh!
DEBORAH CROMBIE: You can't beat that for self care, Julia!
I realize that I am also happiest when I'm working, so maybe I should do more of that, not less. But my biggest self-care thing since the beginning of the pandemic is my nightly bath. The only time I've missed my pre-bedtime ritual was during last winter's Snowmageddon, when we had no power! Twenty or thirty minutes soaking in my little clawfoot tub while listening to an audio book and I feel all is right with the world again, no matter what's happened during the day.
What about you, Readers? What do you do for self care?
